The Patina has made it to Eagle Hill!
The Patina has made it to Eagle Hill!
We’re opening up auditions to be a new full-time cast member! Do you have actual play experience? Do you have solid home game RPG chops and a recording setup? Are you a voice actor looking to moonlight with some improv? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions come put your name in to join the Patina for this paid position! We’ll be collecting applications through December 16, 2021, so if you or someone you know is up for the job, hit up the application form below for more details, and a chance to get your voice out there, metaphorically and also literally. Find the application form here: Cast Member Audition Form
- Professor Jupiter is played by Bee Zelda. Bee, your non binary busy bee, can be found on twitter @bee_zelda. They are a podcaster, a member of the Broadswords, the host of Anime Attache, and a player on the Power Play podcast. They are a twitch streamer, they have co-produced their own show on Roll20 called Indie Showcase, they host Tabletop Otaku for Origins Game fair, and they are the community manager for D&D Adventurers League.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She also edits the show. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13. and on Instagram a @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support Patreon.com/TabletopSquadron.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- bullet train.wav by Snapper4298. Link & License.
- Fireworks, Distant » Fireworks, Distant, B.wav by InspectorJ. Link & License.
- About Life by Stephan Siebert. Link & License.
- Often Outmumbled – Never Outpunned by Doctor Turtle. Link & License.
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
- Our Website
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A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Episode 22: The Best Place in Eagle Hill
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Bee: Bee Zelda as Professor Jupiter.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
We got a fresh crop of glowing iTunes reviews in, so thanks to everyone in the discord who helped out the show! We got new reviews from Dami Wayne, JsXtm, MiteyMights, Xtreme4god88, BWolf5, ThinkOfTheSea, Jem Iha, Bobby 34:(, and BarryTheAndroid. And thanks to ImAaronJ, whose review appeared to get lost in the system back in April and only recently showed back up for us.
Also, this week, we have another big piece of news - we’re opening up auditions to be a new full-time cast member! Do you have actual play experience? Do you have solid home game RPG chops and a recording setup? Are you a voice actor looking to moonlight with some improv? Come put your name in to join the Patina for this paid position! We’ll be collecting applications for the next four weeks, so if you or someone you know is up for the job, hit up the application for more details, and a chance to get your voice out there, metaphorically and also literally. The link can be found in the episode notes, or on our Twitter.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into episode 22: The Best Place in Eagle Hill. And so...
Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
Cameron (as Emma): Last time on A Knight of Shreds and Patches, we saved a train. There were some bandits who for some reason thought a bomb was the best way to rob a train. I don't-their plan did not make sense to me. But we fought our way into the front car and Mo'nae got shot and I shot someone and then hit someone with a baseball bat and then I disarmed my first bomb.
Nick: The Rondaxe line coasts through the remaining miles of wilderness on the way to Eagle Hill. There are no more surprises, and Cassidy, Emma and Mo'nae are all treated with respect and care for the rest of the journey. All of the staff on the train fall over themselves to bring you whatever you need, as the view changes from trees, to rolling hills, to flat swampy coast land. In the distance as you approach the city, you can see a concrete No Man's Land dotted with campfires and rough settlements. But that quickly morphs into more permanent settlements and welcoming environs as you approach the city proper. You all are clustered in your booth in the back, as close to the rig as you can be, the seats that you bought passage on when you were still at Tree All Mountain.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Cassidy's going to take this shiny, heavy, overly elaborate revolver that Mo'nae let them use and hand it back.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, what what do you - Well, I don't I don't really want that. [uncomfortable laugh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): You -this giant golden gun that you've been hauling around? You don't want it?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I mean, it was really to kind of like, you know, improve my look. I mean, I think I was it was pretty successful. I was pretty intimidating the few times I had to brandish it, but I've never used it. So... you know, it doesn't really suit me. Take it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, I'm I'm not gonna say no, but I -
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): You need to sell it. I'm sure it's worth a ton on the black market, or any market really.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Cassidy shrugs and looks at Emma and tucks it into the belt of her dress to hold on to it until they can put it back in the rig.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): It was really cool working with uh, everyone. I spent a lot of my time doing these things kind of alone, and not that I've ever actually stopped a train from exploding, but you know, it was it was still a cool experience. So that's my way to say thank you.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, uh you know, it's my first time stopping a train from exploding as well.
Cameron: Emma is just unloading all of the half working guns that Cassidy handed her and is just setting them all out on a table. Any weaponry that she had acquired, besides the baseball bat that she took from the baseball tea car - that she is holding on to.
Nick: Modem leans in towards Mo'nae and says,
Nick (as Modem): Do you know how much that firearm is worth?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Uh, not really. I don't have a great concept of money, if I'm gonna be honest. Back home, that's kind of my job to make the money. So I've just never really had to sell anything on the black market. I just buy things there. I didn't buy that gun there. My boss gave it to me.
Nick (as Modem): If you find a seller that needs it, that's probably worth six Tree All Squares.
Nick: And modem sees the kind of blank look on Mo'nae's face and starts counting on his fingers and says,
Nick (as Modem): Four or five Gold Stitches.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I mean, again, that's that's great and all but I can literally stitch my own money. This is no issue to me.
Bee: And as Mo'nae is saying that they have their tweed jacket on the chair, their shirt pulled up and they're stitching their gunshot wound in a really beautifully spiderweb fashion.
Nick: I sure would love you to roll a Medicine check to see how good at this you do. And I'm going to go ahead and say you can have two blue die because of your skill with stitching and the fancy needles that you're using. Medicine checks are simple checks when you're doing first aid.
Bee: One success, two advantages.
Nick: So you heal two Strain and one Wound, which is nice. The more important thing is you are no longer actively bleeding. You've managed to seal it up. You know from experience that it's going to take a while for that to heal, but you're not really at risk of getting infected or anything, so that's good.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, wow. Ruined one of my favorite shirts. That sucks.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Getting shot is not the most fun thing that can be done.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, I know I wasn't thinking and that's probably the problem. Oh, it hurts.
Sydney: Cassidy tugs the top hem of her dress down just a little bit to show a pretty recent gunshot scar.
Sydney (as Cassidy): It happens.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Ooff. That's a serious scar. Um... Cassidy if you don't mind me asking, you look so badass with a gun, but have you ever shot anybody?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yes. Several times. I'm a sharpshooter by trade, so...
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Okay. Not to - I totally trust in your skills, like sharp shoot away, but like you should shoot first, you know?
Sydney (as Cassidy): [sigh] Maybe.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah.
Sydney: Cassidy sits - have a lay down in the booth. Putting her back against the thing and leans her head back a little bit.
Sydney (as Cassidy): There's a couple of ways to keep your conscience clear, a job like this. Well, to come to terms with the fact that you're the end of life for so many people.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): They want to end your life as well. You know, that's - got to defend yourself.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah and as soon as it's established that they're willing to, that that's what their escalation factor is, then, yeah, they'll get ended. But,
Sydney: Cassidy looks over at, makes eye contact with Emma for a second.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We had a - our captain, who didn't make this train, that was a follower of Aranabis, which is the religion that basically, I'm not a follower myself, but they are very reverent about the memory of the departed. That was Wyatt's way. His - I don't think his conscience was ever un-weighed, but he managed it. That was how he carried that extra weight. I can't do that. For me, in my experience, I have to be able to justify it to myself. And if I can do that, then I can still sleep at night. But that means I can't - if I just walk in guns a blazing, you know, not hunting bandits, not having been shot at first, like with no proof that these people are any more than cut purses that just need a solid punch and finger waggle and a lesson. I need to be able to sleep at night. And this is my way, in my years of doing this, that this is the way that I keep myself sane.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I really respect that. I uh, grew up in a part of Eagle Hill where you always assume the worst. It was how you survived. But I really like the idea of giving people a chance. It's a nice concept.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, it was earned in blood a little bit.
Sydney: Cassidy traces her old scar again, and then just looks out the window at that quickly urbanizing of the landscape.
Bee: Mo'nae is just mourning the blood on the tweed jacket.
Nick: And the camera zooms out the window as you all watch and we get a framing of the group of Cassidy and Emma and Mo'nae and Modem, and the train goes whipping by with the screech of brakes as it approaches the city. We see the rig strapped to the car behind your seats, we see the large livestock car filled with giant moose, and the Rondaxe line glides smoothly into the station.
As we get a full view of the train we can see steel rocket bikes that are jammed into the engine, sporadically. There's holes torn where some of them broke free after making impact. Little pinpricks of light can be seen through the smooth skin of the train, bullet holes from the recent hijacking attempt. Everyone on the train owes the three of you their lives. But the waiting crowd in the train station doesn't know that and you're able to exit the train. We see the conductor, who you have not seen up to this point being so late getting on. A tall, thin man with a very bushy mustache and a flat brimmed hat, who quietly shakes the four of your hands as you exit and assures you that they will be getting the rig removed from the train in the next few hours. Cassidy looks a little nervous, but you're assured that no one's going to take anything anywhere. The highest security in the city is around the train station.
Bee: I do ask the conductor if he's going to pay for my dry cleaning.
Nick: He laughs and looks at everyone to see what a great joke that is.
Sydney: Cassidy just shrugs.
Nick: Maybe for the first time we see Mo'nae with no humor on their face. And he blanches a little bit and then hands over a Silver Stitch and nods seriously to you. You could tell he did that out of his own pocket.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Thanks.
Nick: And you can see there is a large crane; the train station it looks like a very, very large aircraft hangar. So it's a wide building with nothing inside except for some posts holding up the domed ceiling. There's windows up high letting in natural light, as well as some strings of Edison lights going throughout it, giving a soft orange glow. There's a large crowd welcoming guests as they exit the train, looking for business connections, helping to unload, and hanging from the ceiling of this domed station there's a large crane and the crane is not lifting the rig, it's being secured with a harness to each moose, which seems to take quite a bit of time as the moose do not particularly want to be harnessed. And they're being lifted off one by one. And that seems to be why they're not going to be able to pull your rig off of the train immediately. And so you're able to step off the train without anyone really even knowing what you've done for everyone here. The passengers of the train are so stunned by the events that they're not relating the experience to anyone yet, and you're able to exit the train.
Cameron: As we exit the train and start making our way through the crowds of people in the station, Emma is looking around as if she's lost something, and is scrutinizing everyone stepping off of the train, looking in all of the cars, glancing, but she just sees moose.
Bee: Completely unaware to your melancholy, Mo'nae stretches and like obnoxiously where they're trying to take up a bunch of space with their arms, cracks their neck.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Well, um, if anybody's interested it is -
Bee: And they squint into the distance and you see fireworks of all different colors. They turned around to you enthusiastically,
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Who wants to see a baseball game?
Cameron (as Emma): Oh um...
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): It's the perfect thing to relax your soul. I promise. It's loud, there's mediocre food, there's a lot of people, it's so relaxing.
Sydney (as Cassidy): None of those things sound good.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): What??
Cameron (as Emma): But it kind of does, though. I mean, if it's gonna take them a few hours to get the rig off anyway, Cassidy, Modem, would y'all be okay with going to a baseball game? I feel like we have the best guide we could possibly have.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Mhmm.
Cameron (as Emma): And there's no point in waiting at the station.
Sydney: Cassidy looks back and forth a couple of times at the rig and then at the group, and sighs.
Sydney (as Cassidy): All right.
Nick (as Modem): I cannot approve of this activity. Your obligation contractually is to bring me to the Advantia conclave outside of the city.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, do you want us to just walk?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): [laughing] That's gonna take you forever.
Sydney (as Cassidy): None of our stuff is here. It's all on the rig.
Nick: Modem raises a finger. His long knobby index finger is in sharp contrast to the staff he carries with his other hand and he opens his mouth to object and then stops and thinks for a second and then puts his finger down.
Nick (as Modem): You have a point.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): And for what it's worth, public transportation here is amazing - except when baseball games are running, all the public transportation just runs to the fields. Not away.
Sydney (as Cassidy): That is good to know.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah, yeah.
Nick (as Modem): Well, for the sake of efficiency, we should see a baseball game.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, maybe the Black Sox are playing. You never know, Modem.
Nick (as Modem): I haven't seen a Black Sox game since before you were born.
Cameron (as Emma): How old are you?
Nick (as Modem): That's not important.
Cameron (as Emma): [laughing] No, I'm really curious. How old do you think I?
Nick (as Modem): Uh.
Nick: He looks uncomfortable, and crosses his arms while holding his staff and squints at Emma and tilts his head slightly and he looks to Mo'nae and Cassidy for a hint as they stand behind Emma.
Sydney: Cassidy makes straight faced eye contact back with her eyebrows raised.
Nick: And he bites his lip says,
Nick (as Modem): Sixteen?
Cameron (as Emma): What?
Nick (as Modem): Seventeen?
Cameron (as Emma): Modem!
Nick (as Modem): Nineteen?
Cameron (as Emma): Do you? Do you seriously think that Wyatt would bring a teenager?
Nick (as Modem): Oh I went the wrong direction. I did not think you were twelve.
Cameron (as Emma): Wha- No!
Sydney (as Cassidy): [sigh]
Cameron (as Emma): Oh my gosh. No~. I'm twenty-four.
Nick (as Modem): Wow. [disbelieving laughter] Really?
Cameron (as Emma): Yes.
Nick (as Modem): Twenty-four years old?
Cameron (as Emma): Yes.
Nick (as Modem): In the way that normally people measure time, you are twenty-four years old?
Cameron (as Emma): How else would I measure time? Yes.
Nick (as Modem): Some people use different measurements for anniversaries, but for the normal earth rotating around the sun kind of time - Oh, by the way, the sun doesn't just rise in the east and set in the west-
Sydney (as Cassidy): All right let's let's get on with it.
Cameron (as Emma): Ohh~.
Nick (as Modem): I am thirty-one.
Cameron (as Emma): No.
Nick (as Modem): You're right. I have accomplished much for someone as young as I and I am still deserving of respect.
Nick: And he turns and begins to walk towards the fireworks.
Sydney: Cassidy just looks at Emma and shakes her head.
Cameron (as Emma): There's no way. There's no way. No.
Sydney (as Cassidy): People age differently, I guess.
Cameron (as Emma): No, I - no.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I wouldn't want to look like that when I was thirty-one.
Nick (as Modem): I heard that.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Be quiet. I'm older than you.
Cameron (as Emma): Maybe like a hundred-and-thirty-one. Do you just drop the hundred when you get up there?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Probably.
Nick (as Modem): Oh, look at me I'm getting on public transportation.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Hey, wait for us.
Nick: So the public transportation of Eagle Hill is similar to the train that you just rode in on but rather than floating on some sort of forcefield these trolleys have large steel wheels that ride on tracks that are dug into the cobbled streets. And they don't have walls, they have a glass roof held up by poles, there's a roped barrier around them so people don't fall off, but you're able to hop on at any point. There's no one taking tickets or anything like that. These appear to just move around the city. And sometimes they slow down, sometimes they speed up, but they never fully stop and Modem has yelled at y'all hanging off of the back of one as you all hurry to jump on before it accelerates downhill towards the baseball stadium. The stars are out. You can see them even above the city lights. You traveled throughout the whole day and into the night on the train. Everybody tell me a sight you see of Eagle Hill as you head towards the stadium.
Sydney: As the streetcar moves closer towards these distant fireworks and air of festivities slowly grows, there's also the slight smell of salt, like brine, and neither Emma or Cassidy has been to the ocean. So this is a new kind of weird smell for them. As they near a big bridge, getting close to the stadium, there's water, it's saltwater. Cassidy's seen saltwater but not ocean. Cassidy does a little bit of the 'there's a suspicious smell in the air' sniffing and then scowls a little bit in a 'this smells like a thing I have smelled before. Long ago.
Sydney (as Cassidy): What is that smell?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, you don't - That's, that's the ocean. That or it's the monster lobsters, you know, sometimes hard to tell.
Cameron (as Emma): What?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): But yes, breathe it in. Smells like home to me.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Kind of smells like dead shrimp.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Ah, yeah -
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah!
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I could see that. But you know, smells like home, so that kind of cancels out it being a little gross. Plus, like, look at those walls. That is living the coral right there. That is a thing of beauty.
Cameron: Emma is pushing her way from where she's standing, to try to get to be on the farthest edge of the trolley so that she can see and isn't blocked by other people and is breathing deeply and is looking at everything, very excitedly. Her mopey-ness seems to have disappeared as she has become distracted.
Nick: Modem is staring straight ahead avoiding making eye contact with everyone like you're supposed to do on public transport.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Uh do you hear that, everyone? Pretty soon we're going to hear the jazz music of the city.
Cameron (as Emma): Do they just like have music playing?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yup, out of speakers all around town. Well, there's a giant radio tower and then think all the speakers are connected to that.
Cameron (as Emma): Ah.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah~. It's nice.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I could be okay with that.
Nick: And we see the trolley rolling on, the music does begin to swell over the sound of the water under the bridge. As you go over the bridge, you see these huge shapes, bigger than the car that you're riding on, just under the surface, moving slowly, and one of them breaches the surface and you see an armored carapace and a massive claw reach up and snap once before it sinks down below the surface again. They're the same color as the water. It would have been difficult to see if you weren't so enamored with the sights around you. But it was like a massive lobster. Unbelievably large.
Cameron (as Emma): Wh-wh-what? What is that?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Did you see some of the lobsters? They are so cool.
Cameron (as Emma): That that was not a lobster. That is ginormous.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I'm pretty sure that's a sea monster.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Uh, no, no, definitely just a lobster. I mean, what do lobsters look like where you're from? Are they small? Cause that's a shrimp.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, I've seen shrimp. Uh - that was something different.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I hope you like lobster then because that's what everybody eats here. Literally all the time. Lobster, butter, and Cracker Jacks.
Cameron (as Emma): I I've heard of lobster, normally described much smaller.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Again, I'm positive that you're thinking of shrimp.
Nick (as Modem): A fun fact. Lobsters are related to spiders, so really what you just saw was a water spider the size of a building.
Cameron (as Emma): See that makes a lot more sense.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): What? Is that real?
Nick (as Modem): Yes, lobsters are related to spiders, but they're delicious.
Sydney (as Cassidy): This is Advantia teachings?
Nick (as Modem): If by that you mean science.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah, no. This guy's kind of useful.
Nick (as Modem): Thank you.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): You know stuff, that's cool. Little nerdy, but still that's all right,
Nick: Modem's face gets stony, and he adjusts his robe, very snootily, and goes back to staring straight ahead like he's seen it all before, which he has, but it's been years and years, so this is definitely some iron control.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, so I have seen normal lobsters. And then I've seen like, crayfish and crabs from Lake Best, all of which are nowhere near the size of that monstrosity. Do you eat those?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh yeah, absolutely. It takes a whole team to take them down. It's kind of why the mafia around here has so much control, is they just have the weapon power to be able to take down one of the lobster and then they can sell it, make a bunch of money to the necessary places and that feeds like, pfft a lot of people.
Cameron (as Emma): [confused stuttering] Why are there giant lobsters, just like chilling right there?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): [overlapping] I really thought that was normal.
Cameron (as Emma): I am in a city. Why can I see a giant lobster?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh when we're in the city it'll be - they're like on the outside of the walls. Again, there's nothing to worry about. Well, sometimes they do crawl over the waters. But again, we've got defense systems for that.
Cameron (as Emma): What?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah, no big deal.
Cameron (as Emma): They can leave water.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, yeah. That can be pretty upset sometimes when they get like - they can grow really big. It's kind of our job to like [in background Cameron (as Emma): Oh no...] remove the ones that are a threat to Eagle Hill.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh my goodness.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Ssss- kind of sounds like all of them.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): No. No. They grow slowly.
Cameron (as Emma): That looks like a threat.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I mean, the biggest one recently was like 300 years old, so...
Cameron (as Emma): And how big was that?
Sydney (as Cassidy): How did you tell? How - did you count the rings?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, exactly. You count the rings around its belly uh and that'll tell you how old it is.
Nick (as Modem): That is definitively not how you tell the age of an arthropod.
Cameron (as Emma): How do you tell the age?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Are you gonna ask it?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah, come on. What are you a scientist? [laughing]
Nick (as Modem): I am not a biologist. But I am a scientist.
Nick: And Modem sticks a finger in Mo'nae's face.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh.
Nick (as Modem): And they shed their shells on a seasonal cycle. The bigger they are the older they are. These are all quite young for their species.
Cameron (as Emma): What?! How big do they start out?
Nick (as Modem): A few sizes smaller?
Cameron (as Emma): Wh-what is a few sizes smaller mean?
Sydney (as Cassidy): [overlapping Emma] How much is the size?
Nick (as Modem): It's hard to describe and you're obviously very distracted.
Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping distracted] Upset? Yes I am upset!
Nick (as Modem): I was going to say distracted. You didn't act this way when we drove past cows on the way here.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Woah, you saw cows?
Nick (as Modem): Yes.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Cool.
Cameron (as Emma): What is exciting about cows?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I've never seen a cow in person.
Nick (as Modem): Those are about the size of several cows. It's not that different. It's a food source for humanity
Cameron (as Emma): That's very different. I had a pet cow.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Woah~
Nick (as Modem): Oh did you?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Did it try to eat you? Was it really upset?
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah no cows... Cows are not scary. Like they're,
Sydney (as Cassidy): No -
Cameron (as Emma): - nice?
Sydney (as Cassidy): We had cheese made from the cow's milk like,
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.
Nick: Your car makes it through the wall and you find yourself on the streets of the city itself. You notice that everyone in the streets is wearing glasses, which is interesting. You've all seen glasses from time to time, Mo'nae this is normal for you, you have your own pair, but everyone either has some tucked up on their head or in a front pocket. And you can see what look like autonomous drones flying around with holo-displays showing various announcements that you're not familiar with. And you begin to approach the stadium itself. People stay clear of the trolleys and you're able to move faster. It's not much faster than walking. But because people get out of the way and the streets are fairly crowded, you're able to make very good time and you hop off in front of the baseball stadium. What color the fireworks?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Today, it's black and red.
Nick: And this stadium exudes age. Older than anything you've ever seen, older than the coral walls, older than the giant lobsters, older than even wild tech. Something about it just looks like it comes from before time. Before the world that you recognize as your own. And it's been repaired, it's been patched, but there's something about it that has a immutability to it, like an expression of humanity from before what recognizes humanity now. It's a simple field. You can hear the crowd cheering from inside. The walls are covered in ivy. You can see stone and concrete work peeking through. But the front has distinct arches and windows. You see four doorways with long decorated pillars stretching up to the top of the wall that divides the stands and etched into stone at the top, part of the sign is covered in ivy and has been worn by time, but you can still make out the name of this landmark in the Eagle Hill: Way Park and you go inside.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Welcome to the best place in Eagle Hill.
Nick: The crowd noise rises as some impressive play happens but as though welcoming Mo'nae back to their home field. We get a swipe of the camera and the four of you are seated in the stands, you're behind home plate fairly far up. Some of you have snacks. The game is a mediocre one, the Red Sox are playing the Black Sox. The score is two to two, nothing particularly as exciting as far as the game goes, but that's not the point of baseball. The point of the game is to be in the environment with these people and to dwell in the moment.
Bee: Listen to the crowd that sounds strangely reminiscent of orphans screaming around a table consuming the best Cracker Jacks that anybody's ever had. And there is still a strange smell of sea weed food and there's po’boys instead of hot dogs.
Cameron: Is it giant lobster?
Bee: Oh 100% lobster
Sydney (as Cassidy): Cassidy's got one of these lobster rolls and she's got a beer and she's doing her best to relax and just watch the game but she's concentrating on the game trying to trace what's going on and not totally at ease just with everything that's been happening with how many people are around and the beer is going down at a maybe slightly faster than would be responsible rate.
Cameron: Emma has a giant pretzel and a cup of tea in a little baseball tea cup.
Nick: The disposable tea cups are, they look like some sort of crustacean shell that's been maybe ground down to dust and then re-formed, but they feel like a really thin clamshell wood so they're easy to crunch up and throw away when you're done with them.
Cameron: Emma has not realized that this is probably a crustacean shell and thus is okay with drinking out of it.
Nick: And Emma the pretzel tastes like your aunt's sourdough bread, but there's something that you can't quite put your finger on to the flavor. It tastes salty, but like the brine of the air, not just the salt that's been sprinkled on it. It's extremely unique.
Cameron (as Emma): What are these green bits in the pretzel?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, that's seaweed.
Cameron (as Emma): Huh.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): We use that for flavoring everywhere. It's kind of a classic here. You know, like our main export is kelp rice? That beer there that Cassidy's drinking that's made out of kelp rice.
Nick: It's got a greenish tinge.
Sydney: Cassidy takes a healthy sip, and nods appreciatively.
Nick: The beer has a thick foam on top and you can't help but pick up a little bit of a foam moustache that you have to wipe off when you drink out of it.
Cameron (as Emma): It -the- [pause to collect thoughts] It tastes like the world smells.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah. Fantastic. So um, what is your plan now? You just dropping off that old geezer? Then what?
Nick (as Modem): I'm right here. And I'm thirty-one.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Okay. I mean, yeah, yeah.
Nick (as Modem): How old are you Mo'nae?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Twenty-five.
Nick (as Modem): Have you? Wow.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah, right. It's the tweed jacket. If only it wasn't covered in blood. It really does things. It works for me.
Nick (as Modem): I really believed that you were a respected teacher. There's no way at your age.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, so what is your plan?
Cameron (as Emma): Well, we need to drop Modem off.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, we have to go make a trip out to - Modem where'd, what part of Eagle Hill did you say?
Nick (as Modem): The Advantia enclave is to the north just outside of the walls. Once the Advantia took a more direct approach with the people of Eagle Hill, but something terrible happened -
Cameron (as Emma): [interrupting] Okay, so it's North outside the walls?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. So as soon as they get the truck off of the train we'll take this guy back and then [thinking noise] figure something out. We need a place to stay because we're not going to get out of the city anytime soon with the train and the weather. That'll probably be our next step is find a home base and start finding work.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I could probably help with that, you know.
Sydney (as Cassidy): With finding a place to park the rig?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah, you know, like a place to stay too if that's something you're looking for. My "friends,"
Bee: So they do like a weird quotation mark, but they have like a beer in one hand and a teacup in the other. So like it's awkward.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): We have kind of little bases of operation everywhere and I tend to, you know, I've got some uh uh clout and respect. And uh there's this place called Crochet Club. You can park the rig there, you could have some drinks. They have a couple of spare bedrooms upstairs.
Nick: Modem pulls Cassidy and Emma towards them away from Mo'nae and says,
Nick (as Modem): Excuse us for one second.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah, I'm gonna watch the game.
Nick: And leans in, he puts his head near to you, he still smells like diesel fuel and motor oil, even after all this time being away from the engines of Wawa. And he says,
Nick (as Modem): I don't have a vested interest in this, as I will have rejoined my brethren at the Advantia conclave, but I would be aware of any offers from this Mo'nae. I think they may be involved in organized crime.
Cameron (as Emma): What?? No way~
Sydney (as Cassidy): You mean, the mafia that they've said that they're involved with?
Nick (as Modem): I wasn't sure if you're aware of what that meant.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, it sounds like the mafia is just the ruling organization here. Is that organized crime if it's just the thing?
Nick (as Modem): I don't have to tell you that your possessions are beyond value. Leaving that in the hands of criminals that you've just met is dangerous. I can offer you protection with the Advantia.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Do you think the Advantia, after our conversations with you, after your initial reaction to seeing some of our stuff, is going to be more responsible?
Cameron (as Emma): Also, um there isn't going to be anyone here, Modem, that we haven't just met. So.
Nick: So he looks kind of sad at Cassidy's suggestion that you can't trust the Advantia, but nods to it. And then Emma points out that they don't know anyone. And he looks kind of surprised and raises his eyebrows and nods and says,
Nick (as Modem): That that is a fair point. You are wise beyond your years, Emma.
Cameron (as Emma): Of twelve, yes.
Nick (as Modem): Yes, of twelve. And I wish you the best of luck. I just would hate to see anything happen to you and ask that you be careful. Yes, go Black Sox!
Nick: And he starts to clap uproariously and he has, it looks like sushi, but if you took a fried vegetable stick, so they've taken the starch out of the rice kelp to make a starchy stick and then wrapped that in kelp rice and then in kelp. So it's like a sushi roll with a meat substitute in the middle. And he sticks that in his mouth like a big stogey while he cheers and claps, the Black Sox just struck out and ended the inning. He clearly was not paying that much attention to the game.
Cameron: Emma stays kind of huddled over by Cassidy where a Modem had pulled them.
Cameron (as Emma): I I think having some powerful friends in the city isn't necessarily a bad idea. What are you thinking?
Sydney (as Cassidy): I agree. I think we should think about what our plans are and this is not the setting to do that in.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah. Even if it's just a short term solution, I think. I mean, I'm good with it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I would love to not have to watch our backs continuously.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We don't have a lot of personnel to do that. So
Cameron (as Emma): Well and I can't imagine how many spaces there actually are where we could park the rig.
Sydney (as Cassidy): If we're going to be in town.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, we can go out of town and camp, but the work's going to be here too. [sigh] Yeah, I don't know. These are questions that I previously would not have been the one who had to answer them.
Sydney: Cassidy takes a big draw on her beer and just leaves the mustache for a second. It's got green flecks in it. Cassidy halfway smiles with this moustache before seeing Emma's reaction and cleans it off.
Cameron (as Emma): I I feel like ever since I joined up we've been going real hard on the adventure. The doing new things and I'm not sure that it's my favorite.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I I mean we're we're gonna have a hard time doing adventure right now. We don't have - we have one person with combat experience. And you've been in three fights now?
Cameron (as Emma): Uh, that feels right.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Did you ever punch your cousins or something? Do we want to count punching your cousin's as combat experience?
Cameron (as Emma): I, I mean, I no - it's not on the same scale. I feel like you know, just the tensions may be high but like risk is definitely not there.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah I - we need we need to sit down and figure out what our plans are because this,
Sydney: The crowd noise rises around them as a big play happens and Cassidy attempts to say something and it's just eaten.
Cameron (as Emma): Agreed.
Cameron: Emma toasts [laughing] with her teacup and takes a sip.
Sydney: Cassidy gently taps it with her now almost empty beer, drains it and then looks a little surprised at the cup being empty.
Nick: Modem takes a large bite out of his seaweed role as the Red Sox have just scored and yells
Nick (as Modem): Boo~!
Nick: And throws the rest of it towards the field. [laugh] It flies pretty far but it hits a fan in the back of the head because you all are pretty far up. But other people are throwing stuff too, this seems pretty normal. And the game comes to an end. You judge enough time has passed to fetch the rig and continue on your journey. It's getting to be pretty late at night after a very long day and the rhythms of the city are changing as you follow the crowds out of Way Park and stand in front of the main entrance. Modem, Cassidy, Emma and Mo'nae.
Cameron (as Emma): That was so much fun.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I am so glad.
Sydney (as Cassidy): That was an experience.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yes!! The food, the sounds, the music, the fans, all of it. It is just it's it's a wonderful experience and I'm really happy I got to share that with everyone. Uh Modem, I'm sorry, your team didn't win.
Nick (as Modem): The Black Sox are an eternal disappointment. I'm used to it.
Cameron (as Emma): I thought you liked them because they had the best stats.
Nick (as Modem): They do.
Cameron (as Emma): How?
Nick (as Modem): How can you pay players that much and still lose regularly?
Cameron (as Emma): Uhh.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): It's impressive, you know, paying players to not always win their games.
Nick (as Modem): Are you imply- No. I will not get into this argument now.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): No, no. Yeah, I mean if you wanna talk later, you know where I am, Modem. And I'm sorry you have to go. No - I'm happy. That, this is a good thing.
Nick (as Modem): Yes. I shall rise within their ranks to help humanity to advance. My knowledge gained by destroying drones will help us to advance knowledge through the Advantia and as the Advantia grows in strength and knowledge - [in background behind Mo'nae] so too shall humanity...
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Okay yeah so like I had a lot of fun and um if y'all ever need something, like you do know where to find me, I'm more often than not at the Crochet Club. I do a lot of my work there. So it would be really cool to see everyone.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Where's this Crochet Club located?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, um, it's near there's like a really big tea house. If you look off into the distance like North there's a tea house shaped like a teacup? It is the building behind it, kind of hidden since, hidden in plain sight. You know, people think that we're just like a laundromat, but really we launder money. Um really, we're just kind of like a cool place to hang out.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Cassidy looks a little bit skeptical but does look North to mark that landmark.
Nick: You can just see what looks like a giant handle of a teacup peeking up between two larger apartment buildings. It's across the river from Way Park and further in, but you know the direction. From the description it should be pretty easy to find.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, yeah, we may pay you a visit.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): See how it goes.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Sounds good. And uh, you all stay safe out there. World's a scary place and it seems like you're all going towards all the terrifying places that you can go.
Cameron (as Emma): Unfortunately. [sigh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): That's kind of what it's feeling like yup.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Can we like, do you do hug or you like a handshake? What do we want to do here?
Cameron: Emma goes in for a hug but gently because [laughing] Mo'nae still has a gunshot wound.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, wow. Thank you. Thank you. I keep forgetting how much it hurts until I move. [forced laughter] Whoo.
Sydney: Cassidy just gives a solid handshake.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Good form. Modem?
Nick: Modem doesn't touch Mo'nae, but he leans in towards them and in a voice that only Mo'nae can hear says,
Nick (as Modem): These two will not be in my protection for much longer, but if you are an architect of their destruction, know that I will rain the fire and hell stone of the Advantia down upon you and all you know. Protect them.
Nick: And then he stands up and smiles real wide and says,
Nick (as Modem): And thanks for the seaweed.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Um, yeah. Wow. Uh you're - You're welcome. Whoo...
Bee: And will they like scratch their head, adjust their large white frame glasses, shake their polka dot bow tie, and with a nod, they walk out into the distance.
Nick: And faster than you expect Mo'nae disappears into the crowd. They blend in with the goers of the baseball game, and they move through the crowd like a shark does through the water; smooth, uninterrupted, and given a little bit of space and respect, whether that's from their aura or the obvious blood stain on their side. And the three of you head back on to one of the trolleys and back towards the station to collect the rig and to head North outside of Eagle Hill and on towards the Advantia conclave. Having made a new friend, watched a baseball game, and made a plan for what comes next.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Aly (as Zee-o): End of episode. Commencing end credits. The following information will be placed in the show notes for your added convenience.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Bee Zelda as Professor Jupiter. Bee, your non binary busy bee, can be found on twitter @bee_zelda. They are a podcaster, a member of the Broadswords, the host of Anime Attache, and a player on the Power Play podcast. They are a twitch streamer, they have co-produced their own show on Roll20 called Indie Showcase, they host Tabletop Otaku for Origins Game fair, and they are the community manager for D&D Adventurers League.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support @ Patreon.com/TabletopSquadron
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com.
Until next time…
[hurdy gurdy fades]