A Knight of Shreds and Patches

Wander Into Something More Dangerous

Episode Summary

The Patina ventures into the Guts of Sasnak.

Episode Notes

The Patina ventures into the Guts of Sasnak.

Cast: 
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. 
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube. 
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.

Music & Sound Credits: 
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License
- Dripping (Zoom) » Dripping, Slow, A.wav by InspectorJ. Link & License
- rusty wheel 07.wav by tim.kahn. Link & License
- Dumpster_Press_2.wav by Corruptinator. Link & License
- Carrot Sticks by Doctor Turtle. Link & License
- Arcadia Base by audiorezout. Link & License.

Art Credits: 
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.

Find Us Online: 
- Our Website 
- Twitter 
- Join our Patreon 
- Join our Discord

Episode Transcription

A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 22: Wander Into Something More Dangerous
Transcript by Cameron Robertson

Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]

Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –

Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.

Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.

Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.

Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.

Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.

Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:

Welcome to this week’s act of the AKoSaP crew’s queer joy! We make art and spread our joy (and a variety of other fun emotions), despite the other things that are happening in the world, and will continue to do so, regardless of the other things that will be happening in the world. There’s always another tale to tell, so keep tuning in and taking care of yourself. Each and every one of you is important and has the right to be happy.

And if you want to take a break from telling tales and do some more tale listening, consider backing our Patreon, which gives you access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.

And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 22: Wander Into Something More Dangerous. And so…

“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”

[hurdy gurdy music ends]

[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]

[over radio]
Kit (as Birdie): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, I went and talked to Wander to do a little double agenting. I mean - you know, what’s the fun in life without a little double crossing. And I mean all the councilmembers are really double crossing each other anyway, so it doesn’t really matter, but I think I stressed the group out a little more than I meant to. Um. So hopefully that’s um - I hope they’re fine with it. I’m sure they would be. Um so - anyways. Afterwards we met up and went to get snacks in the Merchant’s Alley and um, now we’re going into the Guts. [anxious energy] So. I’m really excited to go back. Ha ha ha. [pause] Heh heh…
[radio static]

Episode Start:

Nick: The humid depths of the Guts of Sasnak Traveling are just ahead of the Patina as they work their way through this secret entrance that Birdie has led them to. You all have the route and maps provided by Opal to fetch this circuit key that is part of your negotiation with her, one of the tasks you have agreed to complete and are contractually obligated to do. It's quiet enough at the beginning of this hike down this pipeline that you flinch at the echoing sounds of your feet striking metal and debris and puddles, but soon the background roar of mechanics and the clanks of misfit gears drown that noise out. You come to a dead end on this pipeline caused by a grate that has been clogged with what looks to be decades of trash, but to one side, the pipe has rusted and been broken inwards and through the jagged hole, you can see a small room - the walls made of pipes and valves and gages, lit by a single red light diffusing from up above. It appears that you have made it into the Guts.

Penn (as Marathon): Dank down here. Did it always smell like this, Birdie?

Penn: Marathon is pinching her nose a little bit as they walk.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, it's the well it's where the sewage goes. You know, my family, before I was with them, they did a job down here and came back apparently covered in like shit. So that's, like, always an option.

Sydney (as Cassidy): But doesn't - isn't the sewage like in pipes? It's not just like on the ground.

Cameron (as Emma): So like, shit shit and not just like we're in this gross stuff?

Kit (as Birdie): Uh well, you can guess that maybe one of the pipes burst.

Cameron (as Emma): Eugh.

Kit (as Birdie): So~

Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay, so don't open the pipes.

Kit (as Birdie): Don't - yeah, don't burst the pipes.

Penn (as Marathon): Does that happen frequently?

Penn: Marathon is suddenly covering her hair with her hands.

Kit (as Birdie): It doesn't, no they did it on purpose. It was Juno's fault.

Sydney (as Cassidy): They did it on purpose?

Cameron (as Emma): Wait. They they they opened the pipe on purpose, and then just happened to get covered in shit?

Kit (as Birdie): No~

Sydney (as Cassidy): Or is this like teenage kid thing where one of them is walking under a pipe and so they open it on the other one?

Kit (as Birdie): You you'll get pretty desperate to get octopi away from you during an attack.

Cameron (as Emma): I -

Penn (as Marathon): Oh god, that's terrifying!

Cameron (as Emma): I don't think I'm gonna be that desperate.

Kit (as Birdie): [laugh]

Cameron: Emma shifts her shoulders so that the hilt of her sword jostles behind her head.

Nick: So far with this conversation, you catch a unique bouquet of smells that all of you, besides Birdie, have not had the good fortune to experience all at once before. There is the sharp and repulsive tang of old sewage, but more prevalent than that, there is the burning smell of melted plastic and ozone of short circuiting wires and high voltage and overlaid and dominating your impression is a smell that you could only describe as being hit in the face by a dead fish's dirty socks.

Penn (as Marathon): Sheesh~! God Birdie.

Kit (as Birdie): [why is it my fault] What??

Cameron (as Emma): This is unpleasant.

Kit (as Birdie): It's the Guts! It smells like -

Penn (as Marathon): I'm blaming you for this.

Cameron (as Emma): I wasn't expecting it to be nice.

Kit (as Birdie): It's bad, yeah. This is just how it always is.

Penn (as Marathon): [pinching nose] What what tips do you have for this olfactory disaster?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Just take deep breaths till your brain filters it out.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, like go nose blind to it. You're gonna have to shower when you get out of here anyways, because it's gonna be stuck in your hair if you don't.

Penn: Marathon un-pinches her nose and scrunches her face as she purposefully takes a few breaths.

Nick: As you all get as used to the smell as you can and get your bearings, I need you all to make a hard Survival check. Everyone will have a black die on this, except for Birdie, who will have a blue die.

Penn: I have got three purple, one black, and three green.

Cameron: I also have three greens, three purples, and the black.

Sydney: I have a yellow and two greens against the three purples and a black.

Kit: I am rolling three green, one blue and three purple.

[dice rolling]

Penn: I got three failures and an advantage.

Cameron: Three successes and two threats.

Sydney: One success and two threats.

Kit: [laughing] Five successes and three threats.

Nick: Okay. So, based on the Survival check - to start Marathon, as everyone begins to look around and prepare themselves for this expedition ahead, you find yourself pretty discombobulated about your surroundings. As people begin to compare their entry point to the maps provided by Opal that you each have, Marathon you just are really struggling to orient yourself based on these instructions. The rest of you are pretty easily able to find this entry point or what's closest to the entry point on the map based on where Birdie knows you have come out, and you are pretty easily able to predict what turns and what routes you will need to take to get to where the circuit key is supposed to be.

As you go to leave this room, there is a metal hatch, much like you would see on an old ship or bunker, with a wheel that you have to turn to unlock the door and pull open and Birdie as you turn this wheel and pull the door back, the door shrieks with the sound of protesting hinges and rust, and as the door swings open, you hear this loud noise echo into the depths of the Guts, and everyone remembers that Opal requested that you don't be seen down here, and that, especially if you are, that this not be tied back to her and probably making lots of loud noises down here is not a great start, although you don't immediately hear any activity. No one is sprinting to see where that noise came from, but if anybody heard it, they're probably suspicious at this point.

Kit (as Birdie): [sigh]

Penn: Marathon is holding her map sideways and rotates it 180 degrees, and still can't seem to get it before stuffing it haphazardly into her back pocket and trying to catch up with everyone.

Sydney (as Cassidy): As long as we're keeping up a pretty good pace I don't - I think there's so many other noises and everything going on down here that one random thing should be fine.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't know, Birdie.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, it should be. I just don't want to attract non human things too.

Sydney (as Cassidy): You holding up alright?

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah. Let's move away from the noise.

Penn (as Marathon): There was a noise?

Cameron (as Emma): Mara- Marathon?

Penn (as Marathon): I'm so - I'm just - it's so twisty down here.

Nick: The first part of this route is pretty straightforward. These corridors down here are a mixture of what look to be giant sized conduits where piping and wires for the city's infrastructure itself are run and then those lead into service corridors, tunnels that have been plasma cut through bulkheads. The surfaces that you're walking on and the walls are made of vary wildly, but most of them are sharp or rusty, and this place is generally dark, humid, and hostile. The first issue that you run into is the way marked on the map you can tell is already not up to date. One of the walkways that the map shows should be a flat path has a large chasm where you would expect there to be floor. Maybe this was a tunnel once, but there was some sort of mechanical failure, or a modification was made by somebody, or raw materials were salvage that weren't thought to be necessary for the function of the city. And there is a roughly 10 meter wide gap with sheer walls that disappear down into the darkness below. And you can see that the route that you need to continue on is on the far side of this space, but you're going to need to figure out how to safely get across this large open area. The walls on either side are smooth. There are some projections and holes in the ceiling that you could potentially anchor to, but you're going to need some way to get across.

Kit (as Birdie): Well, um.

Sydney: Cassidy drops her pack on the ground next to them and starts digging around for climbing supplies.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, if we're gonna go through it, I mean, I've got lots of rope. Well, I have some rope.

Penn (as Marathon): Enough rope?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well enough for what? I'm not gonna build a rope bridge.

Penn (as Marathon): I guess all of us to climb? I'm pretty - this is kind of embarrassing - I'm pretty inexperienced in the climbing uh, scene.

Kit (as Birdie): Well, that's why you have Miss Cassidy.

Penn (as Marathon): Exactly. That's why I was asking. I don't know, is there enough rope?

Nick: There is enough rope.

Sydney: So the amount of rope that Cassidy carries on these excursions that are not specifically climbing is in the 75 foot range, which is enough to be able to do like a there and back, to be able to set up some kind of a rope bridge thing where you can put your feet on the bottom and harness into the cross rope and then lean on it as you go across. She's got a cut down but functional traditional climbing rack, so she's got a few like quick draws and carabiners to be able to rig up an anchor. It just might be at a weird angle.

Kit (as Birdie): Um, I'll also say that after we get across, we should discuss the fact that the map's not correct. These aren't updated.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Do you~ - would we be better served going around before I take all this stuff out and be above this -

Sydney: Cassidy looks towards the edge.

Sydney (as Cassidy): - potentially very deep hole.

Kit: Birdie is gonna nudge a pebble off the ledge with the toe of her boot.

Penn (as Marathon): I don't suppose this is a run and jump situation? [laugh]

Sydney: Cassidy stands up and goes to look at Birdie's map.

Nick: So Birdie, you know from experience, there is probably another way to go, but you have not been down in this part of the Guts in a long time, probably longer than before this map was made, so it would be pretty luck based on if you were able to quickly find a route around and not get lost or wander into something more dangerous. So that is absolutely an option. That would be another Survival check at a harder difficulty to figure out another wayfinding way to get there, but you'll be off the path so if things don't go well, the consequences are immediately more.

Kit (as Birdie): Okay. Um I know that there are other ways to go, so I have - I'm just worried about, you know, what else we run into there, but it's - I think it would be fine. I think we should be fine as a group, as long as we stay together with moving forward in another direction. Really, it's either we fall down an indeterminate distance, possibly, or we go around and find another challenge that's maybe a bit less 'you make it or you break it' type thing.

Penn (as Marathon): I think we can make it.

Penn: Marathon puts her hands on her hips.

Kit (as Birdie): I -

Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, this isn't a super hard climb for me, but I'm gonna be the only one that has to get across, to get across on the ceiling. So

Penn (as Marathon): I wonder if I can run and jump it.

Sydney (as Cassidy): No, you can't.

Cameron (as Emma): You would have better luck trying to skate on the walls.

Penn (as Marathon): Skate and jump it. That is an ingenious idea, Miss Emma.

Cameron (as Emma): Thank you. I am an engineer.

Penn (as Marathon): It's like, kind of like a half pipe.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Except all right angles?

Cameron (as Emma): Except a flat wall. [laugh]

Nick: It would be harder for Cassidy to do the multiple dynamic moves on the ceiling she would have to do to get across - still within the realm of possibility, than it would be for Marathon to do that wall run with skates. But also Marathon is probably the only one who's super confident that that would work, and she hasn't done it before.

Kit (as Birdie): If maybe we can hook the rope to the ceiling to give Marathon something to hang on to, just in case she falls in the middle of it, that would make me feel better about trying this method.

Penn (as Marathon): A safety net. Not a bad idea.

Cameron (as Emma): You don't you don't want us to just to hold on to the other end of the rope and assume that we can catch her weight as it falls and the three of us can pull her back up?

Kit (as Birdie): Um, [overlapping] well considering -

Sydney (as Cassidy): [overlapping] Well depending on where she falls, the angle might be real bad anyway.

Cameron (as Emma): Cause I too am questioning the math on that.

Kit (as Birdie): The momentum would be kind of crazy, too, if she's at a dead sprint. I don't recommend her using us as an anchor. I'd rather her be anchored to like a railing that's still back here or -

Penn (as Marathon): So wait. Are we in on this idea?

Penn: Marathon is beaming.

Kit (as Birdie): I'm considering it.

Cameron (as Emma): As long as you do not immediately go off and try it as soon as we say yes, we are considering the idea.

Penn (as Marathon): Awesome

Penn: Marathon contently keeps her hands on her hips, confidently.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Have you even tried skating on walls with them?

Penn (as Marathon): Well, I've been on waves-ish. They kind of fell.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. You know, they both start with W, that's, that's pretty close.

Penn (as Marathon): I mean, I've had some time to play with these. I've, I've tried it. I haven't done it this far, specifically because there's not been an opportunity or a space to do so. But I've done a little bit of what I like to call wall gliding.

Penn: Marathon's face looks like she just said something very smart.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, you gotta be going pretty fast to not fall below the edge by the other side.

Penn (as Marathon): I can go pretty fast.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, but then you run the risk of, like, splatting into the wall.

Penn (as Marathon): But then the rope. I can take some bruises.

Sydney (as Cassidy): To pull you back so that you fall into the hole when you hit the other side?

Penn (as Marathon): Look, I can handle some bruises.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, but we're trying not to take anything that we don't need to. Birdie what - what do you - which part of the map are you saying is wrong?

Kit (as Birdie): Look, if, if this part is wrong, the - so - the issue is that the this is just said to be a continuous walkway. There's not supposed to be a massive hole that obviously took time to create. So we don't know how reliable the rest of this map is.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Gotcha.

Cameron (as Emma): I mean, it could have taken time to create, or something could have gone very, very badly, very quickly.

Kit (as Birdie): Yes.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Maybe there's just a button around here that we just smack in and a bridge comes across.

Cameron (as Emma): You know, I don't, don't think so.

Penn (as Marathon): I mean, if I get across and I'm holding a rope and y'all got the rope on the other side, I can tie something, and we can do, like, a little pull across or,

Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, that's what my plan was going to be when I got over there, but I'm - my knot tying skills are probably more practiced.

Penn (as Marathon): I see there's doubt -

Kit (as Birdie): I can tie knots.

Penn (as Marathon): -in my knot tying skills.

Cameron (as Emma): I'm gonna refrain from commenting.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Marathon, how many knots do you know how to tie?

Penn (as Marathon): Three?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay.

Nick: Sounds like either Cassidy can do a challenging, but won't get her killed because also rope, climbing thing, Marathon can try and skate across and create a path, or you all can go around and try to find a different route.

Kit (as Birdie): Um, Cassidy Rock Paper Scissors. If you win, we'll do the Marathon idea, if I win, we're gonna go around.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Oh, so my idea is out already?

Kit (as Birdie): Oh, we could also do that! But a three way Rock Paper Scissors involves a tournament, and that would just get really complicated. If - okay, fine.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Fine.

Kit (as Birdie): We can -

Sydney (as Cassidy): Whatever here. Rock.

Penn (as Marathon): Damn. This is tense.

Cameron (as Emma): Fun fact: Sasnak has their own version of the Rock, Paper, Scissors game called Domes, Ramps, and Guts.

Kit (as Birdie): Okay, um, Domes, Ramps and Guts.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, you don't want you didn't like my rock?

Cameron (as Emma): It's really important that you adapt to the local culture, Cassidy.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I thought it was important that we didn't waste time.

Kit (as Birdie): Oh, I thought -

Cameron (as Emma): We're not, we're -

Kit (as Birdie): - you were gonna count us off and say rock paper scissors. You just said rock. And that makes - that defeats the purpose of the game, Cassidy.

Penn (as Marathon): Okay, y'all! Count us down, Emma.

Penn: Marathon is feeling very eager.

Cameron (as Emma): Okay, so we're gonna do rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Show on shoot.

Kit (as Birdie): Okay. Okay.

Cameron (as Emma): Okay. Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!

Kit (as Birdie): I did paper.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I still did rock.

Sydney: And Cassidy grabs her pack off the ground, looks across the abyss, looks back to birdie, and gestures expectantly.

Nick: Okay, so you are not going to attempt to cross this path and instead you are going to try to find another way. I need Birdie to make another Survival check at hard difficulty. You are now pathfinding through a part of the Guts you are unfamiliar with, so there are no blue die. And I am going to flip my GM Story Point to upgrade the difficulty by one, so you're rolling against two purples in a red you.

Kit: That's three green, one red, and two purple. It's a wash.

Nick: Very good. So you back up and you find a side route and you all begin to move as a group, staying together because you're now in uncertain territory, and make your way further into the Guts going around this hole that you decided not to cross, and you quickly find that you have gone down several levels, but things are no longer matching the map that you have even relatively and Birdie, this place looks pretty unfamiliar to you. I need everyone to make me a hard Stealth check, please.

Penn: I am rolling three purples and two green.

Sydney: I am rolling a yellow and four green against three purples.

Kit: Birdie is rolling one yellow, three green, and three purple.

Cameron: And a yellow and a green against three purples.

[dice rolling]

Penn: Complete wash.

Sydney: Failure and a threat.

Kit: Two failures and three advantages.

Cameron: A success, a threat, and a Triumph.

Nick: The route that you all are continuing down is getting more and more humid. Various pipes that appear to have hot water have pinhole leaks that are shooting steam into the air. The background is filled with hissing, and the only light source that you're not bringing with you are periodic red emergency lights that cast everything in unsettling shadow. Emma, as the only person who was successful in this Stealth check, you have lagged a little behind the group, taking up the rear so you can keep a watchful eye on your friends and keep an ear out for any pursuit, when a unsettlingly big clump of fluid drops out of the ceiling with a wet plop, like a ladle full of pudding being thrown to the ground. And before you can make an exclamation of disgust, your eyes adjust a little to the dark and you see that it's not a fluid, it is a giant octopus. Its body is about the size of your torso, and its legs are long enough that they could stretch from your head to your toes. It doesn't seem to be focused on you. It looks like, in its own gloppy way, it is stalking the rest of the group from behind. With your Triumph, you have the ability to act before this thing attacks any of your friends.

Cameron: Yes, please. I would like to dice up this octopus.

Nick: Okay.

Cameron: So very quietly remove my sword off of my shoulders and creep up behind it as it creeps up behind my friends and slam it on top of the head with a sword blade.

Nick: Okay, roll me a Melee attack. This is going to be an upgraded difficulty because of the size of your sword compared to the narrowness of the passage, so it's going to be one red and one purple instead of two purple. But you do have a blue die because this thing has no idea that you're there.

Cameron: Cool. And then I'm also going to take a blue die for Quick Strike because it has not gone yet in combat.

Nick: Of course. [sounds disappointed]

Cameron: So I am rolling two yellow, a green, two blue, a red, and a purple.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: Four successes.

Nick: How much damage?

Cameron: So I got 4 successes, my sword does plus 4 damage, and I have 3 Brawn, so 11 and it is Pierce 1.

Nick: Okay. These octopus, especially if you are fighting it straight up, have some pretty interesting defensive skills, because they fight with the Drain Boys all the time, but this one's not paying attention to you, so it doesn't have any of those defenses. So you kill this octopus. How do you dissect it to protect your friends?

Cameron: Emma just swings her sword downward, trying to hit center of octopus mass, so kind of bisects it, but in doing so, also catches the one tentacle that was reaching out towards the back of Marathon's ankle, and it falls limply to the ground and then wiggles a little bit, because octopuses do that.

Nick: Yeah, the parts of the octopus continue to move independently for a worrying time, but this thing is no longer a threat, which is good. Emma, as you look around quickly, you do not see any more silhouettes that would say there was more than just this one. The rest of the Patina, you just hear a wet slurping noise and then and then a flapping sound that sort of sounds like an egg frying on a skillet and if you turn around, Emma is holding her sword above two twitching parts of an octopus.

Penn (as Marathon): Dah shit ah oh! God, whoa. Uh~, thanks, Emma.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Good catch.

Penn (as Marathon): Oh my gosh.

Cameron (as Emma): I found an octopus.

Kit (as Birdie): Oh. Ah~. Good job, Emma. That was awesome.

Cameron (as Emma): It fell from the ceiling. That was gross.

Penn (as Marathon): Fr-eaky.

Kit (as Birdie): [shuddering noises] Oh it's a big one.

Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.

Penn (as Marathon): Gosh. I only saw the ones in the aquarium.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah it's different to have it be on land. Well - in a tunnel with us.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.

Sydney (as Cassidy): In air.

Cameron (as Emma): Mhm. They are - they are far more graceful in the water, I will say that. Um anyway - watch out folks, there's octopuses.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, do we need to worry about like, half an octopus summoning more octopuses?

Kit (as Birdie): Um. Yeah, probably. I think we should just try and leave soon. Sooner than later, please. It's like a swarm tactic thing or something like that.

Penn (as Marathon): Oh god. Octopus swarm?

Cameron (as Emma): Yep well.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Great~. [false]

Cameron (as Emma): Let's just keep moving. Other people might want to remove some weapon of some sort.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.

Sydney: Cassidy's bow is snatched off the quick release harness on her bag and appears in her hands.

Penn (as Marathon): [quietly] Dirt. Dirt. Dirt.

Cameron (as Emma): Marathon get ready to punch some octopuses.

Penn (as Marathon): [bit shaky] Yeah. The knuckles are coming out of my sleeves.

Penn: Marathon lets them slip out.

Nick: So you all hurry on from this potentially upsetting situation, none the worse for wear, which is pretty good. Emma, you were even able to take this down without creating an undue amount of noise, which is absolutely a good thing. You all realize as you continue these winding paths all start to look very similar, and you're not so turned around that you couldn't find your way back, but as you continue for 10-15 minutes through these winding tunnels and shimmying through tight gaps in the pipes, you realize more and more that your odds of finding the path shown by this map are shrinking the further you go. You know generally that you need to continue further down. You know generally that this circuit key is somewhere on the outside bulkhead of the city. So you do have a directional heading, but the safe path that the map promised is pretty much out the window at this stage. What order are you all walking in as you continue further down this tunnel?

Cameron: Emma is in the back.

Kit: Birdie is probably leading.

Sydney: Cassidy is probably second.

Penn: That puts Marathon in third.

Nick: Okay. Birdie, please make me a hard Coordination check with a blue die.

Kit: So that is two yellow, two green, three purple, and one blue. A success and an advantage.

Nick: Nice. Cassidy, please make me a hard Coordination check with one blue die.

Sydney: So that's two yellows and three greens against the three purples and one blue.

[dice rolling]

Sydney: Four successes and a threat.

Nick: Great. So so far, Birdie you've continued down what appears to be one of the most solid tunnels you have found so far. Most of the time in this liminal space, at least the floor or one of the walls or ceiling has been made out of closely packed pipes. This is the first spot that you all have come to where the floor, ceiling, and walls all appear to be solid, welded steel. Birdie, you are walking along very light footed, continuing down this way and everything seems to be normal. Cassidy directly behind Birdie, you are following in her footsteps. Would it be intentional or coincidental that in this situation Cassidy is putting her feet in the same place as Birdie was putting her feet?

Sydney: Coincidental, but in a she's naturally matching Birdie's cadence, and so it ends up being she's walking in beat with Birdie and so her feet go about the same distance anyway, because she's not trying to pass.

Nick: Okay, so those two are continuing on. Marathon - can you make me a hard Coordination check with a black die please?

Penn: Yes. Two yellow and two green versus three purple and a black die.

[dice rolling]

Penn: Two failures.

Nick: [laughs in DM] So Marathon, you are following behind Birdie and Cassidy, and as you are walking down this path, you are finding yourself more comfortable because the floor is more solid than you have seen pretty much this whole time in this very strange environment, and you were just thinking that as when you step, there is a sudden unevenness in the floor as a panel of the floor sinks below one foot and one side of this tunnel collapses in towards you at a extremely fast pace. And Emma ahead of you, you see what appears to be a massive engine piston fire out of a seamless portion of the wall and looking like it is about to crush Marathon against the wall, and I am going to need a Resilience check at daunting difficulty with a black die from you, Marathon, in an attempt to just brute strength your way around not getting crushed.

Penn: Okay, I'm rolling four green versus four purple and a black. I will upgrade one of my green dice to a yellow dice with a Story Point.

[dice rolling]

Penn: One failure, one threat.

Nick: Oh, Marathon. Okay, so you're going to take 12 damage as you are crushed against the wall by this firing engine piston that you seem to have activated, minus your soak, so it's 7 and because of how sudden this was, and the fact that you're not able to protect yourself, you are also going to receive a Critical Injury. So if we could roll on the Crit Chart, please.

Penn: Well, I actually, as a Laborer sub class, I actually have an ability called Tough As Nails: once per session, your character may spend a Story Point immediately after suffering critical injury, and I can count the result as a 1.

Nick: Oh, good.

Cameron: A 1 is a Minor Nick: the target suffers 1 Strain.

Nick: Okay, well, it goes about as well as it can. So describe what the others would see as Marathon takes this hit, but somehow manages to mitigate the worst of the damage to keep from being injured.

Penn: She takes a step, sees something coming immediately, in her periphery, begins saying,

Penn (as Marathon): Dir-!

Penn: And before she can finish dirt, she's just slammed up against the wall as this piston is starting to carry her against the wall, and in the split second reaction she has, she takes the momentum of being hit and rolls off of the piston back towards Emma. She rolls right off of it like she was just tackled and lands hard into the wall, bouncing off and then onto the ground. And she doesn't stir for a moment.

Nick: So Birdie and Cassidy, you hear a mechanical whoosh and a loud bang and Marathon start to curse and then be cut off. And Emma, you see this all happen.

Cameron: Emma, quickly but cautiously, takes steps towards where Marathon has fallen, because apparently the walls can move and crush you now, so there's that concern added, but very much wants to get to Marathon and check on her.

Kit (as Birdie): Ooh~.

Sydney: Cassidy whirls and takes half a step and then realizes that there's something suspicious in this hallway and freezes.

Sydney (as Cassidy): What happened?

Cameron: Emma, once she reaches Marathon and has squatted down next to her and put a hand on her, looks up towards Cassidy and Birdie, and says,

Cameron (as Emma): So watch where you step, because apparently the walls can move.

Penn (as Marathon): [groan]

Cameron (as Emma): Uh hey. Hey are you okay? How's it going?

Kit (as Birdie): What is it with you and getting smushed up against walls, Marathon?

Penn (as Marathon): I just, I love wall. I just, I love walls so much, Birdie.

Penn: And Marathon has slowly shifted into a fetal position.

Kit (as Birdie): Oh!

Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping] Hey, hey hey hey -

Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] I'm sorry, Marathon. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Cameron (as Emma): Marathon?

Penn (as Marathon): Nah it's a good time for a joke. [groan] Dirt.

Cameron (as Emma): Marathon? How many, how many fingers am I holding up?

Penn (as Marathon): I don't want to open my eyes just yet. Can you give me that? [soft grunt]

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah~. [considerate but worried]

Sydney: Cassidy is looking at the ground, seeing the Marathon is at least up and talking, looking looking at the ground trying to find where the seams or whatever in the ground are that indicate whatever hit Marathon.

Penn (as Marathon): Fuck.

Penn: And Marathon spits a little blood.

Penn (as Marathon): I'm gonna - [pained noise]

Penn: She starts to slowly uncurl, still keeping her eyes closed, and puts both her palms on the ground and starts to push herself up onto her knees.

Penn (as Marathon): I'm up! [pushing through pain sigh] I'm gonna be all right. Oof. It's just a - just a fresh one. Whoof.

Cameron: Emma says more quietly so that is more just to Marathon since they're right next to each other.

Cameron (as Emma): Okay, so I did see you get smushed, so I am gonna need you to open your eyes and tell me how many fingers I'm holding up because you had a concussion earlier this week.

Penn (as Marathon): Oh, shit. Okay.

Cameron (as Emma): So it's cool if you want to pretend like you're okay.

Penn (as Marathon): I'm not excited to open my eyes, but I will.

Cameron (as Emma): You can you can do it quick, I just need you to tell me the number.

Penn: Marathon opens her eyes, closes them.

Penn (as Marathon): Uh, two?

Cameron (as Emma): Uh~ was that a guess?

Penn: Marathon opens her eyes pointedly, opens them very wide, and you can see her hunch a little bit more.

Penn (as Marathon): [focused exhale] I see three fingers.

Penn: And then closes her eyes.

Cameron (as Emma): Cool, because that's how many it is.

Penn (as Marathon): Okay.

Cameron (as Emma): All right.

Penn (as Marathon): Emma, can you help me up real quick?

Cameron (as Emma): Uh not real quick, but we can go slowly.

Penn (as Marathon): [groan]

Cameron: Emma hooks one of Marathon's arms over her shoulder and helps lever her back up to upright.

Penn (as Marathon): [winded] I think I remember the hit this time. It was more of a body shot, shoulder shot than anything.

Kit (as Birdie): [freaking out a bit] I'm really sorry, Marathon.

Penn (as Marathon): No, it's okay. There's traps. That's cool.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. I just feel like you tend to get hurt when I'm around.

Penn (as Marathon): I get hurt when everybody's around.

Penn: Marathon gives a cheesy smile with her eyes still closed.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Marathon on a scale from 1 to 10, how hurt are you?

Penn (as Marathon): Um 2 ready for this adventure to continue.

Sydney (as Cassidy): No joke, Marathon.

Cameron (as Emma): I do not believe she is concussed again.

Penn (as Marathon): I'm not con-

Kit (as Birdie): Miss Cassidy is being serious, Marathon.

Penn: Marathon opens her eyes wide again.

Penn (as Marathon): I'm going to be fine, Miss Cassidy. If you want an honest answer,

Sydney (as Cassidy): [overlapping] Give me a number, Marathon.

Penn (as Marathon): - it hurts at about 7 out of 10, maybe 8 and a half. But I'm just out of practice from oof -

Penn: And she tries to stretch her back before regretting it.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, let's not... do that.

Penn (as Marathon): Ah, I'm a little out of practice from taking hits.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, let's figure out what is in this room then and then we can figure out if we want to keep going. I don't - if you're hurt, we can just turn around.

Penn (as Marathon): How're my bones?

Penn: She takes a moment.

Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, all my bones are set still, so

Kit (as Birdie): Well that's good. I'd hate to have -

Cameron (as Emma): Ooh uh -

Kit (as Birdie): - to bring it back to Tawny Fowler.

Cameron (as Emma): Clarification: set or unbroken? Those are two different things.

Penn (as Marathon): Look, if you want me to be completely honest, I likely have a bruised rib, maybe, but I should be all right. It's just gonna hurt to breathe. And you know what? If Tawny Fowler has more of that medication, we can stop right over there right after this. That sounds amazing, but right now, I think what's gonna help me is let's focus and finish this god damn sewer crawl.

Kit (as Birdie): [soft laugh] Okay.

Penn (as Marathon): Cassidy, where's the traps?

Penn: And she spits more blood, but this time more like tobacco.

Kit (as Birdie): Ooo~.

Kit: Birdie will approach, hesitantly trying to follow the path that she was following without stepping directly on top of Cassidy, and will do a sort of pressing around on Marathon's rib cage, not too harshly.

Penn (as Marathon): [yelled] Shit! Fuck!

Kit (as Birdie): Oh my god! Don't - okay.

Penn (as Marathon): I'm good. I'm good.

Kit (as Birdie): I'm trying to check if it's bruised or not. I'm trying to check if it's broken.

Cameron (as Emma): You didn't - you didn't break any ribs when you fell off a building, did you? Just the shoulder and the concussion?

Penn (as Marathon): You know, probably.

Kit (as Birdie): You were supposed to be - you were supposed to just -

Penn (as Marathon): Here - is lifting up -?

Penn: And Marathon starts to lift up her shirt a little bit.

Penn (as Marathon): Is it? Is this-? You need? I'm

Cameron (as Emma): Not helping. Not helping.

Penn (as Marathon): No? Okay.

Kit (as Birdie): It's fine. Okay, here.

Penn (as Marathon): Got to flash my abs though.

Cameron (as Emma): There's skin in the way, anyway.

Sydney: While they've been talking, Cassidy has not moved, and is studying the floor to make sure she knows what's going on before she starts walking over.

Nick: The floor appears to be welded panels. Before, when you were walking across, they appeared to be one solid piece. Now that you are looking more carefully at specifically where Marathon stepped, you can see what in a car engine would basically be the arm of a piston makes up some of this floor as a flat metal piece. Presumably, when Marathon stepped on it, it caused some sort of spring action to go through the floor into the wall where that other piston was. So it's not like this passage was designed as a trap. It is more like this passage was designed as a piece of a giant motor, and this particular piece responds to pressure, but you now know where to not step and get squished.

Sydney: Cassidy heads over to join the rest of the group, carefully walking around the pressure plates. All of her good cheer is gone in seeing one of her teammates hurt and she has a deep frown.

Kit: Birdie has finished her little exam and will take a step back.

Kit (as Birdie): I'm 75 to 80% confident that there are no broken ribs.

Penn (as Marathon): Thank you. I appreciate your medical advice.

Kit (as Birdie): I'm actually pretty good at doctor stuff, okay? I'm not like professional, but

Penn (as Marathon): I know, I know. I trust you. Sorry. I'm just - I'm just a little pissy because I got hurt. But

Cameron (as Emma): Do you -

Kit (as Birdie): It's fine.

Cameron (as Emma): - happen to have any pain killers on you, Birdie?

Kit (as Birdie): Um~

Nick: Yeah, I would say the solution for this would be roll an easy Medicine check, please, to determine if you are able to treat Marathon or not.

Kit: Okay, that's gonna be two green and one purple. Three successes and one threat.

Nick: So mechanically, that means, with your Surgeon talent, Marathon heals 5 Wounds back. She doesn't get any Strain back, so she's still down a Strain, but yeah. Birdie, how do you help Marathon to mostly recover from this crushing injury?

Kit: So Birdie will pull out a little kit that she has brought along with her and takes out some gauze and some generic pain relief capsules that Birdie squirreled away from the Patches when her and Marathon were their last.

Penn (as Marathon): Oh, you got, you got more?

Kit (as Birdie): Um, yeah. I mean, they were kind of just like handing out little packets of them and so I got, like, two or three or six or seven.

Penn (as Marathon): Oh, sick. I was, I mean, my body's been hungry for them a little bit, I will be completely honest.

Kit (as Birdie): That's a little worrying. Um, anyways, so just put, put the gauze where it's bleeding in your mouth, so that you don't have to constantly spit out blood because it's a little grody.

Penn (as Marathon): I thought that was kinda cool, but okay.

Kit (as Birdie): Well, I mean, it's not going to be pleasant when you're still bleeding in like an hour.

Penn (as Marathon): [gauze in mouth] Okay, now I got the gauze in my mouth.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, let's not try to get hurt, because it's gonna be cool Marathon.

Penn (as Marathon): [gauze in mouth] I'm not trying to get - sorry. [readjusts gauze] I'm not trying to get hurt, Miss Cassidy. It just happened.

Kit (as Birdie): Okay. And just -

Penn (as Marathon): [gauze in mouth] I understand that I get hurt a lot. I think it's because I'm new to the job or something. Okay, you know?

Kit (as Birdie): Let's, let's just do -

Penn (as Marathon): [gauze in mouth] Sorry. I'm a little hurt, so I'm a little frustrated. I'm sorry if I'm snapping at you.

Sydney (as Cassidy): It's fine.

Penn (as Marathon): [gauze in mouth] Let's just keep moving, okay?

Kit (as Birdie): [this may be the start of Birdie's villain arc laugh] Let's yes. So take the two capsules when you can. You can take them dry.

Penn (as Marathon): Don't worry, I've got lots of experience with that.

Nick: So after you are able to help Marathon recover a little bit and are now being much more careful of the floors, you are able to get out of this hallway and significantly farther into the Guts with no more issue. Each time you turn a corner, you think that this part of the city couldn't possibly get any more humid without you having to go swimming and each time you turn the next corner, you are surprised to find that you were wrong. You eventually come to a large open space. A surprising lack of obstacles in a wide room, leads to a another corridor with an electrical pylon that is glowing with a faint blue charge. Birdie, you are relieved to see this pylon because it is one of the major landmarks on the map. You are getting close to your objective and this is the first point where you realize you have re-found the trail that you lost early on.

The next thing that you all see is that this large open room, this mechanical cave, is not the texture you would expect inside a metal city. The floor, walls and ceiling is covered in some sort of shining slime in this blue reflected light. And as you look closer and you start to make your way into this room, you see that there are large knobs of some sort of mucus. They look like egg sacs on the floor, in clusters on the wall, and hanging from the ceilings - to the point where you're having to carefully pick your way into this room and towards the pylon and the location of your goal. Unfortunately, maybe it was the amount of noise that you've made on your way down here, maybe it was the smell of the dead octopus clinging to you, but one of these mucus sacks tears open on the ground in front of you and piling out of it like a flower blooming in fast motion, is another large octopus. It stares at you for a second as it gets its tentacles under it. None of you knew that octopuses could shriek, but this one does, and then you hear the tearing sound of these sacks all around you beginning to open, and the room fills with the sound of moving tentacles.

[hurdy gurdy music swells]

Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.

This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:

Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.

Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.

Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.

Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.

And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.

This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.

The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.

You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.

Until you tune back…

…stay bold and stay kind