The Patina reunites and figures out their next steps during the Battle of Sasnak Traveling.
The Patina reunites and figures out their next steps during the Battle of Sasnak Traveling.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- 12120 collapsing building.wav by Robinhood76. Link & License.
- Tramontana by Julia Kent. Link & License.
- Glueworm Evening Blues (ID 994) by Lobo Loco. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
- Our Website
- Twitter
- Join our Patreon
- Join our Discord
A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 47: Walking Into a Kill Zone
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
Fun fact: listeners of this podcast are significantly more likely to be fans of RPG actual play podcasts than the average world denizen. Even more fun fact: they’re also statistically cooler than the average world denizen. Our non-peer-reviewed informal study confirms it. And hey, if you agree, then now it is peer-reviewed.
If you first need a bigger sample size of podcast to listen to, consider backing our Patreon, which gives you access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards. If, instead, you need a bigger sample size of listeners, tell your friends to tune in!
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 47: Walking Into a Kill Zone. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Sydney (as Cassidy): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, the city of Sasnak Travelling stopped. Which, I may point out, is already disastrous and is probably worse than that, considering all the bands of mercenaries looting and pillaging, and watching things in the city that keep breaking in the meantime. Marathon and I stopped one squad, and saved one person, but based on the sounds of fighting and gunshots in the distance, it's past what we as the Patina are going to be able to fix. At most we could go wander around and hope we can stumble across more people in need? At least the two of us are back at the shipping container and re-arming ourselves behind the protective perimeter of Nona and her battle grandmas. Hopefully Birdie and Emma will get back here quickly and also intact, and we can come up with something that's a little more effective than a random walk through the city. Maybe we should pay our dear councilor Opal a visit for some clarity on the situation...
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: The city of Sasnak continues its chaotic time as it stays, for the first time in living memory, stationary out on the plains. The lack of movement is accentuated by the tumult on the city platform itself, as the citizenry riots and mercenaries invade. Violence and damage are everywhere as pieces of the city fall having been destabilized and potentially the city itself may fall having been metaphorically destabilized. We see Emma and Birdie working their way through the chaos and up towards the Stacks in an attempt to reunite with Marathon and Cassidy.
Cameron (as Emma): I'm just about ready to change out of this outfit.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, I don't blame you. I'm not wearing a shirt underneath this jacket. I think I flashed like, 10 people.
Cameron (as Emma): Are you really not? Did you just, like, tape it?
Kit (as Birdie): No, I didn't even tape it. We were supposed to be standing still on a float, Emma.
Cameron (as Emma): I mean, but you were like, waving and throwing stuff on the float.
Kit (as Birdie): There's not much there, okay? The jacket did most of the work!
Cameron (as Emma): There's not much there where? [take a look at character art on the website to see why this is funny]
Kit (as Birdie): Okay! We're not having a conversation - why don't we have a conversation about your guy friend who's like, goo-goo eyes over you?
Cameron (as Emma): Eh.
Kit (as Birdie): Uheh? Uheh?!
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah 'eh'. I'm not disputing it. I just don't, I don't got nothing to say.
Kit (as Birdie): Huh, yeah. I mean, I mean, I get you don't, like, have to have, like, an opinion one way or another. I guess it was just kind of like, he's like, so into you.
Cameron (as Emma): Yep. And I have done my best not to encourage that.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, okay.
Cameron (as Emma): But there's only, there's only so much one can do when they're determined.
Kit (as Birdie): I don't think - I don't know it has - I don't know if he's picked up that you're not interested.
Cameron (as Emma): I really hope he has.
Kit (as Birdie): I mean, maybe he's, he's, but I don't know. I don't know he's very knight in shining armor. He's really not like kind of the type of person I go for, typically. I have a harder time reading, reading people who are genuine?
Cameron (as Emma): [shocked laugh] Birdie! [laughing]
Kit (as Birdie): What?
Cameron (as Emma): I I - nothing. [laughing] That's just, that that's just so, so honest. [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): I don't know. Let's not talk about this. Anyways, my boobs! [back to previous conversation]
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, I don't really need a knight in shining armor. I I've got my own armor and a sword.
Kit (as Birdie): No, I don't think you need one. I just was kind of surprised at how he, like, really, like, he was kind of tripping over himself. I was like, oh god.
Cameron (as Emma): He is very fairy tale, and he's very sweet, and I enjoy being his friend very much.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah~.
Cameron: Emma gives the winning smile.
Nick: I need both of you to make me a hard Perception check please, as you continue up through the Stacks.
Cameron: Since we're next to each other, we give each other two blue dice a piece because we're our Heightened Awareness.
Kit: Birdie is rolling two yellow, one green, two blue, and three purple.
Cameron: Emma is rolling the exact same dice pools that Birdie did.
[dice rolling]
Kit: Two successes, an advantage.
Cameron (as Emma): One success, one advantage.
Nick: Nice. Those advantages will keep you out of the line of fire as you both realize that the alley you were walking along, as you make it up into the Stacks, there is a smear of blood on the ground, as though somebody has been shot and then dragged away. And you notice a bullet hole in the wall opposite, and it occurs to you both that you may be walking into a kill zone.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, well, that's not reassuring.
Cameron (as Emma): [calling out] Hello~?
Kit (as Birdie): Why would you do that?!
Cameron (as Emma): Because we've been talking and laughing the whole way here, so they have obviously heard us already, and they can't - we're still around the corner, so it might as well see who's there.
Kit: Birdie and Emma hear a shotgun being racked once, and a very familiar and warbling voice going,
Kit (as Nona): Come out with your hands up.
Cameron (as Emma): See it's Nona.
Kit: And Birdie goes,
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, okay, that's fair. Yeah yeah yeah. Phew okay. Nona~!
Kit: Birdie will come out with her hands up and say,
Kit (as Birdie): It's just us.
Nick (as Eleanor): Shoot her.
Kit (as Nona): No, that's Birdie.
Cameron: Emma follows with her hands up.
Kit (as Nona): Oh, thank goodness. Okay, everybody, relax. We know these two as well.
Nick (as Eleanor): Aww.
Kit (as Birdie): I know. I'm sorry, guys, I know. I'm hoping you've been having fun. [whisper] They're reliving the glory days, Emma, don't worry. It's okay.
Cameron (as Emma): [whisper] I sensed that actually, that this is, this is strong girl band vibes.
Nick (as Eleanor): What's even the point if we know everyone up here?
Kit: Nona makes a little waving gesture to shake off the disappointment of the others, and she will come down a little bit to meet Birdie and Emma and give them both absolutely bone crushing hugs.
Cameron (as Emma): Oof.
Kit (as Birdie): [very squished sounding] Okay thank you Nona. Big hug.
Kit (as Nona): I was so worried about you two. I made brownies. They're upstairs.
Cameron (as Emma): [catching breath] Did Marathon and Cassidy make it back? [clears throat]
Kit (as Nona): Oh yeah, they beat ya.
Cameron (as Emma): All right, cool.
Kit (as Nona): They're upstairs, hopefully not finishing up the brownies, though I have more in the oven. You know me.
Kit: And she'll kind of wander off back to take her place at her watch post.
Cameron: Emma does a slight bow towards the next set of stairs slash ladders up here to indicate that Birdie proceed ahead of her.
Kit: Birdie will absolutely take that chance to do so, and is obviously just immensely relieved. And Emma can tell from a physical standpoint that her shoulders have dropped about three inches once she saw that the shipping container and Nona and their friends were all safe and that she sees that most, if not all, of the group of elderly women that she grew up around have all made it here safe.
Nick: As the two of you continue up the stairs, heading towards the shipping container, you see a table with two more gun grannies set up, elderly women set up on a table playing checkers. And you actually see a chair has been pulled up, and Vaus is there, watching the game very closely. And they give you a wave as you are walking by.
Nick (as Frederica): Vaus, you're talking too much. I'm trying to concentrate on the game. So talkative.
Kit: Birdie and Emma will see Vaus chuckle and lean back and go,
Kit (as Vaus): I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know how I could go on with you two.
Nick (as Frederica): We always love your conversation. But you know, sometimes you should let someone else talk.
Kit (as Vaus): I know I'm really bad about it.
Cameron: Emma just looks towards Birdie with the widest of eyes, just silently.
Nick: One of the women goes to lay a reassuring hand on Vaus' shoulder, and it takes a couple of close pats before they manage it. And you realize one of the checkered players is blind. She's got those really big black sunglasses on that cover two thirds of her face, too.
Cameron: Emma's eyes reduce back to normal size, and she nods like all makes sense in the world again.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Yeah, that's Frederica and Emily, not Emma. They've been checker partners for years, and Vaus goes and sits with them.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] That's so cute.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Yeah, yeah, they're they're good friends.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] I hope we get to play checkers together when we're old ladies, Birdie.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] I know! That would be awesome.
Kit: The funniest part of the game is the fact that it is two low vision checkers players trying to play a game that relies on sight. But Birdie will call over and go,
Kit (as Birdie): Hey, Vaus, who's winning?
Kit: And Vaus will roll their eyes at Birdie, because they know that it's a ploy to make them talk to her. And both of them watch Vaus sign something at Birdie that resembles a finger spelled name, and then a fuck off sign. And Vaus then turns to Frederica and goes,
Kit (as Vaus): You really - are you sure about that one? I don't, I'm not -
Nick (as Frederica): Shut up~!
Kit (as Vaus): I'm sorry. Okay.
Nick (as Frederica): Let her make the mistake.
Kit (as Vaus): Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got I can't play favorites. I'm sorry.
Nick: Emily slides the checker back really quick and goes,
Nick (as Emily): Whew.
Nick: And off of this surprisingly relaxed scene, considering the disasters going on everywhere else in the city, Emma and Birdie, you climb your way up to the shipping container to find Marathon and Cassidy as they wait for you.
Penn: We're gearing up, right? We're putting back packs together for Emma and Birdie.
Sydney: Yeah, Marathon is sitting by Birdie and Emma's packs, and Cassidy is sitting by hers and Marathon's pack, and Cassidy is counting bullets, making sure she knows how many shots she has for her rifle that's leaned up against the couch next to her.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, shit. I almost forgot Birdie's chapstick, but I think I got Emma's packed.
Kit: A looming shadow crosses Marathon's vision, and Cassidy and Marathon, hear Birdie's voice and octave lower go,
Kit (as Birdie): What are you doing to my backpack?
Penn (as Marathon): Oh um [clears throat]. Hey, Birdie. Um, I was just packing it for you. We didn't know if you're gonna be - you were gonna be coming. Wow, did you get taller?
Kit (as Birdie): [slight overlap] Okay can I have my backpack?
Sydney (as Cassidy): [slight overlap] Congrats on not dying.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. Oh thank you. Yeah, ha ha ha. All right. [stressed laugh] Yeah, thanks. [more stressed laughing] Where are the brownies?
Penn (as Marathon): Um~.
Sydney: Cassidy points to a plate on the table that is several brownies lower than it was when they left.
Penn (as Marathon): Uh there's some left.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Penn: Marathon wipes her mouth to remove a small piece of brownie from the corner of her lips.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. Emma was a badass. Emma, tell them how cool you were.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, hell yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): Um. Well um, killed a lot of people today.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh shit.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah...
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah it's one of those days.
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm...
Kit (as Birdie): Where you don't want to wake up.
Cameron (as Emma): It was all the name of saving people, though. So~
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): I'm choosing to be fine with it.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, that really sucks. Um, but you know, I packed the stuff. Do y'all need a little chance to catch your breath before we go back out there?
Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] I think we need to change.
Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping] Can I put real clothes on?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah put real clothes on.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah. Oh yeah~.
Cameron (as Emma): And -
Penn (as Marathon): Good idea!
Cameron (as Emma): - armor. Yeah.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah. Cassidy and I were able to do that too. Oh my gosh I had to leave my heels behind. I hope nobody picks them up.
Kit (as Birdie): Wait like -
Sydney (as Cassidy): You're gonna go back and get them?
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, later! They were nice.
Kit (as Birdie): You walked here barefoot?
Penn (as Marathon): Uh, yeah. What was I supposed to walk on my heels?
Cameron (as Emma): Are your feet, like, cut up?
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, I have pretty tough feet.
Cameron (as Emma): Walking on your heels is still and without shoes on is still walking barefoot. [laugh] It's just less of your foot touching the ground.
Penn (as Marathon): Look, I avoided any glass or nails, so I'm fine. They were just a little dirty.
Kit (as Birdie): That's really inadvisable Marathon. [laugh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well it's better than, like, twisting and breaking your ankle and then have then having to walk barefoot on a bad ankle.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, exactly. You're so intelligent Cassidy.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh my goodness.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well that's why I didn't stop you. All right, get changed. I think after this we're probably gonna go raid Opal's headquarters, because, I guess she ordered a hit on the whole city.
Kit (as Birdie): Uh
Cameron (as Emma): Oh.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, hold on, I'm gonna go change.
Kit: And Birdie stuffs one and a half brownies in her mouth and then walks away to go and change really fast.
Cameron (as Emma): I'll say this real quick before I go toss normal clothes on - we did see them fighting against the infiltrators? The -
Sydney (as Cassidy): What, Opal's people?
Cameron (as Emma): - bad guys? Yeah, the Opal's security forces in black. They were fighting alongside the Sasnak people against the randos.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Hmm.
Kit (as Birdie): [around a mouthful of brownie] That's what I was gonna say. [maybe - transcriber's best guess]
Kit: Birdie says through a mouthful of brownie.
Cameron (as Emma): I have no idea what she just tried to say.
Kit (as Birdie): [around a mouthful of brownie but trying to speak clearer] That's what I was going to say. [again, best guess]
Sydney (as Cassidy): I think it was something about [elephant noises].
Cameron (as Emma): Oh, that's what she was saying, maybe.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay, well.
Penn: Marathon rolls up the sleeves on her adventurer green button up and puts her hands on the table as she stands up.
Penn (as Marathon): What kind of last minute preps do we need to do before getting in there? I'm ready to punch.
Cameron (as Emma): Uh Cassidy can you unzip me?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yes.
Cameron (as Emma): Please~.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Do you need me to help you get out of it, too, or just the zipper?
Cameron (as Emma): I can get out of it. I just -
Sydney: Cassidy gives the turnaround gesture.
Cameron (as Emma): - even though I think I could technically reach the zipper, I think it would be bad for my shoulders if I tried.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Fair enough, we need those in good shape if you're sword swinging.
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.
Sydney: Cassidy unzips Emma and steps back.
Cameron (as Emma): Thank you~.
Cameron: Emma jogs into the room she's sharing with Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Luckily I can reach both my hands behind my back.
Kit: It's at that point when Birdie exits, having changed and finished both of her brownies in record time, and she's just pulling up the zipper on her tactical vest that she normally wears for when they're out doing jobs as the Patina. And she'll go,
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, um, did any, did y'all run into the Opal Corp weird thing, where there were -
Sydney (as Cassidy): We just saw bandits looting.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah we got rid of some bandits.
Kit (as Birdie): Hmm, okay.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean not people from the city, like,
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - thoroughly, you know, just breaking stuff for giggles, I guess, threatening violence on civilians.
Penn (as Marathon): I didn't kill anybody, though.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, yeah, no, I just,
Sydney (as Cassidy): But yeah we didn't see any more Opal guards past the ones at the parade.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, it was really, I don't know. I don't, I don't know what's going on, enough to say one way or another, but maybe they were just Opal Corp soldiers that went rogue or something.
Cameron (as Emma): [from other room] They were with Rye!
Kit (as Birdie): Oh yes, they were with Rye ones.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Which ones? The ones down on the parade?
Penn (as Marathon): Your prince is evil now too?
Cameron (as Emma): [from other room] No!
Kit (as Birdie): No he was being he was he was good. He was a good dude.
Sydney (as Cassidy): So the ones that you found?
Cameron: Yeah, Emma sticks her head out of the bedroom.
Cameron (as Emma): No, I'm saying yeah, the ones who were fighting alongside the Sasnak peoples's were with Rye.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh~.
Cameron: And she ducked back into the room.
Sydney (as Cassidy): So I guess then we're back to not having a clear action to take if it's not Opal trying to take over the whole city.
Penn (as Marathon): We could just smash bandits, be heroes.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, we can sit here and defend but I think Nona and crew have this neighborhood covered, and I don't really - I think running around in the streets just trying to randomly rescue people is not a like it's gonna just get us killed too.
Kit (as Birdie): No, I, I agree. I I just it's unexpected, I guess.
Cameron (as Emma): [from other room] Have we heard from any of the Foundlings?
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, yeah, have we? Have, have you guys while you've been here?
Cameron (as Emma): [from other room] Cause the city stopped.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, that's why I'm feeling a little nauseous.
Sydney: Cassidy looks around and doesn't see any notes or anything, but sees Emma's tablet laying on the table.
Sydney (as Cassidy): What's the password to your tablet?
Cameron (as Emma): [from other room] Your birthday.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, that's cute.
Kit (as Birdie): Aww~.
Sydney: Cassidy puts in 0322 and the screen unlocks.
Sydney (as Cassidy): There's a message from Winifred.
Kit (as Birdie): There is?
Cameron (as Emma): [from other room] Open it up!
Sydney: And Cassidy hits play.
Sydney (as Winifred): [recording through speakers] Patina. I'm sure you've noticed the city stopped. I'm gonna try and get it started again. I'm headed down to the city core. You also need to be headed down to the city core and I sure hope you have the trophy, because we're gonna need it. Juno will be waiting for you outside of the Drain Boys HQ - it's the fastest way down that doesn't go directly through very highly fortified, protected, councilor controlled areas. It'll be dangerous. See you soon.
Sydney: The playback ends, and Cassidy looks at the group.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay, so Winifred is doing heroics to get the city restarted, I guess.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): And we're being called in.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm.
Cameron (as Emma): [from other room] [sing song] I have the trophy.
Penn (as Marathon): We - I knew we won that trophy for a reason.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. I mean, I if, if we can use it to decode whatever thing is in the Knight, I assume what's also useful for zapping the city back to life, I guess?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Cameron: Emma walks back out of the bedroom dressed in her normal attire of cargo pants, her boots, has re-doned her armor and is zipping up a short sleeve jacket type thing over the armor as she gives Marathon a what face and slowly lowers the chainsaw case to the ground.
Cameron (as Emma): Yes, Marathon, there's a reason that we won the trophy!
Penn (as Marathon): No I - and now I'm more aware of the reason.
Cameron (as Emma): [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): Good, okay, well, I'm glad that. I'm glad that Marathon's aware. I didn't really whatever. Okay, okay,
Cameron (as Emma): Okay your chainsaw is on your bunk.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, thank god.
Cameron (as Emma): I'm gonna keep the trophy in the case for the time being though for safety and ease of carrying, but
Sydney: Cassidy heads back into her bedroom and comes back out with the revolver strapped her waist again.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay, if we're going back in the Guts, we get small gun too.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay! [uncomfortable fake laughter]
Sydney (as Cassidy): I assume the core is in the Guts.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, yeah.
Penn (as Marathon): I don't like the Guts.
Cameron (as Emma): If we're meeting Juno...
Penn (as Marathon): Oh goddamn it.
Kit (as Birdie): It is. It's in the Guts.
Penn (as Marathon): [sigh] Really?
Cameron (as Emma): I have a small sword now to go with your small gun!
Sydney (as Cassidy): Oh we're so equipped.
Penn (as Marathon): [glum] For the Guts.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, give your packs a once over, eat a snack if you need it. We've got rations. We should hopefully not need them.
Penn (as Marathon): I ate too many brownies.
Cameron: Emma goes and grabs brownies.
Penn (as Marathon): Let me get some jerky or something. Still got that octopus jerky in the cabinet?
Cameron (as Emma): Eugh gross.
Penn (as Marathon): It's what they got here.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah but there's also brownies. We could just eat brownies.
Penn (as Marathon): I already had too many.
Penn: Marathon pats her tummy.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, don't get sick. We're gonna be doing physical activity the whole rest of the day, you know, in the fight for our lives and for the lives of everyone on the city maybe.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, don't worry. I just need to - Cassidy, I burn a lot, a lot of cals, so
Kit (as Birdie): [baby talk] Yeah, we wouldn't want you to get a tummy ache, would we Marathon?
Penn (as Marathon): [mocking] [baby noises with lots of Ws]
[Emma & Birdie giggling]
Nick: Marathon - roll me an easy Resilience check.
Penn: Am I actually rolling four green?
Nick: Yeah, go for it. One purple.
[dice rolling]
Penn: We got two successes.
Nick: You do not, in fact, have a tummy ache at this time. You could probably house a couple more brownies if you really needed to.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, I'll save this octopus jerky for later. I'll take a brownie. Okay, you got me.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, okay, okay.
Penn (as Marathon): Let's do this!
Kit (as Birdie): [long sigh] Okay, back in the Guts.
Kit: And Birdie gives Cassidy a really, really big smile.
Sydney: Cassidy gives a grimly disgusted face back.
Kit (as Birdie): [pained] Oh ~.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, it's our favorite thing. Let's hope this time it's better than last time. It's not like the stakes are high.
Kit (as Birdie): [sad and slow] Ha ha...
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, I guess I'll step up and lead us in the Guts this time, huh?
Cameron (as Emma): I think it's okay. We're gonna have Juno this time, Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): I was just joking.
Kit (as Birdie): [laugh]
Cameron (as Emma): [whisper] I do think, why don't you stick close to Cassidy, though, and I'll stick close to Birdie and that way we fall in a different pairing.
Penn (as Marathon): [whisper] Mmmm. Good call.
Kit (as Birdie): [bit panicked] Don't say that. Don't say anything like that.
Penn (as Marathon): No, you didn't hear anything!
Cameron (as Emma): You didn't hear me say anything, Birdie. I was talking to Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Nah. Nah.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Penn (as Marathon): Eat a brownie.
Cameron (as Emma): It's our secret.
Kit (as Birdie): [mouth full again] Okay.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Don't get sick! Come on.
Penn (as Marathon): Let's do this.
Cameron (as Emma): Y'all this sword feels so much better. My arm was getting sore from the small sword.
Kit (as Birdie): Not heavy enough for those muscles.
Cameron (as Emma): It was just too pathetic. [laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): [muffled] It's good to have shoes again.
Cameron (as Emma): Huh?
Penn (as Marathon): It's good to be wearing shoes again. Especially if we're going to the Guts. Oh, god, wet worm.
Kit (as Birdie): There's no wet worm!
Penn (as Marathon): You never know! You're not vaccinated here.
Cameron (as Emma): I had forgotten. I had I was living blissfully unaware, once again, that that was a thing and you just reminded me!
Penn (as Marathon): If it's anywhere, it's in those Guts.
Cameron (as Emma): Marathon! No~ [laughing] Oh, it's gonna be my recurring nightmare.
Nick: And so the Patina departs from the shipping container, heading back down into the chaos that they had just worked their way free, but this time fully equipped and together. As the Patina works its way back down toward the Drain Boys headquarters, where they're presumably attempting to meet Juno, what is one piece of chaos in the city that strikes each of you as particularly poignant or sad?
Penn: As they exit the shipping container, the Patina can see a large billboard that used to sport a faded old X Bike star has fallen over, breaking through multiple bridges in the Eaves and landing on top of another shipping container that could have been holding who knows who, and it's now warped in.
Sydney: We pass by a shop front that the glass is all broken in, everything of value has been taken from out of the window, and a fire is burning in the back, and then as the Patina gets another building down the street, there's a hydrant popped up that are normally hidden, and it has a hose attached to it, but looks like the hydrant was never engaged, as two different people in red fire response uniforms are down on the street with their valuables also stripped.
Kit: As they get closer and closer to the Drain Boys headquarters and to the Guts, the Patina, as they stick close together, gets a good glimpse of what appears to be a group of eight or nine kids from the ages of 6 to maybe 15-16 in matching Drain Boys uniforms, all holding hands in a chain and sprinting away from the Guts. And you can hear the older ones telling the younger ones to look out for clothes that they can change into. And it's obvious that they're making their escape.
Cameron: Laying on the road amidst large piles of broken glass, you see a close up shot of Marathon's heels as they're being fought over by a couple of birds and a raccoon, and then one of the birds takes flight, holding one of the shoes and flies off.
Nick: As you are making your way towards your supposed rendezvous with Juno, are you prioritizing speed, or are you attempting to stay out of fights? What is your general approach to travel at this time?
Penn: I would think speed because we're trying to fix the city.
Kit: I think speed as well.
Sydney: Yeah, speed, but not at the cost of if we see someone we could help we still stop and help them.
Nick: Okay, you are close to your destination, when, once again, I need you all to roll me a Perception check. This one is daunting, but you get two blues because you're near Emma or Birdie.
Kit: Birdie is rolling two yellows, one green, two blues and four purple.
Cameron: I've got the same dice pool as Birdie.
Sydney: Cassidy is rolling two yellows and a green with two blues against four purples.
Penn: I'm rolling three greens, two blues, versus four purples.
[dice rolling]
Kit: One failure and an advantage.
Cameron: Three successes and a threat.
Sydney: Three successes and an advantage.
Penn: Three failures.
Nick: Ooh, wow that's gonna really suck for you two. So as you were running around the corner, prioritizing speed, Cameron, I need you to roll me four yellows against three purples, please.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: Four successes.
Nick: Oh, shit. Okay, well, it didn't Crit, so that's 14 damage going at Marathon and Birdie as the street is strafed with bullets and Emma and Cassidy had just enough time to stop themselves behind cover, but not to call out as a machine gun nest at the end of this road opens up on you.
Penn: Okay, so I have 5 Soak, so it's 5 off of 14, so 9 Wounds to me.
Kit: So my Soak is 3.
Nick: Mm. So that would be 11 damage.
Kit: I have 12 Wounds.
Nick: Hey, you're alive. You all are welcome to react to this before Initiative starts or whatever, but you walked into an ambush. These mercenaries had set up a kill zone, and they used it on you. Bullets traced up the street. You each were hit a grazing shot, because if it hadn't been grazing, you would be dead right now. You are in a whole lot of pain, and you were probably bleeding pretty proficiently. There is cover scattered around, so you can get to cover, but
Penn (as Marathon): Dirt! Dirt!
Cameron: So as somehow Cassidy and Emma are able to sense oncoming danger and quickly leap behind something as the ground beneath them begins to explode with machine gun fire, as soon as that machine gun fire moves away from Emma in the street, she darts out and runs and, for strength purposes, grabs Marathon and pulls her back into cover. Hooks her arms underneath Marathon's shoulders and pulls her back into the cover that she had found.
Sydney: Cassidy does the shoulder roll into fireman's carry and scoops Birdie up to get her very quickly back into cover into the alley on the other side of the street.
Nick: The machine gun chatters at you. They are pretty far down this street, maybe 60 yards, so that means they're not as accurate as they could be. Bits of this road are chewed up around you. You're able to find cover behind fallen building materials and overturned carts and corners and alleyways along this road. You're able to get to somewhere where the bullets can't hit, but the machine gun periodically takes pot shots at where you were, obviously keeping a bead on this spot.
Penn (as Marathon): Dirt, dirt. Ah, I think, I think it hit, ah, ah how's, how's Birdie?
Sydney: Cassidy had put Birdie down, sitting against the cover that they were hiding behind, and is starting to do a field triage of, okay, how bad is it? Ooh, that's not great.
Kit: So Birdie is reacting as someone who would react when they get shot. Birdie just looks up at Cassidy and she said,
Kit (as Birdie): [subdivided long exhales] Ow.
Kit: And she's helping Cassidy put pressure on this gunshot wound on the meat of her thigh. It has an exit wound. It luckily didn't do as much damage as it could, because it didn't reach the bone, but as long as they can stop the bleeding, it's not serious enough to completely inhibit them from continuing on, but it won't be fun. It certainly won't be fun.
Nick: So what do you all want to do? If you want to just engage in a gunfight or charge them, that's Initiative. If you want to deal with this in a different way, it maybe isn't Initiative, but you should know nobody got a good view of how many people are bundled down in this nest, and it would not be a safe assumption that no one is going to move up at any point. You're on a time limit here, so you can't really just go around, because they are lined up on the main way to get where you're trying to go. So you can't necessarily avoid them, but you might be able to try and flank them inside alleys or something.
Sydney: Cassidy's first instinct would be to get high ground and then start taking down opposition.
Penn: Marathon is holding tight onto her left forearm, and she takes a peek, lifting up a hand, and sees that it's - there's not a hole, in and out wound, just that there's a slightly bloody mess on top starting to spill around. She puts her hand back down and looks to Cassidy,
Penn (as Marathon): Are you firing? Are we climbing? What -
Cameron (as Emma): You're sitting for a second while I wrap that.
Penn (as Marathon): [quietly] Shit.
Cameron: Emma takes her backpack off and starts digging for bandages.
Penn (as Marathon): Fuck. [calling out to others] Birdie are you okay?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Keep holding pressure. I'm gonna climb.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. Mhm.
Sydney: And Cassidy wraps two hands around a sturdy looking pipe on the side of the building nearest and heads up for a better look.
Nick: Make me a hard Athletics check with two black die.
Sydney: Fortunately, Cassidy has a Knack For It for Athletics, so I remove the two black dice, so I'm rolling two yellows and two greens against three purples.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: An advantage.
Nick: Interesting. Why are you not able to climb up there?
Sydney: On the next burst of machine gun fire around where the attackers know that they're hiding, it hits the anchor for the pipe at the top of the building, and the pole comes loose, and Cassidy is forced to slide down and get out of the way of it before it hits her.
Penn (as Marathon): Dirt. Dirt! We're pinned!
Cameron (as Emma): Keep breathing Marathon.
Nick: Emma, can you roll me a Medicine check please? Medicine checks are simple.
Cameron: So for Medicine, I have four greens.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: Three successes, four advantages.
Nick: Well, the advantages would do Strain, but that hasn't happened yet. Three successes is three Wounds repaired as you bandage up this gunshot. So that's pretty good for Marathon. Are you going to also try to bandage Birdie while Cassidy figures out what to do?
Cameron: I am.
Cameron (as Emma): Marathon - can I borrow your skates really quick?
Penn: Marathon gives the most panicked look.
Cameron (as Emma): I just need to,
Penn (as Marathon): Uh~.
Cameron (as Emma): I just need to get to Birdie.
Penn (as Marathon): Uh, yeah, yeah. Please - careful.
Cameron (as Emma): I will. I will return these as I have returned your chainsaw.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, I don't have my chainsaw back.
Cameron (as Emma): It's on your bed. I told you it was on your bed.
Penn: Marathon gives a little frowny face as she slowly takes off her skates, feeling much more vulnerable.
Cameron: Emma removes her boots and puts the skates on.
Penn (as Marathon): Here I am goddamn barefoot again.
Cameron (as Emma): At least you're wearing socks?
Penn: Marathon shakes her head no.
Cameron (as Emma): No? Okay. I will be right back, and I will bring these to you. Okay?
Penn: Marathon nods her head, holding her forearm.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay.
Cameron: Emma is going to dart across to the other cover to get to Birdie.
Nick: Okay, you're on skates. Have you ever used these skates before?
Penn: I don't know. Marathon is very protective of these skates. [laughing] It would have had to have been like you asked and insisted.
Nick: So the machine gun is going to shoot at you. That's going to be four yellows, three purples, because it's hard difficulty. I will give them a black die because you're going fast on these skates.
Cameron: And then they have another two black die from my Defense.
Nick: Yeah. And then are you gonna take a dodge or whatever?
Cameron: All right, I am going to spend a Strain to use my Side Step Talent to upgrade the difficulty on all ranged attacks until the next turn.
Nick: Okay, so that'll be two purples and a red now.
Cameron: Yep.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: Two failures and two advantages.
Nick: Okay, so you managed to not get hit here. I think the advantages are they'll have a blue die the next time they try to shoot because they're getting a feel for the range. But describe how you dodge through machine gun fire to get to your friends.
Cameron: So once Emma has the skates on, she stands up as much as she can behind this cover that they found, and steps back and forth a few times to get a quick sense of the force that's actually happening between her and the ground that she can work with, and then backs up as far as she can and leans down low and takes off at almost a jazz run, just a long stride run. And then when she's about halfway across the road and the machine gun has started firing, she falls into a slide trying to keep as much of her weight on the skates as possible instead of dragging herself across the pavement, but basically trying to be as low a profile as possible for them to hit and ends up probably slightly crashing into the whatever structure and waste is behind the cover that Cassidy and Birdie are using.
Penn: Marathon tucked into cover, looks in awe at first and then cringes at the crash.
Penn (as Marathon): [quietly] Gotta be careful.
Cameron: Immediately, looking at all the holes in Birdie that are newly acquired.
Kit: Birdie is doing her best to press the heels of her hands against the wounds in her leg, and she's gotten so tense about it at this point that her uninjured leg has started to just shake because all of the muscles in her body are so tense, and she's doing breathing exercises, obviously. And seems mostly to be taking this in the way of someone who has been shot before. And she goes,
Kit (as Birdie): Hey. [deep loud breathing]
Cameron (as Emma): Hey.
Cameron: The first thing that Emma does is going to cut a shorter strip of the bandage and work it around so that she can get it set to tie right around where Birdie is applying pressure, so where the wound is, and then will have the knot prepped, and then will make eye contact with Birdie and go
Cameron (as Emma): 3-2-1
Cameron: And have Birdie swipe her hands away from it, while Emma pulls on it to replace the pressure from her hands with the tying of the bandage to be able to get more hands helping with this, because Birdie is better at human repairs than Emma is.
Kit: And Birdie interrupts her, obviously going,
Kit (as Birdie): [breathing in] 1-2-3-4, [breathing out] 1-2-3-4
Kit: To do this quick switch, and is like,
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, yeah. Thank you for helping. You're awesome. You're a good friend, Emma.
Nick: I need you to roll me another Medicine check, please.
Cameron: Can we do a cooperative check between me and the person who knows what I should be doing better?
Nick: Yes, but there's penalties for doing stuff on yourself.
Kit: Birdie has the Surgeon talent.
Nick: So let's do Emma's stats, but you can apply Surgeon to it.
Cameron: Okay. Birdie's still a little too tense to actually be doing any of it herself. [laugh]
Kit: Yeah, Birdie mostly just is providing any support where there's obviously need for another hand, and is coaching Emma through only minorly gritted teeth, now that she's able to try and relax slowly, now that her hands are no longer keeping her from bleeding out.
Kit (as Birdie): Thank you. Yeah, it's better. Okay.
Cameron: All right, So I've got my four greens again.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: Three successes, two advantages.
Nick: Wow.
Kit: So she's back up to half, which is great.
Nick: And on that note, as you are helping to bandage up Birdie, Emma - Cassidy you see that as you peek around a corner of cover, you see that two mercenaries have begun to work their way up the street, straight towards you, and if you don't do something soon, they're going to have you and your friends in a very dangerous crossfire.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind