The Patina continues to make their way out of the Guts and splits the party again.
The Patina continues to make their way out of the Guts and splits the party again.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- That Guy's Sky Is Way Too High (long version) by Doctor Turtle. Link & License.
- Easy - Easy by Crowander. Link & License.
- Flies On The Prize by Doctor Turtle. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
- Our Website
- Twitter
- Join our Patreon
- Join our Discord
A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 27: Soul Searching
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
There are certainly events happening in the world out there, and I’ll be the first to say (for obvious reasons) that some of the shit being bandied about is on the scary side . But we’re here and we’re queer, and our joy is itself an act of resistance, so do what you need to do to stay safe, while still remembering to celebrate the happiness you have. It is our solemn responsibility to stick it to the man.
And then, if you need a break from man sticking and want to listen to your friendly cast going wildly off topic on pun-related tangents, consider backing our Patreon, which, besides those bloopers, will give you access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 27: Soul Searching. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Penn (as Marathon): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, Emma and I continued our way through the back halls of the Guts. It’s um, it’s not the most interesting, but I’m actually really thankful for this time that we get to spend together and chat and get to know each other a bit more. I feel like Emma and I haven’t had some one-on-one time like this in a little bit, so it’s pretty nice. Yeah, I mean it’s been pretty pleasant. We happened upon a terminal to finally get a message out to Winifred that we were alive, so I mean I guess Birdie and Cassidy might be freaking out about that. I actually have no idea where, what is happening with them and I’m going to assume that they’re, it is a positive experience and that they got out because I don’t want to imagine the rest. Um but yeah Emma also got us a minecart, hopefully that’ll fast track us out of here - ha, pun intended. But yeah, honestly it’s a pretty good walk. I’m kinda scared for when we see Birdie and Cassidy though. I really hope they’re all right.
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: Birdie, the damp air of this part of the Guts has more movement in it than the way you originally went. There are mechanical pistons that are slowly moving on the ceiling that stir up a light breeze around you that doesn't quite cool you off, but does make this area seem less claustrophobic. The sound is a little more muted as your sibling Juno leads you back to where you had left Cassidy unconscious. They are moving quickly, but they continually look back to check on you, as though worried you're going to fall behind.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah and so then Cassidy ripped the stupid circuit key out of the board without even checking if it was gonna be, like, trapped or exploding, or anything like that. And then she got, like, pitched against the wall, and everything was horrible, and I thought she was dead. So, yeah, that's what happened.
Nick (as Juno): Wait, I don't I don't understand though, because, like, I haven't interacted with her much, but she seemed like the kind of person who would plan everything down to the meticulous detail, kind of like Winifred. You're saying she just like, shoved her hands into a high voltage power box?
Kit (as Birdie): After blaming me for not knowing every single thing about the about the Guts and not knowing or like being prepared for anything that could have happened to us or did happen to us, she literally stuck - did the equivalent of shoving a fork in an outlet.
Nick (as Juno): Huh? Well, um, this is gonna sound kind of out of character coming from me, but that sounds like a trauma response. I'm not saying that like the way that that whole situation went is your fault or you did anything wrong at all, but it sounds like there's some stuff she may need to work through.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, you think?
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, I do. That's why I said it.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, Juno.
Nick (as Juno): Watch your head. That pipe’s a little low.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, well, you're quite a bit taller than me, so actually, it's okay, but thank you.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, well. Um.
Nick: Birdie you see as you walk under the pipe that Juno is trying to surreptitiously rub at his head where he hit the pipe.
Nick (as Juno): Okay, well, either way, uh first step is just going to be to make sure that she's okay and still breathing, and we'll help you get out of here. And um I uh just, I really don't want to be in like, conflict atmosphere, so I'll just try to like -
Kit (as Birdie): You might want to try to, like, book it after.
Nick (as Juno): Well, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna leave you in a bad situation.
Kit (as Birdie): [never thought that for a second] Oh yeah.
Nick (as Juno): I will make sure that you get out of here. I just, well, we'll we'll see what happens anyway, it's, uh, it's around the corner right here.
Nick: And Juno grabs what looks like a wall of woven wires and then pulls them back and you see it's actually like a curtain. And there is a short staircase down in a shadowy corner, and in the middle distance, you can see the platform where you left Cassidy.
Sydney: Cassidy is sitting cross legged right on the floor next to her pack of stuff. But as soon as they come into sight, Juno and Birdie can see that she has her big revolver trained on them, before seeing who it is.
Kit (as Birdie): [scared for Cassidy rather than angry] Hey. Uh it's just us. Are you okay? You - I didn't know if you were gonna wake up.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I'm alive.
Kit: Birdie has her hands raised in a don't shoot gesture, and she'll slowly lower it.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay um. I found Juno, and they're gonna help us get out here.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Seems good.
Sydney: Cassidy re-holsters the gun and then goes to stand up and pick her pack up. It happens slowly.
Nick: Juno walks briskly over to your side Cassidy and starts to look you up and down.
Nick (as Juno): Okay, so you've already - it looks like Birdie did what she could. Um~ you're still in pretty rough shape. High voltage will do that I guess. Would you like me to carry something for you? Uh, not in like a patriarchy way, just in a like you're injured way?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Sure. Here.
Nick (as Juno): Great.
Sydney: And Cassidy gives him her pack after taking the bow off the bottom of it and just putting the bow around her.
Nick (as Juno): Okay, uh one other thing I can do to help before we get you out of here. I'm really glad Birdie ran into me this you all are in a tough spot. Would you like something to make the hike out of here a little bit easier?
Nick: And he roots around in his lab coat that he's wearing and pulls out what looks to be a thick plastic tube about the size of an extra large marker.
Sydney (as Cassidy): What does it do?
Nick (as Juno): Oh uh it's a mixture of chemicals that will reduce pain and stimulate the blood.
Kit (as Birdie): That sounds like a drug.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, it's a drug. It's like a it's like a medical drug. It's a combat kind of thing. I stole it from the Ramp Girls.
Kit (as Birdie): Not a fun drug?
Nick (as Juno): No~. Well, it can be used recreationally, but in this case, it's, it's more like combat medicine. I I'm not just gonna stick you with it, though, I wanted to ask first, because that would be really weird if I just did that.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Appreciated.
Sydney: Cassidy sticks out her hand.
Kit (as Birdie): My whole body hurts. Yeah, hit me with it.
Nick: Juno hands the one that he's holding to Cassidy, and you see it's basically an epipen - it's like an auto injector. You just need to jam it into a fatty part of your leg. And Birdie, Juno reaches around in his coat again.
Nick (as Juno): I was saving this one for me, but you're also in pretty bad shape, so
Nick: And he doesn't ask you, Birdie, he just jabs it into the meat of your bicep.
Kit (as Birdie): Hey!
Nick: And there's a sharp prick and then you feel way better.
Sydney: Cassidy puts it on her thigh and hits the button and then flinches for a second.
Nick: You both heal five Wounds temporarily. It lasts about four hours, so it'll be long enough that you would assume to get out of here, but you're still going to need medical attention.
Nick (as Juno): All right? Everybody feeling better?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, mostly.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We have to find our friends.
Nick (as Juno): I will take care of that for you. This is one of those situations where if you're going to continue wandering around down here, you're not going to be helping anyone, you're just going to hurt yourself. So as somebody who spent a majority of their life down here in the Guts, my recommendation would be follow me to safety, and then I will help your friends, cool?
Kit (as Birdie): [classic little sister] A majority is a stretch.
Nick: Juno turns around so that his back is to Cassidy and puts a lot of tension in his neck and makes a 'come on' facial expression.
Kit (as Birdie): [small giggle]
Sydney: Cassidy bites back a comment about how much Birdie's knowledge of being down in the Guts so much growing up was worth, and instead moves to follow.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Fine.
Nick (as Juno): All right. Tally ho, good friends.
Nick: And Juno hurries off at a anxious pace, as though the tension in the air is driving him onward ahead of you all.
Sydney: Cassidy moves to follow Juno, not looking like she wants to have any more words at this point.
Kit: There is a distinct lack of chatter.
Nick: There is a crack and a hiss, and you follow the outline of Juno holding a chemical flare above his head like a beacon in the dark. Emma in Marathon - it is a tight squeeze in this mine cart that Emma was able to call with the terminal, but it is worth it as you see the ground whipping by next to this track. Weirdly, there is very little wind, and it is very quiet. There's just the gentle hum of this thing moving, but it's not quite fast enough to stir up any air or make it difficult to talk, but you all are making excellent progress. It's super smooth, it's super comfortable. It's as fast as it can go while still being able to comfortably converse. It's like the perfect conveyance.
Penn (as Marathon): Man this is all I can ask for from a mine cart where my knees are touching my chest.
Cameron (as Emma): You know, I was just thinking the same thing.
Penn (as Marathon): These Drain Kids ride in style.
Cameron (as Emma): I mean, I don't - if they're, if they're in groups as large as the one that we saw previously, even being child sized, they're not all going to fit in here. So, like, does, do they just have to wait for the next one? Like, it's a it -
Penn (as Marathon): I wonder how many kids fit in one mine cart? Like, not safely, but just, like,
Cameron (as Emma): [laugh] I, uh, you know, I don't know.
Penn (as Marathon): I'm sure that's had to have been a conversation they've had.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, especially the not safely part. I don't -
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): I'm not getting the idea that that's a real big concern.
Penn (as Marathon): [disgusted with child endangerment] God.
Cameron (as Emma): Especially because, you know, all the all the kids we passed, seemed terrified of us being adults, so
Penn (as Marathon): I see why Birdie wants to revolutionize this system down here.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh yeah, 110%.
Penn (as Marathon): I'm pretty sure I saw kids bones back with the octopuses. The octopi?
Cameron (as Emma): Really?
Penn (as Marathon): Either a really big rat or a kid. Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): Uh I'm a go, I'm a go rat.
Penn (as Marathon): Like, it's not that far of a stretch.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah no, I know with -
Penn (as Marathon): But choosing to believe it's a rat.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, from, from -
Penn (as Marathon): Hmm.
Cameron (as Emma): I'm going to say that it's a rat, um, having not seen it.
Penn (as Marathon): That's fine.
Cameron (as Emma): But I -
Penn (as Marathon): Chilling.
Cameron (as Emma): I know listening to like to Birdie talk about it, like it's - it would not be surprising that octopuses occasionally ate kids, and it seemed like [sigh] uh the higher ups wouldn't really care, which seems like a terrible way to run an organization.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): Um that you want to have any like, long lasting setup for, but I guess, I guess they're,
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah fuck Drain Boys management.
Cameron (as Emma): - they're making money or whatever they're doing now. [end overlap] So, yeah. What was the guys in charge names like Gary or something?
Penn (as Marathon): Um~.
Cameron (as Emma): And Birdie wants to punch him in the face.
Penn (as Marathon): [thinking noise] Marty Plumber or something like that?
Cameron (as Emma): I don't know. I'm remembering it sounding like Larry, but it's not Larry because that's Maria's husband,
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): And I would remember if they had the same name.
Penn (as Marathon): God wonder how Birdie's family is doing right now. How long have we been down here, Emma?
Cameron (as Emma): Uh~
Cameron: Emma looks down at her watch trying to read the face of it in the dim light, because it is, of course, an analog watch.
Cameron (as Emma): Approaching a day?
Penn (as Marathon): A day since -?
Cameron (as Emma): Since, since we entered -
Penn (as Marathon): Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): - the Guts. I don't, I didn't, I don't know exactly when we came in, -
Penn (as Marathon): We got split up.
Cameron (as Emma): - but we that's, that's, yeah, about a day ish, give or take
Penn (as Marathon): [stressed long exhale]
Cameron (as Emma): - uh [mathing] six hours? I don't know. A while. It's been a while, Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, a little too while - too much of a while.
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm. Um.
Penn (as Marathon): I, I am not proud of how nose blind I've gotten.
Cameron (as Emma): I do think this section legitimately smells better. I don't - I don't think that's just nose blindness. It is way less damp. I think that is helping it a lot.
Penn (as Marathon): Hmm.
Cameron (as Emma): I guess we'll know whenever we get back [overlapping] into the wet section if -
Penn (as Marathon): [overlapping] Yeah whether people are averse from us.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, if we if we don't notice any smell change, we're nose blind. If we notice a smell change, then we can just reflect back on this longingly.
Penn (as Marathon): Hmm.
Cameron (as Emma): Um.
Penn (as Marathon): God, I miss Tree All. [laugh]
Nick: I need you both to make a hard Perception check with a black die, please.
Cameron: Marathon, you get two blue die. We are so close to each other right now so my Heightened Awareness is giving you two blue die.
Penn: I'm rolling three purple and a black versus three green and two blue.
Cameron: And I've got two yellows, a green, three purples, and a black.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: Two failures.
Penn: Three successes.
Nick: Nice. Marathon you notice, as you are talking to Emma, a red light starts flashing down towards the bottom of the cart by Emma's foot. She doesn't seem to have noticed.
Penn (as Marathon): Emma you - there's, is there - like, what kind of mechanics are in this cart? You got - you got something next to your toes you might be interested in.
Cameron (as Emma): What, what?
Cameron: Emma tries to look by her toes, with her knees up next to her chest, with how cramped she is.
Nick: It was basically under your boot, but now that you know what you're looking for, there is a dim LED that is blinking, Emma, and you notice the blinking is starting to speed up, and there appears to be a couple of buttons down in that part of the cart as well. You realize you're pretty lucky that you didn't kick them as you were cramming in. They're the same color as the wall of the cart so you may not have noticed, but that light appears to be starting to flash a little faster.
Penn (as Marathon): Here. Do you need to - here. I'll lean out so you can -
Cameron (as Emma): Okay.
Penn (as Marathon): Here you can get some more room.
Cameron (as Emma): All right, okay, let's link, link elbows and then you can lean, okay?
Penn (as Marathon): Okay, okay. Okay you got some room.
Cameron: Are any of the buttons labeled?
Nick: Do you have the flashlight with you or something?
Cameron: Yeah.
Nick: If you shine a light, you can see that the buttons appear to be some sort of controls. There is an arrow pointing back the direction you came, and an arrow pointing the direction forward, and a big red X. The red light that is now flashing even faster is next to a little pictogram of a railroad track.
Cameron (as Emma): Uh~.
Nick: And the light is flashing even faster now as you look at it.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay, um.
Penn (as Marathon): What's your peak?
Cameron: Emma's gonna hit the red button, the stop button. Ideally, it's a stop button.
Nick: Yeah. So you hit the stop button, you're still wedged down in there. Marathon is leaning out with elbows linked. So I need you both to make a hard Athletics check to hold on.
Cameron: Can we have a blue die because we've linked arms?
Nick: Yeah, since you are hanging on to each other, you can have a blue die.
Penn: Marathon is rolling three purple versus four yellow and a blue.
Cameron: And Emma with a, while still impressive not nearly as impressive, two yellows, a green, a blue and three purples.
[dice rolling]
Penn: I rolled a failure and a threat on the dice, but because of my Natural Talent I can re-roll Brawl or Athletics.
[dice rolling]
Penn: Two successes and two advantages.
Cameron: And I got four successes.
Nick: Nice. So, Emma, you hit that red X. The red light was flashing fast enough that it was almost just continually lit. The red X causes the cart to drop slightly and then smack into the ground and begin to decelerate extremely quickly. Luckily, because the two of you were holding on to each other and the cart and you are very strong, you are able to hang on and nobody is thrown from the cart or gets hurt. As the cart comes to a stop, you are in a fairly well lit part of the corridor and you see that the track up ahead is broken and ends really abruptly and that red light must have been a warning light.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh, thank goodness.
Penn (as Marathon): Everything, all right?
Cameron (as Emma): [uneasy laugh] Yep.
Penn (as Marathon): Can I scoot back in now?
Cameron (as Emma): I've - yeah, we're stopped, and um it looks like we're not gonna be continuing -
Penn (as Marathon): Shit.
Cameron (as Emma): - this way at least.
Penn (as Marathon): Damn. Dirt. Well, this was so easy [sigh] Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, but uh, I guessed correctly on the meaning of very not well, uh, labeled buttons and warning lights. Uh, the tracks broken up there.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh!
Cameron (as Emma): So
Penn (as Marathon): Ooh, okay, yeah. Okay, good call.
Cameron (as Emma): That's apparently, what flashing red light means.
Nick: Marathon you notice on the far side of the hallway where the track is broken, beyond that, where someone might be thrown if the cart had hit the broken track, is a particularly jagged piece of shattered wall that looks like could have been like a death trap if you had been thrown from the cart and hadn't noticed.
Penn: Marathon sees this and has not unlinked arms with Emma and her elbow grip just tightens a little bit.
Cameron (as Emma): Oof.
Penn (as Marathon): Ooo. Whoo. That -
Cameron (as Emma): So
Penn (as Marathon): - that looks - sorry, here. I'll, I'll let you go. No um. O~-kay. The Guts really wants to kill us ~. Oh, God.
Cameron (as Emma): Yep.
Penn (as Marathon): Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): Great great job noticing the flashing light of doom.
Penn (as Marathon): Hey, you know, I try to notice when I can. I just thought it would be something cool that you would want to see and I'm -
Cameron (as Emma): Uh yeah yeah. I mean -
Penn (as Marathon): I'm concerned with the lack of urgency that I used now.
Cameron (as Emma): [laugh] I mean, definitely something I wanted, I would want to see. Um, yep, all right. Uh,
Penn (as Marathon): Whoo. Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): We can -
Penn: Marathon is standing up now in the cart with her hands on her hips.
Cameron: Emma is trying to unfold herself from where she's wedged in here.
Cameron (as Emma): Oof.
Penn (as Marathon): Do we keep walking along the - can we get across this or?
Nick: So you can see the broken track, a stretch of this corridor, and then the shattered, jagged wall. The rest of this corridor continues onward - you can see where the track continues again, but beyond that area, it looks a lot more dusty and not as well traveled. Emma, if you compare the map, continuing on this hallway leads to a dead end and it looks like this hole in the wall is the way that you get spit back out into the rest of the Guts and headed back towards your original objective.
Cameron (as Emma): Um~ way forward is through the hole in the wall.
Penn (as Marathon): Hole in the wall. Okay.
Penn: Is it elevated at all?
Nick: Yeah, it's about waist height.
Penn (as Marathon): All right. Wanna boost?
Cameron (as Emma): Uh I'm gonna stand out here for a minute and get some blood flow back into my -
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): - extremities.
Penn (as Marathon): No worries.
Cameron (as Emma): [stretching] Yep.
Penn (as Marathon): I picked out some, some meal bars from those Drain Boys lockers, if you want to share one. I think this one's -
Penn: Marathon pulls one out and looks at the label.
Penn (as Marathon): Uh Kelp.
Cameron (as Emma): Huh? Okay, sure.
Penn: Marathon tosses a meal replacement bar and then opens up one of her own.
Nick: The kelp meal replacement bars sort of taste like dirty socks smell, but like in a good way. Very salty, slightly funky, a lot of umami.
Cameron (as Emma): Mm. Hmm. This this kind of, this kind of smells like Eagle Hill does. Did? Does, probably - I can't imagine that's changed.
Penn (as Marathon): Eagle Hill smells like a middling protein bar?
Cameron (as Emma): It's, yeah, yeah, um, it depended on which way the wind was coming in, but it's, it's right on the water, and is like, surrounded and like, protected from the water by like this coral wall.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, cool.
Cameron (as Emma): And there's waterways all over the place, and it, it just very, very, [overlapping] kinda wet and salty.
Penn (as Marathon): [overlapping] Oh, you mean saltiness!
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, yeah. What did you think I meant?
Penn (as Marathon): The whole experience of the of the meal replacement bar, but,
Cameron (as Emma): Um.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, okay, I get that.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah no, it's mostly the it's mostly -
Penn (as Marathon): The kelp?
Cameron (as Emma): - the kelp and the, I don't know, the the smell that I'm smelling as I chew it reminds me of Eagle Hill. [laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): Well, yeah, you don't always pick them, I guess.
Cameron (as Emma): It's not - and it's, it is, it's not bad.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah no.
Cameron (as Emma): It just gave me a very specific scent memory.
Cameron: Emma is swaying back and forth from leg to leg to get blood moving around.
Penn (as Marathon): Need a need a stress hug after all that?
Cameron (as Emma): Nah, I'm all right.
Penn (as Marathon): Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): Oof.
Nick: Does Marathon look like she needs a stress hug after all that?
Penn: Marathon looks pretty wild eyed and not stressed like she needs a hug, but really heightened right now and is energized, woken up, maybe from a near death experience.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, ready to keep moving?
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.
Cameron: Emma's putting her pack back on and picking up her sword.
Penn (as Marathon): Um, well,
Cameron (as Emma): Let's go.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): It was a nice not walking break. Um, yep. That's that's my review.
Penn (as Marathon): I'll give you a polite boost up.
Cameron (as Emma): Thank you.
Penn (as Marathon): And in the meantime, we will continue our conversations. Miss Emma what is your favorite food~?
Cameron (as Emma): Bread?
Penn (as Marathon): Ah, too easy.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah. I feel like you, I feel like you know that one. [laugh]
Nick: And we see Emma and Marathon continue into the darker and danker parts of the Guts, but their cheerful conversation makes the journey seem not so dangerous as it was before. Cassidy and Birdie - the hike out of the Guts with Juno goes very smoothly. It's obvious that Juno has taken these particular paths in the Guts before and has led you the easiest way out. He leads you to a different exit than the one that you all used on the way in, but it does spit you out nearby. While the trip in took most of a day, 8 to 10 hours or so, this hike back out only takes about 2. Part of that would be that Juno keeps up a consistent and quick pace. You get the impression that he isn't going to ask how you all are doing, but would stop if you asked for a break. But the group continues on, and you find yourselves in a small room with a hatch with a spinning wheel in the middle, like a bank vault door, and Juno steps off to the side and says
Nick (as Juno): This is the way out. It's near Merchant's Alley so you can get everywhere you need to go from here and I will head back down and find your friends.
Sydney: Cassidy takes a deep, tired breath, even with all the drugs in our system keeping her propped up.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Let us know when you hear something. If you hear something.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah yeah, for sure. I think that they, they may- they're probably fine. I think they're fine, and I'm going to go find them, and I will let you all know as soon as I do.
Nick: And he nods once, punctuating his statement.
Sydney: Cassidy motions to get her pack back from Juno.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Thanks.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, right.
Nick: And Juno slings it off and hands it over and starts to back away from the two of you towards the darkness, almost comedically, waiting to see if you're gonna stop him or not.
Kit: Birdie is going to stop them about two steps in, and will give them another really big, tight hug and smushed up against their shoulder, she'll say,
Kit (as Birdie): [smooshed] Thank you for helping us.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah. We're family. That's what family is supposed to do.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, I know, but, yeah, thank you. Okay, bye.
Nick: Juno squeezes you back and puts one of his hands on the back of your head to just give a full body squeeze and then lets go.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Nick (as Juno): It's gonna be okay, Birdie.
Kit (as Birdie): [clears throat] Yeah. Yeah, okay, thanks. See you soon, hopefully.
Nick (as Juno): Yep, uh, are you going back to the container probably? Like, if I find them where should I be sending information, I guess?
Kit (as Birdie): Send them to the containers and tell - I don't know where we're gonna go, because we should probably go get patched up, but
Sydney (as Cassidy): I'm gonna go find Winifred to get her to help search.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a good idea.
Nick: Juno looks a little lost in thought, like he's going to say something, and then shakes his head and is like,
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, no. Yeah go find Winifred. Good idea. She'll be able to find out all sorts of stuff, and she'll, and I'll reach out to her if I need anything.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, thanks.
Nick (as Juno): Yep. All right, I'm done.
Nick: And he turns around and jogs back into the darkness, and you hear him mumbling to himself as his footsteps echo away into the Guts again.
Kit (as Birdie): So Winifred's it is.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean I can talk to her if you want to go, I don't know, get the Ramp Girls or the Drain Boys or your buddy Wander who knows everything?
Kit (as Birdie): [tired] Nice Cassidy. Very nice.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [sarcasm switch engaged] Oh, sorry. Was I not supposed to be listing resources that we have available to us?
Kit (as Birdie): We both need medical attention. So luckily, Winifred is married to a nurse, so we should go there.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay, if we need medical attention, why don't we just go to the Patches?
Kit (as Birdie): Because it's the middle of the night, and it's probably going to be easier, shorter and not going to take as long to just go and see Maria.
Sydney (as Cassidy): And Wander's place is a 10 minute walk.
Kit (as Birdie): Why why - What was- how - what does this even have to do with Wander right now? I'm saying that we need medical attention.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [spinning up yet again] Because what you - Wander knows everything about your family and the accidents, and that means that this guy, who you have the circuit key to pay him for information, can give you information about where our friends are and how many pieces they're in.
Kit (as Birdie): A, we didn't even complete the task that Wander gave us. So I would not go to him, because -
Sydney (as Cassidy): [interrupting] We have, I have the circuit key in my bag. We just go hand it to him and go, Hey, here's the thing, can we have another fake? Thanks.
Kit (as Birdie): You can always go and do that too. You know, I would rather just trust that Juno is going to find them, because Juno actually knows the Guts. Wander doesn't know the Guts. Not even the Drain Boys know the Guts - that's why they send - they send a bunch of kids down to do their dirty work. Okay? So
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well maybe we should have gotten Juno. We didn't run into seven kinds of death and danger on the way out following them.
Kit (as Birdie): Are you seriously going to keep yelling at me about this? Can we walk while you're yelling at least?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yes! Fine.
Kit (as Birdie): Fine. Now you can yell at me. Cool. Go ahead.
Kit: And Birdie turns and walks away from Cassidy.
Sydney: Cassidy walks the other direction.
Kit (as Birdie): You're going the wrong way.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You don't even know where I'm going. Maybe I'm gonna go talk to Wander.
Kit (as Birdie): [over this shit] Fine go talk to Wander. I'm gonna go get fixed up by my sister's wife and I'm gonna have a lovely time and then we can go and make sure that everything is fine, because we're no use to them if we're infected and dead and injured and shit.
Sydney (as Cassidy): And they're no use to us if they're infected and dead and injured and shit, unless we find them.
Kit (as Birdie): Do whatever you want to do, Cassidy. Not stopping you. If you want to go talk to Wander, be my guest. He's not going to help you, not with not with the family thing. Maybe he'll give you a new fake thing. But now we're the ones who owe him, so we need to just figure shit out. Yeah, like, you know, [stressed short laugh] we need to figure shit out so that if you go and talk to Wander that way, [clears throat] he might, he might even kill you.
Sydney (as Cassidy): That way we can get rid of all of our leverage and not be using the person who actually knows anything about what Wander wants and it'll be great. We'll just throw away everything that we came here for.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. I'm not gonna, I'm obviously not gonna talk sense into you, so um if you want to go and do the blatantly stupid thing to do after I'm telling you directly that we need to go and try and get medical attention for ourselves, then you can go and do that.
Kit: And Birdie will turn over her shoulder and continue walking.
Sydney: Cassidy waves as Birdie leaves.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. Good to know that you're not following me. Happy, happy, and you can go and think that our friends are dead for as long as you want, because that does everyone a whole ton of good. Have fun going and getting killed by Wander~.
Sydney (as Cassidy): No I'm gonna find answers for whether our friends are dead.
Kit (as Birdie): [father away sing song] Have fun going and getting killed by Wander~.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Fuck you, Birdie!
Kit (as Birdie): [whistling]
Kit: And Birdie is gonna start whistling as she walks away.
Nick: Okay, so Birdie heads to Winifred's house and Cassidy, where are you going? Are you going to see Wander?
Sydney: Cassidy knows it's a bad idea. Cassidy wanted Birdie to do it. Cassidy probably agrees with Birdie's assessment that she won't be the most effective, but she's trying to weigh whether the limited effectiveness of her holding the thing that Wander wants is enough leverage to get something out of him. Cassidy starts headed towards Wander's office. It is about a 10 minute walk, but as she walks and the emotions of the moment and the energy from Juno's drugs buzzing in her system magnifying things, she realizes that she is probably not - Birdie would have been the one that could have been equipped to talk to Wander, and even if she went in, there's no guarantee that she wouldn't do exactly what she told Birdie that she was going to do and throw away their gains for nothing. And so she keeps walking, not to Wander's, but she doesn't quite know where to go. Winifred is the rational choice, but she's not sure after clashing so many times with Birdie tonight that she has another clash left in her and rather than admitting that her original plan was still the correct plan, she just keeps walking.
Nick: The streets feel even more empty than they did just a minute ago as Cassidy walks alone. Birdie the walk to Winifred, Larry, and Nurse Bliss' house is easier than you expected it to be with the stimulants still running in your system. The roads are fairly empty and it feels very quiet as you walk on your own. When you make it into the Dome and to Winifred's house, as you walk down the idyllic and synthetic country lane where they live, you can see that there are lights on in the house and you're standing at the front gate.
Kit: Birdie is gonna try and just get through the gate as quietly as possible and given that she knows Winifred, she probably knows where Winifred has a habit of stashing away their spare key. What is the chance that Birdie finds it?
Nick: Yeah so the last time you were here Birdie, Maria had told you where the spare key was in an act of welcoming and to make sure you always had somewhere to go. You know it's in a little magnetic box tucked under the porch.
Kit (as Birdie): [sigh/groan] You know, after a day of being in the Guts getting under a porch [mumbles] hardest thing in the world.
Kit: And she'll just mumble to herself as she pulls off her backpack, winces because she's probably got a couple inches of hair pulled off with the backpack from the bottom of the tips of her hair because of the solution that sprayed her in the Guts. So she's gotten this impromptu half haircut, and she'll just groan and then start crawling underneath the porch, and her legs are sticking out, and she's just fumbling around trying to feel for the box. It's kind of a pathetic sight.
Nick: You feel around for a little bit, and then you realize that it's pretty much right above you, where if you had known where to reach where it stuck to the underside of the porch, you wouldn't have had to crawl under here to find it.
Kit (as Birdie): [whining crying][mumbles] That's fine, okay.
Kit: Birdie proceeds to duck out from underneath the porch, hit her head on the way out, and then grab the box and retrieve the key from it.
Nick: Well, Birdie tries to retrieve the key, but when she opens the box, there's nothing in it.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, cool. [groan] Okay. Oh, Winifred forgive me.
Kit: Birdie rubs at her eyes and then blinks blearily and realizes that the lights are on and she could have just knocked and then she just kind of sits in defeat, criss cross applesauce on the sidewalk in front of their house for two seconds, and then pulls up her pack and will stand back up, walk to the door and knock twice, sort of heavily.
Nick: There is a short pause, and then you see in the curtained round glass window set in the door a shadow as someone peeks through, and then the door opens quietly and you see a tired, but clearly awake Maria standing in the door.
Kit (as Birdie): Hey Nurse Bliss.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Hi, Birdie. What - what's going on? It's kind of late.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah ~. I had a really bad mission in the Guts, and was wondering if I could just patch, patch up real fast here.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Yep.
Nick: She nods, doesn't ask any more questions and gestures you into the house.
Kit (as Birdie): Thank you.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Yep.
Kit: Birdie will trudge in, drop her backpack and kick off her shoes, and then will hold her hair back, and while Maria is behind her, will go,
Kit (as Birdie): How bad is the hair?
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Um. That is not something I could give you a professional opinion on, but if you're looking for a more punk look, uh I think you've got a good start.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. I'll ask Vaus to give me a haircut when I'm back.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Yeah, go ahead and sit in the squishy chair in the living room. It's off to the left. I'll be right there. Let me grab my bag.
Kit (as Birdie): You might want to get a towel. I don't want to sit on your couch like this.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): No, the squishy chair, the one with the plastic cover. This happens more than -
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, this is - yeah, I'm sure that Mackenzie likes to baby puke on things still.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Yep, she sure does. And you would be surprised how often your sister comes home, also needing ministration.
Nick: She is already walking down the hallway to the closet where she keeps her work gear.
Kit: Birdie got in front of the chair and then forgot to move and to sit down, so she's pretty out of it. She's very exhausted right now. She'll talk quietly, but hopefully loud enough to allow Maria to still hear her as she's walking around downstairs, and will pick at her fingernails while asking,
Kit (as Birdie): Can I ask for advice also, once we're patching up?
Nick (as Maria Bliss): I am a great multi-tasker.
Nick: She has walked back into the room. She has a heavy leather bag that you know has a professional grade first aid kit. It's basically one step down from a surgeon's kit, and you see she has already slipped on latex gloves and gently grabs you by the shoulders and with a gentle pressure, sits you down onto the chair.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh yeah. Thank you.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Mhm. So we'll do advice in just a second.
Nick: You also see that, besides the bag, she's gotten a very large bowl of warm water with a wash cloth in it.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Where are you hurt? So I know where to start.
Kit (as Birdie): Uh~.
Kit: Birdie will close her eyes and then take stock of all of the places that she was injured enough to need medical attention, and will gesture to the places where she was wrestled by the octopuses and then to the places where the solution got onto her neck and the back of her arms and her upper back.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Ooh, battle wounds. Always fun.
Nick: She gestures at Birdie.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Take as much of this off as you're willing to. I'm gonna need some room to work here.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah yeah, it's okay.
Kit: And Birdie will pull off her over shirt - what's left of it from having the solution shot out at her, and is left in this sports bra slash tank top-ish situation, and will hold her hair to the side to let Maria have more room.
Kit (as Birdie): Is that good?
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Yep, perfect. Thanks.
Nick: And she starts with the wash cloth, just trying to get the muck off of everything so she can see what she's doing.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): I'm going to try to be gentle, but you've been through this before. It's not going to be super comfortable. You might as well start talking and I can listen and work at the same time.
Nick: And she starts trying to get dirt out of everything so she can start bandaging.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. Um well. [deep breath] Um yeah, really, really, horrible mission today. That's the basic gist of it. Cassidy and I got into an argument, I mean, honestly, it feels pretty early on in our time down there now we kind of just - it was more of like a little spat, you know?
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Mhm.
Kit (as Birdie): And then Emma and Marathon got, like, eaten by the floor in the Guts that like collapsed underneath them, and we don't know if they're alive and so Cassidy got more mad. And the whole issue that we're having is that she's frustrated with the fact that I was prepared for some things to a degree in the Guts, but I - but she was frustrated with the fact that I was telling her that you can never be fully 100% prepared for anything the Guts has to throw at you and she's like, Winifred, you know? She's like, have to plan for everything so no one gets hurt.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Mm.
Kit (as Birdie): Takes a lot of things onto herself.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Oh, speaking of being 100% prepared.
Nick: She reaches into the bag and pulls out a plastic bottle.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): There's a lot of electrolytes in this. You're dehydrated. Start drinking.
Kit (as Birdie): Thanks.
Nick: She has moved on to using some sort of medical salve on the sucker wounds from the octopuses.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Looks like you got tentacled pretty good, huh?
Kit (as Birdie): Yep, we ran into a nest of octopuses.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Sorry to hear about your friends. Um, you know what they say until, until they find anything in the Guts you just have to assume no news is good news, right?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, yeah. I just, I feel bad because maybe I just should have been more clear about the fact that Guts is trying to kill anyone who goes in there. I thought that it was pretty obvious, because I've said how dangerous it is, but it's okay. Um. I just, yeah. I don't know if Cassidy and I's friendship is really gonna survive this. I mean, like we walked away from each other tonight with her saying, 'fuck you Birdie' and changing her plan. I mean, I don't know, I don't know what is going on in her head, but she wanted to go here to talk to Winifred and I agreed. And I was like, okay, we can go to Winifred's, and then she completely 180 and went to go somewhere else. And,
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Huh.
Kit (as Birdie): I don't know. It's just like remembering how things were with with Winifred sometimes, with Winifred and Zan, how they'd just get into it. And, I mean, how Zan and I would get into it stuff. It's just
Nick (as Maria Bliss): You've had a rough day. I can tell part of that is because you jumped to Zan off of this, so let's, let's work with one shitty situation at a time. Speaking of shitty situation, uh put that arm up above your head, because it looks like they got down onto your ribs too. I gotta get that clean.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, okay. Yeah, okay.
Kit: And Birdie will do an awkward arm over the head with her hand resting on the opposite ear.
Kit (as Birdie): [shuddering breath] Um.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Yep, perfect.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay uh -
Nick (as Maria Bliss): So you all are mercenaries. Your job is combat, I would assume?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): But you do that fairly often?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. I mean, it's a different kind of mercenary, I guess. I mean, I've said this to them before, but, you know, the Foundlings family, like we had, we had quite a bit of discretion with the jobs that we'd take, just, you know, with how young we were, and kind of the fact that we were given bottom of the barrel jobs. But I mean, you know, even like the stuff that Nona says that she she did with with her group, it was pretty safe and stuff, but I think this group is very concerned with doing what is always the most humane and always the moral way to go, which isn't necessarily true for most mercenary companies.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): I~, you know you hear people say, but I don't know if I've ever actually seen a group that's successful and stays alive and does that, so that - you should be proud of that.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, even if it's not what I'm used to, I'm I'm proud to be a part of a group that doesn't - that leaves places better than they found them.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): That's a good mission statement. Um, I'm biased in that way.
Kit (as Birdie): Well you're a doctor.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): I think that's a good thing to try to do, yeah. Try to help people, right?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, it's just,
Nick (as Maria Bliss): But so like, on that note though, that's pretty, uh, pardon my language, but that's pretty, like, Croos damned unprofessional, isn't it?
Kit (as Birdie): Unprofessional? Which part?
Nick (as Maria Bliss): To react to a difficult combat situation by telling your last remaining compatriot to go fuck themselves?
Kit (as Birdie): [not disagreeing but understanding noises] She's just mad and she's scared. I know that.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Mm.
Kit (as Birdie): I know that she's just afraid that the same thing that happened to her before and the same thing that happened to me before, is gonna be true for this group. And I just I wish that she would, she wouldn't jump to the 'all my friends are dead' as soon as something bad happens to separate us.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Okay, arm down. That's about as clean as I'm gonna make it.
Nick: She walks around to stand in front of you Birdie, and leans over slightly to look into your eyes. You can see she's smiling a little.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): It sounds like you're already pretty aware of what the situation is, and your eyes are very dilated. Are you on something?
Kit (as Birdie): Juno gave me a thingy.
Kit: And she waves your hand kind of, non descriptively.
Kit (as Birdie): One of those tube thingies that you jam into your arm or your leg, and it makes you feel better.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): [concerned doctor] Um~
Kit (as Birdie): I mean,
Nick (as Maria Bliss): I...
Kit (as Birdie): It's great. It's basically how I got here.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Sure. Um, okay, so the good news is, you're alive. The bad news is, I'm not gonna be able to give you anything for the pain, because I have no idea what was in that -
Kit (as Birdie): What?
Nick (as Maria Bliss): And I don't want to kill you.
Kit (as Birdie): Awww. Come on, it's a little [mumbles]
Nick (as Maria Bliss): In the morning, in the morning -
Kit (as Birdie): [whine]
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Nope, nope, nope, nope. Doctor's orders.
Kit (as Birdie): [whining] I shouldn't have gone to a real nurse.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Patches orders.
Kit (as Birdie): [whimpers]
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Yeah, well, you did, and you're not leaving. So
Kit (as Birdie): Vaus would have let me mix substances.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Yeah, and Vaus wouldn't have been as gentle cleaning everything, and you'd probably have gotten an infection.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, that's you have a good point. Well, thank you, either way. Yeah, I just, I hope that she's okay. I know that she needs to do some soul searching of her own, but, you know, I think it's just a shit situation, you know? And I'm really mad at her right now.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): I think everybody's got some pretty strong emotions going and once everyone's calmed down a little bit, I don't think it's out of order to talk about how that made you feel, because you got put through the ringer, and we have been talking about how much that hurt emotionally this whole time.
Kit (as Birdie): Yep.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): So that did more damage than the octopus is what it seems like. I'm not going to tell you what to do here. I - that's up to you. It sounds like you are already kind of processing, but what I will say is you have also been through some pretty horrible shit and lost people, and you don't let - I haven't seen you lash out at others when the time gets tough. So
Kit (as Birdie): I did a little bit of the lashing out. It wasn't completely Cassidy.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Okay. Well, then in that case, revision of advice, don't fucking do that.
Kit (as Birdie): She was immediately going to 'our friends are dead. Our friends are dead. Despair, despair, despair.' And
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): She it was just a blatant like - it put me back to where I was after losing Zan and
Nick (as Maria Bliss): [very sympathetic] Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): I don't think that I acted, I don't think that everything I said was great, but I know that she's lost people too, but just saying stuff like that in the place where I lost my people, or comparing these friends that we have to what I went through, and what Zan went through was really out of line, and I don't feel bad for getting angry with her for doing that.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): No yeah. I wouldn't qualify that as lashing out. That's pretty justifiable emotional response. But hey, come on, stand up.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. [whimper]
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Do a little turn. Let me make sure I didn't miss anything.
Kit: Birdie shuffles in a little circle.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Okay, I'll be gentle. Can I give you a hug?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Nick: She very gently wraps Birdie up. Doesn't squeeze, but you just feel the physical support as she lets you lean into her as much as you want to.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Hey, I think that you are probably at a point with that that you just need some time to absorb what you want to do next, and a lot of what's going to happen has to do with whatever Cassidy comes down with and whatever actually happened to your friends. So why don't you spend the night here? We've got a bed made up. You can just go in there, but
Kit (as Birdie): I might shower first, if that's okay?
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Oh yes, for sure. And then when I have a really rough day, and I'm a little too close to death for too long, you know what helps me?
Kit (as Birdie): What?
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Touching a sleeping baby.
Kit (as Birdie): [surprised laugh with a side of snot] But she's sleeping. I don't want to wake her up.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): No, it's fine.
Kit (as Birdie): And I smell like Guts.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Well, you can shower first, but then, like, you can go poke her cheeks or her little chubby feet. It'll help, I promise. And she'll sleep through it.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. Are you sure she's like, a good sleeper?
Nick (as Maria Bliss): It does. Yeah, I do this all the time. It's fine.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll take you up on that then.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Great.
Kit (as Birdie): Thanks.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Okay, you go shower, and then you'll you get to poke MacKenzie and then you get to sleep until you wake up. Okay, friend?
Kit (as Birdie): Thanks, Nurse Bliss. Still got it.
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Call me Maria.
Kit (as Birdie): No, it's wrong. [laugh]
Nick (as Maria Bliss): Okay. [sigh]
Nick: And Birdie heads off to finish cleaning up and then touch a sleeping baby and sets to resting and healing after the ordeal. Cassidy, where are you going?
Sydney: Cassidy has walked kind of without direction for a little bit through the streets of Merchant's Alley, which even at this hour, still have some people, but it's pretty sparse compared to the throngs when they had gotten their churro bouquet and still had her whole crew with her and just she thinks out of familiarity for the path that she has walked a few times, she ends up in front of the combination bookstore house that is Reed's Books, and she looks at the door and then looks around and considers still walking, but she doesn't really have a place that feels right to go, and then the memory of the cups of tea that she has had here in their planning sessions and social visits remind her of calmer times. Are any of the lights on?
Cameron: The lights up at the front of the store are turned off, but there's a light on towards the back of the cafe by the book club room shining through so it does look like there is someone down there, but the shop is closed.
Sydney: Cassidy approaches the front door and gives a soft three knocks.
Cameron: It takes a minute and then you hear some shuffling on the other side of the door of numerous locks and other mechanisms being moved around. And then the doors open, and Janus is standing there barefoot in a pair of gray sweatpants and a large long sleeve Reed's Books t shirt that looks like it probably belongs to Nate, given the size of it on her.
Cameron (as Janus): Cassidy! Hi.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Hi, things went to shit. Do you know how to talk to Winifred or get a hold of her?
Cameron (as Janus): Uh yeah, yeah. Come come on in.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Thanks.
Sydney: Cassidy is not quite dripping anything, but her clothes are not clean with the accumulated grime of squeezing past things and octopus blood.
Cameron: Janus closes the door behind Cassidy.
Cameron (as Janus): Are you okay?
Sydney (as Cassidy): No.
Cameron (as Janus): Mentally, physically, emotionally?
Sydney (as Cassidy): All of the above.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay, all right. Would tea help?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Sure if we can do it while we figure out how to get Winifred.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. Yep, that is, is a process I can multitask on.
Cameron: And Janus heads off towards the cafe side of the shop.
Sydney: Cassidy follows, picks a cafe chair, throws her bag down on the floor with a jangle of tools, and then collapses into the chair.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I've probably got 30 minutes until Juno's stimulants wear off, and at that point I will probably crash horribly. Um.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay, noted and thank you for the warning. All right, um.
Cameron: Janus has reached the other side of the tea counter and is messing around on a tablet screen and then sets it down.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay, so messaged both Winfred and Maria.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Birdie went to Maria, so.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay, well, one of them will see it. That's my normal, that's my my normal plan to get Winifred to respond is to also tell Maria that I'm trying to get a hold of Winifred but,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): Do you want your normal Chai?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Um do you - what do you have that's relaxing?
Cameron (as Janus): Um I've got a sleepy time.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Sure.
Cameron (as Janus): It makes you kind of sleepy.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, it's -
Sydney: Cassidy looks around for a clock.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - the middle of the night.
Cameron (as Janus): It's like two in the morning.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): All right, we'll do that one.
Cameron: Janus turns around to the loose leaf tea containers and starts making up two cups of tea.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Um why why are you up?
Cameron (as Janus): Oh, I was reading.
Sydney (as Cassidy): This checks out.
Cameron (as Janus): I don't have a - I don't have a good reason for it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Just a good book.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. Yeah, good book. And I'm not opening the store tomorrow morning, so I don't have to get up super early unless the twins wake me up but, eh - I just have to, if I, if I do have to wake up early, it's to be a mom not to interact with non family members.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): So more doable.
Sydney: Cassidy is just staring off into space.
Cameron (as Janus): [cautious] So you said Birdie went to Winifred's?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh huh.
Cameron (as Janus): If were looking, if you were looking for Winifred, why didn't you go to Winifred's?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Um because I was too busy having a giant argument with Birdie.
Cameron (as Janus): Ah. Okay.
Cameron: Janus rolls her lips in slightly and is [laughing] deciding how to have this conversation, as she has not been handed a ton of info from Cassidy, but it's obvious that something is very not good. So she flips on the hot water kettle and looks back over to Cassidy.
Cameron (as Janus): So would the big argument was Birdie be in any way related to it just being the two of you?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Do you want me to get into it?
Cameron (as Janus): Uh yeah, if, if, if you want to, I'm, I'm happy to sit quietly with you or go get my book and just let you drink tea while we wait for Winifred, but if you, if you want to talk to someone who's not Birdie, I am, I am also willing to listen and or talk.
Sydney: Cassidy puts her face in her hand, like her hand as a starfish, and then looks back up at Janus.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Our other two friends are probably, maybe dead.
Cameron (as Janus): Mm. Well, what what happened?
Sydney (as Cassidy): The floor opened up and swallowed them, and then a bunch of debris fell on where they went and probably down the hole after them.
Cameron (as Janus): Mm. Yeah, that's not good. Um, I, I would, I would, I would offer you a a glimmer of hope in that Birdie literally got thrown off of the city from the Guts and made it so, it is, it is not - it's not at all guaranteed.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh huh.
Cameron (as Janus): But I mean falling is not great ever, really, but I until, until you find out for sure, I wouldn't go immediately to full despair. Heavy concern, very fair. Is it that that's why you're looking for for Winifred to see if -?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah to see if she can help find them.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Find evidence.
Cameron (as Janus): Do you know where you were when it happened?
Sydney (as Cassidy): I know landmarks. Juno was around too. So eventually Juno helped me and Birdie get out.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay. Was was Juno gonna look for them?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): All right, weirdly, in in this situation, I do think Juno is gonna have a better chance of tracking them down than Winifred. Anything above ground, or above ground floor for Sasnak, everything's above ground - I'd go Winifred 100% right choice there. Juno, Juno has spent so much time in the Guts and has been mapping it and probably, while isn't as hooked into the city technology as Winifred is, still is hooked in down there, so I would still think reaching out to Winifred good plan, but I think you've got a you got a good shot with Juno.
Cameron: And the kettle beeps behind Janus and she turns back around and picks it up and then pours over two strainers into the two cups.
Sydney (as Cassidy): It's just hard to think that this time is going to be the one that's different.
Cameron (as Janus): I understand that. It it took me, it took me a long time to feel confident going back. I guess it's not confidence, comfortable going back into a job after the one went wrong with Birdie and Zan and I wasn't, I wasn't even at that one so I didn't - I didn't have the added trauma of seeing it go wrong,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): But it did - it was rough to do jobs for a while afterwards with anyone else. If it was just me, I felt good about my ability to keep myself as safe as I could, and if anything terrible happened, it was just to me,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): - and there wasn't anybody else at risk. So I understand that feeling of not wanting to let yourself hope so that if it turns out that it is the worst case scenario, you don't -
Sydney (as Cassidy): [overlap] You're already prepared for it.
Cameron (as Janus): [overlap] - it's not as - [end overlap] yeah, you're - the crushing doesn't happen again.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Mhm.
Cameron (as Janus): So while I will, while I will recommend some optimism, I realize that it's not as easy as just saying, just think that it will be fine.
Sydney (as Cassidy): How - I guess sorry in advance to throw all your trauma out on the table for me to look at - you, my, I have gathered that you and Winifred had a big falling out after that?
Cameron (as Janus): Yes. [harsh exhale] That is a correct assessment.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I suspect something similar may have happened this time.
Cameron (as Janus): Ah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): My - I understood Birdie's knowledge of the situation to be much higher, and found out when we got down in the Guts that her knowledge was 'can't prepare for anything. Sometimes things just happen.' And then things happened, and our friends had whatever happened, and in that situation, I blamed her, and it's hard for me to draw any conclusions other than either it's her fault or it's my fault for having put my trust in her.
Cameron (as Janus): Mm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): And I needed to put everything in my control for me to be able to know that it was mine, like that, it could have been done.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. So -
Cameron: Janus leans forward onto the counter on her elbows and grips her hands together.
Cameron (as Janus): It - that does sound amazingly similar to what occurred with Winifred and I. I think there were some of the differences with it was that I wasn't there and that was that was our, our big thing was the same questioning of, would it have gone differently had I been there and was there - was was there - was there something that the four of them did wrong that caused that to happen. I think I've reacted very similar to how it sounds you did where my immediate thing was to need to put blame somewhere. I couldn't blame Birdie and Zan because they were dead.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Mhm.
Cameron (as Janus): Vaus was horribly wounded and had just watched their partner get blown up. So Winifred was the only one who came out of that situation physically healthy, and she was our big sister. She was - I idolized her. She was the coolest person I'd ever met. She's still pretty cool, but I've, I've - in in younger Janus' eyes Winifred is peak level coolness.
Cameron: And Janus removes the strainers from the tea cups and walks around to the table where Cassidy is at and sets one in front of her and then takes a seat across from her.
Cameron (as Janus): So I, I think part of, part of my, my blame landed on her because she was the only one who felt safe to blame. And I thought that Winifred could do everything and knew everything and seeing, seeing that proven wrong and having, having a job that she was leading go wrong was a shock to the pedestal I built up to put her on, on top of the rest of the emotional devastation occurring of having lost two siblings, almost losing someone who we were - was family, we were beginning to see as like a fully fledged Foundling, and knowing that I could have lost all four of them, and I didn't - I didn't realize that last bit was part of it at all until a fair amount of therapy later and lots of conversations with Nate and Juno. There was a lot of my immediate reaction of of questioning why Winifred had done this job without Juno and I there was, was that an immediate lashing out response of, surely, surely, I could have done something. But [sigh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): You have to trust that Winifred knew what she was doing when she prepared for the mission?
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. And I think the logical part of me knew that she did. Like, I think consistently through it no part of me ever thought that, or truly thought at least, there were a lot of feelings happening that stuff got muddied with, was it anger or sadness or what - but I knew that Winifred would never go on a job foolheartedly. Like things can sometimes go wrong, and you can, you can only control for so much and I think that that is that's a that's particularly true in the Guts. From a from an outside perspective of the rest of y'all looking at Birdie, she did grow up here. We did a lot of jobs down in the Guts when we were younger and growing up and were, I would say, quite familiar with being down there and knowing what you should watch out for. But part of the thing with this city is that it's a machine. It requires fairly constant maintenance to keep up and running and - how to say this, I'll say the resources are not necessarily spread out equitably amongst the things that need to be maintained. If things go horribly wrong to some piece of something that's running the city down in the Guts, it's out of sight, out of mind for a lot of people. So it's not it's not important to keep up as much as the glass in the Domes, or something that the common citizen is going to be seeing on a daily basis. And because of that, the Guts is a very unpredictable place. There are - there's definitely sections of it that are far safer than others, but a lot of it, the the jobs tend to - there will be a section of the Guts that gets a lot of attention because something went wrong, like a sewer pipe burst or something, and it started spewing sewer loveliness up into Merchant's Alley.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I hear that happened to y'all.
Cameron (as Janus): Oh, yeah, no, that was that was different. Yeah, that was yeah mhm. If it's the incident I believe you were talking about, that would just be Zan and Juno being Zan and Juno, not necessarily a problem with how the city would have been had we not been there. That was a person caused issue there.
Sydney: Cassidy takes a experimental sip of her drink with both hands so that the cup does not shake too much.
Cameron (as Janus): So like some something, when something happens that normal people see, money gets funneled there. So there'll be a whole lot of work crews sent down that's not just paying the Drain Boys to quote, unquote, "maintain things", but like -
Sydney (as Cassidy): To send the kids in?
Cameron (as Janus): - electrical engineers and certified plumbers, like people who are adults who know what they're doing and are good at their jobs, they'll go down and they'll fix up an area, and it'll be great. And then the area to the right of it will go to shit, and then they'll go over there, and it's, it's, it's kind of they just constant cycle around the city. So if, if you're in one of those older, or I guess it's not older areas, the area that hasn't been one of those problem sections in a while, that just means that it has, it is becoming a problem section again. And [sigh] I - honestly Birdie is probably overconfident in her familiarity with the Guts at this point, just because of how variable it is.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, I think it kind of flip flopped halfway through, when at the beginning it was fine, and then stuff started happening, and then it couldn't have been avoided.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, there's, there's always something. There are certain, certain things you can plan for in the Guts, being aware of the fact that you could run into octopuses, which it appears you all did, and so being armed and having some way to protect yourself, having a first aid kit on you because stuff happens and there's sewer in a lot of places so you want to keep things clean immediately, but it's hard to - it's hard to predict oh, well, the like what happened with Zan and Birdie was they, they got sent in to fix something, and it was something that, like we had fixed similar things before. Winifred knew that it was within our skill set to do that. However, it was - when they got there it was more broken but wasn't immediately apparent, and so they they were as prepared as they knew to be. It was something they felt that they were skilled enough to handle, but it was slightly worse than they were anticipating, and something, something went wrong, and it happened. The, I don't know if you, if you, if you noticed as you're walking around, there's a fair amount of just like deep holes into nothingness.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, we saw a couple.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. Uh.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Emma and Marathon saw it up close.
Cameron (as Janus): Mm. Yep. Sometimes those just happen and it's, it's not necessarily that they they weren't well maintained. It's that they look totally fine, until suddenly, the instant that they're not. And so it is you can, you can be as prepared as you know to be and be aware of the fact that there are potential dangers everywhere, but even then you you could be walking down a staircase that looks completely stable, and every step you've stepped on so far has been completely stable, and then one step down, which looks exactly like the one you just stepped on, isn't, and your foot goes through. So,
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, does that - does that mean that for every staircase in the Guts, you put a rope between everyone to be able to haul them back out? Or do you just shrug and go sometimes you fall, and sometimes it's to your death?
Cameron (as Janus): I think it's somewhere in the middle. I think if you go into a situation trying to control for every single variable, you're never going to accomplish anything because you can't take care of every single variable. Because, sure maybe take, take this the option you're walking down set of stairs. It occurs to you, a step could give way and someone could fall, so you tie everyone together. All right, cool. Now, if, if that, if the stairway that you're on is what gives up, you're prepared, you'll catch someone. If the staircase above the staircase that you're on suddenly comes down on top of you, did, I don't know, did you bring your staircase umbrella? Like, I don't know how -
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't - they should really make those,.
Cameron (as Janus): You know, I don't know if there's a ton of situations where they're really gonna be useful, though. But there's like that - that's what, that's what I mean when I say, like the you can't predict for everything.
Sydney (as Cassidy): But if you just proceed and you go, I can't predict anything, then you -
Sydney: And Cassidy flexes her hand, which looks a little bit scorched.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I followed Birdie's advice to take it as it comes, and then got shocked by something that in other circumstances I could have seen.
Cameron (as Janus): So - wait how - what do you mean? What what like what shocked you?
Sydney (as Cassidy): A live circuit.
Cameron (as Janus): Ehh. All right, so I will say um, knowing that the location that you're in is full of hazards that you can't necessarily predict doesn't mean that you don't use your brain and try to predict as many as you can. I feel like maybe touching electronics is one where you check on it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): There's no answer. We we predict [laugh] you predict exactly the right things?
Cameron (as Janus): No. I mean, I think things can always go wrong, and something's always gonna be slightly different than you expected it to be. If things were always exactly as you expected, life would be incredibly boring. Not that, like you need to be electrocuted to keep life interesting.
Sydney (as Cassidy): It was pretty shocking.
Cameron (as Janus): Aha ha ha. Drink your tea.
Cameron: And Janus takes a sip of her own tea.
Sydney: Cassidy takes a longer sip now that it's cooled a little more.
Cameron (as Janus): It's you - you want to be as careful as you can be without allowing that to put you into paralysis of not being able to do anything, because what if something happened? You can proceed cautiously. You step carefully. If you're going to grab something electronic, maybe look to see if there's a breaker nearby to turn it off first. You take what steps you can but you could be driving along in your truck, and there's a there's a tire - [laugh] there's a tire in the road? There could be a tire in the road, I meant to say a nail in the road. It could be a nail. You drive over the nail, it pops your tire. Okay, well, when you know that, that's a possibility, so you have a spare tire. But it didn't stop that bad thing from happening initially, you still got it flat, but you were prepared for it. Y'all didn't go down there without weapons to protect yourself, I'm assuming, since I can see your bow.
Sydney: Cassidy shifts to show the gun on her hip as well.
Cameron (as Janus): And a gun. You take what precautions you can and you try to be as smart as you can, but there's there is only so much you can control.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, but one of the precautions we took is that Birdie had, I don't know, ethanol octopus repellent in her bag.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): She didn't tell us to bring more of and then threw out in the fight with a bunch of octopuses and then, because we didn't know what it was, Marathon poured it on herself and then Birdie lit the room on fire. And fortunately, that ended okay, but I that's only by luck.
Cameron (as Janus): [laugh] I'd just like to say, I'm not, I'm not surprised Marathon was the one who poured it on herself.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean I'm not either, but if we had known what it was - that's I'm like, I don't I don't know where is the line where I can draw and go it's, you know, my fault for not having planned for the eventualities of the things that Birdie has in her pack.
Cameron (as Janus): So while going into it knowing that octopuses are a very real threat that y'all could run into, potentially y'all all having ethanol on you could have been beneficial, and like at least informing Marathon of what it was before she dumped it on herself, probably would have been a good idea. But I mean, would if, if you had had a bottle, like a cup like that size -
Cameron: Janus points at the tea cup.
Cameron (as Janus): - full of ethanol on you when you encountered octopuses, would that have changed that situation? The fire thing might have been prevented, because ideally, everyone would know that there was a flammable liquid involved, and so maybe don't douse yourself in the flammable liquid. But even if y'all each had a jug of it, that only gets you through so many octopus. You probably still would have,
Sydney (as Cassidy): [overlapping] No, I was more effective with my bow.
Cameron (as Janus): [overlapping] I'm gonna guess, draw the bow.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yep.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, because that that's how you're most efficient is you can you can archery. You can take out numerous targets at a distance, a far, far longer distance than what you can splash alcohol onto. Emma'd probably have the sword that she talks about. You're gonna get, you're gonna kill more octopus that way with the weapons that you're trained with, than you are with a jug of liquid. So Birdie - Birdie's thing has kind of always been her backpack. She's, she has [fond laugh], there's, there's so many things in Birdie's backpack.
Cameron: And Janus rubs up in between her eyebrows and her forehead.
Cameron (as Janus): So, so, so much in the backpack. But part of Birdie, Birdie's thing, like your bow and Emma's sword, is Birdie's backpack. It's full of magical things that Birdie can pull out in any situation, be it explosives or ethanol to disintegrate octopuses.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Vinegar to neutralize whatever random crap falls out of the wall.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, like she's, there's, there's so much stuff she has in there, and that that's part of her utility on the team, is that if you need something, Birdie probably has it in her backpack, or she has something similar to it that could be used for the same thing. The tools that she uses are not going to be the best tools for the rest of you to use, because if all, if you're all doing the exact same thing, then you're not as accomplishing as much. I will say, I do think a warning probably should have been given on what the liquid is if it's going to be introduced in that situation, but that's part of - well, it's not her charm - that's part of her thing. So in that situation, she knew that octopuses were a thing that you could encounter, and having been a roommate to many a Biscuits knew it was something that would be useful to have on her. That's not going to be the best tool for all of you, though. How many - how many octopuses were you fighting?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh~. [pause] I killed 15?
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah. The fact that you're taking this long to tell me a number means it was a lot.
Sydney (as Cassidy): There was a lot.
Cameron (as Janus): Yep. So how much damage do you think y'all would have accomplished if the only thing that you relied on was ethanol?
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't the big one didn't really care that much, so
Cameron (as Janus): Ooh there was a big one? How big?
Sydney: Cassidy rolls up the sleeve on her arm to show the sucker marks.
Cameron (as Janus): Oh my goodness. Big, big. Okay.
Sydney (as Cassidy): But Emma cut it in half. So
Cameron (as Janus): Yep and you know that's something that she wouldn't have been able to do if she had her sword on her back and was throwing ethanol around.
Sydney (as Cassidy): She did have ethanol on the sword.
Cameron (as Janus): Then that's just her skill set and Birdie's skill set pairing together to be more effective.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [sighs in shit she's making sense]
Cameron (as Janus): That's that's part of - you want you want a bunch of different skill sets on your team, because different people know to look out for different things, not to wrap back around to a sore subject, but I'm sure if, if, when you had approached the thing that you electrocuted yourself on, and you'd had Emma with you, you would not have touched it, right?
Sydney (as Cassidy): I would have let Emma do it.
Cameron (as Janus): Exactly. That's you let the - each of you has your own, your own thing that makes you useful to each other with with
Sydney (as Cassidy): It's hard when my standards for the things that I know are very safe and reasoned, and then I'd see Birdie leading and her standards are, if everyone's alive, it's fine.
Cameron (as Janus): I I can see - it's probably going to be shocking for you, but I can see that you and Birdie have very different personalities.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, weird.
Cameron (as Janus): I don't know if you'd noticed. But I think I'm, I'm probably, I'm more like you. I would like to be as in control as I can be, and that's, I think that's part of the reason why I had so much problems initially when the accident happened. It's because I wasn't, I wasn't there. I had, I had zero ability to make any impact on that situation and there are still times when I'll get in a mood and will spend a night wondering, would it have been okay if Juno and I were there? Would would we not have lost Birdie for seven years? Would Zan still be here? I don't, I don't think that when you, when you have that desire for the control, I don't think that feeling ever really goes away with the wondering if, if you could have done something to prevent it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): No, it, it doesn't, and it -
Sydney: Cassidy taps her finger on her scar with the side of her finger.
Sydney (as Cassidy): This came from a time where I lost a bunch of friends, and I keep wondering if I could have done something and it's not the only time that's happened, so
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): It's hard to sit on my hands. I know you sent your message to Winifred, Juno is already working - I could go talk to the crazy council person, but I don't know that that is the most effective course of action.
Cameron (as Janus): I would say, probably no. The council doesn't tend to Guts much, but I - so in contrast to our need of control, there are more, I'll say more laid back people who life has, either they were always that way, or life has taught them that they aren't fully in control, so they do what they can, but realize that you can't control every other person because they're going to do what they're going to do. You can't fully control your environment because of the just the conditions of the world of things decay, things break, new things grow. When, when you when you've seen that stuff just happens even when you do do your best to control it, sometimes you just end up in that seemingly non-caring attitude of, if it happens, it happens. But I would, in this particular instance, I would remind you that the last job that Birdie was on in the Guts, everything did go wrong, and it wasn't something they had control of, and it killed the sibling she was probably closest to, even if they had their ups and downs, at least the sibling she was most alike in that way, and then was thrown off of the city to be alone for seven years.
She knows to have a healthy respect for the Guts. But there's also probably, well there's prob- there's definitely a lot of trauma and baggage around the Guts as well, and probably some deep seated fears too, but the recognition that I don't think Birdie in any way blames Winifred for what happened. I don't think she blames Zan or herself or Vaus either. That's the things sometimes go wrong, and they they were as careful as they knew to be, but something unexpected happened, and something unexpected can always happen. So take that into consideration when looking at her, her approach to the Guts, probably especially her reaction to watching two more people disappear into the Guts. Y'all have, y'all have both lost people in in ways that you wish you could have done something about, but it happened, and something happened again, today - yesterday? It's too early in the morning - in the past 24 hours. So I would, I would give both of you some grace, because y'all both have help both have some shit that y'all have in this arena of having people get taken away from you and I think everyone reacts to that a little differently, and even if Birdie seems much more hands off, uncaring, not worried about it, leadership style than your,. I wouldn't take that to mean that she cares any less than you do about it. Y'all just have very different, different needs for yours- for the way that you both think about things to give yourself comfort. Does that make sense?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah I don't think she was trying to, like, get us killed.
Cameron (as Janus): I think that's a good thing to think, yes. It's I don't, I don't - I don't think either of y'all wanted bad things to happen, but sometimes bad things do happen, and there, there is only so much you can do to be aware of it and to prevent things.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Do everything we can and hope it's enough. And it wasn't this time.
Cameron (as Janus): I think, I think circling, circling all the way back to I think your original question for the me versus Winifred, the like the thing that helped me get over it, and I think helped Winifred get over it, because I I said things in the immediate aftermath of the accident that hurt Winifred, and -
Sydney (as Cassidy): I might have yelled, 'fuck you Birdie' as I was walking away.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. Like I said, I think I align with with how you react on things. Initially, because I needed somewhere to aim stuff, and Winifred was the one who was healthy and safe to aim stuff at, I aimed it at Winifred and I made her think that I held her responsible for what happened. Looking back at younger me then, I never actually believed that, but at that time what I needed was for some reason that it had happened because I couldn't accept that oh well, something just went wrong.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh huh.
Cameron (as Janus): Because,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well because things don't go wrong if you're, if you have everything under control.
Cameron (as Janus): Because if the world is a perfect situation, nothing ever goes wrong. The world is rarely a perfect situation, as much as we try to force it to be with what we prepare for. But one of the things that I think hurt our relationship the most was that when I realized that I didn't actually feel like the words that I said made it seems that I felt, I just accepted that for myself and I did, I did not go and talk to Winifred, because I think, I think I was, I definitely was - I was scared to talk to her, because I knew that I had hurt her and I knew that having that conversation would make her more more human in my eyes. I couldn't have that conversation with her and maintain the pedestal that I had her on, so I I didn't go and talk to her immediately, because I was I was scared she was gonna lash out at me the same way that I had at her, and then I felt that it had been too long, and so now it was just gonna be awkward if I went and talked to her about it and apologized. And then it kept getting more and more awkward the longer I didn't do it. And then it was seven years, and we had the conversation when Birdie got back. That was the catalyst. One of one of those people came back to life and was not happy with with how we had reacted to her.
Sydney (as Cassidy): So I just need to have Emma and Marathon come back, and then they can tell me to go talk to Birdie.
Cameron (as Janus): I mean they - you definitely can. I - the situation that that puts you in, though, is that then if, if they don't come back, then you're all alone.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Wouldn't be the first time.
Cameron (as Janus): No, but still not ideal.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Sure.
Cameron (as Janus): Like you, you have, you have a friend who is definitely still fine, or as semi beat up as you are at the moment, if you leave that and you you don't maintain that friendship, even if, like, if, if Emma were to walk in that door right now and yell at you and tell you to go talk to Birdie, your your relationship would be weaker for it, because one of your other friends had to tell you that that was the right thing to do. It's never going to feel as genuine. I don't know if you've noticed when you've been in the room with us, but there's still awkwardness with me and Winifred. Part of it is that we - there were seven years where we didn't really talk, but the other part of it is that neither one of us ever crossed that bridge. We both stood at our side of it and were like, 'yep, that's a bridge all right' and didn't do anything about it until Birdie got back and was at the middle of the bridge, and we both went to Birdie. So both of us know that if, if Birdie had truly died that day or had never come back, we wouldn't be talking right now and that's that's not a good feeling. There's always going to be the knowledge there that neither one of us valued our relationship enough to take that first step towards healing it without someone else telling us that we needed to. So like I said, you definitely can wait, but you'll always know, and she'll always know that the two kind of friendly peacekeepers amongst your group were the only reason that y'all have a relationship, and I think that would be sad. And being in that situation with with someone I deeply care about, I would, I would recommend not doing that, because I both, I both judge Winifred and I judge myself for the fact that neither one of us did anything, and we had seven years to do it. There is, yeah, there were, there were numerous life events that we were there. I went to Winifred and Maria's wedding. She came to mine. We were in family photos, and we said the the barest, least feeling congratulations. That was that was sad. We missed out on a lot. Part of that was the just the time that it was spent, but
Sydney (as Cassidy): Someone's got to take the first step.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. And the and the longer you wait to do it, the more the anger and disappointment kind of gets turned inward at yourself for not doing it, but also at them for not doing it. And I would say if the last thing between the two of you that occurred was you yelling, 'fuck you Birdie',
Sydney (as Cassidy): Probably my job.
Cameron (as Janus): - you would probably be the best person to start that. [laugh] And there's no guarantee that y'all are ever gonna see 100% eye to eye on things. And having different perspectives is part of the strength of a group. You want a diverse group to have diverse ideas to get you to the best place. But if, if you have that diverse group and never take advantage of that, or view anything that's not what makes you most comfortable as the correct way or the right way or the best way to do something, you lose a lot of the the power that you gain by having that group in the first place. You might as well just be you with some robots at that point.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Robots do have their place, but
Cameron (as Janus): Yep and they, there are definitely situations where it's far better to send in robots, but they're not quite the dinner conversation partners as people. They're not going to care about you like human friends would.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Thanks for the perspective, Janus.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): And the tea and opening the door at two in the morning to an acquaintance, a friend of Birdie's. Well…
Cameron (as Janus): You know, I think it's a good sign that you just called yourself a friend of Birdie's. But of course.
Cameron: Janus gets up and picks up the empty teacups and takes them over to the counter and takes a look at her tablet to see if she's gotten any response back. Janus reads the message on the tablet screen and sets it back down and turns to Cassidy.
Cameron (as Janus): All right, so heard back from Maria.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay.
Cameron (as Janus): Winifred is at work. She said probably we won't hear anything from her until tomorrow morning. That's that's fairly common in the after effects of a Turning.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I understand her hours are long and complicated.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. Yep, they're and they're unpredictable too, which is annoying, but it's besides the point. So Birdie is staying over there tonight, as judging by the time you gave me when you got here, you were about to just like -
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah~
Cameron (as Janus): - conk out?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Feeling like shit.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. So um you're welcome to stay here. We've got a guest room and a nice hot shower that you can use.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Can I borrow a shirt from Nate?
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. Yes.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't - he's more my, well, he's, he's bigger than me, but it's bigger is easier to tie up or whatever.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, his, his stuff's gonna fit better than mine does, at least just the height differential. But, yeah, why don't we get you up there? I'll grab you some clean clothes to sleep in, and we will we'll hear back from Winifred in the morning.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We've done what we can.
Cameron (as Janus): I'll also, I'll send a quick message to Juno to let him know that you're here, and so that if he has any info, he can send it to me, and I can give it to you and and hopefully you feel better in the morning. I should have asked this when you came in, do you have any like wounds that need to get looked at?
Sydney (as Cassidy): No. I mean, yes wounds, nothing to look at. The skin's not broken, so it's just gonna kind of be suffering for a bit.
Cameron (as Janus): All right. Well,
Sydney (as Cassidy): I'll get over it.
Cameron (as Janus): I will I will bring you some clean clothes and some water and some pain meds and
Sydney (as Cassidy): Thank you.
Cameron (as Janus): You'll you'll feel at least physically better in the morning. We'll get you back there on the other two mentally, spiritually.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, it'll be a lot easier if we hear something good. But [sigh]
Cameron (as Janus): I realize this may not be as comforting coming from me being his twin and having full faith in them, but Juno will find them, and Juno will get them back to you no matter what.
Sydney: Cassidy shrugs.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I will choose to believe you.
Cameron (as Janus): Good, because I'm right. Let's go to bed.
Cameron: And Janus walks over to the book club room and flips the light off inside and waves an arm to Cassidy to usher her upstairs.
Sydney: Cassidy grabs her pack, which seems much heavier than it did when she put it down, and follows.
Nick: And we see Reed's Books from the outside and the lights blink off one by one.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind