The Patina shines in the Championship parade as political dealings behind closed doors cause unforeseen chaos.
The Patina shines in the Championship parade as political dealings behind closed doors cause unforeseen chaos.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- WALLA Ballpark Applause Short 05 by AshFox. Link & License.
- WALLA Ballpark Applause Short 01 by AshFox. Link & License.
- Cardiff Indoor Market by odilonmarcenaro. Link & License.
- Riot Crowd Immersed in 5.1 Take 1 by MrProfDrDickweed. Link & License.
- Sleepers by Sergey Cheremisinov. Link & License.
- Death Valley (ID 1001) - Remastered by Lobo Loco. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
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A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 44: High-Powered Contractors
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
Welcome to that season where you piss off the stuck-up HOA with the giant skeleton in your yard. Unless you have a giant skeleton in your yard year-round, which means it’s time to swap the seasonal gear out for spider webs and pumpkins full of candy. And if you need something to spook passersby, consider backing our Patreon. The bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards there will captivate the victims, and leave them open to you strolling up behind them and saying “boo”.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 44: High-Powered Contractors. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Penn (as Marathon): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, we won the whole freaking god dang X Bike Tournament! Birdie just totally crushed it. She, as Hellcat, just launched through this course. Took ahead of Carbon basically the whole time and we took home the trophy - well technically we didn’t take home the trophy just yet, we gotta get that - pick that up from a parade, which has got somethin’ in it that will help us solve all the, solve all our problems with the Knight when we bring it to Winifred. I’m a little confused by the whole thing to be honest still. And Cassidy, she finished still too. I’m so proud of her. Even though it was like - she almost died getting hit by fireworks, getting hit by track flying up out of nowhere - she’s Miss Tenacity for sure and I gave her a medal to prove it. I gave all of us kinda some medals, but er - maybe some prizes, some prizes - Cassidy got the medal. But uh yeah, I am really really excited for this parade. It’s gonna be kinda like old times again running in a winner’s parade. I’m excited. Woo! Go Patina!
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: The meeting room for the Council of Sasnak is once again occupied by Gwendolyn and Opal. We see Opal entering the room having requested a audience with Gwendolyn and Gwendolyn is flanked by two other war-like figures grasping large swords and standing at attention. The lights are low and the atmosphere is serious.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Opal, you wanted to meet?
Cameron (as Opal): Yes, First Sword. Thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Of course, take your seat.
Cameron (as Opal): Thank you.
Penn: Gwendolyn gestures to one of the seats at this elaborate table.
Cameron: Opal gestures to a few of her aides that she has behind her who are carrying large stacks of paperwork and file folders to just stand behind her as she takes her seat and she rests her hands very gracefully on the table in front of her.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Now, what is this you were talking about that you wanted to meet about? You said something about charges against Wander?
Cameron (as Opal): Yes.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I mean, it sounds, [laugh] it doesn't sound unlike you, but it sounds pretty ridiculous.
Cameron (as Opal): Does it? Honestly First Sword, the man's concerning.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Oh, we all know he's pretty concerning, but do you really have something sticky on this guy?
Cameron (as Opal): Oh, more than one thing.
Cameron: And she does a little flick of her wrist by her ear, and her two aides split around the table and approach Gwendolyn from either side and set down their bulk of paperwork to either side and then start flipping it open to show specific evidence listings that Opal has tabbed and called attention to.
Cameron (as Opal): So you, as you are well aware, Wander and I have been in competition for quite a while with our business undertakings, and while we have managed to, for the most part, take care of things in a peaceful, -
Penn (as Gwendolyn): [disbelieving huff]
Cameron (as Opal): - more polished manner, that's not always been the case, at least on the underside. It - I found numerous records showing that even after one of the decisions was made within the Council that Wander went against that decision to stake some claim or bribe some official, bribe fellow council members, and has been - the largest sticking point is the market manipulation that he's been doing by sticking his long sticky fingers into many different industries across Sasnak.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): And this doesn't have anything to do with Crystal Canyons or any of those deals that have fallen through, that have been ambiguous up to a point here?
Cameron (as Opal): So I won't lie, those are definitely in the paperwork. I won the Crystal Canyons contract since I, in theory, I killed Wander.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Of course, of course, yes.
Cameron (as Opal): So, but we, but we have seen interferences, we'll say, within Crystal Canyons, even so, in the very recent times since I acquired that contract, Wander has not ceased his influence, meddling within the Dome. And he's just, I think the problem is, really, is just, he has so many different people in his pockets that he can really make the market do whatever he wants it to at any point.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): All of this that you're saying. It it makes sense. It tracks. It's stuff I would arrest anyone else for. But it's also stuff that you are doing Opal and, you know, I - it's the same reason I can't just up and indefinitely remove you from the Council, you know, you've got so much of this influence. I need a ringer to be able to take this guy in.
Cameron (as Opal): Did you miss the part of him bribing other Council members with wild tech?
Nick: One of the other Swords that is with Gwendolyn steps forward. He's a broad shouldered man wearing a wide brimmed hat.
Nick (as Clip): And you say you have evidence of this specifically? The bribery?
Cameron (as Opal): Yes, um in the left stack there - if you'll flip to that please, Emilia. I have numerous sworn statements signed by a notary. I didn't want anyone to accuse me of doing any peer pressure or anything, so obviously, with an impartial member of the government there, but notice the signed statements with the lists of bribes and for what decisions or points being brought up in Council meetings that they were received for. They are primarily past Council members who were willing to speak out about him, but there are several in there as well, of current Council members who are not so much a fan, who while they of course have not accepted bribes from him, have been approached several times, and they have their statements in there as well.
Nick: The Sword starts to shuffle through the paperwork and reads through it and looks to Gwendolyn.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): What's your take, Clip?
Nick (as Clip): Whether these statements are coerced or not, we can't ignore it. Everything's in order here, and we've got testaments from most of the council.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Clip - Clip come over here a second.
Nick (as Clip): Sure thing, boss.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Opal, please enjoy your seat. We will talk momentarily.
Cameron (as Opal): Of course.
Penn: As Gwendolyn steps a few lumbering feet back, she gestures towards this Sword, Clip, to come and join her, and the other Sword behind her.
Nick: Clip walks over and leans in a little bit conspiratorially.
Nick (as Clip): Yeah, what's up?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Clip, I know you know you might you're a little fresh faced all these political machinations here, but this is really dangerous stuff that you're fucking with right now, okay? We - like maybe this is something we can approach over the next few months, but with the riots going on right now, we can't make a straight move like this on Wander, especially with all of the people in town, the extra people in town for the X Bike race. Let's just stave this off for a few more months. That's all I'm saying.
Nick (as Clip): Boss, my only concern would be that if it gets out that we knew about all this and didn't do anything, we could undermine all the authority that the Swords have. There's not that many of us trying to hold this city together.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): That's part of my [sigh], part of my struggle here. Well.
Nick: The other Sword nods gravely.
Penn: Gwendolyn takes a deep breath out and puts her hands over her face, trying to destress. And then her hands start to grip on her hair pretty tightly, her fingers going into her braids before she lets go and quickly turns around and punches into the wall of this conference like room, and her metal gauntlet goes right through some of the paneling, and as she pulls her fist out a little bit gingerly, she shakes it out and turns back towards Opal.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Okay, I - we could move pretty quickly on this, I am sure, and I am sure that's what you would like as well, but we're gonna need a little bit of bargaining power here, okay? I need you to make sure no more riots are coming from Opal Corp. And I, before you deny anything, I have just about as much explicit evidence of your tampering and all of this kind of stuff and all of these riots as I'm sure you do here about Wander. It's just the fact that you've brought it up officially, we're gonna have to do something about it. And I know that makes my job harder, and I'm sure that makes your position a little easier. And so with that like give and take, I'm going to need you to make sure your troops are nowhere near the parade tomorrow, okay? That's where Wander is making his next public appearance, not surrounded by the security of his building. That's where we'll make a public arrest, and I'm sure that's something you would enjoy too, right? So you're getting all of this, and all you have to do is make sure your troops stay home - your your Opal Corp, paramilitary forces. And then if you could keep them off the street for even longer, I'd be willing to do even more for you, Opal. How does that sound?
Penn: And Gwendolyn has her middle fingers steepled together.
Cameron: Opal is looking contemplatively towards her large amassed piles of paperwork, and has tilted her head.
Cameron (as Opal): I had been planning to attend the parade myself with my X Bike team having won the championship. Am I permitted a bodyguard?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): If you yourself would like to attend - hmm I'm actually gonna say as part of this, no. I could do this in three months, or I could do this tomorrow. It's your call.
Cameron (as Opal): All right well in that case, I have additional evidence to provide you.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Ah for fuck sake.
Cameron: She reaches into the front of her jacket and pulls forth a data stick and slides it across the table towards Gwendolyn.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): And this is?
Cameron (as Opal): If you plug it in, you will find a large amount of video evidence, as well as other assorted evidence pieces that aren't quite as obvious as video, showing or illustrating Wander's smuggling operation to bring illegal contraband into the city, primarily weaponry -
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Through the Ramp Girls?
Cameron (as Opal): No, no, no. Not through the Ramp Girls, but the smuggling, I don't - the Ramp Girls security is very good. I don't, I don't think they're just letting random giant war power machines in.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Are you saying there's an alternate entrance?
Cameron (as Opal): Surely, yes, there's numerous. There has to be.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Aww.
Cameron (as Opal): The city is huge, and the Guts are -
Penn (as Gwendolyn): [interrupting] We sealed all those up.
Cameron (as Opal): - very large. But anything that can be sealed can be reopened.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Reopened, of course. And of course, I wouldn't know about that.
Cameron (as Opal): And the Ramp Girls can't watch every direction at once. So I can, I can just tell you that I know he has not so much warehouses full of the contraband as he is smarter than that. It is much more spread out. But if you were to collect it together, it would equal warehouses worth of contraband. So I know that he has collected quite a abundance of weaponry and presumably wild tech - of what its usefulness is I can't say, personnel - although those hopefully are not stored in warehouses, -
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Oh god.
Cameron (as Opal): - and various other raw materials and things that should be getting taxed as they come through the Ramp Girls, but -
Penn (as Gwendolyn): That's terrific. No, that's awesome. Okay.
Cameron (as Opal): -are inflating the markets.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Well, I guess if you have all of this evidence, I am forced to move tomorrow. Clip.
Penn: And Gwendolyn slides the drive off of the table and tosses it over her shoulder to Clip behind her.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Take this. Get this checked by Vigil if it's legit or not, and [sigh] I'll get the posse ready for tomorrow. Start prepping, everybody. It's gonna be a heavy day.
Nick (as Clip): Sure thing, boss.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Okay Opal. Is there anything else before tomorrow where I should not see you or any of your forces at the parade?
Cameron (as Opal): I will stay home as much as I would like to watch his downfall. I have already killed him once. So I think I I can remain indoors for that, and I can assure you, none of my employees will be present at the parade, with the exception of my contractors who obviously just won the bike race for me, they're they will be there. They're not officially employed, but high-powered contractors, whatever.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Would you be willing to sign on that?
Cameron (as Opal): Sure. Yeah.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Grip, get over here. You know contract law, right?
Sydney: Grip steps forwards and speaking for the first time,
Sydney (as Grip): Yes, ma'am.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Perfect. Take this over. Get her signed up. I want no Opal forces tomorrow, no employees,
Penn: And Gwendolyn does air quotes,
Penn (as Gwendolyn): - no contractors, no nothing. Okay, as best you can.
Sydney (as Grip): Yes, ma'am.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Don't let her dance around you.
Cameron (as Opal): Besides the X Bikes team - they do need to attend the award ceremony.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Besides~ your X Bike team.
Cameron (as Opal): Thank you.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Yes.
Sydney (as Grip): I'll draw it up.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Perfect. Thank you.
Penn: And she holds up a little fist for a fist bump.
Sydney: Grip gives a fist bump with the clank of their armor meeting, and takes a step back to resume his parade rest in silence.
Penn: And Gwendolyn walks out to prepare the arsenal and the planning for tomorrow.
Cameron: As Gwendolyn leaves the room and Grip starts walking around the table to get this contract stuff done with Opal, Opal gives a sly looking smile that could just be, 'yay, down with Wander', or it could be, 'oh, you poor, foolish, small sword child. You think you're going to be able to outsmart me' - either way, hard to tell. And then she ushers her two attendants back over to her and says,
Cameron (as Opal): Emilia, if you could go get Barnaby, he's waiting outside. I'll, of course, need my lawyer to look it over.
Nick: It's late morning the next day, and the Patina is presiding over a triumphant parade. You all are riding a float with Carbon Steel and Contagion through a wide thoroughfare that winds between the Domes of Sasnak. It's a main road lined with industrial buildings and shop fronts. The sidewalks are filled with cheering fans waving and holding up signs. What are some details about the float and the crowd that stand out to you?
Kit: Given how big X Biking has gotten in Sasnak, the typical demographics that you see cheering for each team varies with where these teams originated, especially if they're an all local team, you'll see people from that neighborhood show up and show out more. And I think this time, there are dozens upon dozens of people that Birdie knew and that the Foundlings knew personally from the Stacks while Birdie was growing up that have come out to celebrate that someone who wasn't from a Dome has taken the Championship for once.
Cameron: I feel like the float has to match the theme of the final race, so it has to be very sparkly and expensive looking and just way too much. It's too much. Everybody's squinting at it because it's reflecting so much light.
Penn: With that there is a giant rotating mirror ball sticking half out of the top of this float that's shining in all sorts of directions and walking on top of it, Marathon has her mascot get up on her cropped black leather outfit, and she's holding what looks to be some sort of air gun with flame decals on it that's firing off various little candies out into the crowd to the many grasping and clamoring hands of children throughout the city as they continue to move.
Sydney: Speaking of the children as the float slowly goes past, we see the action figures of Johnny Bikes joined by the new top three finishers. It seems the manufacturers were working hard overnight, or perhaps had made some for every racer, but we see stunt suit Birdie and a sad looking Carbon and a very rusty looking Contagion held in hands of small children who are looking up with wide eyes at seeing the actual people who they have action figures of slowly go past and maybe even wave or make eye contact with them.
Cameron: There's probably a lot of confetti happening that is kind of making it seem like it's snowing along the parade route. It's glitter. It's basically just chunky glitter. All of these people are going to be so covered in glitter for so long, and are going to have to work so hard to get this glitter out of their hair, but for the moment, we all look just incredible. And a lot of people, as they're cheering in, the crowds are eating the X Bike Championship commemorative cronut, which is of course, covered in edible glitter. It's for the most part, a standard cronut with edible glitter on it that comes in all different colors, so that your kids can choose their favorite color, thus making you forced to buy them. But the only special flavoring they have is they have a vanilla sweet cream on them that has a fake gemstone that corresponds with whatever color the glitter is stuck into the top, just like you put a little bit of whipped cream on top of something and put a cherry on it. But they still do look really good.
Nick: Perched on the side of the float, half heartedly, waving to the crowd. You can see Carbon Steel. He is wearing a shiny rainbow suit, both a blazer that is open with no shirt on underneath, and bell bottom pants with pink sparkly fringe on both the pants and the sleeves of the blazer. He is clearly not very happy, having not won this year, and looks sort of like a wet, dying bird rather than a triumphant racer, and is waving to the crowd, and occasionally you hear a sort of pouting
Nick (as Carbon): Chya.
Nick: From that side of the float. Carbon gets tangled up in the sparkly tassels on his sleeves and looks for a second like he can't move, and then manages to break free.
Kit: Birdie is wearing a very oversized maroon plaid blazer that is very sparkly. It's maroon glitter so that she could say that she was on theme, because it's shiny, and a very large silver necklace that takes up the blank space on her chest that normally a person would put a shirt, but she has decided a big necklace is enough, and underneath, she wears a pair of torn up black denim shorts and tops it off with a silvery beret and a pair of knee high platform stompy boots. Birdie is just running around because she realized very quickly that people that she knew had come down from the Stacks to watch her and. And she's flitting around between the sides and the front and the back to yell greetings at people that she knew. The float has been covered in strings of beaded necklaces, and she's just sort of tossing the strands of beads to the people that she knows. She's hit about three of her neighbors with the treat bags that were provided for the racing teams by now, but she seems to be having a lot of fun.
Sydney: Cassidy is standing off to the side of the float, not having placed in the top three, in contrast to the outfit that she wore for all of the X Bike season, she has on a practically skin tight cat suit from her neck down to her wrists and down into her boots that's patterned in geometric mirrored plates, each catching different angles of the lights and the effects around on a brown base that harkens back to the color of plaid that she had and her knee high boots have mini buckles and coordinate. Her hair is down and decorated with small metallic accents. A Foundling observer would probably quite keenly notice that this was perhaps influenced by some of Winifred's fashion tastes, but she's sitting on the side and talking to Emma and watching the crowd and smiling when she looks at them, but in her head, she is definitely counting down the minutes until she stops having to put the front up.
Penn: As Marathon continues to almost log roll this mirror ball on her platform heels that go with this mascot costume, she holsters this air gun on her back and bends down to grab what looks like a toy chainsaw, a plush chainsaw, and shouts out to some kid she can barely see in the crowd and just points in a general direction out there. And she says,
Penn (as Marathon): This one's for you, kiddo!
Penn: And she tosses this plush chainsaw out.
Penn (as Marathon): Y'all this kind of fun. This is takin' me back.
Nick: There is a flurry of activity as kids fight for the chainsaw and it disappears under a huddle of bodies.
Penn (as Marathon): They make these things quick.
Sydney (as Cassidy): The power of branding.
Penn (as Marathon): Y'all, we look so hot up here.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Can confirm.
Cameron: Speaking of hot, Emma is sitting next to Cassidy, hanging out on the side of the float, and she is wearing a gold shimmery jumpsuit. It's not sequins, it's more the glitter fabric material. And over it has on a gold sequin jacket that's in the style of a jean jacket, and along the back seam and down the arms, she's joining Carbon in the fringe game, and she has rhinestone fringe hanging down. She is, while keeping Cassidy company and keeping her mostly chill with this amount of attention and human interaction, she is tossing out the gift bags and beads and all sorts of stuff that they left on the float for the team to distribute, and is softly tossing them underhand to younger kids along the route, but then also taking great joy and occasionally just nailing a bored teen in the head with one of the plushies if they're not paying attention to the float, and then just looking innocently again and throwing beads at small children.
Penn: Contagion, meanwhile, is standing closer to Carbon, waving very genuinely to the crowd and passing out beads as well. She has her pink mohawk all spiked up now that she doesn't have to worry about a helmet. She's wearing a very tube toppy top with a lot of straps through the midriff and up around her neck that moves into large, wide leg trousers with little cutouts at the hips, and it's all in a black glitter that really helps make all of the numerous piercings on her face shine especially bright.
Penn (as Contagion): Cheer up Carbon. Least you're second this year.
Nick (as Carbon): No, you're not first, you're last.
Penn (as Contagion): Still got your bike. You can race again next year.
Nick (as Carbon): Why would you bring that up? I don't have my bike. They took it.
Penn (as Contagion): They took it?
Nick (as Carbon): They took it.
Penn (as Contagion): Who took it?
Nick (as Carbon): I guess the team owed more money than I thought.
Penn (as Contagion): Oh~.
Nick (as Carbon): Must have leveraged it. Everything was written in stone. I don't know what I'm gonna do now.
Penn (as Contagion): Oh, I'm. So sorry, but passing out candy always helps me, and you can always stay with the ScavengHERs.
Nick (as Carbon): Oh, you mean it?
Penn (as Contagion): Hey, we could use a generational talent like you on our team.
Penn: And you see Contagion turn to see whoever might be looking from the Patina and winks.
Nick: Carbon puts his hand into the bag of candy and sort of sprinkles it over the side half heartedly.
Nick (as Carbon): I'll think about it.
Penn (as Contagion): Don't think about it too hard ~.
Nick (as Carbon): Oh, I never think about things too hard.
Penn: Marathon speeds up her walk a little bit and takes a little steadying bounce off of this rotating ball and onto the solid surface of this float and comes down to the rest of the Patina near the edge.
Penn (as Marathon): Y'all. Is that the end up there? When do we get the trophy again?
Cameron (as Emma): At the end, right?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. Four more streets.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, come on.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I looked at the map beforehand.
Cameron (as Emma): Of course you did.
Nick: The parade continues on and over the sound of the music being piped through the streets, I need everyone to make me a hard Perception check, please.
Cameron:
Well, if you're in short range with me, you get a blue die. If you and me are engaged, you get two blue die. You also have Heightened Awareness, right?
Kit: [affirmative noise] Oui.
Cameron: Because we only give it to other people, and so we give it to each other.
Kit: Yeah. Birdie is rolling two yellows, a green, a blue and three purples.
Cameron: I'm rolling the exact same dice pool. [laugh]
Sydney: I'm in engaged range with Emma, so I have an extra blue, which means I'm rolling two yellows, a green, and two blues against three purples.
Penn: Marathon is rolling three purple, three green, and a blue.
[dice rolling]
Kit: Two successes and two threats.
Cameron: Two successes.
Sydney: A Triumph with no success and two threats.
Penn: One failure and three advantages.
Nick: Well, the only people who actually see the thing are Birdie and Emma, because they're the only two that succeed. So over the sound of the music Birdie and Emma, you hear screaming from further back in the crowd and the sounds of some sort of conflict, and when you look in that direction, you can see that there are security forces pushing their way through the crowd, and the crowd is also pushing and shoving with each other as unrest starts to spread from some of the back alleys. With the threats that you all accumulated, quickly a portion of the crowd spills over into the street in front of your parade float, and the float is forced to stop as the crowd is getting increasingly violent, and you can see security starting to lay around themselves with cudgels, trying to clear away unsuccessfully, and your float is stopped.
Cameron: When you said, further back in the crowd, do you mean like behind us on the parade route?
Nick: Farther away from the street, and then it starts to roll forward from side alleys and things and spills into the road.
Sydney: Do we see what color the security people are, like, what color their uniforms are?
Nick: Yeah, they're black uniforms. Black is Opal. Red is Wander.
Kit: Birdie, as she's been flitting around, has definitely started to see as she's moved from the back of the float to the front, that it's not just a couple of rowdy interactions, and that this is starting to escalate to a point of extreme danger to the people that she's been interacting with this whole time that she's known since she moved to Sasnak. I think her first instinct is to turn to everyone else who's on the float, but mostly focus on the Patina and try to call attention to it and ask them to come up to the front so that they can try to do something without completely going down into the fray of it and risking getting lost from one another.
Nick: So Birdie is able to call to attention that this is happening to everybody, and then the crowd spills into the street and the float comes to a stop. This is all happening pretty close to simultaneously right now.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, shoot!
Penn: And Marathon stumbles forward in her heels off of this mirror ball.
Cameron: As soon as Emma had heard the screams, she had stood up from where she was sitting with Cassidy's to get a better look above the crowd, and leans down and grabs Cassidy's arm and pulls her up too.
Sydney: Cassidy snaps out of a reverie she was just absorbing the crowd as like an ocean of people instead of individuals, and she's brought back to it by Emma dragging her up and looks around and catches what's going on.
Sydney (as Cassidy): More riots.
Cameron (as Emma): Why does this always happen?
Kit (as Birdie): Why are their uniforms black?
Penn: Contagion has been taking off her earrings and mumbles
Penn (as Contagion): Opal Corp.
Penn: And we see her hop down off of the float and push through people to go and punch the nearest security guard.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, Opal's security is in the black uniforms.
Kit (as Birdie): Well, no, I I know that's why it's - this is - this shouldn't be happening.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, I guess we're being sacrificed today.
Kit (as Birdie): What?
Cameron (as Emma): Uh~.
Penn (as Marathon): Do we get down there and help?
Kit (as Birdie): We need to we don't -
Penn: Marathon is dusting her knees off.
Nick: As you all are talking, you begin to hear gunfire in the distance, and more people are pushing forward into the street to get away from what sounds like much more violent conflict somewhere off of this main road.
Cameron (as Emma): Um we should get to the stage.
Penn (as Marathon): Dirt.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. Let's get out of the open. That way.
Cameron (as Emma): Yep.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Sydney: Cassidy points in the direction. They're either gonna have to follow the parade or they're gonna have to get off the main street and take back streets, but it's all pretty crowded.
Penn (as Marathon): Wish I had my skates on.
Cameron (as Emma): Before we get off the float, weird question - can I have your chainsaw, Marathon?
Penn (as Marathon): Oh uh, sure. Just don't shred anybody too bad.
Penn: And Marathon, flings a chainsaw shaped black pack from behind her back to her front, and in a smooth motion, unzips and pulls out the chainsaw to give to Emma.
Cameron: Emma, very reverently, takes the chainsaw and tests its weight a little bit as she's approaching the edge of the front of the float to hop down.
Penn (as Marathon): Careful. It's Charlie two. I don't want a Charlie three.
Cameron (as Emma): I'm hoping that it can win any confrontation that I might find myself in.
Sydney (as Cassidy): There's gunfire. We have a bigger problem.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, that's why I'm getting away from the guns.
Cameron: Emma hops down off the float.
Penn (as Marathon): Let's get you out of here, Miss Cassidy. We don't need you taking another bullet.
Sydney: Cassidy jumps off the float without waiting for Marathon's help, and then looks up expectantly.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, I need your help getting off with these shoes. Thank you very much.
Penn: Marathon holds her hand down.
Sydney: Cassidy helps her off quickly, and then as they follow, Cassidy reaches down into the tops of each of her boots and pulls out throwing knives. Because even with how skin tight and moderately revealing, except for all of the metal plates, it's not very protective. So she had to put something somewhere. As the rest of us pull weapons out, can I use my Triumph to make sure that there's a guard or someone nearby that can give Birdie a proper melee weapon?
Nick: Yes, that is a very good idea.
Kit: Birdie will jump down with ease from the float and taking a little bit of a jog ahead of her friends, she will find the first downed security guard that she possibly can and ransack their person for whatever weapons she can get her hands on, and she'll come up with a weighted baton and a pocket knife from the guard and nod to the Patina.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, I guess we're all armed - again.
Nick: So the plan is you all are moving towards the stage. Who is taking point?
Cameron: Emma, she has a chainsaw.
Nick: All right, Emma, I am going to need you to roll me a hard Coercion check.
Cameron: May I have at least one blue die because I am holding a chainsaw?
Nick: Do you start the chainsaw?
Cameron: Yes.
Nick: You may have two blue die for having a running chainsaw, because who the hell is going to stand in front of you if you're gunning this thing walking through a crowd?
Cameron: It's not gunning it constantly. I turn it on and then rev it. I don't want to accidentally hit anybody that I don't mean to hit with it. It's not spinning constantly, but I do have it turned on so I can start it spinning at any point. I'm going to flip a Story Point to upgrade, because Willpower is not my highest stat. So for this Coercion check with the chainsaw, I will be rolling a yellow, a green, two blue, and three purple.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: One success.
Nick: Okay, good. You are very much able to help clear the way for everyone. I need everyone now to make me a average Athletics check please to see if you are able to push your way through this crowd and stick together. It would have been much harder, except people want to get out of your way.
Penn: Marathon is rolling two purple versus four yellow.
Cameron: Emma is rolling two yellows, one green, and two purple.
Kit: Birdie is rolling two yellows and two purples.
Sydney: I'm rolling two yellows and two greens against two purples.
[dice rolling]
Penn: Three successes and two advantages.
Cameron: Two successes, a threat, and a Triumph.
Kit: One success and one threat.
Sydney: One success and three advantages.
Nick: Nice. So the good news is, with those advantages and your success, you all are able to stick together and people get the heck out of your way. So you all are able to get through this horrible crowd where people are being attacked and attacking each other. You make it down the first couple of streets, and you can see the stage in the distance. On the stage, you can see there is a cordon of red clothed security keeping people back from the stage. The trophy is sitting in the middle of the stage on a table waiting to be awarded to you all.
You can also see that Wander and Gwendolyn are on the stage, facing each other. As you work your way closer, with Emma clearing the way by revving the chainsaw occasionally, you begin to see on the edges of the crowd joining in the fray, people who are not dressed as security. They're dressed like people not from the city at all. They're wearing a mishmash of clothes. They are much more heavily armed than anybody you've seen in the city, and they seem just as interested in looting the surrounding stores as they do fighting with anybody. And as you make that realization, you find yourself having cleared the crowd and Wander's security forces recognize you and move out of the way to allow you up on the stage.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Gwen, what the hell is happening? More riots?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Cassidy, I'm trying to get this under control.
Sydney (as Cassidy): All right, the parade got stopped. We had to leave the float.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Is that a chainsaw? Stand the fuck down.
Kit (as Birdie): There are armed security guards over running every civilian in the vicinity.
Sydney (as Cassidy): There's people shooting guns at each other.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): You think, I can't see that? What am I supposed to do? We're - I'm sending out as many people as I can.
Kit (as Birdie): Is Opal here?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Shit, I sure hope not. She's not supposed to be. Is - did you see her?
Kit (as Birdie): Well, they're her people.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Oh, my God, of course.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Why isn't she supposed to be here? She should be like handshaking for awards.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Wander you're coming with me. You're under indefinite custody. You're an indefinite removal from the council. As of this moment, you are coming with me. Tell all your guys to stand down, as much as that carries fucking weight around here. And you all go stop them or something.
Nick: As you all are able to climb up on stage, Wander, has his arms down by his sides, and he looks to Gwendolyn before looking at the members of the Patina.
Nick (as Wander): Well, First Sword, it is certainly a bold move when you're surrounded by my people to declare that I'm under arrest, especially when all of this disquiet seems to have been caused by my main rival. Would you care to furnish me with an explanation before I surrender myself into your custody?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I had a line. I forgot it by now. Okay, let's just go. We're going. Come on.
Cameron: Emma has been slowly side stepping, approaching the trophy as this conversation's been happening. As soon as they got on stage,
Penn: Gwendolyn will grab, Wander by one of the arms and start pulling him out.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): And don't threaten me again.
Nick: Oh, boy. So it's at this point Gwendolyn, where you notice a couple of things. All of Wander's security forces are now facing inward, looking at you and Wander and coming down the street in surprising numbers appear to be some sort of militia from outside the city. You're not sure where they came from or who they are, and they are extremely heavily armed and making their way towards the stage. And then the next thing you notice is that Wander is holding a knife under your arm with the point wedged between a gap in your armor and says,
Nick (as Wander): Oh, I don't think I'll be going anywhere, First Sword.
Penn: Gwendolyn grits her teeth,
Penn (as Gwendolyn): I told you not to threaten me again.
Penn: And she flings her arm a little bit a little haphazard with the damage she might get from this knife, trying to minimize it with a jerky movement, and she pulls out her large sword from behind her back that gleams in the light almost as tall as she is.
Nick: I really want to know what the Patina is doing right now, because you are in a donut of death and what looks like a formal duel is about to break out in front of you, or an informal duel, since they're doing whatever.
Cameron: I've got my chainsaw, I'm going towards that trophy.
Penn: Is the chainsaw still on?
Cameron: The engine still running. She hasn't revved it since she got to this stage, but she's not gonna spend time having to turn it back on.
Penn: As Gwendolyn has unsheathed the sword, she passes it to one hand and quickly puts one hand, reaching it behind her back, trying not to take her eyes off Wander and says,
Penn (as Gwendolyn): [yelling] And turn off the fucking chainsaw. Get out of here!
Kit: Birdie really wants to stop or negotiate and let other people focus on the trophy - just wants to stop Gwendolyn and Wander from engaging in an actual duel.
Sydney: Cassidy's she's watching the Wander/Gwen confrontation escalating, worried that she's about to see her old teammate get killed in front of her because they have learned some things about Wander, and she's pretty sure Gwen's not gonna win that fight. She's not thinking about the trophy. I don't know if she's prepared to try and negotiate, because she's not much of a talker, but
Kit: I think it would be good to have both Birdie and Cassidy there, because of the work that Birdie has done with Wander. So we have someone on both ends. I think Birdie suspects that Wander doesn't actually want to kill Gwendolyn. It's just like a test.
Penn: Marathon will be on team take the trophy, because that's her prerogative.
Cameron: Emma has been sneaking towards the trophy this entire time, so I'm getting the trophy.
Sydney: Cassidy is looking anxiously between the pair of Wander and Gwendolyn, the circle of Wander's guards around them and the approaching militia coming up the road that seems to not be aligned with Wander and is very worried that this is going to get out of something that she can keep herself and her team safe in.
Nick: Gwendolyn has shoved Wander back. They're probably about four feet apart, five feet apart right now, and you can see a little trickle of blood coming down over Gwendolyn's armor, but she doesn't appear to be more than superficially harmed by it.
Kit: Birdie is going to take the chance of them being physically separated from one another to not necessarily put herself completely between the two, but dart over and put her back to Gwendolyn and face Wander to try and get them to back up from one another a little more, and she'll say,
Kit (as Birdie): Both of you need to stop right now. Personal little fights can't take precedence to what is happening to people out there. Wander I don't know what you're doing, but just stop.
Penn: Gwendolyn has not taken her eyes off of Wander, and now has both hands on her sword again.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): You're stepping into the wrong fight, Little Foundling.
Nick (as Wander): This fight was not something that I wanted.
Sydney (as Cassidy): It still doesn't have to happen. There's people running up the road towards us, and I don't think they're yours. Wander.
Nick (as Wander): Oh, they most certainly are not. And that is a very good point. Cassidy Shard.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We got better things to be doing than sitting here fighting. We could be controlling or leaving.
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Y'all are working for Opal, right? Is this part of Opal's plan? Are you just are you all trying to take over right now?
Penn: And Gwendolyn's eyes are darting back and forth as sweat perspirates on her face.
Kit (as Birdie): Those are people from where I grew up, Gwendolyn, getting hurt. People that came out for me. It's my fault that they're here. Stop trying to put this on us. None of us knew that this was going to happen.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We're here and Opal's fucking not. We're just the sacrificial lambs, I guess.
Nick (as Wander): That is how it would appear.
Nick: Can I get a Charm check or a Negotiation check from Birdie please? It's a collaborative check with Cassidy, so
Sydney: I have nothing to offer you. Can I give you a blue die?
Nick: Yes, you can take a blue die from Cassidy. It's red and two purples.
Kit: Okay, I'll be rolling three yellows, one blue, one red and two purples. One failure and two advantages.
Nick: Yeah, so she doesn't convince you, Gwendolyn. How are you going to react to this situation?
Penn (as Gwendolyn): Bullshit! Call them all off! Call them off now! I'm taking Wander in. There's no need for Opal to get involved. Call it all off and get out of here. Turn off the fucking chainsaw!
Penn: And she is going to take a decisive step forward and butt Birdie out of the way with the bottom of her sword as she approaches Wander.
Nick: And so the Patina is squaring off on this stage being approached by others as Gwendolyn attempts to arrest Wander, but we cut away to where Opal is holed up in her office. As her plan comes to fruition, she is perusing the contract she signed with Gwendolyn.
Cameron: Opal sets the contract down on the center of her desk and crosses her hands delicately before her and once again, has that sly smile on her face as her eyes fall to some of the language that Barnaby assisted in specifically adding to the contract calling out that no employees of Opal Corp would be present at the parade, knowing that her security forces don't work for Opal Corp. They're one of her subsidiaries. They're not technically employees of Opal Corp, therefore they're free to do what they want. She looks from the contract up in front of her desk, where we would traditionally see the Patina sitting in chairs, and instead, the chairs have been replaced with numerous screens with different images showing the riot on the parade route as chaos descends upon the city. She kind of gives a small, slightly disappointed shake of her head as her eyes fall to a screen that is showing the standoff that is happening currently on the stage between the First Sword, Wander, and surrounded by a sprinkling of Patina members and she says,
Cameron (as Opal): Take that Wander.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind