The Patina bids farewell to Sasnak Traveling.
The Patina bids farewell to Sasnak Traveling.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- hotel bell.wav by Migaelvdw. Link & License.
- Unexpected Hoedown In Bagging Area by Doctor Turtle. Link & License.
- The Beauty of Maths by Meydӓn. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
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A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 67: Hug Sandwich
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
Welcome to the Season 3 Finale! We’ve only been in Season 3 for a paltry two and a half years, easy peasy. Quick organizational thing - this time around, we’re running the recap as a full episode, so it will go live at the normal time in two weeks, and Season 4 should kick in two weeks after that. Thanks for listening for the five and a half years we’ve taken to put this together (even if you burned through the backlog in a month on your end), and we hope to continue keeping you entertained well into the future.
But if you’re really craving new content in the meantime, consider backing our Patreon, which gives you access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 67: Hug Sandwich. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Cameron (as Emma): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, I woke up from being kicked out of the Knight’s computer having been tossed across the bed of the truck, with a terrible headache setting in. Good news though is I think the Knight is fixed and Winifred agrees so yay us. Winifred is also going to let me keep her backup tech diving headset in case I need to interface with the Knight in the future. Which was incredibly nice to do and I greatly appreciate it, but also it hopefully is not needed in the near future cause my head is killing me. Given my general state of ughhhh, Winifred helped me get to her house so Maria could give me a quick checkup to make sure I didn’t hit my head or anything. Normally Cassidy would have helped but she had to go get fancy for her date with Marathon~. It was very cute - Marathon was very excited and nervous about it and asked me to pack an overnight bag for Cassidy so that concluding their evening in a private getaway was an option and she also had me go with her to pick out some new aftershave to smell all nice for Miss Cassidy - and as her roommate I also appreciate this gesture. I’m assuming their date went very well because they didn’t make their way back up to our shipping container HQ, but Wander did which was unexpected. He asked for a favor as payback for him getting Marathon the community service sentence, so we’re going to be continuing our adventure out of the city with a new bauble in tow. It’s this silver necklace that is apparently an ancient tech diary thing and he wants us to give it to Susan whenever we end up seeing her again, which he seems sure that we will be doing. Apparently it’s gonna make her angry and Wander thinks that’s great. Supposedly she won’t be mad at us though - just him. I’m gonna go try to sleep off this headache now in my blessedly Guts smell free room.
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: The Patina has rested and recovered from the Battle of the Ramp on Sasnak Traveling, and it is now late January. The group has begun to pack their things, and it's only a matter of time before they leave, knowing that by the time they get there, the passes will begin to thaw in the large mountain range to the West. Along with packing, there are goodbyes to be made, and we find Emma on her way to do just that; standing outside of a building that still says 'Opal Corp' above the door.
Cameron: As Emma is standing in front of the building, she looks up at the sign and has a weird moment of not going to see Opal in this office, and shakes her head to clear thoughts of the past, and walks up to the door to head in. She's wearing her normal walking boots and some green cargo pants with so many pockets. She's been basically living in all of her cargo pants while fixing the Knight and the exo suit because it's just real handy to be able to grab anything she needs and stick it in a pocket. And she is wearing a soft-looking black three-quarter sleeve sweater, and she's got her hair up in a ponytail, and it swooshes merrily as she swings the door open and steps inside.
Nick: The lobby to Opal Corp looks familiar to you. Very little has been changed since you were last there, except that the receptionist desk has someone new seated at it... someone you did not expect to see. And you find yourself, as you walk across the lobby towards the receptionist desk, face to face with Contrail, the person that you fought in a duel very recently.
Kit: Contrail is sitting in a very prim manner at her desk, and is wearing a nice white button-up with a wide black belt, and has on a pair of fingerless black leather gloves that look a little vicious for a secretary. But as she types very very quickly, she doesn't notice that it's Emma at first, and will say,
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): Welcome to Mr. Stone's office. Do you have an appointment?
Cameron: Emma is slightly taken aback by seeing their former foe in this office context, one, but also specifically Rye's office, since they kind of took each other down, and that's that's an interesting turn of events. And with her head tilted to the side, just automatically in a 'huh, interesting' moment, she says,
Cameron (as Emma): I should be his lunch meeting today?
Kit: Contrail seemingly moves over to move her mouse and click a couple things to double check his calendar, and then will turn and look at Emma for the first time, and then just immediately the biggest, somewhat sharp-toothed grin spreads over her face.
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): Oh my gosh! It is so funny to see you here ! How are you?
Cameron: I think as soon as Contrail smiles at her, Emma takes like an immediate one step back with one foot, just unconsciously, as the only other time she has seen Contrail was in a fight situation where they were not on the same side, and the warmness of the greeting is a little off-putting coming from that previous context.
Cameron (as Emma): I'm I'm doing well. Funny to see you here as well.
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): Yeah, it's a really funny story. Well, Rye and I, we were put in beds next to one another while we were healing up, so we got super close, and it was super fun to get to know him. And so, you know, I figured I hated my old boss so much, and so I was like, "Rye, you're gonna need a secretary," and it's a it just it just worked out so perfectly.
Cameron (as Emma): Huh.
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): How have you been? Let's let's talk on the way to his office. I'm sure you know the way, but I'll just take you up for funsies.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. Um, it's it's it's been going good. We're we've been prepping to to head out back on on our -
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): Oh my gosh, so soon?
Cameron (as Emma): - city adventures, yeah...so soon.
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): Did you dye your hair?
Cameron (as Emma): [confused] Uh no?
Kit: As Contrail comes out from behind her desk to walk with Emma, she goes,
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): Yeah. You've got like purple going on. Did you not do that on purpose?
Cameron (as Emma): Um, nope.
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): Oh, fun! How interesting. [giggle]
Kit: Contrail thinks absolutely nothing of it and will take a brisk pace on as they walk over, and she'll open up the door and say,
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): Rye~, Emma's here to see you.
Cameron: On the hallway wall, right before you reach the doors to the office, there is a mirror. I think Emma looks at herself to get her profile in the mirror and does a ponytail swish. And her hair is brown. It's always been this color, and so she's just like, 'Okay, I don't know. This person's weird. I don't. I don't know what's going on,' and just puts it from her mind and walks over to the doors of the office.
Nick (as Rye): Yes, if you could show her in, please, that would be wonderful.
Kit (as Contrail Axedge): Yeah, of course. Yeah, she's right here. We walked over together. Alrighty, have a fun lunch, you guys. I will be at the front if you need anything.
Cameron (as Emma): Thank you.
Kit: And she'll step out of Emma's way and then close the door. And you hear very brisk, high-heeled footsteps on her way back.
Nick: Rye lets out a deep sigh.
Cameron: Emma stares at the door for longer [laughing] than you normally would when walking into a room, and then turns and looks at Rye.
Nick (as Rye): I wish I had 1/10 of her energy.
Cameron (as Emma): How- how - That was unexpected.
Nick (as Rye): Oh, it's well, it's a funny story actually because we were in hospital beds next to each other,
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.
Nick (as Rye): - after the duel, and she just kept saying that she needed a job, and maybe it was the painkillers, but I very much wanted to help with that. And she's she's really livened up the place.
Nick: And Rye stands up from behind this large desk and grabs what looks like a cane made of dark wood with a silver cap on top, and walks over to Emma to give her a hug.
Cameron (as Emma): It's definitely a different energy than the last time I was here.
Cameron: And Emma returns the hug.
Nick (as Rye): Yeah, I am. I like it. It's good. It is good.
Nick: And Rye looks like he's trying to convince himself.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, no, no - I, I think you having um, I think having a different personality flavor in the office isn't a bad thing. And she seems like she gets stuff done very fast. She was hitting many keys very quickly. Um, and she seems ecstatic to work with you now, so
Nick (as Rye): Ecstatic is a good word. That's that's a good...
Cameron (as Emma): Huh. That's interesting that y'all y'all formed this friendship while recovering in hospital beds after having put each other in the hospital.
Nick (as Rye): You know, uh
Cameron (as Emma): Was it just kind of like because you're like start- We can sit down. We don't have to keep standing here next to the door.
Nick (as Rye): Oh, thanks. Yeah.
Nick: Rye gestures towards the seats in front of the desk, and he also takes one of the visitor seats in front of the desk and turns it towards Emma so that they're seated closer together and not separated by the desk.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah. So, like, even playing field because y'all broke each other, so it was just like just clean slate, they cancel each other out?
Nick (as Rye): I I know you haven't lived here for a terribly long time,
Cameron (as Emma): Uh huh.
Nick (as Rye): - but if you decided everybody that you fought in a duel that was hired to be a duel fighter was your enemy, you would rapidly find that a good portion of the city would hate each other.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay.
Nick (as Rye): You just have to let these kinds of things go at some point. And Contrail, honestly, it's like she doesn't even remember that we fought.
Cameron (as Emma): [surprised laugh]
Nick (as Rye): So I'm just kind of taking that as a cue,
Cameron (as Emma): Okay.
Nick (as Rye): - and going similarly, and she really is very sweet, uh high energy. Very sweet.
Cameron (as Emma): Uh huh!
Nick (as Rye): And we we needed some of that in the office. And now, well, with the injury, it's it's a little bit harder for me to deal with any challengers, which there have been many. And Contrail is, I know that you have witnessed quite competent.
Cameron (as Emma): Uh huh. No yeah, for sure.
Nick (as Rye): So I've become one of those kinds of people that I used to make fun of, or that I used to challenge their authority, and people now fight battles for me.
Cameron (as Emma): I, I, I, I don't think having an injury that makes it so that you can no longer compete yourself if you are challenged makes you the same as those people, Rye. I think if you were going out and challenging other people knowing that you couldn't fight and you were going to make someone else do it for you, I think that puts you more on their level, but. Yeah, no. If they're if they're challenging you, and Contrail just told me how much she apparently hated Ruby, so I I mean, if she's that excited about fighting in the duels, I don't I don't think you're on their same level. Like you you're not choosing not to fight because you can find someone who is better, stronger, faster, more dangerous than you to do it. You're doing it because you can't. So
Nick (as Rye): I guess.
Cameron (as Emma): How's the knee recovery doing, by the way? The cane is lovely.
Nick (as Rye): Well, thank you. It is healing pretty well. The physical therapy is going well too. It it's just a little unstable, so keeping the cane has been, it just makes it easier, you know?
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, no, for sure. Especially if it tires out faster at any point, you can have something to lean on.
Nick (as Rye): Uh huh.
Cameron (as Emma): Plus, if people get annoying, you can bop them with it.
Nick (as Rye): Oh yeah.
Nick: And Rye has been tapping his fingers on the top of the cane, and he grabs it with his other hand, does a quick twist, and pulls and there is a sword hidden in the cane that he shows a few inches of the blade before clicking it back into place.
Nick (as Rye): It pays to be prepared.
Cameron (as Emma): That doesn't surprise me at all. That yeah, a sword cane is very, very fancy businessman, Rye. That, yeah. How are you enjoying being a fancy businessman?
Nick (as Rye): I - it's it's an adjustment, I'll be honest. I miss being the no responsibility bachelor, going to parties and making friends. But that time of my life seems to have passed mostly. So now people try to have me killed and steal my holdings, and I deal with that, and then try to make the city a better place. It's very busy, but most of the people in Opal Corp are aligned with my goals, and I am attempting to promote that synergy.
Nick: And on those last few words, he's eye twitches. He looks very uncomfortable having said that sentence out loud.
Cameron: Emma is just nodding along as he's talking.
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm!
Nick (as Rye): So I am doing well.
Cameron (as Emma): Good.
Nick (as Rye): Things are well. Everything -
Cameron (as Emma): [laughing] Things are well?
Nick (as Rye): Yeah, great.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay.
Nick (as Rye): Everything's awesome. I - oh well, it is it is lunchtime, isn't it?
Nick: And Rye reaches for a little bell on the desk and rings it, and it lets out a clear but high pitched tone.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] Gosh, that is so pretentious.
Sydney: About half a second after the bell sounds, the door opens, and we see Reginald in his classic butler attire lean into the room.
Sydney (as Reginald): My lord, are you ready for lunch?
Nick (as Rye): Yes, please. I appreciate it. Thank you, Reginald.
Sydney (as Reginald): Milady, will you be joining us for lunch?
Cameron (as Emma): Yes, thank you.
Sydney (as Reginald): Excellent.
Sydney: And he leans back out, and then immediately a rolling cart with two silver dish covers is wheeled into the room. And Reginald quickly deploys a folding table that's pulled out from the other side of the desk, and he swiftly screws things into place, and between the two of you is - if you hadn't seen it assembled, it would just be a very nice dining table and he flicks a tablecloth across it, tucks in the corners, and then puts one platter in front of each of you.
Sydney (as Reginald): Enjoy.
Nick (as Rye): Thank you. Thank you very much.
Sydney: And he lifts up the covers and places them back on his cart.
Sydney (as Reginald): My lord, my lady, let me know if you need anything else.
Cameron (as Emma): Thank you.
Nick (as Rye): We will, and you can call me Rye, like I said.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, my lord.
Nick (as Rye): Great, great, awesome. Thank you.
Sydney: And he takes two steps back, and then crosses his wrists behind his back and stands with his back straight to serve any requests that may come.
Cameron: Emma is snort giggling in her hand. [laughing] [continues to lose it in background until next time she speaks]
Nick (as Rye): Uh, Reginald, this is a this is a a conversation I'm sure you don't need to listen to. You are welcome to leave. You can go about your duties elsewhere.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, my lord. I understand that I am welcome. I will, however, be remaining here unless you issue me other orders.
Nick (as Rye): I - oh okay. Great.
Cameron: Emma is watching Rye suffer in this situation and turns to Reginald and says,
Cameron (as Emma): Reginald, could I please have a glass of lemonade?
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, milady.
Cameron (as Emma): Thank you.
Sydney: And he turns and strides out of the room.
Cameron (as Emma): There go.
Nick (as Rye): Oh, that was that was good. That's a very good idea. I like that. I'm going to use that.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, just -
Nick (as Rye): I -
Cameron (as Emma): - ask him to get you something. He wants to buttle. Let him let him buttle.
Nick (as Rye): [sigh] I'm just not good at asking people for things, and they're - the whole staff was so polite when I signed on, and I can't make them stop being how they are, and it's it's a lot. It's just so much.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, from my past meetings here, it does appear very consistent behavior wise. I mean, but if if you like, if you don't if you don't want someone like remaining in the room, like you can tell them to like go back to their desks, or don't if you give it as a suggestion, it's not gonna, it's not gonna happen. You you're either gonna have to call in Contrail to come and assist you with assigning people tasks to get them to go do other things, or you're just going to have to send them off on lemonade runs and or just ask them to go take care of something for you. But like that is the I that is their their job. You're paying them.
Sydney: Reginald walks back into the room with a very nicely presented clear glass of lemonade with ice in it and places it in front of Emma.
Sydney (as Reginald): Fresh squeezed for my lady.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh, thank you so much. Rye?
Nick (as Rye): Thank you, Reginald. That will be all.
Nick: And Rye does a dismissive hand gesture.
Sydney: Reginald gives an approving nod.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, my lord.
Sydney: And turns on his heel and leaves the room and closes the door behind him.
Nick (as Rye): Holy shit!
Cameron (as Emma): See?
Nick (as Rye): Oh, I don't, I don't know how I feel about that, but it it sure worked.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah. So I feel like you were well off enough even before this, that this shouldn't necessarily be an adjustment for you.
Nick (as Rye): It's just different when you're the head of the company, I suppose. I mostly just kind of stayed out of the way and did my own thing, and people didn't look to me for orders in quite the same way,
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.
Nick (as Rye): And it just feels... weird. I don't know. I feel like I became more of - I understood the people of the city better and became more normal and wanted to be like that, like just not a silver spoon kind of guy. And now I'm in this position where I am being force-fed silver spoons on a regular basis.
Cameron (as Emma): [laughing] So important things to remember: you are paying your staff, Rye.
Nick (as Rye): What am I going to do? I can't fire them; they'd be out on the street.
Cameron (as Emma): No, I'm I'm not - I'm not saying to fire them. I'm saying remember, like it's it's not that you are like having silver spoons shoved in your mouth, like it is, you are now the the head of a, from what I understand, very large company. Your office does need to reflect that professionalism. I I will say I do find the the formality of your staff rather hilarious and endearing, but I think for practice, if you want to try and get better at it, you can either just like try to channel Opal for like like like like you just did with dismissing him, or you can just say the same things that you think Opal would say, and then just add like a thank you or a please in there to make it more conversational rather than orders?
Nick: There's a sharp rap on the door, and the door swings open before Rye can say anything. And Barnaby the lawyer is standing in the doorway. It says,
Nick (as Barnaby): Oh, Rye, there are some more contracts that I need you to sign, sir.
Nick: And Barnaby stalks into the room and with what looks like a full ream of paper that's held together with a thick rubber band and plops it onto the table next to the lunch.
Nick (as Barnaby): I'll just stand here as you review it, sir.
Nick (as Rye): No, Barnaby, that will be all. I - go away. I will deal with that later.
Nick (as Barnaby): Oh no, sir! This is quite important.
Nick (as Rye): Is get the fuck out of my office, Barnaby. Please and thank you.
Nick: Barnaby looks slightly aghast, but covers it well.
Nick (as Barnaby): I - we can review them another time, sir.
Nick: And Barnaby backs towards the doorway very slowly, as though waiting for Rye to say something else.
Nick (as Rye): Ah, in the name of Croos now, Barnaby! Get the fuck out!
Cameron: Emma has face palmed on the table.
Nick (as Rye): Well, so most of them are okay. Barnaby, I can't stand,
Cameron (as Emma): [losing it]
Nick (as Rye): - but he knows so much about the legal portion of things, there's nothing I can do about that. Look at this contract. It's hand written. This is 500 pages. I have no idea how he is this productive.
Cameron (as Emma): [still laughing] I feel - oh the the swing, the swing that we took. Rye - the, how how do you go from being unable to get Reginald to leave the room at all -
Nick (as Rye): I like Reginald.
Cameron (as Emma): - to screaming at Barnaby like that?
Nick (as Rye): I don't like Barnaby.
Cameron (as Emma): [sigh] I just, I would recommend toning down your language. Goodness gracious!
Nick (as Rye):
Look at this contract. This is about nothing. This is a renewal of something else that is already referenced, and he did it all long form. I, I don't want to read this. I don't want to do this.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay, right. Then tell him to put together a summary for you and present it, and then you'll sign it. Like,
Nick (as Rye): I, I guess we could do that. I I don't know. There's just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. I I will endeavor to be more polite to him and more assertive with the rest of my staff. Thank you, but anyway, it's probably time that we eat for lunch.
Nick: And Rye looks down, looks kind of perplexed, says
Nick (as Rye): One one second.
Nick: Rings the bell for Reginald.
Sydney: Reginald again, half a second from the bell ringing, opens the door to the room, and he has a slight twinkle in his eye, having heard the interaction with Barnaby.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, my lord?
Nick (as Rye): Reginald, what did you serve us? I don't understand what's in front of me on this plate. Please tell me what lunch is.
Sydney (as Reginald): My lord, lunch is a light meal eaten in the middle of the day, typically between breakfast and dinner. But you may not find that important right now, sir. Would you like to know what you're eating right now?
Nick (as Rye): Yes.
Nick: There's just dead-faced Rye staring at Reginald.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, my lord. That is one of Opal's favorite dishes to serve to her guests. It is white soup.
Nick (as Rye): What is in the soup, Reginald? Please and thank you.
Nick: He looks over to Emma like, 'Did I do it right?'
Cameron: Emma nods encouragingly.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, my lord. This soup is made with stewed chicken thighs, bacon, rice, anchovies, pepper, thyme, bay parsley, onions, celery, sugared almonds to garnish, and cream.
Nick (as Rye): Okay, I was going to complain about how complex it is, but that actually sounds really good, so thank you.
Sydney (as Reginald): Of course, my lord.
Sydney: And he posts back up with his arms crossed behind his back.
Nick (as Rye): [groan] Um, we're going to eat this now.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, my lord.
Nick (as Rye): Be gone, or whatever.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, my lord.
Cameron (as Emma): That'll be all, Reginald. Thank you.
Sydney: He gives a deep nod to Emma.
Sydney (as Reginald): Yes, my lady.
Sydney: And leaves the room again, closing the door.
Nick: After the door closes, Rye says,
Nick (as Rye): Thank you. Damn it.
Cameron (as Emma): [laughing] Oh my god! I'm gonna before I leave, I'm gonna write you a script.
Nick (as Rye): That'd be nice.
Cameron (as Emma): And then and then you can just pick one of the lines I give you and just say that.
Nick (as Rye): It wasn't that bad! I'm a very socially conscious person. I interact well with people. Just something about this. I've gotten in my own head about it, and I can't stop fucking it up. I don't know.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay.
Nick (as Rye): The company's doing well. We're flourishing. I've managed to seize control of almost all of the holdings with minimal losses. Things are operating smoothly. We're starting to serve the city. All of that is great, but for some reason, my staff in this office, I just cannot interact with in a non weird way, except for Contrail, which is strange in its own right because Contrail is just very interesting person that is difficult to talk to sometimes. Nothing against her; it just like her reactions to things don't make sense all the time. So I'm talking too much. You said that you all are getting ready to leave? Did you say that? Did I make that up?
Cameron (as Emma): No, I yeah, I said before we leave, but yeah, we are we are getting to that point. I've finished pretty much all of the repairs to our equipment. Now I just, there's some shining and buffing I have to do to make sure that the metal stays all nice and shiny and healthy when potentially getting wet. But yeah, we're we're gonna be hitting the road pretty soon here.
Nick (as Rye): Emma, you have quickly become one of my closest friends and confidants. I feel a strong bond with you, and I am sorry to hear that you are leaving, and I wish you wouldn't. That's there. That's that's what I wanted to say. I it'd be really cool for you to stay in Sasnak Traveling here with me, your your friend.
Cameron: Emma gently sets her spoon down and says,
Cameron (as Emma): It it has been a delight getting to know you and being your friend while we've been here. I I don't think I can live here, Rye. Honestly.
Nick (as Rye): Why not?
Cameron (as Emma): You've seen your city, Rye. I -
Nick (as Rye): Kind of rude.
Cameron (as Emma): Look, I'd end up in jail very quickly, probably. I recognize that like some people are trying to make changes to the social structure and city infrastructure, and I I think that that is that is excellent and very necessary. I don't think that I have the patience to allow the necessary changes to go through the expected bureaucratic processes when they could be resolved far quicker by me just making them happen - possibly through violence for the people who deserve it, so yeah. I I I recognize that like you've already started to make changes, and I I think that's great, but I one - I I I I don't think I could handle it, and and two - I can't leave the Patina like that.
Nick (as Rye): I understand.
Cameron (as Emma): That's like asking me to let like three of my sisters leave with me still here.
Nick (as Rye): That's the answer I expected, but I I felt like I had to try.
Cameron (as Emma): Plus, they would they would take all my fun toys. I wouldn't be able to work on the giant robots anymore.
Nick (as Rye): It's understandable. Well, I I had to ask, and I did, and I got the answer I pretty much expected. So let's not talk any more about it. Let's just enjoy our soup and chat for a while about nothing important. And you can help me keep the waitstaff out of here. How does that sound?
Cameron (as Emma): That sounds like a great plan. The soup is very good, actually.
Nick (as Rye): Oh yeah, I should -
Nick: And Rye tries a spoonful of it.
Nick (as Rye): Hot damn, that is really good. Okay, maybe being rich and owning a whole mega corporation isn't so bad.
Cameron: Emma gives Rye the look.
Nick (as Rye): It was supposed to be a joke.
Cameron (as Emma): [exasperated sigh] It [laugh]. It - [sigh] never mind. That is such a dumb, a dumb privileged statement, Rye.
Nick: And we cut away from Opal Corp. Another day of preparation passes, and the Patina is finally packed and ready to leave the city. We find the rig parked at the storage facility where it has spent so long, ready to start its descent down the Ramp and out back into the world. And a group of onlookers has gathered to wish the Patina luck. The Foundlings and other members of the Stacks have gathered in the main room of the garage where the rig was parked. The rig is rumbling merrily, having been tuned by Emma over the last few months, and everybody pulls back from their latest round of hugs as they prepare to say goodbye.
Penn: Marathon ruffles some of the hair on two of the kiddos that she had befriended.
Penn (as Marathon): And y'all make sure you go say hi to Carbon for me, okay? Before you go. Before I go. No. After I go.
Kit (as Orphan): Which one is it?
Penn (as Marathon): You know, Carbon Steel? The guy that won two years ago.
Sydney (as Orphan): No before when after before go?
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, after I go. Sorry, I was trying -
Cameron (as Orphan): Wait, right now?
Penn (as Marathon): No, no. After I leave.
Cameron (as Orphan): Okay.
Penn (as Marathon): Just wait. Just hold up. Give it - let's say we're gonna leave in like an hour and a half. In an hour and a half,
Cameron (as Orphan): All right.
Penn (as Marathon): Mission: Find Carbon.
Cameron (as Orphan): Okay.
Kit (as Orphan): Nona told us not to talk to strangers.
Nick (as Orphan): [overlapping] We know Carbon.
Penn (as Marathon): [overlapping] Well, Carbon Steel isn't a stranger anymore.
Cameron (as Orphan): I I know Carbon. I've seen him race.
Penn (as Marathon): Yes, exactly.
Cameron (as Orphan): We're friends.
Kit (as Orphan): I don't know him.
Penn (as Marathon): [overlapping] You can usually trust famous people.
Cameron (as Orphan): You don't have to come!
Sydney (as Orphan): He talks about five plus one. It's a fancy thing.
Cameron (as Orphan): I'll introduce you, and then he won't be a stranger.
Kit (as Orphan): That's not how that works. But okay.
Cameron (as Orphan): [overlapping] Yeah it is!
Penn (as Marathon): [overlapping] But anyway, stay fresh kids
Kit (as Orphan): [overlapping] We're gonna miss you Marathon.
Cameron (as Orphan): How else do you make people not strangers?
Penn (as Marathon): Be nice to Nona.
Kit (as Orphan): We're gonna miss you, Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): I'll miss you too.
Sydney (as Orphan): Yeah.
Penn (as Marathon): I'll miss you too. Oh, okay. One more little hug.
Penn: And Marathon goes down to one knee.
Cameron: She gets tackled.
Penn (as Marathon): [dramatic groan]
Sydney: Pile of orphans.
Nick: We see Juno standing in the middle of the Foundlings, and they scratch at the back of their head and say,
Nick (as Juno): Well uh, goodbye, I guess. It's been it's been cool. Don't be a stranger.
Kit (as Birdie): I won't be. You know, I won't be. It's been - I'm really glad that we got to see each other, and we did do some cool missions and stuff. We did we did fun stuff. You saved my life a couple times, so there you go.
Nick (as Juno): [overlapping] Yeah, things were good.
Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] Kind of like micro-dosed the old days.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, I got to blow up some of the bombs that I had, and that was good and useful for research and you, you, and your new friends created a lot of chaos. I'm very much on board.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, well...
Sydney (as Winifred): We've always got a spare room for you.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Winifred): And I've adjusted our incoming transmission things. If you use that code I sent you, you can actually message all of us and not just Vaus.
Sydney: And Winifred casts a sidelong glance.
Kit: Vaus beams with absolutely no guilt, and will ruffle Birdie's hair, and then give her a massive hug, purposefully leaning their much taller form onto Birdie's in a very sibling hug. And Birdie will go,
Kit (as Birdie): Oh my god! Okay, yeah. Well, thank you guys. I appreciate it, and yeah, yeah. I'll come back soon, hopefully. It'll be fun. It'd be nice to see you guys again with lower stakes this time.
Sydney (as Winifred): Hmm yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): [sweetly sarcastic] You don't have to worry we're gonna be mad that you're alive and coming back to see us again.
Sydney (as Winifred): Now you're just visiting.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah! Just visiting, just seeing seeing the kiddos and catching up with everybody. Now that you know there are some things that are much better about this city, I think? Maybe? Question mark? I don't know. Maybe I'll need to avoid the Ramp Girls more now.
Sydney (as Winifred): [short laugh] If you could ever have done that.
Cameron (as Janus): Um,
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah...
Cameron (as Janus): Maybe, maybe, maybe a little, yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): Just for a while. I'm, I'm, I'm sure it'll calm down.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, I mean, Karma and I are cool now. It's fine. Yeah, but anyways, it doesn't - that doesn't matter. I'll...
Sydney (as Winifred): [incredulous] Hmm.
Cameron: Janus gives Birdie a skeptical look.
Kit (as Birdie): We're cool. We're fine. It's like, -
Cameron (as Janus): Okay, yeah, sure.
Kit (as Birdie): - we're just not gonna ever really talk again. Um
Cameron (as Janus): [giggle] Okay.
Kit (as Birdie): And that's okay. One more round of hugs.
Nick (as Juno): Personal growth!
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Kit: And Birdie will go around to each of them and give them a massive hug, including Juno, which she purposely makes it very mushy just to mess with them.
Nick (as Juno): Ahhh.
Cameron: While Birdie is hugging Juno, Janus runs over and gets behind Birdie and starts forming a group hug Birdie sandwich to add more hugs to Juno.
Nick (as Juno): Bahhhh!
Sydney: Winifred can't resist joining on the other corner.
Kit: And then Vaus comes up behind Juno, and all of a sudden it's a Juno-Birdie hug sandwich.
Nick (as Juno): Ahhhh!
Kit (as Birdie): [breathless] Okay, can't breathe. Can't breathe.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay, okay.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. [huge breath] Okay.
Sydney (as Winifred): Maria sends her best too. She had to work today, but we got dinner with her, so
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, exactly. And I got to got to say goodbye to Maria. I got to say goodbye to the kids. Did I forget anyone? No, I don't think I did. I said goodbye to Nona. Of course, she would have killed me.
Penn (as Marathon): [from a distance] Help! They're trying to take my goodbye cookies! Help~!
Kit (as Birdie): Oh..
Sydney: Cassidy wades into the orphans and starts pushing away.
Penn (as Marathon): Take them, Cassidy! Here, here!
Penn: And Marathon holds up her cookies above the heads of everybody.
Sydney: Cassidy scoops them up and runs off with one orphan having taken a few steps before turning around and going back to messing with Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): [mix between sigh of relief and exhaustion] Avenge me~!
Kit (as Orphan): It was never about the cookies, Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh shi-! [manages not to laugh] Oh dirt.
Cameron (as Janus): Well, before she was taken down by children, Marathon put all of your new reading material in the back of the truck, so
Kit (as Birdie): Oh gosh.
Cameron (as Janus): Next time you come through, I can can upgrade you and swap you out and get you new ones.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, yeah, I think we'd like that. Yeah, it's nice to to have on the road. So thank you.
Cameron (as Janus): Can have your own little truck book club.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah,
Cameron (as Janus): I did. I did put in um in bookmarks in them that do have book club-esque questions in them for you to discuss as well.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh~. This will definitely make things more interesting. We normally just kind of - well, when I'm allowed to read, I read the smut in funny voices, and I don't know if anyone likes it, but I like it.
Cameron (as Janus): I'm pretty sure that's a requirement.
Kit (as Birdie): It's got to be done.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): So
Cameron (as Janus): Otherwise, no. Yeah, no.
Kit (as Birdie): How else would you have fun with it?
Cameron (as Janus): Precisely.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): You can't, you can't say those words in a serious context. It's impossible.
Kit (as Birdie): No.
Cameron (as Janus): That language was not meant to be said in a serious, normal voice.
Sydney (as Winifred): Well, you don't like reading about two hands around a maypole?
Cameron (as Janus): Oh, I no -
Kit (as Birdie): Two hands???
Cameron (as Janus): You miss- you misunderstand. I love reading about it,
Sydney (as Winifred): Mmmm. [laugh] But reading it aloud.
Cameron (as Janus): It cannot be taken seriously.
Kit (as Birdie): No.
Cameron (as Janus): It is incredibly unrealistic -
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah,
Cameron (as Janus): - and very unaware of anatomy in general. But that's part of what makes it so entertaining: is that you get to try to figure out where all the limbs are as you're reading.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh! That can be one of our book club questions. Where was everyone's limbs the last time we left them?
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah. How many hands are exactly involved in the situation? [laughing] Because I'm pretty sure there's too many.
Sydney (as Winifred): You can be pretty creative. You never know until you try it.
Kit (as Birdie): No!
Cameron (as Janus): Okay. You can be creative, but like gaining limbs and appendages, Winifred?
Sydney (as Winifred): [overlapping] There's at least one that likes to come and go.
Cameron (as Janus): [overlapping] Like, you gotta count -
Kit (as Birdie): I think -
Cameron (as Janus): Hands.
Kit (as Birdie): Well...
Cameron (as Janus): Hands, Winifred.
Sydney (as Winifred): Hmm.
Cameron (as Janus): Hands.
Cameron: Janus is holding both hands up in front of her, like hands.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, no more. [laugh] No more of this, please. I am going to attempt to rescue Marathon from the orphans and let them know to be extra-nice to Nona. So, thank you guys for coming, though.
Cameron (as Janus): Of course.
Sydney (as Winifred): And we'll be in touch.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, we will.
Sydney (as Winifred): Let me know how the fixes we made go.
Cameron (as Janus): Remember that we love you, and you can come back any time, and you're welcome.
Sydney (as Winifred): That too.
Kit (as Birdie): I will. I will remember.
Cameron (as Janus): And if you don't come visit us, then Winifred controls the city now, so we'll come find you.
Sydney (as Winifred): Oh, I don't know about that. I still got a lot to learn.
Cameron (as Janus): No, no, it's - we will find you. The city will find you.
Sydney (as Winifred): Hmm.
Kit (as Birdie): Well,
Cameron (as Janus): It's not - It's not a threat. It's a promise, Birdie.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Sydney (as Winifred): Yeah. You can't avoid us that easily.
Cameron (as Janus): [giggle] I love you. I hope you have a great trip!
Kit (as Birdie): I love you all very much, and yeah, well, I'll I'll contact you very soon. As soon as we are in a good place to actually send communications, because we're gonna probably be going into some mountains and notoriously not great, but as soon as I can.
Sydney (as Winifred): At some point.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Winifred): We know you're alive now.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, exactly.
Cameron (as Janus): Okay, go save Marathon.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, I'm gonna. [voice tightening]
Kit: And before Birdie can have the happy tears of goodbye once more, she's gonna go and join the fray of Marathon getting jungle-gymmed by these kids, not necessarily on the side of Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh no, you're invincible too! Dang it! No!
Sydney: Cassidy's watching now, holding the cookie ration. She's standing, leaning against the rig, talking to Audrey and Surge.
Cameron: Emma had run across the large garage room over to where Riley happens to be on shift again, and gifted them some specially picked nail polishes for them, and talked to them a bit, and gave them a hug, and has now returned and is with Cassidy talking to Audrey and Surge.
Sydney (as Cassidy): So yeah, we've got our bikes. They're a little bit, you know, bigger and more flat ground suited. But what's left of mine, I dedicate our team victory to you, and you you're welcome to find a new driver who will maybe be a little nicer to it.
Nick (as Surge): Oh wow~. that's very kind of you. Thank you very much for giving us the broken motorcycle.
Kit (as Audrey): We'll take really good care of it.
Cameron (as Emma): Surge. [laughing] Dude, stop!
Kit (as Audrey): Yeah.
Kit: And Audrey, not so subtly, has elbowed Surge between some ribs.
Nick (as Surge): It does have a champion's pedigree, so there's certainly things to be used. Thank you. Actually thank you.
Cameron (as Emma): So now, now you can use it as a breeding stud?
Nick (as Surge): No, it's it's -
Sydney (as Cassidy): One piece into each successor bike, and now they're all the winning bike.
Cameron (as Emma): Now those bikes are all of that champion lineage.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh huh.
Kit (as Audrey): Yeah, that's totally how it works. Definitely.
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We couldn't have done it without you.
Cameron (as Emma): And we we fixed the biggest problem with the bike, Surge. I helped.
Kit (as Audrey): Yeah!
Cameron (as Emma): It's it's functioning right now. You don't have a broken bike.
Nick (as Surge): Yes, this is true. It'll be fine. Sorry to see you go. I was already planning for next season.
Cameron (as Emma): Who knows? Maybe we'll just happen to be back for next season.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, we'll show back up and re-panic train, and try to come win again.
Cameron (as Emma): I mean, it worked out worked out pretty good this time.
Kit (as Audrey): Yeah, then you'll get a reputation.
Cameron (as Emma): [laugh]
Nick (as Surge): There's always a space here in the city for the Shard and Hellcat.
Kit (as Audrey): Yeah!
Sydney (as Cassidy): Appreciate it.
Cameron (as Emma): Who are like cryptids and only show up for the X bike season and then mysteriously disappear again.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yes, exactly.
Cameron (as Emma): No, we we we really appreciate y'all working with us on that and helping lend us a hand and a bike and -
Kit (as Audrey): Always.
Cameron (as Emma): - it was great working with y'all in the shop.
Kit (as Audrey): Yeah, it was so fun. And we'll miss you guys. Right, Surge?
Nick (as Surge): Yeah, we'll miss you guys so much. All the stress and last minute engineering is something that I will think of fondly for all my days.
Kit (as Audrey): Exactly.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, you know, I'm really glad to hear it, Surge. I think we've really come to a good, clear, mutual understanding.
Nick: Surge smiles hugely and genuinely holds up a hand for a fist bump with Cassidy.
Sydney: Cassidy returns it with her own grin.
Cameron: Emma looks to Audrey like,
Cameron (as Emma): I'm really glad we didn't have to have them interact all that much.
Kit (as Audrey): Yeah, but I'll miss you guys anyways.
Cameron (as Emma): Yes.
Kit: And she'll give Emma a big hug and then scoot herself and Emma over and somewhat surprise-attack Surge to make them join a big group hug.
Nick: Surge looks surprised for a second and then joins the hug, smiling. Everybody's tucked into the hug, so they can't see that Surge is actually looking pretty wistful at the interaction and will actually miss them.
Kit (as Audrey): [quietly] Softy.
Nick (as Surge): [quietly] Don't tell anyone.
Penn (as Marathon): [from a distance] Now, with the power of Oliver on my shoulder, no one will defeat me! Ah~, I've been defeated! Oh no!
[group laughing]
Cameron (as Emma): I'm - poor Marathon. [laughing]
Kit (as Audrey): She loves it.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, she does.
Kit (as Audrey): She'd be really great if you guys ever have like kids down the road or something, Cassidy.
Kit: And Audrey's giving a really big, overly fake smile because she loves passing on the familial, awkward conversation to other couples.
Sydney: Cassidy makes a very flat mouth face back at Audrey.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I'll tell you the same thing I told Marathon - that the road's not a good place for even pets. It's definitely not a place for young children.
Nick: It's Surge's turn to elbow Audrey like,
Nick (as Surge): Come on. Don't do that.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, Cassidy, but before you all have kids, can I at least have a puppy?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, it's - sure.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay, thank you.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I think that's a good first step, if we can prove that we can have a dog. All right, Patina! We gotta get on the road. We're burning gas sitting here, and we want to get away from the city while it's still light.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Penn (as Marathon): All right, all right, kiddos. Time to go say hi to Nona. Don't forget, Carbon X Vaus. See what you can make happen. Yeah, no pressure.
Kit (as Birdie): That's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen. Don't get your hopes up. Sorry, Marathon. [laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): Ah, it's all right. Okay, kids, be nice for Nona. Eat all the food that's not cookies too.
Nick (as Orphan): Okay.
Penn (as Marathon): Yep.
Cameron (as Orphan): Yes Miss Marathon.
Sydney (as Orphan): But I like the cookies.
Cameron (as Orphan): She didn't say we. She didn't say we couldn't eat cookies.
Penn (as Marathon): And I'm serious. If anybody sneaks onto the rig, you're kicked out. So...
Kit (as Birdie): No, you're not. Okay. Come on, Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Don't get on the rig. See ya. Love y'all!
Cameron: Janus walks over and uses her parental powers to corral the children and take them over to where Winifred, Vaus, and Juno are standing.
Kit: Birdie is walking backwards towards the rig to wave at the Foundlings as she shoulders her backpack and she's blowing kisses,
Kit (as Birdie): Bye! I love you more. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Cameron: Emma does one last sweep of the garage to make sure that she didn't accidentally forget to grab anything and nothing fell into any corners.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Emma, do you want me to just pull the rig out a little bit and you can check under it?
Cameron (as Emma): That'd be excellent, actually. I think I got everything - like I crawled under the rig, but just like I'm gonna think about it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We haven't moved in a while, so we gotta make sure the tires -
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): All right.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Here, I'll get us moving, and we'll we'll do one last pass.
Cameron (as Emma): Thank you~.
Sydney: And Cassidy climbs up and eases the rig forward slightly.
Cameron: As soon as the back of the rig has fully exited the garage space, Emma does a quick sweep with her eyes, and then does a really big sigh, and walks to what would have essentially been under the center of the rig, and picks up a screwdriver, and then just walks back to the front and just chucks it through the tarp in the back to land in the back of the rig, and then hops up into the passenger seat.
Sydney: Winifred breaks off from the group for a second and hits a couple of buttons on her tablet to reset the security of the garage back to standard now that there's no super secret, super dangerous weapons lurking, and gives a wink to Emma sitting in the back of the rig before rejoining the group,
Cameron: Emma does a thumbs up.
Sydney: That key card that she'd given Emma is now a present to be dissected for learning. Cassidy leans out the driver's side.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Emma, you got it? Are we all we all clear?
Cameron (as Emma): Yep, I am already in the passenger seat.
Sydney: Cassidy now looks to see Emma in the passenger seat.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Oh, hi.
Cameron (as Emma): That's what that's what you get for only looking out the left side. Is I, I gra-, I yeah. There was a screwdriver on the ground. I picked it up, put it in the back. I'm here now.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay. Well, good. Good to see you.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah. You too.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, I can't wait to hit the road again.
Penn: Marathon says from behind Emma.
Cameron: Everyone somehow got into the rig without Cassidy noticing. [laughing]
Sydney: Cassidy reviews the contents of the back seat, including the other two members of the Patina.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay, we're all here then.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, let's roll out.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, let's let's get let's get to it. I guess.
Cameron (as Emma): Do you remember how to drive?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh~ hopefully.
Penn (as Marathon): It's been so long.
Sydney: And Cassidy very very carefully, just like she did to move it forward, eases it into gear, doing her best to make sure she doesn't stall it before they get moving, and the group starts to part to let them pass.
Penn (as Marathon): Bye, y'all! Much love.
Cameron (as Emma): Bye!
Sydney (as Cassidy): Bye!
Kit (as Birdie): Bye!
Cameron (as Orphan): Bye, Marathon!
Sydney (as Winifred): Bye.
Penn (as Marathon): Aww. See ya!
Nick (as Juno): [possibly a goat saying "bye"?]
Cameron (as Janus): What was that noise, Juno?
Nick (as Juno): I don't know. Emotions, I guess.
Cameron (as Janus): Oh, okay.
Sydney (as Winifred): We do often have those, yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): Just, just wave and just wave and say bye, Juno. Just wave and say bye.
Nick (as Juno): Bye~.
Sydney: And the rig slowly pulls forward and starts heading out of the, what had been short-term parking, but was not for them, down back towards the Ramp.
Nick: The rig makes its way to the beginning of the Ramp and finds itself at the end of a long line of vehicles and pedestrians working their way down the Ramp past the Ramp Girls and out of the city. It looks like it's going to be a while waiting in line before the Patina is able to actually leave.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, I guess -
Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping] That was a fun drive.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [overlapping] Yeah - they're making sure we're not -
Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping]Do y'all wanna take a break?
Sydney (as Cassidy): - smuggling mercenaries.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh my god.
Kit: Yeah, they really
Penn (as Marathon): Pass me my cookies, please.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, here. The cookies are over there.
Kit (as Birdie): They really tightened up security measures.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, they did just get invaded. So
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, I know.
Kit: As they settle their place in line as they've hit - because there's like a lot of people having to zipper merge as the line becomes single file, given the Ramp Girls' love of organization and efficiency, which is partially why the line is so long. A portion of the Ramp that they're currently on has a small hatch that's bright red, labeled EXIT. But Birdie knows that this goes directly towards an entrance for the Guts that goes right past a set of offices. And if anyone's looking at Birdie, they can see her eyes moving in some sort of way that is-it's like she's doing an algebra problem in her head.
Kit (as Birdie): I think every um - stay stay you know like, stay in line. I'm gonna go grab something. I'll be right back.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay?
Kit (as Birdie): 15 minutes or less.
Cameron (as Emma): All right…
Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] Swear to Cruz. Um, 15 minutes.
Penn (as Marathon): [overlapping] Don't worry, I'm good at stalling.
Sydney (as Cassidy): If we get to the bottom and you're not on the rig, you're not gonna be able to find us again.
Kit (as Birdie): That's fine. I will. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be coming out really, really fast. So
Penn (as Marathon): I'll make sure we're stalling for you, Birdie. Don't worry.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [tired of this ride already] Yeah, boy.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, I mean, if if you gotta go, go. You're - I guess you're wasting time right now.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, great. Bye.
Kit: And she's going to half leap out of the rig.
Penn (as Marathon): [yelling] Wait, what'd you forget?
Kit: And run up on foot to the hatch, and before she even hears Marathon, she's tossing the hatch open and going through and shutting it behind herself. And in a scene of pure adrenaline, she runs down the set of halls that she's been able to familiarize herself with much more after spending several hours with Juno, in which they info dumped for almost three of those hours about the Guts, and she's mumbling to herself,
Kit (as Birdie): Left, left at the - left at the, and then right at the -
Kit: As she goes on to where Marcus's office is.
Nick: Marcus's office is tucked into a corner of the beginning of the Guts. It is surprisingly small, considering how much work the Drain Boys do and how many different activities are coordinated out of this office, but there's a large window that looks out from behind a desk that has the anti-break steel lacing in it, and you can see Birdie as you get close, there's not very many people around; just some Drain Boys scurrying about their business, and you can see the hulking form of Marcus seated at his desk talking in a radio.
Kit: Birdie will take a quick glance around, but she's pretty good at sneaking through places, even though she looks pretty out of the norm of who comes to this part of the Guts. And she will open the door to Marcus's office and then shut it behind her very quickly.
Nick (as Marcus): Uh. Can I help you?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, you can. Do you remember me? Birdie Foundling? Yeah? You remember me?
Nick (as Marcus): Uh doesn't ring a bell.
Kit (as Birdie): Done jobs for you.
Nick (as Marcus): Oh, I mean Foundling. That sounds familiar, but I thought - oh, you're alive.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Nick (as Marcus): Man, it's been years. How have you been?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, yeah. You know, like I remember that was that that was that job that got the the big coolant system of the Guts, you know, blown up. That was the - you gave us that job was seven years ago now. Do you remember that?
Nick (as Marcus): Look, things happen in the Guts.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah no, of course.
Nick (as Marcus): I can't be arsed to remember every little thing. I'm sure it went badly for you. I know it did.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah -
Nick (as Marcus): But that happens, right?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Nick (as Marcus): You can't plan for everything in the Guts.
Kit (as Birdie): Bad things happen in the Guts because it's just a bad place, isn't it?
Kit: And Birdie, with absolutely no warning, is going to, in a state of pure adrenaline-fueled rage, is going to basically leap over Marcus's desk to start wailing on him.
Nick: He is just absolutely surprised by this and tries to get his arms up, but ends up bowling backwards in his chair, and you end up perched on his chest, able to just ground and pound this guy as much as you want.
Kit: She limits it to maybe 30 seconds to a minute, enough that she split most of her knuckles and barely notices if Marcus is able to get any hits back on her because she's out of herself right now. As soon as she sees an opening, will with the same speed and fervor, get up and run out of the office and take the way back to the rig where she came. And she's definitely not, not bloody.
Nick: The last Birdie sees with one glance back as she's making her escape is Marcus's office through that window. Everything is thrown everywhere. The desk has been overturned. The chair has been overturned, and Marcus is prone on the ground. He tries to bring a hand up to wipe at some of the blood on his face, but then that falls, and he appears to be unconscious.
Kit: Birdie doesn't see any of this because of the more urgent need to get back to her friends and be done with it all. Sometimes taking revenge is not the answer for bad things that have happened in the past and may or may not be someone's fault, but you know she does feel better and she manages, I think, to clear her way back to a portion of the Ramp that's a little further along, and comes right back out to the line, approaching the rig like nothing happened.
Nick: So Birdie hops back into the rig with the rest of the Patina and acts like nothing has changed?
Penn (as Marathon): Did you get it?
Kit (as Birdie): Yep, I got it done. Thanks for being patient.
Cameron: Emma turns around in the seat to look at Birdie.
Kit: Birdie is shaking.
Cameron (as Emma): Holy shit! What happened to your hands?
Penn (as Marathon): Oh wow!
Kit (as Birdie): Oh no, it's good. I'm all good.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh my gosh!
Penn (as Marathon): Um.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. Woo!
Cameron (as Emma): Marathon the first aid kit is underneath Cassidy's seat.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah I'll get that.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, here.
Sydney: And Cassidy gives the first aid kit over and then puts her hand over her face.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I'm not. I didn't see anything. I don't know anything. Don't discuss it till we're through the checkpoint, so that I don't have to lie to them.
Penn (as Marathon): It wasn't me.
Kit (as Birdie): Yep, they are all good. We are all good to go. Nothing to discuss.
Nick: And we see the rig slowly roll forward in the line as Birdie gets her knuckles bandaged, and the Patina is able to get through this final checkpoint with minimal questioning and minimal taxes and fees levied against them. And as they roll down the rest of the Ramp towards the ground, we see Karma off to the side, watching them from one of the booths.
Sydney: Karma is standing at a parade rest, looking out from behind the glass, watching the rig begin to clear the end of the Ramp, and she thinks back to everything that's happened over the last few weeks. Her face is looking almost back to the way it was, just a little bit more weathered on top of the other scars and memories that she has accrued. And one of her staff behind alerts her to an incoming call, and she turns to go lean over their console as she is informed that something happened to Marcus Plunger, the head of the Drain Boys.
Nick: And as she gets that call, the wheels of the rig touch grass for the first time in a long time, and from the top of the Ramp, we see Gwendolyn watching as the rig begins to pull away.
Penn: Gwen, we see her listening to something from a radio that she's got handheld, and she looks dubiously at the Patina before giving them a slow thumbs up.
Nick: And the rig now encased in the deep rumbling sound of the city above, rolling onward without the sound dampening to protect them, drives as Cassidy puts it into gear, and they begin to pull away. The cab of the rig is bathed in afternoon light as they pull out from the shadow of Sasnak Traveling, and the Patina heads West towards their next adventure.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind