The Patina learns the joy of contract law and X Bike racing.
The Patina learns the joy of contract law and X Bike racing.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- OFFICE and PAPERWORK sounds » 01322 writing signature 1.wav by Robinhood76. Link & License.
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- Happy Greece Traveling (ID 1339) by Lobo Loco. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
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A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 16: Stated Explicitly in My Contract
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
Thanks for joining us in our little corner of the internet, unless you are listening to these episodes as delivered to you by your carrier pigeon network in the remote wilderness, in which case, thanks for joining us in this bird coop of audio composition. And if you have another exotic listening environment, drop by our Discord, linked in the show notes, to give us the rundown so we can properly thank you for the effort you, or your animal friends, are putting in to allow you to enjoy our content.
If you were, say, getting this episode as read aloud from the transcript over a PA system in an ice rink, you might also be excited to know that this weekend will bring the launch of a new miniseries on Patreon, featuring some of Marathon’s history as she enters the ice derby circuit. And of course, if you choose to support us in that way, you’ll get access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 16: Stated Explicitly in My Contract. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Penn (as Marathon): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, we wrapped things up at the Abundance Gala, or the masquerade ball or whatever you’re gonna call it. But uh [huff of laughter] Emma took down this absolute beast of a guy, Atlas Bloodfeast. It was pretty impressive actually. Emma is impeccable with that sword, even with the hilt. Ouch is all I got to say. Meanwhile Cassidy tried to pick a fight with the guy who picked a fight with Emma, Lord Aubergine, and I had to step in and scoop her out of there and you know, I didn’t really think about it, but I was being the responsible one that night. I was acting like Emma. Dang is this how Emma usually feels? Like Emma should drink more if that’s the case, is all I’m sayin’. But uh, Birdie got up to some shenanigans with Councilman Wander that hopefully will benefit us in the future. And uh, I caught up with Winifred. Um, [short laugh] we uh we just talked and it was normal, normal behavior between two women who are casual acquaintances and nothing more. Nothing that made me blush or anything. Um totally. But uh, it sounded like she finished her stuff and then we headed on out. We’re skedaddling and I’m excited for the next step of this adventure. Hopefully we get this Knight fixed and on the road!
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: The Patina's trip to the masquerade ball was wildly successful. All objectives were achieved, contacts were made, and the next step of their plan is quite clear. Having made introductions with Opal and gotten an offer of employment, the Patina goes to Opal's home office to clarify what contracts must still be made and what exactly they're being hired to do. Opal's office is just off of Merchant's Alley above some small expensive and trendy shops. A large open concept reception area with several receptionists leading to a private office. Opal is seated behind a large wooden desk with chrome accents in a very comfortable looking antique, high backed leather chair. Birdie and Emma, you out of the Patina have been chosen to complete this negotiation and set your group up for success, and you are led into the office with Opal behind her desk and a pile of papers, and you have been told that you have 30 minutes to complete negotiation because Councilor Opal is a very busy woman.
Kit: Birdie will be the first to break the silence as her and Emma enter the room and will very cheerfully reach over the desk and shake Opal's hand.
Kit (as Birdie): It's a pleasure to see you again.
Cameron (as Opal): Good morning. Where is your tall friend?
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, um, Marathon chose to go with our driver, Cassidy, to do a little bit of research on the tournament space and work with our mechanics a little bit more.
Cameron: Opal nods approvingly.
Kit: Birdie will pick up the contract and begin reading through as carefully as she can, looking for anything that stands out. And she'll also hold it at an angle to show Emma so that they can both look and see if there's anything fishy going on.
Cameron: So as you read through the contract, the basics for it are that Opal is willing to offer 40% of the pot to the Patina, minus expenses, and there is a call out that while the goal is for them to be competing in the Championship League, as they are new to the X Bike circuit within Sasnak, they do have to start in the Minor X Bike League. But she can arrange for Cassidy to be put into certain races that will get her through the process quick enough to get promoted up to the Championship League. It also offers the use of a large mechanics bay in the X Bike arena that has been vacated by Carbon and his team. There is some equipment there, but the vast majority of it was Carbon's and was taken by Carbon, but the space is there for the group to use. And there's also an addendum at the bottom adding that if Opal has need of any additional mercenary work, the Patina will be contacted.
Kit: Birdie will try and see if the addendum includes that the Patina will be contacted or will be required to do said work.
Nick: Yeah, the addendum states that you would be called for to complete those tasks. Basically, you're on call for additional work from Opal's company while you're on Sasnak.
Kit: And would Birdie know if 40% is standard for these sorts of sponsorships?
Nick: Ooh, I think you need to roll me a Classical Knowledge check for that, or actually, Streetwise probably would make more sense. This is average.
Kit: So for that, I'm gonna be rolling three yellows and two purples. Three advantages.
Nick: You know, it's funny, but Birdie you've never gotten really into contract law in your career, just hasn't come up. With the advantages, you're not sure what standard is. 40 feels pretty low, but with your knowledge of like what the pots for X Bike tournaments can get up to, 40% of those is still a lot of money, so you don't necessarily know if it's fair, but you do know that you do stand to make a pretty good profit off of it.
Kit: Birdie will smile winningly at Opal and gently touch Emma's arm.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm so sorry. Could I possibly discuss this contract a bit further with my friend here privately? We could just step outside. It would only be a couple of minutes.
Cameron (as Opal): Of course. You can go to the left, there's another room. You can go in there.
Kit (as Birdie): Thank you very much.
Kit: And she'll stand and exit with Emma.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, so I have a feeling that we can make like one big change. And my two instincts are either to ask for more of the pot because we would be doing on call mercenary work, or we reserve the right to say no to some of the mercenary work that she might require us to do, but not alter how much of the pot we take.
Cameron (as Emma): I think I would I would be curious to ask first, if the because it's an addendum and like it's added in addition, is the being on call for mercenary work just that if something comes up, she'll call us and give, like, pay us for that job as well or is it just the fact that we are her X Bike team also means that anything else she has come up we have to do?
Kit (as Birdie): Yes, that is a good question.
Cameron (as Emma): Because I prefer the first one.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm. And that's why I would think if we can't use our own discretion for that, we would ask for more of the pot in lieu of being paid more. But I guess that would also depend on us winning the pot.
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm. And I also think it doesn't make sense on the additional mercenary work to require us to take every jobs, because if it's something that we don't have experience in, Opal's probably got other contacts that would have that experience.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm.
Cameron (as Emma): So if it's just that, she'll call us first, and if we feel confident we can do it, then we'll do it otherwise, she'll use her normal network,
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm.
Cameron (as Emma): - that that's cool, but I don't -
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): Since you're the only one who really knows the city, I'm hesitant to say, Yeah, sure, any mercenary jobs that come up, no biggie.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, it's not any mercenary work... that'll get you doing things that really no one wants to do. So let's just ask whether or not it's an additional pay thing for each mercenary group thing, or if it's just expected of us with this deal. And then we'll move on to if so, x question, you know?
Cameron (as Emma): That sounds like a plan.
Kit (as Birdie): 40% seems low. Whatever. It's fine.
Cameron (as Emma): 40% of a really big number is still a really big number. [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, yeah, that's fair, okay.
Cameron (as Emma): Plus, you can bet on Cassidy, and then when she wins, tada, you have even more money.
Kit (as Birdie): Good point, good point. And it's not like the city is expensive to stay in or anything.
Cameron (as Emma): Not at all. [laughing]
Kit (as Birdie): [laugh]
Cameron (as Emma): That's one thing I've noticed about Sasnak - it's amazingly reasonably priced here.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh yeah, it's totally not a place that just eats your money up anyways. [sigh] Okay, you good? Ready to go back? Any more questions?
Cameron (as Emma): I'm good.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): I think I just, I just want clearer language in that addendum.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm. I think that's that's fair, and we'll get it in writing.
Kit: And she'll pull open the door to re-enter the main room with Opal.
Cameron: Opal has some underling at her desk that's showing her a giant pile of paperwork and looks like they're freaking out about something.
Kit (as Birdie): Apologies about that, Councilor,
Cameron (as Opal): No problem. Carl, figure it out. Let me know what comes out of it. I don't have time for you right now.
Nick (as Carl): Oh yes. Councilor, I'll make sure to do what I can.
Cameron (as Opal): Make sure you do.
Nick (as Carl): I am well aware of the consequences of -
Cameron (as Opal): Yes, yes, Carl. Go.
Nick: As Carl leaves, he makes very meaningful basset hound eyes at Emma and Birdie on the way by.
Kit: Birdie gives him a tight smile and a thumbs up. And as they get readjusted with the contract on the desk between them, Birdie will steeple her fingers.
Kit (as Birdie): So we only had really one question that we would like to get more clarification on, and that was the addendum that we noticed about being on call for mercenary work. We have no qualms with it, but we wanted to make sure that does this mean that we would get paid separately for each job, or is this sort of a bundling deal where we would be expected to just do the work whenever, because we're working with you and having payment elsewhere?
Cameron (as Opal): Of course, you'd be paid for the individual jobs.
Kit (as Birdie): All right, perfect. And -
Cameron (as Opal): Doing, doing a large bucket payment for just anything that I could ever come up with is a terrible way to maintain business contacts.
Kit (as Birdie): Yes, also giving the fact that the main pot that will be paid for is not guaranteed. So yes, I agree. And as long as we can get that sorted in writing, that we will be paid separately with each request that you have, that would be perfect for us, I think.
Cameron (as Opal): Yes, if it's not clear at the moment, we can certainly make the lawyers update it. [yelling] Barnaby!
Nick: There's a very long pause.
Cameron (as Opal): He'll be here in a moment.
Nick: And then a droopy head pokes into the room.
Nick (as Barnaby): Yes, ma'am?
Cameron (as Opal): We need you to make an update to the contract you wrote.
Nick (as Barnaby): The contract I wrote fits all of the stated requirements.
Cameron (as Opal): I know, but we need it updated.
Kit: Birdie is near red in the face trying not to laugh.
Nick (as Barnaby): Yes, ma'am, if you could just mark up whatever is needed.
Cameron (as Opal): Yes.
Nick (as Barnaby): I will make those changes immediately.
Cameron: Opal reaches across the desk and grabs the contract papers and slides them around so they're facing her and then picks up a large red pen on her desk and starts marking it up.
Cameron (as Opal): So essentially, adding the clarification that the individual mercenary jobs themselves will also be paid for separately from the 40% previously discussed in the contract. Do you think you can do that?
Nick (as Barnaby): Yes, ma'am, of course.
Cameron (as Opal): Thank you.
Nick: And he grabs the contract and leaves the room and is surprisingly quickly back with an updated contract that he presents to Birdie and Emma. Birdie and Emma, do me a favor and make me a Classical Knowledge check, please. Knowing what the going rate is that makes sense is Streetwise, being able to parse contract language and find a kind of screwy loophole, seems to me like just straight up book learning. This one's going to be hard and also you have a black die because Barnaby is very good at writing contracts.
Kit: I'm gonna use a Story Point.
Nick: Okay.
Kit: I'm gonna be rolling a yellow, green, three purples, and a black.
Cameron: I have four greens, three purples, and a black.
[dice rolling]
Kit: I got four failures.
Cameron: I got two successes and two threats.
Nick: Okay, so with the successes Emma, what you do notice about the wording in this contract - it's not something that if you were just reading it like a book that you would notice, but you see the logical cage that this document basically is. The thing that you notice is that the way this contract is currently written, the Patina would have no ability to refuse any jobs that Opal gives you as long as you are on Sasnak. So sure, you would be paid for them, but you would essentially be committing to only doing jobs for Opal and doing anything she wants. The threats are any Negotiation checks that you do to try and change that are going to have negative penalties, because the contract is written in such a way that it's going to be pretty difficult to get out of that and not have this whole thing fall through.
Kit: Birdie is looking straight at Emma.
Kit (as Birdie): Um, Emma, do you have any thoughts on this?
Cameron (as Emma): So I just have a quick question on this part that we just updated. I see the piece added in here about that each job will be paid out individually as they're completed, what I want to clarify is, is this every single job that you have come up, we would take no exceptions?
Cameron (as Opal): Yes, it would be any jobs that came up during the time that you are on Sasnak.
Cameron (as Emma): So my concern with that line item is one, our ability to do any job that comes up along side, like maintaining everything to be - as best we can for the X Bike tournaments and having enough time to do both, and also Birdie is our only Sasnak native. So I worry that there would be some types of jobs that might come up that we wouldn't be the best option for, and there would be more knowledgeable people in the city who could get it done more efficiently with with more with more home turf knowledge than we're going to have.
Nick: So make me an average Negotiation check Emma with two black die.
Kit: Can I give a blue die if I say something to assist?
Nick: Yep, you sure can.
Kit: Birdie will pipe up at the end of Emma's sentence to say
Kit (as Birdie): We're also a private mercenary company and we do reserve their right to refuse any job that we would be opposed to, but of course, this is a mutual agreement. We want to help you. We want to work alongside you, of course.
Cameron: Now for that Negotiation check, I'm gonna flip a Story Point because that's not Emma's strong suit, but she read real good, so she feels confident in her argument, and it's giving her yellow die. So that makes my roll a yellow, a green, a blue, two purple, and two black.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: A success.
Nick: Cool.
Cameron (as Opal): All right, those are valid concerns. Let's think. So I would be willing to update, well, to have Barnaby update it, to give you the option of rejecting jobs that you felt you were not suited for, or would impact the time necessary for the racing. If we were to add that in I - as you are a private mercenary company, I would like to add that you do not take other jobs that are working against my efforts, and would like some assurance that you are not going to reject every job presented. Something like a minimal number of jobs that you would take - at least, say, two before you left Sasnak.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm perfectly comfortable with that.
Cameron (as Opal): And you?
Cameron (as Emma): That allays a lot of my concerns ma'am, yes.
Cameron (as Opal): Good. [yelling] Barnaby!
Cameron: Opal has already grabbed the contract and is red penning it again.
Nick (as Barnaby): Ma'am, why do you keep having me leave the room if you're just going to continue to call me back?
Cameron (as Opal): I would like to point out I didn't ask you to leave. You do that yourself. Here you go. Make these updates now.
Nick (as Barnaby): Yes.
Cameron: Opal holds the papers into the air.
Nick: He takes them and scans them quickly, and he looks to Emma, angling his face so Opal can't see and winks at her approvingly.
Nick (as Barnaby): Oh yes, ma'am. I'll ensure that this is taken care of shortly.
Cameron (as Opal): Thank you. Can I interest you ladies in some lemonade, while we're waiting?
Kit: And Birdie will look at Emma and her smile does not falter.
Kit (as Birdie): I would love that. That's very generous of you. Thank you.
Cameron (as Emma): That'd be lovely.
Cameron (as Opal): [yelling] Reginald!
Sydney: A new figure sticks their head inside the door with round glasses and a somewhat downturned face.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, milady?
Cameron (as Opal): Reginald, be a dear and fetch us some lemonade?
Sydney (as Reginald): Of course, milady.
Sydney: Then he disappears and then shortly returns with a tray with three glasses of ice and a pitcher full of fresh lemonade.
Sydney (as Reginald): May I approach, milady?
Cameron (as Opal): Yes, please do. That's how the lemonade will get here.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, milady.
Kit: Birdie and Emma are kind of just, they're like,
Kit (as Birdie): [barely contained laughter]
Cameron: They're like trying not to make eye contact so that they can maintain a semblance of seriousness. [laugh]
Sydney: Reginald puts the tray down on the side of the table near enough to each of them, and then stands back up.
Sydney (as Reginald): Would you like me to pour the drinks, milady?
Cameron (as Opal): Yes, please.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes milady.
Sydney: And he pours the class for Opal, and then looks to Birdie.
Sydney (as Reginald): Would you like one, milady?
Kit (as Birdie): Yes. Thank you very much.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, milady.
Sydney: And pours the drink and then looks to Emma.
Sydney (as Reginald): Would you like a drink, milady?
Cameron (as Emma): Yes, please, Reginald.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, milady.
Sydney: And pours the drink and then straightens again.
Sydney (as Reginald): Do you require anything else, milady?
Cameron (as Opal): Not at the moment, Reginald. Thank you very much.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, milady.
Sydney: And walks out of the room.
Nick (as Barnaby): I'm back.
Cameron (as Opal): Barnaby, hello.
Nick (as Barnaby): Here is the updated contract.
Cameron (as Opal): Thank you. Ladies, please take a look at that and see that it meets your expectations.
Nick (as Barnaby): Reginald? Reginald, could you come back please?
Cameron (as Opal): Why?
Nick (as Barnaby): I would like a beverage.
Cameron (as Opal): Barnaby, you know where the kitchen is, you can just go get yourself a drink.
Nick (as Barnaby): Ma'am, you will see stated explicitly in my contract that I am entitled to be treated in a manner of my station, which includes Butler delivered beverages.
Cameron (as Opal): All right, but not in my office.
Nick: Reginald appears in the doorway.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, milord?
Nick (as Barnaby): Could you please bring a beverage just outside of Councilor Opal's office? I'll be there momentarily.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, milord. Would you care to specify the beverage, milord?
Nick (as Barnaby): No.
Cameron (as Opal): He'll take a milk.
Sydney (as Reginald): Ah yes, milady.
Nick (as Barnaby): I'm lactose intolerant.
Sydney: And Reginald turns and doesn't hear this remark or chooses not to on his way out.
Nick (as Barnaby): Will there be anything else, ma'am?
Cameron (as Opal): Hopefully not, but if you want to remain standing here until they look it over and confirm that we're good, then please don't trouble yourself to leave.
Nick (as Barnaby): I will respectfully stand by.
Cameron (as Opal): Thank you.
Kit: Do Birdie and Emma see anything troubling in their contract?
Nick: No, nothing else jumps out at you. You seem to have found most of the pitfalls in this agreement.
Cameron: Emma reads through it and then gives Birdie a nod of satisfaction.
Kit (as Birdie): Wonderful um, that appears to be satisfactory for both parties, and we're happy to sign.
Cameron (as Opal): Wonderful. Barnaby?
Nick (as Barnaby): Yes, ma'am.
Cameron (as Opal): You may return to your desk.
Nick (as Barnaby): Thank you so much for the permission, ma'am.
Nick: And he shuffles away.
Cameron: Opal rolls her eyes.
Kit: Birdie will pick up a pen that's on her side of the desk and sign where it's prompting her to sign, and then pass it to Emma as well to give her signature.
Cameron (as Opal): Timothée?
Penn (as Timothée): Yes, madam?
Cameron (as Opal): Be a dear and grab my seal and come serve witness?
Penn (as Timothée): Of course, madam.
Cameron (as Opal): Thank you.
Penn (as Timothée): Seal. That's right, I'm the seal keeper.
Penn: Timothée meekly holds out a small stamp in cupped hands.
Cameron (as Opal): Thank you.
Cameron: And Opal reaches out and takes it, and once again spins the contract around to face her and picks up an additional pen that she has that is not red, and signs in her spot, and then opens up a desk drawer to her right and takes her seal and dips it into something inside the drawer, and then places it on the contract next to her name, and then peels it off and it makes a very satisfying sound.
Kit (as Birdie): Wonderful. Shall we toast?
Cameron (as Opal): Indeed. How handy that there's lemonade. Oh, here you go, Timothée. Thank you.
Penn: Timothée has remained still, hands cupped waiting for the return of the stamp.
Cameron: Opal replaces it back in their palmed hands.
Penn (as Timothée): Thank you, Madam, it is my pleasure.
Cameron (as Opal): No, thank you.
Cameron: And Opal holds up her lemonade glass and refocuses back on Birdie and Emma.
Cameron (as Opal): To our new partnership and our winning X Bike team. Cheers,
Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] Cheers.
Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping] Cheers.
Cameron: And then everybody drinks lemonade.
Nick: The lemonade is crisp and refreshing, and the contract is signed and official, and you all feel very confident that it is exactly what you were expecting and that there are no secret surprises hidden within the honeyed words.
Cameron (as Opal): Reginald! Could you come make a photocopy of this?
Nick: As Emma and Birdie are doing their negotiations with Opal, Marathon and Cassidy have gone to the X Bike arena to do some more research about the sport that Cassidy has been signed up for. The arena is a long track of dirt and obstacles surrounded by several tiers of bleacher stands. This is not a major race. It's more of an exhibition done in the middle of the day, so Marathon and Cassidy are able to get seats pretty easily.
Penn: Marathon is watching the race almost through her fingers as her hands are covering her face.
Sydney: Cassidy is watching the race with her wild tech headset on tuned to the radio station that is broadcasting the commentary to provide one more source of explanation for what's going on, as she has a notebook out, and she's taking a combination of notes and sketches of what's going on and what she can parse both from the words of the commentators and from the actions of the racers for strategy and tactics.
Nick: The announcers are giving a pretty matter of fact play by play. Marathon and Cassidy, you both notice that the racers are driving fairly conservatively. They're not taking the kind of risks that you might normally expect, but there have still been a couple of spectacular crashes and injuries, even in a exhibition match with pretty low stakes.
Penn (as Marathon): Cassidy I know I used to participate in what used to be called the death sport, but like, this is kind of scary. Like, you know, I'm real sorry that I signed you up for this. Like, are you sure you you you want to do this? Like, oh shit! Oh shit! Ahh! Dirt. Okay, I just saw - okay. Was - did a leg just pop out? Oh god...
Sydney (as Cassidy): No that was just a piece of dirt. It's fine.
Penn (as Marathon): Okay, okay. I'm sorry. [exhale]
Sydney (as Cassidy): The leg would be probably with a spray.
Sydney: And Cassidy takes notes on the most recent collision and a couple of quick bullet points on what led up to the failure in judgment.
Nick: Cassidy you also noticed that a lot of the advantages to this competition seem to come through the pit stops and bike modifications and repairs that happen in the middle of the race. That does seem to play more of a part of it than you thought it originally would.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Did you catch how that number 5 down there switched from the thick, chunky off road tires to a more like hybrid tire last pit stop?
Penn (as Marathon): Wait, that's number 5? I thought that was, I thought that was a totally new one. I thought that was 7.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, the I mean, I think they switched their drivers, so I guess driver number 5 on the bike that had been driven by number 7.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, man Cassidy I don't know how you're keeping up with this.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean,
Penn (as Marathon): There's so much more rules.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. I've been out here watching a few times while Emma's been doing stuff too. I'm not like, totally cold to it, but there's a surprising more amount of depth in everything around the race, like the choices that they make in the pit stops and how they build the bikes and how they gear the bikes, and how they do like, I don't know all of Emma's the fuel richness and everything. I don't know everything, but it's this is what we're gonna do. And you know, the other two are off negotiating contracts, so when they come back, theoretically, this is what we will be doing, and I want to do it well, and I want to do it and keep my limbs attached. So
Penn (as Marathon): That's a fair enough answer. I mean, looking at the death machine sport and Cassidy's fine lining the details, classic.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean you didn't, how did you learn ice derby? Did you just like, go out and do it? You - [laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, it - there are some rules, but once you get into it, it's pretty simple, especially because I was a Blocker, my job was just stop one person or two people from getting past me.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, but you have to start to learn what the other racers are and what to expect from how they're gonna try and, like, I don't -
Penn (as Marathon): That's true.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - it's a Death Race, so I'm gonna assume, like, hit you in the face with their skates or something like, whatever they're trying to do to get you out of the way. Like, you still are learning.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, like, when, uh, like, scouting, like, when Killer Cadet used to do the scouts honor? Like, having to watch out for that specific move, keeping my keeping my ankles extra covered before the race. Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah so it's just the same thing as that. It's just that they're potentially driving a lot faster, and the bikes are a lot noisier than skates.
Penn (as Marathon): And you're on a death machine, yes, okay. [calming exhale]
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, they're wearing helmets.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, I have full confidence in your abilities. Do you have - do you? Are you confident in this?
Sydney (as Cassidy): I am looking forward to having some track time.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Like I'm I'm decent on a bike, but I - sounds like the bikes that we have and the bikes that are down there are not the same kind. So practice.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, you're anything if not adaptable. If you're anything, it's adaptable, I don't know how to sa- [sigh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Nick: As you are finishing your conversation, the race comes to a conclusion. It ends up being really close, and two different X Bikes collide right before the finish line, and the winner is declared as the rider who was thrown across the finish line first. Both of them are able to sit up after the crash, but both of them also have to be helped off of the track afterwards.
Sydney (as Cassidy): In ice derby, how, how intact did people tend to be at the end of matches?
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, you know, every once in a while people would lose, like fingers or something, or get scraped, but like it was mostly everybody living. There was the occasional death, every so often. I mean, it looks like the injury, like the injuries I've seen just today, are more frequent and it seems more grave than what we had going on. Like getting sliced is one thing, but getting thrown with a large hunk of working machinery metal.
Sydney: Cassidy reaches up and disables the radio feed coming in her ear.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, I'm kind of used to having my life be at risk - mercenary work, I don't know. This is just, it's one more thing where if I'm prepared enough, it's not a huge deal. People like Carbon are out here, you know, intact for years.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah. Well, I'm glad you're preparing. And just like - I know we got to put it all out there, but even just as a friend, will you like prioritize your safety? I assumed you would, but
Sydney (as Cassidy): I am. That's why I'm here, taking notes and not at contract negotiations or,
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't know, eating fancy food and forgetting why we're here.
Penn (as Marathon): Maybe, maybe, yeah, yeah, sorry, I should stop distracting you there. Uh, let's get you in note taking mode, Miss Cassidy. I will try and stop averting my eyes.
Sydney: Cassidy reaches up and squeezes Marathon shoulder and then re-toggles her radio feed as the next race begins to start.
Nick: As the race is concluded, we see that the arena is monitored by several cameras, both for security and remote spectators, and we follow one of the connections from those cameras through the webbed network of Sasnak Traveling to one of the most talented negotiators of that network. Winifred is working in her laboratory analyzing the connection that was made during the masquerade ball.
Sydney: Winifred's lab, the room that she's working in, is distinct from the office where she occasionally makes appearances to present on findings to the Forecasting Bureau. That's more of a administrative workplace than a functional one, and so many of the staff members have independent workplaces. Winifred's is located in a room maybe the size of a large utility closet. The door to the outside is unmarked and unlabeled, but when Winifred presents a hardware access key to a specific panel the proximity sensor checks her security access and allows her in. The room has a line of monitors down one side built into the wall. The bulk of these look like they're tapped into city security systems watching for figures of interest - one of them is trained on the ramp, watching incoming and outgoing traffic onto the city. A couple of them are showing scrolling terminals, perhaps ongoing logs of some longer running tasks.
Continuing around the room, there is a workbench for not hardware fabrication, but at least assembling of hardware, so there's a power supply, there's a soldering station, there's a collection of electronics in half built stages, though, the station is quite neat, considering that there are things half built. Each project is in its own small tray, and there is a collection of small drawers with components and accessories for managing everything. And then against the third wall, it's a cross between a fully articulated hospital bed and an office chair with a set of complex machinery mounted on an arm, almost looking like a dentist station, but it has cables that follow up the arm and then disappear into the wall or go over the ceiling and attach to the terminal with all of the other monitors. Stuck various places around the monitors and the workplaces are pictures of Maria cataloging their journey together from as far back as when Winifred was still a teenager and Nurse Bliss was Nurse Bliss, up until Maria hit milestones of becoming an administrator, becoming the administrator, becoming a mother, her second marriage, and finally, a hat rack in the corner where Winifred's hat and jacket of the day are currently hanging.
She is typing away at the terminal. One screen is showing the current X Bike events going on, but she's not paying attention to it. She has flipped over one of the monitors to an interactive command prompt and is typing commands and squinting and looking a little frustrated. She shakes her head and sighs, stands up, stretches and then goes to sit in the big recliner, fancy chair. She taps a few buttons on the arm, which opens a compartment revealing a set of what could only be wild tech interfacing devices. There's a visor with a screen going across that she hooks on to her ears with the screen directly in front of her eyes, that almost matches the aesthetics, like it could come from the same manufacturer as the one that made Cassidy's radio headset - utilitarian, but it's got a couple of concessions to style. Perhaps it wasn't just a maintenance piece, it was a high end entertainment device from the before times. From the drop down, she pulls down a couple of small adhesive pads with wires trailing up into the machinery that she applies to the base of her skull. Takes a deep breath, breathes out. Leans back to where her body is cradled by this chair in a stance that would be comfortable for extended periods of time, and then hits a large green button on the arm.
Rapidly data starts to display on the inside of the screen, and then to her perspective, everything just goes white. She finds herself now in a digital environment. This space is almost as familiar to Winifred as her physical workspace is. Through a combination of manipulations at the physical level and customizations within this space, she has built up a landing pad, a home for explorations, almost like a mind map. There are locations with pictures that she has mapped to correspond to what are, in fact, interfaces into different parts of the city. Everything is purely associative and not functional, but there is a drain on the floor representing the areas that the Drain Boys control in the Guts. There is a window attached to nothing, representing the Eaves. And so on down through this otherwise white and plain space, the bookmarks that she has placed for herself, her digital projection walks part way down the line and then turns to a giant gemstone on a marble plinth. An opal - and she reaches out to touch it.
The space reprojects itself and in contrast to the controlled space that she had built for herself to enter the connecting network that makes up the city of Sasnak, this is much more chaotic. There's a complex overlay of lines in multiple directions and dimensions. Some have patterns, but it's not anything that can really be mapped to a grid. There are just a lot of overlapping planes and shapes that follow, perhaps the projections of objects in 3D space, but everything is overlaid so tightly it doesn't really respect the physical representation, and that's something that Winifred has had to deal with in her exploration of the city, because this is how she has come to understand anything about the way that the city functions, is through this direct digital interfacing. She looks down onto her forearm, where a terminal identical to the one that she had been working on back in her workshop, and she runs a ping command looking to locate the device that they had gone through all that effort during the party to plant. A light, cyan in a sea of other colors of less saturation and less brightness. This point appears in the space, and she moves towards it and then reaches out to touch it to see what all of her efforts had led to revealing.
Nick: Okay, go ahead and roll me a Wild Tech check at hard difficulty. You've spent a lot of time laying the groundwork for this, so you are prepared. You have the tools.
Sydney: I am also going to flip a Story Point for this, because this is something that even outside of what the Patina's's mission is this is very important to Winifred.. And that brings me to four yellows and a green against three purples.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: A triumph with no success, two failures, and six advantages.
Nick: Um…so because you did not roll any successes, your attempt to pierce Opal's network and find the location of the ICE protocol that you are searching for is unsuccessful, but you are able to get some surprising information that you did not have. For one thing, the ICE protocol that you were looking for - with that triumph you now know exactly what it is, and it is physically housed within the X Bike Championship trophy. You're not sure exactly the provenance that led to this item being used as a trophy, but you now know that if you are going to achieve your goals in the network and in Sasnak and for the Patina, you're going to have to get your hands on the X Bike Championship trophy at some point.
Sydney: The way that this interface works, even to Winifred's subjective perception from within this digital space, sometimes the way that the information gets to her is just weird. She connects to this node and she can immediately tell the ICE that she's looking for, the one that would, in a stroke of luck, also solve the Patina's problem, it is revealed to her that it is not here. All of the bread crumbs that she had traced to this point digging through logs, doing data recovery on old records that had been overwritten 5 times, but not 10, enough to pull fragments - the goal is not here, and she can't tell where it is, but she has a collection of search demons set up watching for anything new that hit the network as devices that hadn't been connected for a while reconnect and report their findings to the federated network that makes up Sasnak. One of these, as this node is connected the one that Winifred and Janus had wired in, a different association is made, and rather than a location being revealed, the physical object that is associated with this collection of mathematical functions, procedures and protocols. Her eyes furrow as she returns back to her home digital space and a projection of the X Bike trophy appears, she holds it slowly rotating above her hand before adding it to the collection of bookmarks around her. With this new physical entry into her lookup tables, she keys some quick commands into her terminal and a number of new documents that had had no reason to be poured over are sent to her screen.
The first document that she opens is the one that she found immediately most interesting, a page from what looks like a user manual, a maintenance manual, but it's a scan of a page, so it's not plain text searchable without some kind of optical character recognition, but the signature of the pages author matched against the signature that was tied to this trophy, and she realizes this page talks about this tool that she's been searching for - what its original purpose was. Its original function was as a developer authentication into - not as a back door, but as a way to access the debug functions of the neural network and associated operating system that drive the city of Sasnak. Now, for Winifred’s purposes, it is cyber armor that would protect her from some of the most intimidating security that she has come up against in the city - potentially, would be enough to let her in this form, in her digital avatar, make contact with whatever is actually driving Sasnak - whether that's a collection of algorithms or something else. She hopes it's something else. The disappointment of the work that they've done not being enough to gain this access is overcome by the beginning of a new train of breadcrumbs to her personal goals. As she hits a command on her terminal and her eyes refocus on the physical world, she has a satisfied smile on her face as she starts mentally planning the next steps that she, with the help of Birdie and her willing mercenary company, will need to take next to make her dreams a reality.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind