The Patina discusses integrity and the Sasnak political landscape continues to change.
The Patina discusses integrity and the Sasnak political landscape continues to change.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- Breezy city amb.wav by patchen. Link & License.
- The Circles I Went Round In by Doctor Turtle. Link & License.
- Over the Water, Humans Gather by Doctor Turtle. Link & License.
- Big Water by Sergey Cheremisinov. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
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A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 31: Honest Racing
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
Today’s episode comes with a metaphorical pair of sunglasses in the cereal box, because only the coolest people like you listen to the show, and that deserves the coolest accessory. But wait, act now and send in the box top, and you can get a second pair of metaphorical sunglasses, totally free!
And that’s not all! If you choose to back our Patreon, you will gain access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards. There might even be a third pair of metaphorical sunglasses waiting for you.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 31: Honest Racing. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Penn (as Marathon): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, Miss Cassidy and I finally had our DTR, defining the relationship, and well, we didn’t hammer out a lot of specifics, I know now that we’re looking to be exclusive and we’re really enthusiastic about this and there might be no limit on where this goes, so uh, I’m just, I’m kinda glowy and I’m excited to keep getting to know this smart, awesome girl. Meanwhile Birdie and Emma collected payment from councilman Wander for delivering the circuit key from the Guts. We made a lot of moolah, lot of triangles as they call it here, but he also offered kind of a sticky situation for us.
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: We open on the Patina - Cassidy, Birdie, Marathon, and Emma - seated around the main table in the shipping container they're staying in on Sasnak Traveling, having just revealed Wander's request that they intentionally lose the next X Bike race in exchange for a favor and being guaranteed to make the final.
Kit (as Birdie): So if we throw the match, we get guaranteed to be in the final. But if we don't throw the match, then we still we have to win, essentially. If we say no to Wander's agreement, then we have to win no matter what.
Penn (as Marathon): Can't we just not give an answer and then -?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, just tell Wander we're gonna throw it, and then if we lose, we get in, and if we win, we get in.
Kit (as Birdie): [sigh] Because
Cameron (as Emma): Well, but it's more than this one race to get in to the championship though.
Kit (as Birdie): We're still having to wait - to hope that Opal can get us in. It's not certain that Opal can get us in right now.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You don't think losing in the match and then suddenly showing up in the finals is gonna be suspicious to everyone?
Kit (as Birdie): Happens all the time, really. [mumbles in Sasnak local]
Cameron (as Emma): I mean, and you just have to not lose any other races.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, we've only done one race so far.
Kit (as Birdie): People get up through the race-
Sydney (as Cassidy): [interrupting] I mean I guess, I assume - I guess these councilors are just like throwing stacks of triangles around going, you know, what are ethics anyway? Put my people in the race.
Kit (as Birdie): Pretty much. It's how it's always been. So the people that get up there without any help from the councilors are really the best of the best. But as much as I love a good merit based competition, if we want to have our best chance at neither of us getting injured - because the more matches we, the more races we do, the higher the chances are that we're going to get injured - and if we throw this one and can guarantee a spot in the final, it means that we don't have to, we don't have to race as much. That's all I'm saying.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, how are you going to throw it that doesn't lead to us getting injured? Every time that I've seen people lose, they explode. Or crash.
Kit (as Birdie): Just slow and steady. I guess it's you can't normally win on slow and steady, but it's the it's the safest way to do it for X Biking, yeah, it means that you'll make it through the race, but
Sydney (as Cassidy): What's to stop the other people from everyone else screws up, and they all explode, and we still end up winning, because we're the only ones who make it? Like there's a lot of you - we can't -
Sydney: Cassidy clasps her hands together in front of her and puts them on the table.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh we can't control enough variables to guarantee that we can lose the race.
Cameron (as Emma): Hush. What are the official rules for if no one finishes a race?
Kit (as Birdie): There's a rematch.
Cameron (as Emma): Are there just no winners? Okay, so if they'd have everybody try again?
Kit (as Birdie): Because usually these racers aren't the only ones on their team of racers. They they have backups, typically.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay.
Kit (as Birdie): And so I figure that they normally either do a rematch or it's given to the person that made it the furthest if there are no, if there aren't a majority of backups from the teams that lost to do a race, it's something like, they like there has to be 70% of the racers have to have a backup in order to do a rematch, or something like that. I don't remember exactly but,
Cameron (as Emma): Okay, so if everyone else were to go out in a blaze of glory, you just have to not win.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Oh, my bike fell over.
Kit (as Birdie): Well,
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah. Oh shit, I pressed the brake.
Kit (as Birdie): Here's also the thing, if we look - in this line of thinking, it's very rare that there's only ever you know if you if we win, we win, because if that's just how the cookie crumbles, even if we attempted to throw the race. I don't think that Wander would necessarily see that as a betrayal to us. It's just kind of how fate works. It's like these there aren't enough variables for us to control if we somehow end up winning, even if we try to throw the race, because it was about intention.
Cameron (as Emma): I would agree that that does seem like his vibe of chaos.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, he's pretty trusting, which kind of makes me uncomfortable.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean what is he trying to accomplish with having us throw the race just like for shits and giggles?
Cameron (as Emma): He didn't mention that.
Kit (as Birdie): Pretty much.
Penn (as Marathon): Probably to fuck up Opal, right? Because I was thinking, like, what are we going to do about Opal if we lose?
Kit (as Birdie): So she'll have to understand that we lost, because there's no way to control all the variables to win.
Cameron (as Emma): I and he said that if, even if we lost, he'd still guarantee us be in the finals, which means Opal's team is still in the finals.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Or is he is the next part of the thing 'oh, by the way, I'm only putting you in the finals under Wander's name. Thanks for publicly joining with Wander. Shucks Opal'?
Penn (as Marathon): But what if this is all just a scheme to get us to lose? Like is Wander gonna honor this agreement?
Kit (as Birdie): In a horrible turn of events unfortunately, I do trust him to some degree that he won't go back on his word. He's not done it yet. He has had plenty of time to do it so far.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, how much opportunity have we given him to go back on his word? All we've done is like one thing, and then he threatened you and your family and friends.
Penn (as Marathon): Is that what this is about?
Cameron (as Emma): He did offer to put this one in writing.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm. We have this one in writing, and I still haven't said yes. So we can ask him, we can put it in writing that if he were to go back on his word or reveal something that is detrimental to our group or our public opinion, then we get we reserve the right to do X, Y and Z. He was willing to tell me about just about everything, except for why he wants us to join the race, but he's very - there's no great way to say this, but he's unpredictable, like that.
Sydney (as Cassidy): But then why - why pick him over Opal?
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Opal is predictable.
Penn (as Marathon): I don't understand why you're so Wander plus.
Kit (as Birdie): Because we're guaranteed away into the final even if we lose. With Wander, we don't have to risk our necks as much.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Being on the track at all is risking our necks.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You think intentionally trying to screw up is going to be less dangerous?
Kit (as Birdie): By throwing the match, it just means that you weren't the first one over the finish line. You can still complete the race just as much as anyone else could. The important thing is that we are not first place.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, if it's the safest option,
Penn: Marathon's got her hand on her sinuses, deep in frustrated thought.
Kit (as Birdie): It's - I know that we're trying to bounce back from everything that happened in the Guts, but if we go with Wander's option, we actually get to control more than we would with Opal.
Sydney (as Cassidy): By putting everything in the hands of this agent of chaos who threatens your family like it's nothing?
Kit (as Birdie): Who is more trustworthy in some ways.
Cameron (as Emma): So yeah, having having been there for all of the conversations with him, besides the follow up that Birdie had after the first meeting, I didn't get the vibe that he was legitimately threatening the Foundlings. I don't think he's capable of not being creepy when he talks.
Penn (as Marathon): Hmm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, that's also a thing.
Cameron (as Emma): So it seemed more just like he was dropping information to make us aware of the fact that, like, he had a big network and, like, knew what was going on. It didn't - and I mean, Birdie is the person that you can find the most info on, because you're from here, so you have people here, um, but like, I guarantee Cassidy, he knows about you and Gwen working together previously. He probably knows about Marathon's sports career.
Penn (as Marathon): Eugh.
Cameron (as Emma): He knew my name. I never introduced myself. We know he saw me duel, so it - I think it seemed more like he was dropping nuggets of information to show how well informed and connected he was.
Penn (as Marathon): Flexing, if you will.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, but I think he's he is so uncomfortable, like,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Then, what's the point? Why why not just do Opal then, if he's weird? At least Opal like is straightforward. I dunno.
Kit (as Birdie): He's not -
Sydney (as Cassidy): They've shootied at each other.
Cameron (as Emma): I mean, she's weird too.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Everyone's weird in this fucking city.
Kit (as Birdie): He's not weird in a malicious way.
Penn (as Marathon): Then you have to race more dangerously.
Kit (as Birdie): He's not weird in a malicious way.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [much disbelief] Really?
Cameron (as Emma): To us currently.
Penn (as Marathon): I find that hard to believe. But if Birdie, if you, you seem pretty adamant about this. And Emma, if you're on board, I I'm on board because it sounds safer, even if it draws us a little further into Sasnak's machinations. But I will, I will steal myself for intrigue if that happens.
Kit (as Birdie): And he'll owe us a favor. That's part of it, is if we do this, not only will he guarantee in writing a spot in the final and we can make sure in the contract that there is no funny business or whatever about him trying to say that we're racing under him all of a sudden or making us look bad in front of Opal.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, we're gonna look bad in front of Opal cause we're losing the race regardless.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, I - that that's just making her job harder, because she's going to jump us up a little bit. But,
Sydney (as Cassidy): So, I mean, what we're here for is to get the trophy. So,
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, even, even if Wander does say, 'ope, you're, you're my racers, now you're going into the final.' Okay, we're still in the final. Who who cares which councilors it's for? We're - as long as we win the final, we accomplish what we want, which is to get a hold of the trophy.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, we still have another mission to do for Opal, and if, for, if she's going to respond to, 'oh, you are now a Wander racer. Congrats. Your mission is to kill Wander. That's the only thing I'm going to offer you, if any- anything else is a breach of contract. If you don't accept this, you get thrown out'.
Cameron (as Emma): Well, but like it's not -
Kit (as Birdie): That's why we have the right to refuse jobs.
Sydney (as Cassidy): And she'll just only offer that one every day, until, you know we do it or we leave.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, so I understand that neither of them are great. Neither council member is great and Wander is sure whatever threatening something over my family, it's just how people are here. It's just how the council members are here. But
Sydney (as Cassidy): What a nice city.
Kit (as Birdie): The the issue, I think, beyond the terms of being able to race less, is we're gonna look pretty shitty if we take Wander's deal.
Penn (as Marathon): Like pretty shitty in what way?
Kit (as Birdie): Well, so Marathon,
Sydney (as Cassidy): We lost races and suddenly were placed highly anyway.
Kit (as Birdie): So it's gonna look shitty kind of no matter what. But one of them is significantly shittier than the other, because Zan told me about how it works, because when they were on the up and up, they saw it happening, and they had friends who were taking deals like, what, where we might take with Wander of councilors doing cherry picking of the rules to boost their team further by getting them more points for how they raced, even if they lost, or if they did an exhibition show for a bunch of rich and powerful people they'd get a bunch of points, and even if it's not an actual extreme race, like you know the name implies. Whereas when Opal is trying to get us a spot in the finals, she's just trying to get us more opportunities to get more points in the more traditional sense of we race, and we'll just have more opportunities to win our qualifying spot, and then she'll call in favors or whatever to do the last part. But whereas Wander will be probably calling people out, saying, 'oh, well, this person has this on their bike', or 'in this rule that was made 20 years ago, before these things really even existed, before certain enhancements really even existed,' that it's just knocking people out who would be eligible. So
Penn (as Marathon): That's kind of sucky, but I don't know. Like, we're not here to make friends. Like, I completely understand the integrity of the sport and stuff like that, but take it from from me, I mean, the layman watching these things? Like sure, they might grumble a little bit, but when we win, which I expect we do even if we take this deal, nobody really cares. Like,
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Penn (as Marathon): Maybe the other racers. But
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, the higher up we go, the more we're known and the more we're like, I don't know. Do we have anyone in the group who has experience with disgruntled public confronting them or anything?
Penn: Marathon raises a sheepish hand.
Penn (as Marathon): But like I said, I mean, I - that was a its own case. I will not say, I will not talk to the integrity of some of my later career matches, but let me just, I mean, like people generally get over it. So [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): It's, it is true.
Cameron (as Emma): It would be my guess that we would not be the only team doing shit like this.
Kit (as Birdie): We'd just be the newest team doing it.
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.
Penn (as Marathon): And it's safer. That's mostly what I'm concerned about with you two. Is this stuff looks, I mean, it looks crazy fun -
Kit (as Birdie): [teasing] You want to keep Miss Cassidy safe?
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah. I mean
Cameron (as Emma): Legitimately yes.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, yeah. But okay, yeah, yeah, no, okay.
Penn (as Marathon): And you too. This seems like a death sport, even more than ice derby,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah how long has it been since we had a near death experience for anyone in this group? Like two weeks?
Kit (as Birdie): [sigh]
Penn (as Marathon): Put it on the board: two weeks since last near death experience.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh, we're keeping track of days now? I -
Sydney (as Cassidy): Just tally marks.
Cameron (as Emma): My thing, I'm I'm concerned safety wise, like, even though y'all are both excellent drivers, riders, whatever.
Penn (as Marathon): Of course, nothing to your skill.
Cameron (as Emma): There's other people on the track,
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): And we also, while we, we have, we have the the two bikes. We have the two bikes. Uh, it's, it's two. If, if something really bad happens to one of them in a way that we can't replace or fix something, we we're gonna be scrambling because we don't have, like, we don't have backups. We're not, we're not the the big club, like Carbon and and all of his dudes.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Penn (as Marathon): Which is ironically, Wanders team.
Cameron (as Emma): Also - yeah, we're [laugh], we don't have the same resources there, where we only have two riders, and we've got two bikes. We don't got backups on neither of them. So the more racing you do, the more y'all are at risk, and the more the bikes are at risk for something happening to where we're down a bike or a person.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean we're still basically doing the same amount of races anyway. We're just, like, throwing this one right? Because we still have to, like, pretend to be in it enough that -
Kit (as Birdie): No.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - unless it's giant piles of money make everything happen anyway and everyone in the city knows our names as scumbags.
Sydney (as Cassidy): As I understand it, it's just this one.
Cameron (as Emma): There'd have to be more than this one, but -
Kit (as Birdie): If we take Wander's deal, in theory, it would just be this next qualifier, maybe an exhibition show, and then the final where we can win the trophy. Opal, if she goes by what I'm assuming she will, it may be qualifier, match, match, maybe a third, and then if we get to the final.
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, if Opal is not the one to put us in that final, she might get a little little pissed. But
Cameron (as Emma): If, if we're there and can win it for her, though...
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, like,
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, she's not gonna, like, suspect us of doing whatever, if we lose races and somehow still magically appear?
Penn (as Marathon): No, that's what I'm saying, is she will, but then we'll win and it'll be all right.
Penn: Marathon gives a sweaty, cheesy smile.
Cameron (as Emma): I guess it's there's there has to be enough - y'all have to be in enough races and or exhibition whatevers to have the opportunity to get enough points to get to the finals.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yep. And theoretically, Opal has promised us the opportunity for that.
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): So if we discard if competitive integrity and then just go with Wander, then,
Cameron (as Emma): Well, if what Birdie is saying is that we would accomplish it slightly differently. It would be less races to show off the points, but might be the rich people pay a lot of money to watch you look cool on a bike by yourself,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Mhm.
Cameron (as Emma): - and going back and beefing up scores on your last race, mysteriously getting rid of other teams through rules lawyering.
Penn (as Marathon): Machinations.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah. Like, I think there'd - [concerned thinking noise] we're gonna - there's - I think if, if we, if we go with Wander and we throw this one, y'all'd have to win any other race we got in before the finals. But I don't, I don't know.
Kit (as Birdie): I'll say this, we're not the only ones that have been bought, you know?
Cameron (as Emma): I kind of just figured this whole city was just corruption.
Kit (as Birdie): It is.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean we have a council person's backing either way. So
Kit (as Birdie): Either way, but here's the thing - there are other people backed by wealthy donors, even if they're not councilors, who we don't know they might have, they might be paid off to knock out - I mean someone with a vendetta against Opal, because we are publicly Opal's team, could under the table pay their racer to kill one of us during a match. That's stuff that happens. That's why I don't know if -
Penn (as Marathon): Damn.
Kit (as Birdie): - unfortunately, integrity isn't -
Sydney (as Cassidy): And that can still happen, even if we're throwing the race.
Kit (as Birdie): It can.
Cameron (as Emma): Yes.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We're slow off the starting line and they turn around with a shotgun and [shot noise]
Kit (as Birdie): But in terms of probability,
Cameron (as Emma): If there's less races, there's less of a chance that somebody takes you out during a race.
Kit (as Birdie): So
Cameron (as Emma): I guess technically, at any point, someone could pull a shotgun on you, even if you're not on a motorcycle.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, it's like just being out in public. It's, I know that it's something that -
Cameron (as Emma): [interrupting] But if they did that, they, if they shot you with a shotgun during a race, they would very much not be racing anymore.
Kit (as Birdie): It's not shooting with a shotgun, it's -
Sydney (as Cassidy): [interrupting] It sounds like that's you can just pay people to take dives and do whatever anyway. So
Kit (as Birdie): It's not even just shooting a shotgun -
Penn (as Marathon): Shotgun or not -
Kit (as Birdie): - it's cutting people's brake lines, you know?
Penn (as Marathon): Sabotage or not, Cassidy are, is there - are you totally against this idea? It seems like the best of the two options. But, I mean, I don't want to, I don't want us to swamp you here. If, if you think differently, maybe we should think different.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean y'all all have the same opinion anyway.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, no, that's exactly what I'm trying to say. Is maybe, uh, maybe my opinion can be different if you've got reasons you think this other way would be better.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, we're accepting the more untrustworthy thing and being subject to public scorn for buying our way into the finals.
Cameron (as Emma): Realistically, we're gonna be subject to public scoring anyway because we've been here exactly two minutes, and y'all are gonna get into the championship.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Then let's throw the race and get it over with and just go full scum.
Kit (as Birdie): Ugh.
Penn (as Marathon): I'm sorry about your honor, Cassidy.
Kit (as Birdie): I don't exactly feel great about it either, unfortunately. I mean, my - [distressed noise]
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, we just, we the we could also just stop doing X Bike races, go smash and grab into Wander's complex, take the trophy and be out of here.
Kit (as Birdie): [mumbles]
Cameron (as Emma): Does he have it right now?
Kit (as Birdie): No, he doesn't. That's not,
Cameron (as Emma): Oh.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, he - I'm assuming,
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't know. It's probably an escrow or whatever, anyway, but
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah and I mean part, part of the reason why we're doing the racing is because Winifred - it wasn't where she thought it was gonna be.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): Look, here's what I'm saying about I don't feel fantastic about it either is because the racing name that I'm under, Zan, is one of the few people in recent X Biking history who did it from the ground up. It's not a great look for me. I'm not exactly excited about it. I'm not excited about what my siblings are gonna say about it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Then why not ignore the offer?
Kit (as Birdie): Because I do-
Penn (as Marathon): [interrupting] Cassidy, it's your safety, and if that's how you feel, I'm willing to back you up and not take this offer. I don't have the skin, I guess, in it like you and Birdie do.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean not doing races with full effort means we have less experience for when we need to do races with full effort. Doing an exhibition match is not prep, and it means then, if that's the course, we're into the finals, having done one real race?
Kit (as Birdie): What if we throw the race, we get our place in the final, and then we continue to try and do, maybe we take about, I don't know, we do one more race than we have to, or something like that? If, if there's a way to find a happy medium between the two in which we aren't publicly humiliating Opal or -
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't - I don't like putting ourselves in the control of like multiple different people.
Kit (as Birdie): Neither do I, but that's where we are right now. I don't know. I think it's if we talked Wander into possibly still pulling the string, still guaranteeing us, but we have to maintain some sort of image where it looks like Opal did all the work, or something like that.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, what are we gonna tell Opal? 'Sorry, we lost the race, but anyway, we did our own thing, and we promise it's better'?
Kit (as Birdie): If we do, if we lose the race, we do the exhibition.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, yeah, we could just go to Opal and go, 'Hey, by the way, we got approached by Wander and he wants us to throw the race. Is, can we do that in a way that's strategically advantageous?'
Kit (as Birdie): That would be horrible. [overlapping] That would be - he would kill us.
Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping] I feel like, if you want to not piss Wander off, [end overlap] then that - no.
Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] A, Opal will kill us. B, Wander will kill us.
Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping] We're in a situation right now. Where - [end overlap] yeah, where if we say, 'hey, we don't want to do that', Wander is going to say, 'okay, cool'. And I trust that that would be the response from him. It was given to us as an option. If we go and tell Opal Wander offered us to this, Wander is going to have us killed.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, or like my family. Here's the thing,
Cameron (as Emma): That's that's where the threats become real.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Ah yes, the casual mention of, oh, you know he's he doesn't mean -
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah is when we go and report him to another council person? Yes, that's when they do legitimately become real because we've now, we are trying to fuck him over and made it obvious we're doing that.
Sydney (as Cassidy): He doesn't he doesn't mean his threats, except when he means his threats.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, meaning as long as we don't fuck him over, I don't think that he's going to fuck us over. He thinks that it's all very interesting and whatever, but you don't like no, if, if we go and report it to someone who can do something about it, yeah he is going to come after us then, because we did something antagonistic against him to show that we deserve it, in his mind. Right now, we're cool. We did a job for him. Thumbs up.
Kit (as Birdie): The only reason I'm pushing for this is because it's a genuinely good offer that can get us out of danger to some degree. Sure, it may put us in a deficit of social capital with people, everyday X Bike fans, but I just wanted to, I just, I wanted to present it to you guys as something that we can do. But Cassidy, if you're really against it, then we can do things, we can do things the right way. We can we can race more and just really hope that neither of us is hurt and neither of the bikes are destroyed.
Cameron (as Emma): If there's - also, if there's specific pieces of it that are concerning, Birdie and I can go talk to Wander again.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, we could.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Just maybe I'm just tired of the city. I guess, for all of this, with all the Wander stuff, like I still don't really see the point on why we need a second, like, we have to play the council people against each other. Like, it's fine if we can do them both, like, give Opal the circuit key and we give Wander the real one, and they're both happy. This way, we are picking and having to engage even more in all of this political back and forth, I don't whatever. If that's what this city makes necessary, then I guess great. But sitting here talking about, you know, how much, how much do we want to look like scumbags for everyone in the city - we are racing as the Patina, and that is a name that around here, it is it has been known as like honor and like good mercenary work and the First Sword came from this group as a result of good actions in the city. This is like the only city we haven't gotten thrown out of. If the result of taking Wander's thing is that we get paraded around and, you know, rub all the other racers faces and all spectators faces in actually the Patina doesn't need to race because they're backed by important people and, in fact, uh, you screw the real racers that I don't know. I had a lot of - there's a lot of work put in by a lot of people for this reputation.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): And like, if, if, if, what makes the most sense is to just take the offer.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Fine, but I guess that's that's kind of where I'm at.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. I'd rather not piss off the ghost of my dead sibling or the rest of my alive siblings who can very much come and give me what for or whatever. And so, you know what? We don't have to play the game. Well, their game. We have to do racing games. But -
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): - point being,
Sydney (as Cassidy): We bow out of one round of political combat and choose one round of just honest racing.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, as honest as X Bikes get. I'll check our - well, Emma will check the brake lines before we -
Cameron (as Emma): Oh, yeah. No one's getting near those bikes.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, I appreciate you saying that, Cassidy, because I think I'm getting kind of caught up in double agenting and triple agenting, because I hate the council so much that I just kind of want to see them eat each other alive.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Like I'm I'm for being anti-establishment, but I guess, just not at the cost of our own like, who are we actually working for?
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, leave the Sas-machinations to someone else. See what I did?
Kit (as Birdie): [laugh] Sas-machinations...
Cameron (as Emma): Ah hahaha.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Ah that was pretty good, Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Thank you.
Kit (as Birdie): [long sigh] Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): And this is, this is besides the point, but we were not kicked out of Tree All.
Penn (as Marathon): I was.
Cameron (as Emma): Just wanted to say that. You were -
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yes okay. that's fair.
Cameron (as Emma): Well, no to be to be to be fair, Marathon, you were chased out of Tree All.
Penn (as Marathon): Ah true.
Cameron (as Emma): You were not kicked out of Tree All.
Penn (as Marathon): Very true.
Cameron (as Emma): The rest of us just left peacefully. [laugh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): So the Patina got exiled for a year and a day from Eagle Hill.
Penn (as Marathon): Mhm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We got kicked out for five years from Mellow Tone.
Penn (as Marathon): Mm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Allium has like a warrant out for my death and you know, many of the other crew who may already have their deaths. Quirk has a dear sister of mine that I think -
Kit (as Birdie): What?
Sydney (as Cassidy): - would be [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): Didn't know that.
Cameron (as Emma): Like I said, super doesn't matter, but I want to - it did matter to me actually. [laugh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): We are, we are accepted in Tree All.
Penn: Marathon puts an arm around Cassidy.
Kit (as Birdie): OooOoh.
Penn (as Marathon): But in Sasnak, we have integrity.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [overlapping] We had integrity in other places too.
Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] [sigh] Nowhere else do we have-
Cameron (as Emma): It wasn't, wasn't our fault. [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): Y'all have integrity? Dang.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I guess we'll see.
Cameron (as Emma): Did you leave yours somewhere as a Birdie?
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, yeah, along with my dignity, yeah, a long time ago. Um,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well.
Cameron (as Emma): On the floor of Haven's bedroom.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We might have some integrity back in the rig. I can go find you some next time we're there.
Kit (as Birdie): [laughing] Oh, thank you, Cassidy. You're so generous.
Cameron (as Emma): I brought my extra rations of integrity with me, lucky for you, so I can share.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I can grab some elbow grease for you, Emma, too while down there.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh god…[laughing]
Cameron (as Emma): My elbows are actually working fine. Thanks.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Oh, okay, good.
Nick: Next we see a private balcony on the side of Sasnak Traveling. There is a prevalent but not overly loud breeze from the motion of the city. There is a railing to keep people safely in, but it is one of the few places in the city where someone could comfortably watch the land roll slowly by as Sasnak Traveling travels. It is a view and a balcony that is private to the councilors and the Swords of the city, and Gwendolyn has summoned a representative of the Ramp Girls to discuss the precarious position of the city's politics.
Penn: Gwendolyn is waiting a little impatiently. She's tapping her armored boots as she half views the awesome sight of plains and broken road slowly passing by awaiting her contact. She is decked out entirely still in her regulation Swords armor that's still got a little bit of a luster to it in its shiny steel surface.
Sydney: There is a soft knock on the door, and the voice from the doorman announces Colonel Karma Jones, who steps into the room as the door shuts behind her. She is resplendent in her dress uniform, and today has her braids up in the cap that completes her outfit, making sure to look her finest in her official context for this meeting with the First Sword.
Penn: As Karma enters, Gwendolyn stands up a little straighter and self consciously brushes her two day old braids after seeing Karma's hair, her platinum hair bouncing off in messy strings.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Ah, welcome Karma. It's it's nice to see you again. Did- did the the man I sent you - did he make it out safely?
Sydney: Karma approaches and nods respectfully.
Sydney (as Karma): Yes, his message is delivered. Everything went smoothly.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I apologize for the state I sent him to you in. I had to make it look pretty convincing for everyone of course. So
Sydney (as Karma): Well he is safely out of all of our hair. May I have a seat?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Yes, please take one. Take as many as you'd like. Sometimes I like to take two to kick my feet up.
Sydney: And Karma purses her lips for a second and then drags a second chair over, lounges in the first with her feet on the second, showing her well polished boots and takes her hat off her head to put it on the small table next to them.
Penn: Gwendolyn gives a smile that reaches her eyes just a little bit too much before leaning in to her own chair to start business.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Well, I didn't just ask you here for updates on our shared messenger. I have been concerned about recent ventures into the Guts. Are you - are you familiar? I know you might not be as connected with the Drain Boys as you'd maybe want to be or not want to be.
Sydney (as Karma): Our relationship is mmm, adversarial, but I have, through my own investigations, gathered that there is some Guts activity happening, perhaps out of season.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I - I'm afraid that there's a new battlefield down there and while the Drain Boys are not somebody, not a group I'm too scared of offending, I am worried about all of the casualties that might happen down there. Opal, Wander, even a few other disparate council people, have been sending different groups down there. I'm not sure for what.
Sydney (as Karma): Is it a Drain Boys not doing their jobs keeping things working, or more like city control?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Everything's been working.
Sydney (as Karma): Or literal city control and not just territory?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I, I don't know. I, I'm worried about the - we've had so many Turnings recently. And it's, it's not impossible, but it's out of character with the city. I, I just can't help but think maybe there's, maybe there's some sort of connections there. But I, I'm it's not just that as well. I'm worried about this, the security that the security fights that have been happening between Opal and Wander specifically, and how they've been escalating. I mean, you, you heard about that that riot that was just a few weeks ago.
Sydney (as Karma): Of course.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Damaged.
Sydney (as Karma): And they're not kicked off by external factors. They are internal struggles.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): And so with all that, I was wondering if there was anything that you noticed coming through the ramp, or anything that maybe the Ramp Girls could assist us with in keeping the peace, or maybe, if you knew somebody that could help us keep the peace.
Sydney: Karma drums the fingers of one hand on the knuckles of her other.
Sydney (as Karma): I mean, it's mostly been shipping and occasional tourists. There's a couple of mercenary groups - I think your old one is here. They pass through.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Oh yeah, the Patina. Yeah, blast from the past that one.
Sydney (as Karma): It sounds like they've been active doing jobs for - well, and racing in the X Bikes.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Racing? Ah okay, that's another one of those things. The council people have been obsessed with this X Bike thing more than usual. I can't tell if they're just hyperactive or if there's some sort of connection between the races, the Guts, and all of this, these security riots happening up top.
Sydney (as Karma): From my perspective, it's all - every race, every neighborhood, is a new arena for them to jostle for control. For power.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): So you think it's more of the usual?
Sydney (as Karma): Well, Carbon left Opal to go to Wander after winning matches or winning last season.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Mm. All right.
Sydney (as Karma): As far as I know from here -
Sydney: And Karma gives an inquisitive look towards Gwendolyn.
Sydney (as Karma): - they had a duel that you presided over?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Yeah, I was going to ask, um, you didn't get a shipment of Wander in did you? Like just another Wander? Because that guy, I watched him die Karma. I presided over his death.
Sydney: Karma gives an open hand of shrug.
Sydney (as Karma): He looked pretty alive at the harvest festival.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I just, I thought that would really solve it, that it would end - it would end these riots. I'm, I'm pretty concerned about what, what they're accelerating to. I know I did ask you here to theorize a little bit and to see what you knew, but I want you to be prepared Karma. I think the riots keep growing, and I think something big is is going to break down soon.
Sydney (as Karma): Concerning, but I mean, you've been a First Sword who respects the autonomy of the Ramp Girls and the authority of the Ramp Girls, and we will do our best to provide what you need when it comes to that.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Yeah. I mean, I'm only in this position to [sigh], I'll try to keep as many people from dying as I can, I guess. I'm worried about who Opal, Wander, anyone, might put in my place if I was to step down, which I would love to at some point. [tired short laugh]
Penn: And Gwendolyn crumples a little bit before taking a snap breath and sitting back up straight.
Sydney (as Karma): I'm sure you don't need to hear this, but we, in my organization, much prefer you to the previous three First Swords.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Wow, that's appreciated.
Sydney (as Karma): Doesn't make your job any easier now, but people like us who can take the reins without crashing the ship - crashing the horse.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I appreciate that. I just I need you to be prepared to close the ramp. Maybe keep it closed.
Sydney (as Karma): Think it will be that bad that keeping people in is important? That's a lot of commerce.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I don't know. I don't know what to think at this point. It's all signs are pointing to something pretty bad. And I just, I need you to be prepared, and I might need to make some some harsh judgments, some blanket statements. I just need to know you would be in my corner for that.
Sydney: Karma straightens up in her chair from where she was lounging, though, she keeps her legs still out in front of her.
Sydney (as Karma): [sigh] We'll do what we need to to make keep the city safe. The councilor's security forces are outmatched by what we have. If it comes to that. May it not.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): [sigh] It's close to a promise as I'm probably going to get, so I appreciate that. Well with other players in the game now, you mentioned the Patina. Are you familiar with what they've been up to?
Sydney (as Karma): Making a splash. Looking to do, I think from what I've seen, much what the same that you did when you got here. Climbing the ladder, making friends, making money.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): If that's the case, it's about to get a lot messier than they think. I had people reporting that they have their weapons now?
Sydney (as Karma): It seems that way. I expect as part of one of the councilors dealings.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Hm. Who are they working for?
Sydney (as Karma): Opal is my big suspicion. Opal is their backer for the X Bikes team.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Oh, that's right. Eugh.
Sydney (as Karma): There may be other things going on. I'm still gathering. They've done nothing wrong, but they are causing ripples in a small pond.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Um, if they're just as innocent as - if the if this Patina is just as innocently ambitious as you're saying they are, what what made you bring them up in the first place?
Sydney (as Karma): Well, you were part of the group, so
Penn (as Gwendolyn): That's true. They're a different group now, though.
Sydney (as Karma): Yeah, fair. And then they have someone I knew from my earlier days in the Ramp Girls. Someone involved in some of the, ohh~, a group that had got up to some maybe less than legal happenings long ago, nothing recent.
Penn: Gwendolyn sits back, raising an eyebrow.
Sydney (as Karma): Whether it's a hunch or just being careful.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): All right. Well, if you're keeping your eyes on them, keep me in the loop?
Sydney (as Karma): Of course.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I mean,
Sydney (as Karma): And if you have opinions about my eye keeping I can adjust my course.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): No, no, keep it up. That sounds - I appreciate you as an investigative resource. Just -
Sydney (as Karma): I have personal interests as well, but
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Keep an eye on that - wait.
Penn: And Gwendolyn raises her other eyebrow now.
Sydney (as Karma): We had coffee.
Penn: Eyebrow raises just slightly higher.
Sydney (as Karma): It's a good way to gather info.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): With someone you have a personal interest in.
Sydney (as Karma): And when you have a job that takes so much of your life, why not mix business and pleasure? I'm sure you understand.
Penn: Gwendolyn's eyes get a tired look.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Just make sure it's more business than pleasure, please.
Sydney (as Karma): Of course, First Sword.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): All right, and there's still one, one member of the Patina that I did work with, um Cassidy Shard. I don't know if she's cooled off in the last few years, but I might just keep an extra eye on on her. Not that I disagree with the changes she causes, but she's an agent of change for sure.
Sydney (as Karma): Good to know.
Penn: And Gwendolyn stands up.
Sydney: Karma stands up, following her lead, and replaces her hat.
Penn: And holds out her hand.
Sydney: Karma gives her a strong professional handshake.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Anything else, Colonel?
Sydney (as Karma): Not today.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): All right, dismissed.
Sydney: Karma nods, does an about face, and heads out the door.
Penn: And Gwendolyn turns to look back out at the plains and spots a crumbling building out a ways away, and with a tired look, crumbles herself into a chair.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind