Looks like it’s up to the Patina and their new friend to save the train!
Looks like it’s up to the Patina and their new friend to save the train!
- Professor Jupiter is played by Bee Zelda. Bee, your non binary busy bee, can be found on twitter @bee_zelda. They are a podcaster, a member of the Broadswords, the host of Anime Attache, and a player on the Power Play podcast. They are a twitch streamer, they have co-produced their own show on Roll20 called Indie Showcase, they host Tabletop Otaku for Origins Game fair, and they are the community manager for D&D Adventurers League.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She also edits the show. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13. and on Instagram a @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support Patreon.com/TabletopSquadron.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- Jet planes » F-18 Super Hornet flyby (Near supersonic) by nicStage. Link & License.
- Throwing a bucket of water by eddybennet. Link & License.
- 44 Magnum.wav by dcsimon. Link & License.
- The Signals by Sergey Cheremisinov. Link & License.
- Rocky Roads by Stefano Vita. Link & License.
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
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A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Episode 20: Hot Tea
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Bee: Bee Zelda as Professor Jupiter.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
Thanks for voting for us in the 2021 Audio Verse Awards! Results for the first phase won’t be out for another week, so keep your fingers crossed, and listen to this space for updates. Or, jump in our Discord to hear it right from the source (which is still us, just without the two weeks between episodes). The link to join the Discord can be found in the show notes.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into episode 20: Hot Tea. And so...
Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Last time on A Knight of Shreds and Patches, Modem, Cassidy, and Emma start to navigate the inside of the train a little bit and they discover some pretty cool rooms. Nothing compares to the cart that is inspired by the most important part of Eagle Hill: baseball. There they meet this incredibly cool professor named Professor Jupiter who dazzles them and definitely doesn't have the doubt of any of the party. All is well, until food is dropped on the ground and the robbery is about to happen.
Nick: Cassidy, Emma, and Professor Jupiter, you are seated around the Yellow Socks table in the dining car on the Rondaxe line, rocketing at a breakneck speed towards Eagle Hill. You've just finished a very nice meal. More food is starting to be passed around when a man with two revolvers and a kerchief wrapped around his face, kicks open the door, pointing his guns towards the sky. It is a yellow kerchief with a green plaid pattern on it. He declares that this is a robbery.
Bee: I'm under the table. Tea cup in hand. While it's shaking and I'm spilling tea, but I'm still sipping it.
Sydney: So I think Cassidy does a rapid set of reflexes, none of which are useful. Her hand twitches as it goes towards her radio headset, which she's not wearing. And then her head twitches as she looks for where the rest of her crew is, and they're not here. And then looks at this guy and drinks her tea, and her hand is steady. But her mind is whirring as she's trying to figure out wh- Her weapons are three cars down, and her table mates are not as skilled of combatant as she's typically accompanied by.
Nick: What about you, Emma? Have you ever been robbed before?
Cameron: [laugh] No. The closest would be with the bandits attack in the woods. But Emma's life's been pretty tame prior to joining this group. When the robber entered the train car, Emma had been in the middle of pouring herself some more tea and continues to do so, but is now distracted by the robber. And the tea just is over filling the cup majorly and like filling up the saucer, and as it starts to reach the point where you're worried about it coming over the edge of the saucer and going on to the table, she realizes it and tips it back up and sets it down right next to her and then just places her hands back on her tea cup and then was going to grab the saucer with her left hand but then realized it's full of tea so stopped that and just picked up the cup with her right hand and took a sip - very calmly, but in a panicked calm way.
Nick: And as you all take in the sudden change in your environment. This bandit is pointing the guns very calmly at different people on the train. He's holstered one of the revolvers and is holding a big bag. He's making his way through the car, taking wallets, coin purses, jewelry, pretty much anything not nailed down from the rich clientele. And you can see that one man tries to bluster his way out of giving anything up and this robber leans in close and says something very quietly to him and the man goes pale and hands over his wallet, thoroughly intimidated, and he's coming towards your table now. The bag is already looking pretty full of expensive accessories from the clientele on the train. And Professor Jupiter are you peering out from under the tablecloth?
Bee: Mhhm. Oh yeah, especially if it was a nice clean tablecloth and now it's stained with the tea that's been dripping. So if I could like poke my head out, so it's just my giant glasses, which I think are white frames.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Um - Are you are you all going to do anything about that? Um, I have a lot of valuables on me that I don't want to get stolen.
Bee: And they're gonna look meaningfully at Cassidy and Emma.
Nick: Modem, while this is all happening looks almost zoned out. Just so unconcerned. People don't usually try to rob members of the Advantia because they don't have much worth stealing. Like they have wild tech, but usually it's strange bits and pieces, knowledge is their real trade. And also you don't want to mess with technological wizards if you can avoid it. So he seems to just be observing what everyone else is doing.
Sydney: Yeah, Cassidy has finished taking her calm sip of tea and slid a napkin over one of the knives on the table and slid that into her lap. She makes eye contact with Emma while she does this, Emma is her person that she's known for longer than a little bit, just to show that something's happening. She can't communicate to say there's a plan, but
Cameron: Emma nods and takes another small sip of tea from her cup.
Nick: And the bandit, after this quick exchange is right up next to you. You can tell from his eyes that he's smiling under his kerchief and he holds out the sack, you can hear the gentle clink of jewelry against wallets. He says,
Nick (as robber): Well, we're to the Yellow Socks table already. The theming is just wonderful this year. If you could please give me your valuables, wallets, jewelry, anything small. We'll be back through later with further instructions. If you could hurry that up, that would be great. No reason for anyone to be a hero.
Nick: So Professor Jupiter while this is happening, since you are very worried about being robbed, I need you to roll a Discipline check at hard difficulty to stay hidden under the table.
Cameron: It will be two greens and three purples.
Bee: Two successes and two threats.
Nick: Okay, so you manage to stay hidden. I think the threats are that, from shaking the table, the bandit gets very suspicious of Modem, thinking Modem is going to try something. And so you have not been discovered under the table yet, but the bandit notices that there's an empty place setting and looks to Modem. And he points the gun right between his eyes and says,
Nick (as robber): You - wizard. You have a lot of old tech. I need that, now.
Nick: And Modem puts his hands up with a little smile on his face and says
Nick (as Modem): You should know better than to mess with the member of the Advantia. I could burn you to a cinder where you stand. Don't try me, tiny man.
Nick: And you all have never heard him talk like this, but he seems cool as a cucumber. For some reason being under threat from a human is just so boring to him. He's just not interested. You all also see this approach is going to get Modem shot in the face here in a second. Professor Jupiter, you can tell that to just from the feet you can see where they're standing, that somebody at this table is probably about to get shot.
Bee: Okay, they're going to roll out pretty ungracefully from under the table.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Um no, no, no, no, no, please don't set anything on fire. Um [clears throat] There's a lot of valuables like memorabilia. Do you see what's on this wall? These pictures mean a lot. Um they also kind of sell a lot, I think. There's a lot of signatures and I just I really don't want you to wreck anything.
Bee: And then gracefully they're gonna spin on one heal to face the robber.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): And you! What do you think you're doing here? This is not the right time to be robbing. You should have waited at noon o'clock when there was more people.
Nick: And the bandit, the tip of his gun starts to drift down. And you can tell that his mouth is hanging slightly open even through the kerchief he has over his face. And he locks eyes with you, Professor Jupiter, and the bandit is staring at this.
Nick (as robber): Mo’nae? What in the flaming hells are you doing here?
Nick: And pulls down the kerchief. And you can see a chiseled jaw and a scar and this is a man that you have worked with in the past. I wouldn't say he's a peer of yours, but you have a passing relationship.
Nick (as robber): Look, you [frustrated sigh] the fact that you're here is a problem. I can't necessarily shoot you, but I will. Whatever you're carrying, Mo’nae, hand it over. You can blame somebody else. We can all get out of this in one piece.
Nick: And the bandit has dropped the bag on the ground and pulled his other revolver back out and is pointing them both at what you all know to be Professor Jupiter calling them by a different name. And looks a little shaken and confused.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Um, you want me to - [clears throat] I might as well just talk in my regular voice. I'm sorry. You want me to? I have knitting needles on me, like not just knitting needles, but like knitting needles where I'm making money. I can't just give them over. How am I gonna crash the market? How am I gonna make money? [stuttering] This is unreasonable.
Nick (as robber): You brought needles onto the Rondaxe line? You crazy smuggler. That - How were you going to get past the security checkpoint? That doesn't make any sense.
Nick: And the guns have both drifted to the ground. They've been up and down so many times. And you can see that this guy is scratching his temple with one of the barrels of the guns and pushing his hat back on his head a little bit and is completely ignoring the rest of y'all.
Sydney: What is the rest of the room doing at this time while he's sitting here just talking?
Nick: So while he's having this conversation, because he's still armed, the rest of the room is just in a shocked silence. Most of them are afraid to make eye contact. They're all staying very still. The orphans that were in the room providing crowd noise have all just vanished. They saw that there was danger and did the thing that they do best which is get the heck out of there. But the room is pretty quiet and still except for this exchange.
Sydney: Cassidy is watching but doesn't want to make the first move because this guy has guns pointed at them. But there's also a little bit of hesitation on if this doesn't have to be someone that she has to kill she doesn't really want to.
Cameron: Emma is just very closely watching Professor Jupiter's face and seeing what the general vibe is to see when the transition potentially happens of, eh nah this whole talking and convincing them not to do this isn't gonna work.
Sydney: Yeah, Cassidy has not taken her eyes off the robber.
Nick: Bee you want to roll me a Charm check to see if you can make this guy stop seeing you as a threat?
Bee: Oh yes.
Nick: So that Charm check is going to be at hard difficulty with two black die because of your reputation.
Cameron: But also with two blue die because you're a smooth talker and you get boost die on all roles involving social checks.
Bee: So two yellow, one green, two blue, two black.
Cameron: And three purple.
Bee: One success and two advantages.
Nick: Nice. So the way that this conversation goes and we'll play it out, but he is not going to attack you. He is not going to try to rob you specifically. He is still going to probably try to take money from it least Cassidy and Emma, if not Modem. But you are fine in this situation because he doesn't want to mess with you. Especially if you're crazy enough to try to bring needles in. So he points the guns away from you and towards the rest of your table and is keeping an eye on the car. He's obviously a practiced hand at this because he is able to keep pretty much everyone under observation pretty consistently. And he says,
Nick (as robber): All right, well, I don't want to get into the counterfeit game. That's not why we're here. We'll have plenty of real money on our own. Mo’nae you can just go. I didn't see you. You'll want to hold on to something for the next 45 minutes, probably. Make sure you're nice and secure. But uhh, we gotta stick together. So just tell your boss that we cut you a deal and to remember that as a favor and you have a nice day.
Nick: And he winks.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Yeah, um t-th-thank you. Just give me a second. I just I dropped um, when I was under the table I just kind of dropped something.
Bee: And they'll kind of stumble back over to the table near Cassidy and they are going to try and slide you their gun.
Nick: Yeah so that's gonna be Skullduggery to palm a weapon to somebody. It's a big honkin gun. So this is going to be average with two black die.
Bee: One yellow, two green, two purple, two black, one blue. All right. One advantage, two failures.
Nick: Okay! So this guy, like I said, he is looking throughout the room and you reach into your tweed jacket and Mo’nae, you lock eyes with this bandit with your hand wrapped around the barrel of your pistol and the butt of the pistol stuck into Cassidy's ribs, and Cassidy's hand wraps instinctively around the grip of this pistol, which is a big revolver and all of you lock eyes. We get the zoomed in western shot of this bandit and then Mo’nae's eyes looking back and forth and Cassidy's eyes looking back and forth and Emma's eyes frantically flicking back and forth. And Modem's eyes just kind of staring into space looking uninterested in all this. And I'm going to need you all to roll initiative.
Sydney: One success, two advantages.
Cameron: Three successes.
Bee: One success, three advantages.
Nick: And Cameron, can you roll me two yellows and a green, please?
Cameron: This one is two successes and two advantages.
Cameron: What's Modem's?
Nick: His Vigilance is two greens.
Cameron: Three successes.
Nick: So it's gonna be two players get to go and then the bad guy gets to go and then another player gets to go and also Modem is in there somewhere. So first up is a PC slot. You all have locked eyes. We have a standoff here. His guns are drawn and pointed. Cassidy is holding a gun. Emma's holding a teacup. Mo’nae is holding a gun, but the wrong end of the gun.
Sydney: Yeah, Cassidy has a gun and a knife and a napkin in her lap.
Cameron: As soon as the robber starts making intense eye contact with Professor Jupiter and Cassidy, Emma takes her still very full teacup and is going to fling the super hot tea into the guy's face.
Nick: Okay, so make me a Ranged attack at close range.
Cameron: Okay, and I am aiming for his face.
Nick: Okay, so you'll be aiming the tea. It'll be one purple because you're close range.
Cameron: One success and a triumph.
Nick: So you crit with the tea.
Cameron: It is so hot.
Nick: Would you like to roll on the crit table? Or would you like to give him three black die on his first two attacks because there's hot tea in his face?
Cameron: I kind of want to cause him a permanent injury with a crit.
Nick: Okay, so make a roll on the crit chart and let's see what you do to this guy with your tea.
Cameron: A 58, which is Agonizing Wound: increases the difficulty of all Brawn and Agility checks by one until this critical injury is healed.
Nick: Wow. So what is this Agonizing Wound look like as you throw scalding tea into his face?
Cameron: His face just got hit with scalding tea. That's what his agonizing injury looks like.
Nick: Yeah, so he's got burns around his eyes. He screams as steam flies up around him. I think we get a shot of the tea splattering against a pennant on the wall behind him leaving an outline of his head where the tea went and he's not happy as he takes, we'll say hot tea is plus one damage, so he takes two damage and a Agonizing Wound and there's another PC slot.
Sydney: This is not what Cassidy is good at. I think Cassidy is gonna try to get him to stand down because Cassidy is having the internal struggle of like, he hasn't shot first. So are the guns really a threat of lethality or are they just props? Like she doesn't feel like she has enough info to make a full decision, so she doesn't just want to shoot this guy with Jupiter's gun. So I think what happens is, Cassidy is going to take the big revolver that Jupiter gave her and point it at this dude and just go,
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't think you're going to be robbing anyone else today.
Nick: Roll me a Coersion.
Sydney: Do you have a difficulty?
Nick: We'll say average but you can have a blue die because you have a big gun and his face is on fire.
Sydney: Four advantages.
Nick: Okay, so he doesn't back down but he also doesn't draw on you either, yet. His guns are not pointed at anyone, they're up against his face where he's been burned. You can see his eyes through gaps in his fingers as he's holding at his burned face. And he says,
Nick (as robber): It's not just me on this train - there's a whole gang here. You don't want to do this. The best thing to do is turn over the valuables. They're not worth your life.
Nick: And he looks back at you.
Nick (as robber): If you just give us the valuables this can all be over. Give us the gun and that's it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, unfortunately you implied that the train was going to have some issues and I can't let that happen.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Oh yeah, we're probably all gonna crash. It's gonna be terrible. I don't know if that wasn't clear. We are all going to die.
Bee: And then they duck a little bit further under the table.
Sydney (as Cassidy): So your choices here are to not die now and walk away, or die now.
Sydney: And this gun that Cassidy's pointing is very slightly not steady but it's not leaving him.
Nick: And so he'll start to back away, still with his hands at his face and then he's going to drop the guns to try and shoot at you before you can shoot at him and he's going to shoot with an upgraded difficulty with an additional purple. He's gonna have three black die because of all the advantages and because Cassidy's already got to bead drawn on him.
Sydney: Cool. I'm going to suffer one strain to add another difficulty on to this with my Sidestep talent.
Nick: Nice. Very good. He rolls a yellow and two green to shoot.
Cameron: A failure and a threat.
Nick: So he pulls the trigger with both pistols. One of them you feel the wind part your hair, Cassidy, as it goes past your head and bears itself somewhere else in the wall behind you. And the other gun jams. It clicks empty immediately. You're not sure what happens there but it -
Cameron: It got tea on it.
Sydney: Yeah, it wet the primer.
Nick: So it can't shoot and so he tosses that gun away but he missed.
Sydney: Yeah, at the point where he's pulling the trigger. Cassidy just does a quick step to the right in a way that is just perfectly timed enough to not get hit. Because she's keeping her gun on him. But she's not wearing any of her armor or anything, like this is 70% bravado, but she's also been shot before so...
Nick: With the sound of the gunshot everyone in the car screams and starts to run out of the train car. It various directions so now there's just pandemonium everywhere. And we're to another PC slot.
Bee: This robber, the guns are misfiring, people are screaming and running all around, how is he looking?
Nick: So he looks a little unsteady on his feet. He's squinting through bloodshot eyes where his face has been burned. He's tossed one of the guns away. He's cocking the hammer on the revolver that is trying to track towards Cassidy. He's probably four steps from the table because he stumbled back a little bit. People are running away from y'all in all directions. Emma's sitting at the table, Cassidy has stepped sideways away from the table. You are half under the table.
Cameron: Emma is re-pouring her cup of tea. [laugh]
Nick: Modem hasn't moved. He has a biscuit in one hand.
Bee: So from a hunched defensive position. Mo’nae is going to straighten up their back and throw a hand out.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): I-um [clears throat] Halt! I didn't want it to come to this, but I think I could get you fired.
Nick: There's this long disbelieving pause. [laugh]
Sydney: Cassidy, still watching the guy, raises an eyebrow and a little bit of a 'what?' facial expression.
Nick: The pistol stops halfway between Mo’nae and Cassidy, coincidentally aimed back at Modem. He pauses for a second, his head cocked, he says,
Nick (as robber): What?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Look, look, look, hear me out. Your robbery has been poorly executed. You don't have enough people power. The bags that you're using to collect all of these valuables is incredibly flimsy. Your equipment is disappointing. You don't even have proper colors on like, what is this plaid green and yellow? Mm-nm. Mm-nm. That is an amateur move. You're talking to the people like you know them. Have you ever even robbed a train before? You know if I tell your boss he is going to fire you if he doesn't kill you first.
Nick: His brow wrinkles in confusion and then he flinches because his skin is burned and that hurts. And it straightens back out. And he starts to stutter, as you say that he's talking to people like he knows them, because he does know you. And then there's a long pause and I need you to roll me either roll me a Deception or a Charm check at hard difficulty.
Bee: Lets go Deception. One success, three advantages.
Nick: So he holsters to his pistol. He picks up the bag and he shakes his head. His skin is starting to blister. He pulls the handkerchief backup over his nose and he says,
Nick (as robber): Listen, Mo’nae, this isn't worth it. I'm not getting shot for this job and the train's going to be handled momentarily anyway. You all do what you want. But when you said there wasn't enough manpower, you underestimated.
Nick: And he turns to go.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Okay!
Bee: Does he take the bag with him?
Nick: Yeah, he's carrying the bag.
Bee: They're gonna turn to Cassidy.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Can you shoot that bag? There's something in there that was really cute and I kind of wanted it.
Sydney: Cassidy just scowls. She still hasn't moved her gun off the thing but like this guy just put his gun away and was walking away and now they want him to shoot?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Just the- Can you get the bag? I just, there's some really nice slippers in there that are yellow and gold. It's fine. It's fine, he's walked away.
Sydney: Cassidy slips the knife out and hands it to Jupiter.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Uh ummm. I only use knives to butter toast.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Then I don't think you're going to get anything out of that bag.
Bee: They look behind them longingly as the robber just leaves this train cart.
Nick: We get the shot of Cassidy and Professor Jupiter looking at each other with Professor Jupiter holding the knife and then you hear the shweesh as the door opens and closes and the bandit leaves the train car.
Sydney: Yeah the first thing Cassidy does is goes to find the gun that he threw down.
Nick: Yeah, it's sitting on the ground. It looked very intimidating, but upon closer inspection, it's rusted and poorly maintained. It looks like it has two bullets in it and one of them was clearly a dud and the other one is soaked in tea. You might be able to make it shoot.
Sydney: Cassidy brings it back and gives Emma the quick.
Sydney (as Cassidy): This probably won't work, but it might work. We need to do something if they're gonna blow up the train.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Yeah, everybody on this train might die. So... I'm really valuable. I would like to live. Can I like pay you to keep me alive? I feel like somebody else is doing that.
Bee: And they're going to point over at Modem.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Are you also paying these people to be kept alive? Are they any good at it?
Nick (as Modem): We did have that argument earlier. They have proved adept so far at keeping me alive. I would say our chances are higher as a group.
Nick: He's stood up in primly adjusted his robes at this point and looks around and says
Nick (as Modem): So now what?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Jupiter, how long did these people take to rob a train? What's the, how much time do we have?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Oh not a lot of time. We wasted a lot of time just chatting with teapot over there, well teapots gone now but
Sydney (as Cassidy): So are they going to blow the cars? Are they going to stop the eng- like what's
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): I
Sydney (as Cassidy): Where do we need to go to stop this?
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): don't actually recognize the handkerchief colors. I was kind of just bluffing when I called it a faux pas. It could be like a new gang that started... So what I'm trying to say is we should probably just move through the carts and see what kind of chaos there is.
Cameron (as Emma): All right.
Cameron: Emma sticks the pistol into the waistband of her jacket and then takes a baseball bat down off of the wall.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Oh! Oh! That one is really valuable...
Cameron: [laughing] It is definitely signed.
Sydney: Cassidy cracks open Jupiter's revolver and checks to see the shell count and the general status of it, not having looked at it very closely.
Nick: These are Magnum bullets, high powder count, heavy caliber and the revolvers full. It's got six shots in it. This is a nice piece.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Oh yeah, uh, Cassidy that that there gun, my boss gave that to me. I don't know why she thinks I'm ever gonna use it. Last time I shot a gun I... Well, I shot myself in the foot.
Nick: We get a quick cutaway to Mo’nae at a indoor firing range holding a small target shot and then they sight down, pull the trigger, there's several ricochet noises. The instructor who's wearing a helmet dives under the counter out of the way and then Mo’nae grabs their foot and cusses and falls to the ground and we cut back.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Yeah...um.
Sydney: Yeah, I think with that Cassidy basically in her head just dismisses Jupiter as a potential combat ally and looks at Emma and goes,
Sydney (as Cassidy): I've got bullets. Let's go stop a train robbery.
Nick: Where are you headed? Are you heading towards the front of the train?
Sydney: Yeah I think we're gonna go for the front because if we're in that immediate danger of the train getting shut down, like we're stranded out in the middle of nowhere and even if we do have all of our gear, but we still have to fight all the bandits anyway, and this way we're not facing them all at once circled up around our fortress car. We're taking them out car to car.
Nick: And as you say, let's go stop a train robbery. The lights cut out. You're the only ones in the car, but a voice comes over the PA that says
Nick (as Train PA): Emergency transportation lockdown engaged.
Nick: And as you go to the front door and try it to go follow the way the bandit left, the doors locked. It feels extremely secure. But you do see that there are several skylights now that the lights are off. You might be able to get up on the roof of the train.
Sydney: Seeing this Cassidy looks at Emma and goes,
Sydney (as Cassidy): How fast can you get that open?
Cameron (as Emma): Which one? The door the skylight?
Sydney: The door.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh.
Cameron: Emma had been looking up. [laugh]
Sydney: We can break the skylight. But there's not a lot of cover on the roof of a train.
Cameron (as Emma): Um, I mean...
Cameron: Emma pulls out a very small set of tools. It's like you had a multi tool and then broke it apart into all of its component tools.
Nick: It's like a toolkit you would get from a gift bag.
Cameron: Picture the small manicure kit, but it's a multi tool. So none of these are large enough to interact with anything in this door [laughing] because she's wearing a dress. She could fix your glasses if one of the legs fell off.
Nick: Well go ahead and roll me a Mechanics check at average difficulty with a black die because you don't have your normal tools.
Cameron: All right, since I have a knack for Mechanics, I can remove two black die from any of my Mechanics check.
Cameron: Two successes and a threat.
Nick: Awesome. So your tools aren't big enough to take the door apart, but you are able to get into the lock mechanism pretty easily. There's some wiring, it's obviously electronic but it also has a lot of mechanical parts to it too.
Cameron: Emma takes the tools out as she's telling Cassidy,
Cameron (as Emma): I mean, I don't know if - I don't think I'm properly prepared for this but I can give it a shot?
Cameron: And then kneels down next to the doors so that she's eye level with the lock and sticks, basically a lockpick, it's a long thin piece of metal tool, into it and is moving it around, not looking very sure. And then suddenly just goes
Cameron (as Emma): Oh.
Cameron: Clicks it, doesn't even insert another tool, just has the one tool in there it goes clicks it and then the door slides open.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Wow. That - Do you know how impossibly hard those doors are? That was... Wow.
Cameron: She slides the tool back in and puts it back in her pocket.
Cameron (as Emma): Umm.
Sydney: Cassidy just gives her a grab on the shoulder for like good and then is immediately clearing the room with her new found big shiny revolver.
Nick: So Emma from the back of the group you see Modem giving an encouraging nod to you as you pop the door open. I'll say with the two successes, you figured out how to get into these doors, the locked doors aren't a problem anymore. You can just pop them open as you go. There is a surprisingly long walkway between the cars. The wind is very light, it's more of a gentle breeze, the way the cars are shaped, even though you're moving very, very quickly, you don't get buffeted by the wind or anything. Looking up and almost being able to see the air being pushed around this train in the slipstream, you realize that going on top of the train would have been very difficult and dangerous. But while you all are walking to the next car, you can see that the environment the train is going through has changed since you were having tea.
The forests and sweeping hills have become more flat, things are more swampy, trees are more spread out. And in the distance you see these two silver glints as you see something approaching the train at an oblique angle very, very quickly. And as it gets close, you see two people wearing large goggles who are holding on to what might be a motorcycle, but really just looks like a jet rocket strapped to a skid. And so these things are able to go faster than the train and there's two of them. And up ahead further in the train you hear a loud Clank as these jets make contact with the train. And as Emma is starting to open the door into next train car, Cassidy and Professor Jupiter you see these two jet engines go tumbling past. And it looks like they have run out of fuel and were abandoned and more bandits are now on the train. And the door slides open into a train car you haven't been in yet. And what does this train car look like?
Bee: When you step in the first thing is the smell of metal. And that is almost the color palette, the bronze, the copper, the silvers, the iron and the entire room feels alive, but not a single organic thing, other than human beings, are existent here. It's all gears and cogs and screws and beams of metal, the entire room is the inside of a clock. So there is that methodical ticking sound that is overhead. But all in all the entire room you are on different cogs and we've got chairs, we've got tables, the lights overhead move the different pieces of the car, again, everything is in motion. And this is probably a spot that is used for a social mixer. So trying to have conversations is incredible, but that ticking sound might get to you and it usually forces you to either make friends or leave as soon as possible.
Nick: Cassidy and you said that you led first clearing the room with the revolver. So the first thing that you see, as you all look into this changing room, the lights are very Noir. There's lots of light and shadow being shifted around the room as the lights turn. You see some train riders who have clustered in the corners trying to assume cover and there are two bandits wearing the same yellow with green plaid kerchiefs over their face. One's wearing a bowler cap, one has hair swept back away from his head and one of them is holding a hatchet and the other one is holding a pistol and I need you to roll me a Coordination check to see if you can get off a shot before they try to shoot you.
Sydney: What is the difficulty?
Nick: We're gonna go average. They were not expecting the door to pop open that easily. You also don't have to shoot them, this is just do you get to go first before we do anything.
Sydney: Cassidy is quite coordinated. I am rolling a yellow, three greens against the two purples.
Nick: Great. Flip me a Story Point to upgrade one of those purples to a red, please.
Sydney: Well this is your only one, so.
Sydney: Two successes and two advantages.
Nick: Great so you can have blue die on this check. You have the drop on them. Like I said they were not expecting the door to pop open like this. You have a beautiful revolver fully loaded. You have your friends behind you, there are civilians in the corners.
Sydney: What are these bandits doing? Just like standing?
Nick: They're clearly guarding the far door.
Sydney: Ohh. Having seen that the previous guy was willing to shoot and knowing that they're going to crash or disable the train and that Cassidy's has been shot up and it is now shooting time. It's not good, but that's why Cassidy's doing the room clearing stuff. Fortunately, all the bandits are marked with their scarves. So it's easy to see who the targets are besides that they're looking menacing and wielding weapons. I think at this point it has been proven that these guys are up to nefarious bad things and if they're willing to shoot then that means Cassidy's willing to shoot. So Cassidy's gonna shoot the one with the gun.
Nick: Okay. You are a medium range across this train car. You get two blue die because of your advantages, but you do have a black die because of the shifting light and everything, it does make judging your aim rather difficult.
Sydney: Okay, so my end pool then is two yellows, two greens, two purples, two blues and a black.
Sydney: One success, three advantages and a triumph.
Nick: Okay, uh you kill this guy.
Sydney: Okay, so Cassidy sticks her head around the corner, watching the angles. Slowly clearing the angles, as she comes around and sees the two guys at the end, and they're not, they're guarding, but they're not actively watching, especially in the weird lighting in this room with everything spinning. And Cassidy basically just aims center of mass on the guy with the gun because he's a bigger threat, and pulls the trigger and is surprised. She doesn't use handguns that often, typically her weapon is a rifle. And this pistol is - it's not the biggest pistol she's ever shot because she had used Wyatt's shotgun pistol, so it's not that ridiculous, but it is more than she was maybe expecting. And she was shooting for center mass because this wasn't her weapon. It wasn't one that she was going to do something fancy. And the bullet streaks across the room and hits this guy and just explodes out the back of them because it's a big bullet.
Nick: Yeah, it punches a hole in the door that he was standing in front of and you could see lights and shadow through it. There's movement beyond the door. And for that triumph, I think the other guy is stunned by this sudden onslaught of violence and we're not going to roll initiative if somebody else wants to do something.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): I mean, I would like to negotiate.
Nick: Yeah, I think you are in a strong negotiating position.
Bee: They pop up, stride in confidently, wiggle their bow tie, make sure that it center on their chest, and then waggle their eyebrows at this stunned guard.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): So uh, I know you know me and I don't really know you and I don't think I want to know you. Because if you want to live, I can offer you your life. All you have to do is get the hell away.
Nick: Make me an easy Negotiation check. So one purple, and you can have a blue die cause he just saw his friend get ventilated.
Cameron: And then you can have two more blue die because this is a social check.
Bee: Five successes and three advantages.
Nick: He pulls his handkerchief off, and you see that he's a pretty young looking person. He drops the axe and kicks it towards you, puts his hands in the air very quickly, steps away from the body of his companion and says,
Nick (as young bandit): Hey, yeah uh, whatever you want. Uh whatever I can do, I did - this wasn't my plan anyway. They made me come. I actually, I'm new. I normally just walk the beat in Eagle Hill. They showed me those cool rocket sleds and I wanted to try one and now I'm here, and I'm talking too much. Uh but yeah, whatever you need.
Nick: And he's gesturing excitedly but keeping his hands above his head as he obviously panics.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Well um, the first thing you can tell us is, how are y'all planning on taking down this train? What what's going on? What is your plan of action?
Nick (as young bandit): Oh, uh yeah sure. Of course, uh that they may hurt me if they find out. But you're not going to tell him I told you anything.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Oh goodness no.
Nick (as young bandit): No, you seem like great, like a really cool person. That's you!
Nick: And he does finger guns then realizes he's doing finger guns towards someone with a gun and puts his hands up real quick.
Nick (as young bandit): Yeah, so they have some sort of bomb. They strapped it to the generator for the mag lift at the front of the train. It's just a couple cars ahead. Most of the guys are up there. They're going to set it off from the car back. The train is gonna crash they're all going to strap in so that they don't get hurt. And then we're gonna just pick up the pieces. That's why they brought me. I'm supposed to pick up the detritus and then we go back to town and nobody knows because they'll think it's just some bad accident. So yeah, there's the bomb. And I'm still talking aren't I? Uh umm
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): That was good. No, yeah, um here.
Bee: And Mo’nae is gonna pat down their tweed suit. Reach inside one of the breast pockets and pull out a crisply knitted Stitch of a rather high denomination and pass it to the kid.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): You take this.
Bee: And Mo’nae leans in close. And I feel like this kid's probably shaking in their boots.
Nick: Mhmm. You can hear their belt buckle rattling.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Look, take this. I knitted it myself. I knitted it this morning and if you're ever looking for some real employment come join the Crochet Club.
Nick: He sees the gold Stitch and you've tucked it in his pocket?
Nick: And sees, that’s a lot of money and his eyes widen and he says,
Nick (as young bandit): Holy shit!
Nick: Under his breath.
Nick (as young bandit): Yeah you're with the Crochet Club - I've heard of you. Yeah uh consider this my formal application, I guess. Uh I'm going to go towards the back of the train.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Cool. What's your name kid? Or can I just call you... Belt Buckle?
Nick (as young bandit): I'd rather not have my na-
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): All right Belt Buckle it is!
Nick (as young bandit): Okay, I'm Belt Buckle.
Bee (as Professor Jupiter): Welcome to the Crochet Club.
Nick (as young bandit): Great thanks. Uh...
Sydney: Cassidy during this is grabbing the weapon off the downed guy again and checking this one out to see how it's doing.
Nick: Three bullets. All rusty. You probably have a 50/50 shot of it working.
Sydney: Did Emma hold on to her gun or did she just trade it for the bat?
Cameron: It's in my waistband.
Sydney: Yeah, so I think while this is going on Cassidy does that, does a quick check for any other bullets or anything not looking for valuables but weapons because this is a field scavenger moment. And then gives Emma the next gun and goes
Sydney (as Cassidy): Better than the last one. Not great.
Cameron (as Emma): All right.
Cameron: Emma switches the last one over to her right side and then puts the new one on her left side so she can draw it with her right arm, picks her bat back up.
Nick: So this kid, Belt Buckle, starts easing his way around you all keeping his hands clearly visible and then runs towards the back of the train. Emma, you're able to pop open the next door. It's a luggage car. The rails are all polished brass, but it's mostly suitcases and things and you don't see any guards.
Sydney: Cassidy wipes her hands trying to get most of the fresh blood off. Mostly succeeds before clearing this next car the same way.
Nick: And you don't see anybody that could be a threat or anything. It's weirdly quiet but you can see that from the hole in the door, the gentle swaying of the car was causing the skylights to look like movement. And you can hear voices from the next car and it sounds like aggressive voices arguing about something. It looks like you’ve come to the front of the train.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Aly (as Zee-o): End of episode. Commencing end credits. The following information will be placed in the show notes for your added convenience.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Bee Zelda as Professor Jupiter. Bee, your non binary busy bee, can be found on twitter @bee_zelda. They are a podcaster, a member of the Broadswords, the host of Anime Attache, and a player on the Power Play podcast. They are a twitch streamer, they have co-produced their own show on Roll20 called Indie Showcase, they host Tabletop Otaku for Origins Game fair, and they are the community manager for D&D Adventurers League.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support @ Patreon.com/TabletopSquadron
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com.
Until next time…
[hurdy gurdy fades]