Welcome to a special flashback episode from the Patreon archives featuring the Foundlings right before they adopt Birdie.
Welcome to a special flashback episode from the Patreon archives featuring the Foundlings right before they adopt Birdie.
Cast:
- Zan Foundling is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Winifred Foundling is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Janus Foundling is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Our GM and narrator is Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Juno Foundling is played by Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- Industrial Noise » Outdoor Industrial Fan 2 by RayGunV. Link & License.
- Street Blues - Acoustic Steel Guitar and Bass by JuliusH. Link & License.
- Two Grands - Piano Bar Music - Jazz by JuliusH. Link & License.
- Additional music by Oleksii Holubiev from Pixabay.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
- Our Website
- Twitter
- Join our Patreon
- Join our Discord
A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Bonus Episode: Sasnak 1: Removing the Temptation
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[breaking news music begins]
Sydney: We interrupt your regularly scheduled podcast with a breaking news bulletin:
Your editor Sydney just moved 2000 miles across the country with her partner and two cats and made it successfully! However, the move has left her currently without the resources necessary for editing the upcoming content to her satisfaction. Instead, this week you loyal listeners are being rewarded with a bonus episode from the Patreon archives! This is the first Sasnak flashback episode, originally aired in September 2022. If it's up your alley, the rest of the arc is already available for your Patreon listening pleasure. Your regular AKOSAP content will return in two weeks. Enjoy!
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Janus Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as Juno Foundling.
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Zan Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Winifred Foundling.
Kit: Kit Adames as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s Patreon messages:
We’ve got the first episode of a new fully canon arc for you here today. This story follows the Foundlings, a crew of orphans doing their best to stay fed as they do odd jobs for food on the giant roaming city of Sasnak Traveling. This takes place about 15 years prior to the main feed, starring a new, charming set of characters, and features our own Kit Adames as GM. We’re also using a new game system for this arc - Blades in the Dark, a tabletop role-playing game about a crew of daring scoundrels seeking their fortunes which normally takes place on the haunted streets of an industrial-fantasy city, and in our case, we’re using the custom AKoSaP setting instead. Hope you enjoy!
And with that, we wrap up today’s Patreon announcements and head into Sasnak 1: Removing the Temptation. And so...
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
Episode Start:
Kit: Smoke billows into the somewhat smoggy air of an early afternoon on Sasnak Traveling. The smoke of course coming from a very, very small fire from the singular explosion that happened on the latest adventure of the Foundling family. And, as the four mid-to-older teenagers walk away from a job well done, we see the leader of the group standing tall. Winifred Foundling, if you would please describe your character.
Sydney: Winifred is average to slightly above average height. She's got long, straight black hair that glistens iridescently as it moves in the light. Her face is angular, with full lips and a beauty mark on her right cheek. She's got on a very precise full face of makeup that is totally unnecessary for going out and doing field work in the city. She's wearing at least a somewhat utilitarian cat suit with a bandolier stretched across her chest, but it feels very precisely chosen to accentuate the right parts of her figure. She moves with confidence and is consulting a small glowing screen of a tablet in front of her.
Kit: And as the Founding family moves forward, they are met with the somewhat wealthier than them, at least, leader of a group on Sasnak Traveling called the Ramp Girls who take careful watch over the ramp that leads up to the entrance of Sasnak Traveling for the many nomads and tourists that might happen across it on their journeys. Her name is Amelia. She's very tall, has bright chestnut red-ish auburn hair, and she looks slightly unamused if at all because of the explosion that happened that should not have gone off but happened nonetheless. And her eyes cast down immediately on one of the older members of the family, Zan Foundling. What does she see?
Penn: Zan is looking suspiciously singed. They've got warm dark skin, a mischievous gap tooth smile, their hair is shaved sides with kinky dark brown mess on top. And they're wearing a sports jacket that looks pretty dusty and maybe just like they picked it up off the ground and the little locket around their neck with a turtleneck and they've got suspicious confidence about them.
Kit (as Amelia): I'm assuming this was your fault.
Penn (as Zan): I have no idea what you're talking about. By the way, I was wondering if maybe some time we could, for in exchange for this of course, we could uh, I don't know, bring an X Bike up the ramp some time?
Kit (as Amelia): That's a little above your paygrade bud.
Penn (as Zan): {slight grumbling] Okay. Okay Amelia, we'll see.
Kit: She looks up at the sky and visibly counts to three under her breath and looks down at the other two.
Kit (as Amelia): I expect that nothing is going to be stolen from down there. We already have enough problems with the bullies as it is.
Kit: And she's looking very pointedly at Janus when she says that. Janus, can you describe your character?
Cameron: Janus is short. Is probably about five foot which makes her look even younger than she actually is. But she has fairly pale skin like she doesn't go outside all that often, has blonde hair that she has up in two space buns. She has large round glasses that pair almost exactly in shape and size with the very large pair of hoops she has in her ears. She is also wearing a turtleneck and has a canvas motorcycle jacket over it and it's not surprising looking at her that she's the one that Amelia is the most concerned about. She is nonchalantly swinging around a croquet mallet and has her nails all painted black and they're very chipped. She looks like trouble.
Kit: Amelia just sort of blinks and narrows her eyes and is like,
Kit (as Amelia): Right? You didn't steal anything, right? Please?
Cameron (as Janus): Of course not.
Kit (as Amelia): I don't even know why I asked. I don't believe you.
Nick (as Juno): No, it's fine. I watched her the whole time. She didn't steal anything this time, Amelia. And if she did, you know I would narc on her and give it back.
Kit (as Amelia): Yes, I know. I can always count on you, Juno.
Nick (as Juno): It's not that I'm disloyal. Just don't look at me like that. I can't handle it.
Cameron (as Janus): I'll look at you how I want to look at you.
Penn (as Zan): You're so embarrassing Juno.
Sydney (as Winifred): Kids.
Nick: Juno and Janus are elbowing each other back and forth.
Kit: Amelia takes a beat of silence as the small bout of bickering happens and then looks back down at Juno.
Kit (as Amelia): I appreciate your honesty every time you come around here.
Kit: Juno, would you please describe your character?
Nick: Juno is about the same height as Janus. They have a lot of similarities in their face and their body structure, but that's about where it ends. Juno just looks very unhappy to be here. That seems to be his default facial expression. He's got a pair of square spectacles on that always are dripping down his face. He has a buzz cut that is almost a shaved head but pretty uneven, darker hair, is chewing on the inside of his cheek and constantly flexing and unflexing his hands. He's wearing a really ratty button down shirt and some canvas pants and over that he's wearing what looks like a lab coat if it was made out of fire hose material, something just very tough and very stiff - almost armor but it's covered in chemical burns and oil stains. And he is kicking his foot at the ground looking like he just does not want to talk to Amelia anymore. He wants to get on with it.
Kit: Amelia looks back up at the sky and takes her final deep breath of this conversation, thank god, and will smile congenially at Winifred.
Kit (as Amelia): All right. So you all were paid up front for this little job so, on you go. Thank you.
Sydney (as Winifred): On we go.
Penn (as Zan): Thanks, Amelia. See you soon, on the ramp. Hopefully.
Kit (as Amelia): Yup, nope I don't think so. Have a good night you guys.
Penn (as Zan): Damn it.
Cameron (as Janus): Enjoy your evening~.
Kit (as Amelia): Mhmm.
Sydney: Winifred goes last, making sure that everyone is being shepherded in the right direction.
Nick (as Juno): Zan! Zan, I don't think you should try to go to the ramp. What if you fell off? You could fall off and be left by the city.
Penn (as Zan): Oh my god, Juno, you worry about the worst things. I'm gonna -
Nick (as Juno): That would be like the worst thing that could ever happen to a Foundling is falling off of Sasnak Traveling. We don't want that to happen.
Cameron (as Janus): [overlapping with Winifred] This city does not move that fast.
Sydney (as Winifred): [overlapping with Janus] If the ramp is down can always come back on.
Penn (as Zan): As long as I'm around nobody is going to fall off this f- [obviously was going to say another word] freaking, uh freaking city so um. Sorry Winifred I almost - I didn't swear this time.
Sydney (as Winifred): Proud of your restraint.
Kit: As the Founding family clears the ramp area and starts their journey back up to their tower, you were just paid 10 or 11 triangles, which is a good solid group job pay off. And that's either going to go towards your stash or will go towards your future expenses, one of which needs attention.
Sydney (as Winifred): Well now that our pockets aren't empty, we should probably find some food. Our pantry is -
Penn (as Zan): Can we get some cronuts?
Sydney (as Winifred): [sigh] You know what? Sure.
Penn (as Zan): Hell yeah. Hellah. Hmm.
Sydney (as Winifred): Let's head to Merchants Alley.
Penn (as Zan): [excited whisper] Janus! Janus!
Sydney (as Winifred): We'll stock up on our actual food, but you can get a cronut or two.
Penn (as Zan): Janus! Did you hear we get cronuts?
Cameron (as Janus): I did.
Nick (as Juno): Hey, as long as we're making weird requests to make with the money we risked our lives for, can -
Cameron (as Janus): A cronut is not a weird request.
Penn (as Zan): Yeah it's pretty standard.
Nick (as Juno): Can we get some like fish or something? I-I-I want to be able to feed Biscuits something that reminds him of home.
Cameron (as Janus): Ugh.
Penn (as Zan): Just feed him a cronut.
Sydney (as Winifred): Isn't biscuit from Sasnak?
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, but - look you said that they could get what they want. I just, come on.
Sydney (as Winifred): Sure. Fish is expensive though, so not a huge one.
Nick: That's fine. He's not that big anyway. A small one would be great. Thanks.
Penn (as Zan): That's what your mom said. [laughter]
Nick (as Juno): Wait, I don't get it. You said it like it was a joke. Could you explain to me why that's funny?
Penn (as Zan): Winifred! Junos being mean, again.
Sydney (as Winifred): You're the one making inaccurate comments.
Penn (as Zan): [laughing] Okay, fine.
Kit: As you travel down the winding path that will eventually lead anyone to the Merchants Alley as it is sort of the heart of where anyone goes in the city. They're not roads so to speak, but cramped sidewalks, the dart in alleys between buildings and might eventually meet a slightly wider sidewalk that even more people occupy. The foot traffic gets a bit heavier as you reach the Merchants Alley as you have come just around the busiest hours, but that means you also can expect to get some pretty good deals because no one is looking at their merchandise if they're haggling more with people.
Sydney (as Winifred): Fight it out and tell me where I'm going. You want Cronuts or fish - [pause]
Cameron (as Janus): I thought we were getting both.
Sydney (as Winifred): - first?
Penn (as Zan): Yeah cronuts first.
Nick (as Juno): Actually I'm fine with cronuts first. One because I'm pretty hungry after that last job and two because if Zan's mouth is full of cronut maybe they won't screw up the fish part of the job.
Sydney (as Winifred): Cronuts it is.
Cameron (as Janus): How does someone screw up buying fish?
Nick (as Juno): I don't know but Zan will find a way.
Nick: And Zan and Juno start doing the slap boxing thing back and forth at each other leaning away from them.
Penn (as Zan): You're so funny - not!
Sydney (as Winifred): I'm already gone.
Penn (as Zan): Oh, wait! Oh!
Nick (as Juno): Oh shit.
Nick: And we all turn and run after Winifred.
Kit: The donut stand is, it's a smaller one. It's a pretty humble establishment in the Merchants Alley as donuts are a somewhat frivolous item that not a lot of people in Sasnak can afford and if they can't afford them, they don't spend their time outside of the domes. But a very, very kindly, older woman who you all know as Rosa smiles as she sees you all approach and knows that she was going to get some good business from you.
Kit (as Rosa): Oh, hi kids. How are you?
Sydney (as Winifred): Afternoon.
Cameron (as Janus): Hello Ms Rosa~.
Kit (as Rosa): Hello. Are all of you getting some donuts today?
Penn (as Zan): CRONUTS!
Sydney (as Winifred): Yes, I think we'll take four of them.
Kit (as Rosa): Four Cronuts coming right up. You know I have a new special - they're filled with lemon.
Cameron (as Janus): gasp
Penn (as Zan): Gross.
Kit (as Rosa): Fresh from the gardens.
Cameron (as Janus): Ooh~.
Sydney (as Winifred): Anyone want the special?
Cameron (as Janus): I would like the special please.
Kit (as Rosa): Okay, so three regular and one special?
Nick (as Juno): I need carbs.
Kit (as Rosa): I'll take that as a yes.
Kit: She dishes up each of them in a separate paper bag and hands it over to Winifred. Obviously she doesn't trust any of the three of you with the donuts. And you all know that since the ticket system is used here, she holds up her fingers for
Kit (as Rosa): Two tickets please.
Sydney (as Winifred): Winifred fishes them out from one of the pouches on her bandolier.
Kit (as Rosa): All right, you guys have a good day kids, okay? Try not to cause too much trouble for Winifred.
Cameron (as Janus): [sounding like she always causes trouble] When do we ever cause trouble?
Nick (as Juno): [nervous] Why? What did you hear?
Penn (as Zan): Winifred can handle whatever.
Sydney: Winifred gives a knowing look over the heads of the twins as they walk away.
Kit: Rosa is just smiling very pleasantly and not responding and waving goodbye. As you guys turn to go over towards the pack of tents where you can basically buy all of your meat in one area. The busiest portion of the merchants Alley is directly in this sort of main corridor that goes completely through the entire district and has all of the smaller alleys branching off of it. And it gets shoulder to shoulder for you guys, so people are jostling into you, especially into Janus due to your height - people kind of think that you're easy to push by. And Winifred you feel a harder than normal bump into your back from a young person walking by and trailing past a taller person probably their parent yelling,
Kit (as Birdie): Wait up dad!
Kit: And you get to your section of stalls of the meat stand.
Sydney (as Winifred): You were saying you wanted fish?
Nick: Juno straightens his coat which is heavy enough that it makes his shoulders slump, he's usually a little hunched against it but wears it everywhere.
Nick (as Juno): Yes. Uh, I'll handle this Winifred
Nick: And strolls up to the stand where someone is selling, it looks like processed fish like in bowls sprinkled over rice and various things and Juno says
Nick (as Juno): Hello. I would like to purchase some raw fish please.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Oh, sorry. We only sell cooked fish here. So um, I'm really I - sorry kid. It's not food safe. So
Nick (as Juno): [stumbling to start] You don't buy the fish cooked right? Like you have -
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): No no I have it delivered, but I'm - you, I'm not going to like sell my own cook fish to you, man. It's not like
Nick (as Juno): It's not - come on.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Well, no. It's not like anything against you. It's just like, you gotta go through the wholesaler and it's like, it's like a whole thing.
Nick (as Juno): Look!
Nick: And Juno grabs this shopkeeper and pulls them in close. There's a crazy glint in his eye and he says,
Nick (as Juno): [almost whisper but still threatening...kinda] Look, it's not for humans, okay? It's for an octopus.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): What?
Nick (as Juno): And it's getting hungry, and I don't want it to get out.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Oh my god.
Nick (as Juno): Ya gotta give me some fish.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Um. Uh -
Nick: And he lets go forcefully and leans back and straightens his coat again and looks back at the rest of the Foundlings and makes an okay sign and a wink to them.
Sydney: Winifred makes a skeptical face but continues to hold her ground.
Cameron (as Janus): Janus looks impressed.
Penn: [laugh] This shopkeep stumbles back, is big and burly but is definitely not used to being intimidated as a fish salesman.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Um well Ah, sorry. I'm really sorry kid. Um. I used up most of my fish - I have some fish hea- fish heads. You want fish heads? Or
Nick (as Juno): Are they stinky?
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Uh I mean, uh how many tickets you got?
Nick (as Juno): Uh. Enough. Would you give me like a bag of them?
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Uh they're not -
Nick (as Juno): You're not gonna use them for anything anyway, so really I'm doing a favor if anything you should give me tickets
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Oh, yeah. Uh um. The non stinky fish heads are a little more expensive.
Nick (as Juno): Um. Good to hear. I'll take a bag of your stinkiest fish heads please.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Oh my god. Okay um, I'll go grab some. Just don't move kid. Uh yeah.
Penn: The shopkeeper bends down and disappears for a little bit and pops back up with some fish heads that smell bad.
Nick: Juno takes a deep breath in
Nick (as Juno): [deep breath]
Nick: and snaps his fingers.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Wait, did you want stinky fish heads.
Nick (as Juno): No. I'm doing your favor. Winifred pay the shopkeep!
Nick: And Juno turns on his heel and steps away from the counter.
Nick (as Juno): I'm providing for my child. Biscuits.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Uhh.
Nick: This is the most confident you have probably ever seen Juno for whatever reason seeing the last shop negotiation and everything they've gotten into their head that they can do this in this specific setup.
Cameron: Since you said that Juno is very similar in body type to Janus - is he also incredibly short?
Nick: Yeah, he is very short. He's very slight. Honestly, Janus has probably got more muscle on them than Juno does. His coat drags on the ground a little bit because it was made for someone full grown and much larger.
Sydney: Winifred walks up, reaching into that get the last of the leftover tickets out.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): [suddenly posh] Madam.
Sydney: She looks very unimpressed.
Penn: He has a fish in his hand that he bows with and with Winifred being unimpressed stands back up.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): Well um, you know, it'll be uh, that'll be three tickets. But it could be two tickets if you wanted to, you know, I've seen you around Winifred if you want to go on like a, like a drinks or something.
Sydney (as Winifred): You're not my type.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): [sad noise] Okay.
Sydney: Winifred puts down the three tickets that empty that pouch and turns and walks away.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): He-!
Sydney: Leaving him struggling.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): It's always open!
Cameron (as Janus): Why is everyone always flirting with mom?
Nick (as Juno): The fish! The fish!
Nick: And Juno runs up and grabs the bag and then says
Nick (as Juno): Thanks very much. You've really helped bolster my confidence. I know it seems like I have a lot but uh you've really helped me to grow as a human being. Uh appreciate it. And
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): I'm glad to hear. Mine is shredded kid. So
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, Winifred does that. Uh~. Have a good life!
Nick: And Juno runs away.
Penn (as Herbert the fish guy): [yelling] If you come back, ask for Herbert!
Penn (as Zan): It's gross when people flirt with Winifred. Oh my gosh. Winifred, can you be less embarrassing sometimes?
Sydney (as Winifred): I mean, I could do without the guys flirting with me.
Penn (as Zan): Yeah, I would like it if nobody was flirting with you. [laugh]
Sydney (as Winifred): Unfortunately, that's not how this works.
Nick (as Juno): You'll understand when you're older, Zan.
Nick: I am younger than Zan.
Kit: And as the four of you pull away from the fishery, a section of the alley, you realize that that was in fact the last of your tickets and that you'll need to now exchange some of the pay that you just received from the Ramp Girls to get more tickets. So the clerk that is some what of an auctioneer right now, unfortunately sees you approaching and just sighs very tiredly,
Kit (as Clerk): [exhausted] What do you want?
Sydney (as Winifred): It's grocery day.
Kit (as Clerk): [sigh and a groan all at once] How many tickets do you need?
Sydney: Winifred reaches for the pouch that has the day's pay, and then opens it and then feels around, looks over her shoulder at the rest of the Foundlings.
Nick: Juno is sneaking up behind Zan and is standing on a box and trying to slowly lower the bag of stinky fish heads in front of Zan to goose them with the smell.
Penn: Zan is meanwhile, just looking up into the sky with flies around them.
Cameron: Janus looks like they could potentially be planning a robbery. Just it's just that look, you know? It's a vibe.
Sydney (as Winifred): We'll get back to you on how many tickets.
Kit (as Clerk): [quiet and tired] Okay.
Sydney: And Winifred walks back leaving the clerk with a sigh of relief.
Kit (as Clerk): [tired, sad, and quiet] Why did I decide to do this job? I could have been a lawyer but I decided -
Kit: And you fade out on that.
Sydney (as Winifred): One of you didn't happen to steal the triangles that were today's pay out of my bandolier again, did you?
Nick: Juno immediately looks to Janus.
Cameron (as Janus): Why are you looking at me? No! You're in charge of the money.
Sydney (as Winifred): Yeah after -
Cameron (as Janus): I don't want that job.
Sydney (as Winifred): We've learned that lesson.
Nick (as Juno): I don't have it. I know Zan doesn't have it because they would have
Penn (as Zan): Hey what?!
Nick (as Juno): - been running around screaming I stole all the money.
Penn (as Zan): I could have stolen it! And you wouldn't know.
Sydney (as Winifred): That's fair. In that case, someone else has our money.
Cameron (as Janus): What?
Nick (as Juno): Why? Like you already bought something or -
Sydney (as Winifred): No, I think it was the kid that pushed past in the alley. She looked innocent, but it wasn't the most elegant of lifts.
Cameron (as Janus): [incredulous] A kid stole money from you?
Penn (as Zan): Yeah, that's kind of embarrassing, Winifred. [laughing]
Nick (as Juno): [panic level rising throughout] Oh, no, but we can't let this get out. If this gets out we're gonna lose what little credit we have and if we don't have cred, we won't get jobs, and if we don't get jobs we don't have money and if we don't have money, I can't buy fish for Biscuits.
Penn (as Zan): Oh my gosh, I can't buy my x bike!
Sydney (as Winifred): And more importantly, our pantry is empty, so we're gonna need to go find her.
Cameron (as Janus): [trying to be positive] At least we have Cronuts?
Penn (as Zan): Yay- I already ate mine though.
Nick (as Juno): I also ate mine already.
Penn (as Zan): Can I eat yours Janus? I'm hungry. I'm growing.
Cameron (as Janus): No! Mine has lemon in it. You don't like lemon.
Penn (as Zan): Mmm. You're right. It's gross.
Cameron (as Janus): But I'm not going to get scurvy.
Sydney: Winifred eats the last bite of hers before continuing on in the conversation. Just removing the temptation.
Cameron (as Janus): So where were you when this - child [Zan starts snickering] - stole our money?
Sydney (as Winifred): Walking into the tent.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay, so over there?
Sydney (as Winifred): Yes.
Cameron (as Janus): All right. Let's go over there!
Sydney (as Winifred): She's about this high.
Cameron (as Janus): Oh, so very short.
Sydney (as Winifred): [annoyed] Yes.
Penn (as Zan): Is it back by Herbert? I don't really want to go back to Herbert.
Sydney (as Winifred): There's more than one way out of the tent.
Nick (as Juno): Well uh, did you get a good look at this kid? Maybe we can give a description around, see if anybody knows who she is or who she's with? Because we're going to need to go find her.
Sydney (as Winifred): Red hair. Called out to parents.
Cameron (as Janus): But she stole your money?
Sydney (as Winifred): Yes. I suspect that was a cover.
Cameron (as Janus): [begrudging respect] Smart.
Nick (as Juno): Well,
Penn (as Zan): Mm. Parents.
Nick (as Juno): If we can find her, we'll have to teach her a lesson. She's got parents that mean she's weak. We can take her.
Penn (as Zan): Mhmm.
Cameron (as Janus): [concerned] Are you feeling okay, Juno? Are the fish smells affecting you?
Penn (as Zan): I like this.
Nick (as Juno): I'm a little dizzy, but I kinda like it.
Penn (as Zan): Yeah, I like this Juno.
Sydney (as Winifred): Well go find her.
Penn (as Zan): Okay!
Sydney (as Winifred): Get on it.
Nick (as Juno): O-
Penn (as Zan): Wait, what's she look like? I don't remember.
Cameron (as Janus): She just said! Red hair,
Nick (as Juno): [start overlapping] Red hair, small
Cameron (as Janus): Small!
Nick (as Juno): Called to parents. That very unique. I'm sure there's only one. Go!
Penn (as Zan): Okay!
Penn: Zan runs to the tent.
Sydney: So as the rest of the Foundings scatter, Winifred moves towards - she leaves the tent and goes to the equivalent of a bulkhead nearby like a big metal panel like a room with a service hatch and she leans casually up against it and takes out her tablet and looks around at the surrounding area and then hits a button on her tablet and it the tiniest, only seeable in smoke laser link sets up to an antenna nearby and she starts to talk to the city.
Kit: Yeah, I'm gonna have you roll an Attune check. And I'm gonna roll against you just using a fortune roll with 2d6, standard being 1d6, I'm just adding one because these are probably not the hardest cameras to work or setup at all. So they're probably not that smart.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: So I have three points of Attune, so I will roll 3d6 keeping the highest.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: That is a five.
Kit: Five is your highest?
Sydney: Yes.
Kit: Alrighty, so I rolled this pool in your favor to see that these cameras are wanting to do their job. You can tell that they are so very excited to see that gasp they're gonna get to catch a criminal today. And so they rolled a six actually, I'll say that because you scored slightly lower than the cameras, you can see on a small screen in the room that you're in as the playback of the last few minutes happens that you can see a small head bobbing and weaving through the crowd coming towards the exit. And then the camera suddenly has to be pulled from your focus as one of the security guards from behind you is like
Kit (as Security Guard): Uh you're not supposed to be in here.
Sydney (as Winifred): Oh, I was just leaving.
Kit (as Security Guard): Okay, good. Thank you.
Sydney: Winifred has saved the screenshot of this criminals face as it neared the camera.
Kit (as Security Guard): Okay, please go now.
Kit (as Clerk): He really doesn't want to be here.
Sydney: Winifred nods graciously and skidaddles.
Kit: Hell yeah.
Nick: Could me and Janus pool our resources so I could do an Assist or vice versa so that we're more likely to not screw up?
Kit: Yeah, and Assist would, you would take one stress to give the other player 1d6 and you may suffer the consequences of your role alongside the player you assist but there won't be consequences really, it'll just be the lack of information that you don't get.
Nick: Cool. I think what happens is we all scatter in different directions. And then Juno is looking around at these crowds of people and everything moving and starts to sweat and looks really overwhelmed and is looking around tapping his fingers together and goes
Nick (as Juno): [anxious] Janus~
Nick: And runs off and goes and finds his sister and says,
Nick (as Juno): Maybe we should we should work together. Here I'll I'll uh, I'll help, I'll make sure that you don't steal anything so people will be more comfortable with you. How about that?
Cameron (as Janus): Sure~.
Nick: And they high five and Janus goes and finds someone to talk to and I marked down a Stress to boost her roll.
Cameron: Janus is heading to one of the vendors that she's purposefully never stolen from so she still has a good relationship with them, because you have to have a few that like you. [laugh]
Kit: That's fair.
Cameron: Okay. What type of shop would Janus never steal from? It's a bookseller. You must respect books. You can't steal books. Janus reads, but Janus doesn't want the bookseller to not get books for her. [laugh] Sometimes the bookseller will let me borrow books.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Aw what's up little friend?
Cameron (as Janus): Hello. How are you doing today?
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): All right. You know, we're reading real hardcore today.
Cameron (as Janus): That's the goal. You've met my brother Juno, right?
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): I have, unfortunately.
Nick (as Juno): Wha-. I thought we were getting along the last time we talked.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Yeah, but then you knocked over the display.
Cameron (as Janus): Oh, yeah. You did... Gosh.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): And then you got so nervous and you left and you didn't - I had to put the display back together.
Nick (as Juno): I said I was sorry.
Cameron (as Janus): You're such a problem child, Juno. Um.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Your sister pays for books here.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, really?
Cameron (as Janus): And I don't knock over towers of books.
Nick (as Juno): Well, fine. How about I just sit here quietly and since you both are such good friends, you can figure it out? Do you even remember why we were over here, Janus?
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Are you back in to pick up the latest in the Crown of Ice and Poison series?
Cameron (as Janus): Ooh did that come in?
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): Ooh, then yes.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): We hosted a book club yesterday for it.
Cameron (as Janus): What!?
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): I guess you were busy.
Cameron (as Janus): Oh, shoot.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): But you can come by, if you come by next week we're doing the chapters 6 through 10.
Cameron (as Janus): Ooh. Okay, I can catch up by next week.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): No, yeah, it'd be great. We'll serve cookies and tea.
Cameron (as Janus): No that - That sounds, that sounds fantastic. I didn't realize that the new one had come out.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Yeah do you want to see the new cover?
Cameron (as Janus): Yes!
Sydney: This guy turns around and goes over one aisle and then to the end cap where there's just four shelves of all of the same book. It's very brightly covered and has a couple making out on it.
Cameron (as Janus): Oh my gosh!
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): I know. It took him seven books to get this far and they're finally here. They're finally together.
Cameron (as Janus): You know, I love a slow burn, but I agree this has been a little slow. I could do with more like flames? I don't know what - how does - what is that? How do you continue that analogy? [laughing]
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Passion?
Cameron (as Janus): Sure. Yeah. Anyway -
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Speaking of that, you should ask Winifred if she's free some time.
Cameron (as Janus): Oh, yeah. I'll see if I can get her to come to the book club with me.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Yeah, that'd be great.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, I will definitely do that. So I I'm very, very excited that this book came in and thank you very much for telling me about the book club, but Harvey we actually came over here for a different reason. Quick question to ask you - wanted to see if you had seen a young girl with red hair wandering around who looks like she might be on her own?
Kit: Um, well, yeah, that's gonna be like a single d6 to see so I'll roll that really quick.
[die rolling]
Kit: Oh, it's a 1. [laughing] This guy hasn't seen a single thing. This person's like, what's red hair?
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Sorry, little friend. I haven't been outside today. No one like that's come in.
Cameron (as Janus): Aw shoot. Well I guess if she's stealing money from Winifred she probably didn't have money for books.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Probably true. You said she was little?
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, like -
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Is she old enough to read?
Cameron (as Janus): Uh, I assume so. I didn't see her. I'm going off Winifred's description, but she did successfully pickpocket Winifred, so she has to be of like decent height right? That means that you can probably read?
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Yeah, I suppose. But no, sorry. I don't I've not seen anything useful.
Cameron (as Janus): Dang. Well, I still think this was a very productive conversation. This was fantastic. Thank you so much.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Yeah. But come back. Come back for this book. [tapping on book] I'll keep your copy in reserve. Next time you come by and I guess your money hasn't been stolen?
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah. That'd be great. I may come back later this week, and just hang out in my corner and catch up on the chapters., but
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Of course.
Cameron (as Janus): I gotta go check and make sure nothing else has been stolen from Winifred. But yeah, we'll see you next week.
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Yep. Catch you later.
Cameron (as Janus): Bye~!
Sydney (as Harvey the bookseller): Juno you can move now.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, come on, Juno, don't knock over the books.
Nick (as Juno): All right.
Nick: And he steps sarcastically carefully out of the shop with his hands up above his head.
Sydney: Harvey stands guardingly between Juno and the shelves as [laughing] Juno is sarcastically walking.
Kit: And as the twins make their exit, the camera pans over to another section of the Merchants Alley to focus on Zan. [laughing] What in god's name is Zan doing?
Penn: Zan is popping up from a somersault and looking both directions.
Penn (as Zan): Okay. Red hair. Little kid. Time to find her. Won't get away from me, Eagle-Eye Zan. Zan Cannon.
Penn: And Zan is going to just kind of dart around and go back to the tent unnecessarily rolling around and stuff and make it back to the tent where Winifred pointed out. As Zan gets to the mouth of this tent, they look around and see it's pretty bustling.
Penn (as Zan): [yelling] Has anybody seen a red haired girl? A little thief? Thief hands kid?
Kit: I'm gonna make a fortune roll with 3d6 because why not?
[dice rolling]
Kit: Yeah, no, you gotta five, so a voice from a couple of stalls down goes,
Kit (as Ms Aroma): [screeching] WHAT?
Penn (as Zan): [yelling back] Yeah! Redhead thief kid.
Kit (as Ms Aroma): [screeching] COME HERE.
Penn (as Zan): [yelling back] Okay!
Kit (as Ms Aroma): [yelling] I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Penn (as Zan): [yelling back] Wait! Where are - Okay!
Kit: You see an older person with a long braid of salt and pepper hair. And they're waving you over Zan to their booth that is selling the Sasnak equivalent of essential oils.
Penn (as Zan): Ohh.
Kit: And she's got these huge glasses that are far too big for anyone to think that this is practical and the lenses are very thick. They stretch past the actual rims of the frames.
Kit (as Ms Aroma): You're looking for a red haired girl?
Penn (as Zan): Mmm. Hi, Ms Aroma. Yes.
Kit (as Ms Aroma): It's good to see you too. Mhm. It's always good to see you. Not. Okay.
Penn (as Zan): [cackles]
Kit (as Ms Aroma): So
Kit: She starts pointing off towards the exit.
Kit (as Ms Aroma): Listen. I know that girl because she stole from me a couple of weeks back you see.
Penn (as Zan): [gasp]
Kit (as Ms Aroma): So I saw her going that way and I started yelling at her and so she ran faster so I can't tell you exactly where she went. But you know, I heard from a friend of a friend, and you didn't hear this from me, that she works down in the Guts, the poor thing.
Penn (as Zan): [grumpy] Mm. Yeah, no one, no Guts kid steals from us. We're the only stealing Guts kids.
Kit: She narrows her eyes but her eyes are so magnified by her glasses that they just, it doesn't really do much for the effect and just
Kit (as Ms Aroma): I see.
Penn (as Zan): Well, it was nice smelling you, Ms. Aroma. [cackles]
Kit (as Ms Aroma): Are you at least gonna buy something? Creighton.
Penn (as Zan): Mmm. What do you have this time actually, I might be interested in something. Do you have any of Riff Cannon's new scents?
Kit (as Ms Aroma): Who the hell is Riff Cannon?
Penn (as Zan): Okay, I've gone. Bye Ms. Aroma.
Kit (as Ms Aroma): Bye kid.
Kit: And she waves her hand a little absent mindedly and you duck back into the crowd. Did you want to meet up at a specific point, you guys?
Penn: Yeah, back at the ticket booth.
Kit: Okay. The clerk is still there. He looks so tired. He waits for all of you to congregate again is like
Kit (as Clerk): [tired and sad] Are you guys gonna buy tickets?
Cameron (as Janus): No, you can go back to your nap.
Kit: His lower lip is trembling.
Cameron (as Janus): It's okay. It's okay. It's it's gonna be okay.
Penn (as Zan): Well guard your ticket stand. Nobody will buy tickets. Not with us around.
Kit (as Clerk): [so so sad] No wait. I have to do that. Oh, wait, okay. [sniffing]
Kit: He goes back to his nap though. Either way. He doesn't really care that much.
Sydney (as Winifred): Well, what did everyone find?
Cameron (as Janus): Uh so the newest book in A Crown of Ice and Poison came out last week.
Penn (as Zan): [annoyed] Oh!
Sydney (as Winifred): Ooh you've been looking forward to that.
Penn (as Zan): What?
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, there's a book club next week and we need to read through chapter 10 and Harvey said that we can go and we can just read in my corner there so we don't have to buy the book right now. But the cover is really pretty and they're finally like embracing on the cover and it like actually looks like a * romance novel now and it's very exciting.
Penn (as Zan): [interrupting starting at *] Ugh~ yuck!
Sydney (as Winifred): Wow.
Nick (as Juno): I found out Harvey doesn't like me.
Cameron (as Janus): You just found that out?
Penn (as Zan): Ohh ha! A lot of people don't, Juno. [cackle]
Nick (as Juno): Hey~.
Sydney (as Winifred): Did you do anything to bother him?
Nick (as Juno): He made up all these stories about me knocking over books and maybe I did, but I thought it was okay. I thought we were cool.
Penn (as Zan): Naw.
Sydney (as Winifred): Maybe you should go in next time and offer to help clean up the store.
Nick (as Juno): You're - you're offering me solutions and I just wanted someone to listen to how I was feeling, Winifred.
Penn (as Zan): Oh, I'm sorry Juno, Do you want to present to make you feel better?
Nick (as Juno): Yeah.
Penn (as Zan): It's a knuckle sandwich!
Penn: And Zan comes over and gives Juno a noogie.
Nick (as Juno): Ahh no! Curse my hubris. I thought we had bonded and I was mistaken! No~ ow~.
Penn (as Zan): I love you Juno. It's okay. It's a love noogie.
Nick (as Juno): I love you too. My head hurts so much stop~!
Penn (as Zan): Okay, okay.
Cameron (as Janus): Anyway, no Winifred - Harvey hadn't seen the kid.
Sydney (as Winifred): Well, fortunately, I have a face picture.
Penn (as Zan): Oh, nice.
Nick (as Juno): As opposed to a butt picture?
Penn (as Zan): [cackle]
Sydney (as Winifred): Yes, that's my personal stash.
Nick (as Juno): How- Oh, I didn't really think that through.
Cameron (as Janus): [much concern] Not of kids though, right?
Sydney (as Winifred): No, those are mine.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay your butt photos
Sydney (as Winifred): Yes.
Cameron (as Janus): meaning like of your butt. Okay.
Penn (as Zan): Ew~. Oh my gosh, Winifred stop talking about this.
Sydney (as Winifred): You started it.
Penn (as Zan): Nobody wants to hear about your butt.
Cameron (as Janus): Anyway, let's let's see the photo. Let's see, not the butt photo. Let's see the photo of the kids face. [laughing]
Sydney (as Winifred): You aren't old enough to see the butt photos.
Penn (as Zan): Ugh.
Sydney: And she brings up Birdie's picture.
Penn (as Zan): We don't want to see them.
Kit: The picture has the nose up of Birdie directly between the shoulders of two people and you can't see much, but it's enough that if you showed the picture to someone, they might be able to point you in the right direction. She's got these weird wispy bangs that were obviously not cut by a professional or by her parents.
Penn (as Zan): Little thief.
Sydney (as Winifred): Zan did you find anything?
Penn (as Zan): Um yeah, Ms. Aroma does not have any new Riff Cannon scents, but oh, and also this thief thiefy girl is from the Guts so we know that.
Sydney (as Winifred): Oh. that's useful.
Penn (as Zan): Probably, I mean, just process of elimination, works for the Drain Boys but you never know. We don't work for the Drain Boys.
Sydney (as Winifred): No, but we're gonna about to go down there and talk to them.
Penn (as Zan): Yuck.
Nick (as Juno): Oh they're fine. You just have to understand how they work, right, and like just work within the bureaucracy. It'll be fine.
Cameron (as Janus): You're just hoping to see another octopus.
Nick (as Juno): Uh I don't think Biscuits is ready for a little sister yet.
Penn (as Zan): [snort] Your, you’re a litt-, your mom's not ready for a little sister yet. [cackle]
Nick (as Juno): Maybe -
Sydney (as Winifred): I can give you a little sister.
Penn (as Zan): [same time as Juno] Winifred stop!
Nick (as Juno): [same time as Zan] Woah no!
Penn (as Zan): Oh my god.
Sydney (as Winifred): Anyway, we're heading to the Guts then?
Cameron (as Janus): Yep.
Sydney (as Winifred): We've got a picture and we've got a destination.
Penn (as Zan): Gross.
Sydney (as Winifred): And we have someone who owes us our money.
Cameron (as Janus): And we've got snacks for the road. Okay well, I do.
Penn (as Zan): Wait what? Oh my gosh.
Cameron: [laughing] Janus takes out a cronut and starts eating it.
Penn (as Zan): Janus can you please share your cronut?
Cameron (as Janus): No, it-
Penn (as Zan): Oh my gosh it's not fair. Winifred
Cameron (as Janus): it has lemon.
Penn (as Zan): Janus his show- is like a showing off her cronut to us. It is not fair.
Sydney (as Winifred): She made the choice to save it.
Cameron (as Janus): You already ate yours.
Sydney (as Winifred): You could eat a fish head.
Penn (as Zan): I'm not gonna eat a fish head. Juno's gonna eat a fish head.
Nick: Juno has a fish head up towards his mouth and then everyone's looking at him and he just puts it back in the bag.
Penn (as Zan): [cackle]
Kit: So anyone who's lived on Sasnak long enough, has heard of the Guts. It's the undercity of Sasnak Traveling and it is home to not only some fearsome criminal groups and the rich elite of Sanak that need to indulge in their vices every once in a while, it is also home to the Drain Boys, which is your cure all to the Guts' issue of breaking a lot as the Guts are the quote unquote guts of the city there is walls and walls and floors upon floors of piping and machinery and blinking lights and buttons that do things. And you know also the fearsome group of octopuses that make their home in the Guts after they escaped from the aquarium.
The Drain Boys make their main offices at the very top of the Guts so you don't have to go down that far quite yet. And as always waiting for you past a set of thick metal doors and somewhat dreary hallway is Marcus Plunger. One of the heads of the Drain Boys or you know, maybe he's just a secretary, you've never really asked him. He's not that interesting.
Sydney (as Winifred): Marcus.
Kit (as Marcus): Winifred.
Penn (as Zan): [snicker]
Kit: He sort of blinks one eye at a time at you. He looks tired. He's got a five o'clock shadow that's turning into a nine o'clock shadow and he's got the telltale coveralls of the Drain Boys with very, very many pockets - a ridiculous amount of pockets covering almost every inch of the coveralls.
Kit (as Marcus): What is it this time?
Sydney (as Winifred): There's a kid down here we're looking for.
Kit (as Marcus): Well, that doesn't narrow things down does it?
Sydney (as Winifred): You could wait for me to describe her.
Kit (as Marcus): Nneh. Go ahead.
Sydney: Winifred takes out the picture.
Kit: Marcus leans in and squints. He's got a very thick mustache that covers most of his top lip, so you can't really see when he talks sometimes and a very, very thick set of eyebrows. And you see as a somewhat smaller, slimy creature's head pokes up from the desk that he's sitting behind and you all see the pet octopus that Marcus has known as Barry. And as Marcus goes,
Kit (as Marcus): Hmm.
Kit: The octopus goes.
Kit (as Barry the Octopus): [disgusting watery squishy mouth sounds]
Kit: And he leans back and Barry climbs up on the desk to start pacing back and forth. And Marcus goes,
Kit (as Marcus): Oh, you know, we get a lot of younguns in and out of here pretty often now. Not many of them stay for very long, you know, as a, it's, you know, occupational hazard. But yeah, she looks kind of familiar. I could uh, I guess I could pull up her information that she gave us if you would do us a favor,
Sydney (as Winifred): A favor?
Sydney: Winifred says reluctantly, knowing that they've already done work today.
Kit (as Marcus): It's nothing huge. It's just a short trip into the Guts to retrieve some items that were left down there buy one of the orphans that we constantly employ. I don't know why we keep employing orphans when all they do is forget things but you know, that's not me that's above my paygrade. Just go and retrieve the tools. No one's done it yet because it's uh, well, it's near the uh, the hive.
Kit: And you all would know that the hive refers to where the base of the feral octopuses that inhabit the Guts live.
Sydney (as Winifred): Wonderful.
Kit (as Marcus): I'd throw in a couple of triangles for you if you got it done today.
Sydney: And Winifred looks back at the rest of the Foundlings
Cameron: Janus is just finishing up the rest of her cronut and is licking the leftover lemon curd off of her fingers.
Penn: Zan is messing with a fish head and annoyingly tapping it against Juno's face.
Nick: Juno is crouched down with his hands over his head just saying
Nick (as Juno): No, no, no.
Sydney (as Winifred): You guys prepared to go to another job?
Penn: Zan drops the fish head and stands up.
Penn (as Zan): Mhm. What are we doing? Explosions? Do we need an X bike?
Kit (as Marcus): Please no.
Cameron (as Janus): No, we don't need an X bike.
Penn (as Zan): Come on one of these times we're gonna need an X bike, I tell you.
Cameron (as Janus): Unlikely.
Sydney (as Winifred): Not this time.
Cameron (as Janus): We need to go by the hive and pick up some tools that somebody left there. Were you not listening?
Penn (as Zan): You were listening?
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, I was listening.
Nick (as Juno): Do we need to crack into our stash of arena juice? Since we're doing two jobs in a row? Maybe we need to [nervous excited laughter]
Sydney (as Winifred): No we're avoiding that.
Penn (as Zan): We're not drinking arena juice. Stop suggesting it Juno.
Nick (as Juno): Fine.
Nick: And Juno bends down and picks up the fish head off the ground and plunks it back in the bag.
Sydney: Winifred turns back to Marcus and shrugs.
Kit: He looks unimpressed.
Sydney (as Winifred): Sure we'll do it.
Kit (as Marcus): Okay. Uh. What do you say, two triangles?
Sydney (as Winifred): Fair enough. For as easy as you make it sound - if we get back here and it wasn't that easy, we may have to have a second conversation.
Kit (as Marcus): I'd really rather we not.
Cameron (as Janus): Two triangles and the information on the kid?
Kit (as Marcus): Yes that was implied.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay. I just wanted to make sure.
Kit (as Marcus): Yeah, I'm not going to scam a bunch of orphans that I don't employ.
Sydney (as Winifred): We appreciate that.
Cameron (as Janus): Heh.
Kit (as Marcus): Yeah. Okay.
Kit: So he pulls out this big board that kind of looks like a standard board game board, but it has a bunch of little blinking lights around and it's a map of the Guts. And there's a big orange sticker right on the bottom left corner facing you Winifred and he points out and says
Kit (as Marcus): Okay, this is where the hive is and kid said he dropped them at a room about two doors down this way.
Kit: And he drags his finger down the board to a hallway that you know has no other entrances or exits except to go past the hive.
Sydney (as Winifred): Lovely.
Penn (as Zan): Uh Wini-
Kit (as Marcus): Look if you can just avoid them then you know it's not and just not disturb them.
Sydney (as Winifred): That's our job.
Penn (as Zan): Can I have the pistol?
Sydney (as Winifred): No.
Kit (as Marcus): You have a pistol?
Sydney (as Winifred): We're not shooting things with the pistol today Zan.
Penn (as Zan): Mmmm. Can Juno have the pistol?
Sydney (as Winifred): Is Juno going to turn around and give it back to you?
Nick (as Juno): No, I don't think I would ever arm Zan that seems really bad, but you should probably hang on to it because I can see Zan already gearing up to punch me in the face and take it.
Penn (as Zan): No, I
Sydney (as Winifred): Maybe save the punching for the octopus down there?
Penn (as Zan): O-kay.
Nick (as Juno): Don't hit the octopus. They're sweet!
Penn (as Zan): Yeah, actually, I don't want to punch an octopus. That's kind of gross.
Sydney (as Winifred): Then we need to sneak better.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, just be sneakier.
Sydney (as Winifred): And to do that you need to stop yelling at each other.
Penn (as Zan): Okay.
Kit: And as you turn away you catch Barry, Marcus's pet octopus, he puts one of his tentacles up on the desk and forms almost what looks like a bow but what you realize it's supposed to be two fingers pointing up in his eyes and looking and then pointing at you guys, as if to say, I'm watching you and he goes
Kit (as Barry the Octopus): [horrendous squashy mouth sounds]
Kit: Down back into Marcus's lap, and you start your descent farther down into the Guts towards one of the most dangerous parts.
[AKoSaP outro music played on a kazoo starts]
Outro:
This has been an episode from the “A Knight of Shreds and Patches” Patreon Bonus feed, where we engage our inner children and cause all the chaos that our somewhat more responsible main feed characters restrain themselves from. This episode featured Cameron Robertson as Janus Foundling, Nick Robertson as Juno Foundling, Penn Van Batavia as Zan Foundling and Herbert the fish guy, Sydney Whittington as Winifred Foundling and Harvey the bookseller, and Kit Adames as GM, Narrator, Amelia, Rosa, Birdie, the ticket clerk, the security guard, Ms. Aroma, Marcus, and Barry the Octopus. Thanks for listening!
[kazoo theme fades]