A peaceful date, some errands, and finding the last Foundling.
A peaceful date, some errands, and finding the last Foundling.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- Dripping (Zoom) » Dripping, Slow, A.wav by InspectorJ. Link & License.
- Which That Is This? (Long Version) by Doctor Turtle. Link & License.
- Labyrinth by Sergey Cheremisinov. Link & License.
- Endearing Curl by Blue Dot Sessions. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
- Our Website
- Twitter
- Join our Patreon
- Join our Discord
A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 9: Emotionally Fulfilled
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
There once was a podcast with mercs,
They had a big metal knight which had perks,
They wandered around,
And with fists they did pound,
To purge their own world of its jerks.
If that sounds like a podcast for you, congratulations, you’re in the right place. And if that didn’t just make you turn off today’s episode in disgust, consider backing our Patreon, which gives you access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards, though I don’t promise any more Sydney limericks. (Though there is the occasional Sydney kazoo.)
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 9: Emotionally Fulfilled. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Kit (as Birdie): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, the Patina sort of had a free for all couple of days. Everyone kind of had some time to themselves and I think Emma went to check out the X bike scene and met some funny mechanics? I think that's what she she mentioned the last time I saw her. Marathon went to the gym, and Cassidy got the coolest tattoo ever. And um, I wound up talking to Winifred and Janus and Vaus about um, family things. And it went well. I was really happy that that they talked again. Grief isn't an easy thing to go through alone. So I finally went to see the memorial for Zan and I and it was beautiful. I miss them a lot, but I think I'm ready to keep going forward.
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: The two weeks before the masquerade ball is passing quickly for the Patina. There are tailors to visit, plans to make, and relaxation to get in while they still have the chance, and Marathon and Cassidy find some time, just the two of them, to spend together and explore the city. Where do we find Marathon and Cassidy? What are they up to?
Penn: Marathon had planned out a low key date for her and Cassidy's first date out. They've just finished taking a soft tour of the Sasnak Aquarium that is one of the major marvels of the moving city and they've come outside the back doors of this aquarium to the Sasnak Botanical Gardens, a lesser known but still marvelous attraction. The evening has started to set in and it started to get just a little bit darker as the sun begins to set. It's pretty quiet in this botanical gardens and Marathon's crossing her fingers hoping that the picnic that she set up is already ready. And we see she's wearing a red velvet suit with high waisted bell bottoms and her white canvas shirt underneath it unbuttoned almost entirely down to her navel - there's only one button above her waist that is currently buttoned and instead of her normal shag that has started to overtake her head, she is finally started to embrace the slicked back look.
Penn (as Marathon): It's uh, just a little bit over this way Miss Cassidy. We're almost there. I tried to get ready.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Nah it's good, Marathon.
Sydney: As Cassidy is following Marathon's lead and they turn around the corner, her long flowy skirt swishes around her calves. She's wearing a cropped white blouse and a long bohemian style skirt with lots of earth tones and lace trim accents around the hems.
Penn (as Marathon): We're just around the corner here. I set us up in in a nice little greenhouse alcove.
Sydney (as Cassidy): When did you do this?
Penn (as Marathon): I, you know, I tried to put a lot of production value into this Miss Cassidy. You deserve a lot of production value, you know?
Sydney: Cassidy's cheeks are slightly tinged pink as she keeps following Marathon.
Penn: As they turn a corner of large trimmed bushes, this alcove becomes a little more apparent. There is a picnic blanket set up, a thick quilt made with a lot of different patchwork - looks like something that has been well loved, it must have been borrowed from someone. Surrounding the blanket there are little candles in glass enclosures that light up this nook on all ends but the entrance to this area. There are different types of flowers that have been collected and are growing here to showcase the variety of flora that Sasnak can maintain.
Penn (as Marathon): [stressing] Uh yeah. I just - I thought this would be a nice spot for you to check out with uh, I don't know, I've been checking stuff off my list and I know you like to check off flowers off your list wherever you go and I know we aren't really on the ground and that might might might be bothering you a little bit so I thought I'd bring bring you to the flowers that we have here.
Sydney (as Cassidy): This is really sweet Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): [slightly proud, still stressed] Yeah.
Sydney: Cassidy bends down to start looking at some of the of flowers that she doesn't recognize.
Penn: Marathon from behind one of the bushes pulls out a small picnic basket and starts to mention.
Penn (as Marathon): I've also got - I didn't pack us a full meal. We can have some more when we get back to to Vaus's, but I got some snacks. Um. I wasn't entirely sure your favorites. I tried to sneakily get them but but you know, the coyness? Yeah, but I got you I got you fruits. Um.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You could have just asked.
Penn (as Marathon): [lots of nervous energy] I just wanted to - I wanted this to be great surprise. You know, like, I don't know you - like a good surprise, but not an overwhelming surprise. I just wanted it to just be perfect, okay? Like [calming exhale], I hope you enjoy this.
Penn: And Marathon awkwardly gives a presentation stance to the area.
Sydney: Cassidy stands up and grabs Marathon's open hand and pulls her out of the presentation stance down to sit next to her on the blanket.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You don't have to worry about a Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Like your effort - your efforts are good. It's all, this is, this is lovely.
Penn: Marathon runs one of her hands through her hair.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, but [stammering] I am glad you enjoy so far. Um~. This is - I was- I was just, I was just a little nervous. I'm glad you like it. I'm glad you like it.
Penn: And Marathon starts to visibly relax a little bit.
Penn (as Marathon): Um, what was your favorite part of the aquarium, Miss Cassidy?
Sydney (as Cassidy): They had the big like glow in the dark lit tank with all the jellyfish was probably cool.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, yeah. That was sick.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You can just kind of sit there and get lost looking at them watching them, like drift around.
Penn (as Marathon): I know what you mean. Yeah.
Penn: The flicker of the candlelight starts to dance on their faces.
Sydney (as Cassidy): How many of these flowers have you, do you know? Have you seen? I know a few of them.
Penn (as Marathon): I recognize a few of them, but I can't name it. I was I was actually wondering if if maybe you had - I assume you have the brains to tell me some about some more of these flowers.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, I can teach you a few. So this one,
Sydney: And Cassidy points. The flower has a cluster of dark bluish purplish little blossoms on it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): That's a bluebonnet. They grow east of Quirk far south from here, but they're pretty. They're all over the place in the spring in like March.
Penn (as Marathon): Cool. Yeah, I think I have seen those. What's that one?
Penn: And Marathon points to a elongated pink and white flower.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Um, I don't I don't think I recognize that one. I mean, it looks like it might be an orchid. I don't know. It's kind of similar shaped.
Sydney: And Cassidy leans over putting a hand off the blanket to look for a plaque in the dirt labeling it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Oh it's a lady slipper? [laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): Oh.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I guess that's - does it look like one?
Penn: Marathon tilts her head.
Penn (as Marathon): You know, it kinda does. Here.
Penn: And she scoots just a little closer so that she and Cassidy are shoulder to shoulder.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, you know, I think it does have that slipper look about it.
Sydney: Cassidy reaches out and very gently touches the side.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean it's not super slippery.
Penn (as Marathon): No~ like a, like a shoe. Like a slipper. Like the stories - unless you're unless you're given unless you're bit-ing me? Are you bit-ing me, Miss Cassidy?
Sydney: Cassidy is looking at Marathon mischievously.
Penn (as Marathon): Bah~.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, I might I might a little bit.
Penn (as Marathon): Got me. Well, I know you won't know this one over here.
Penn: And Marathon reaches over Cassidy to point to another flower that's petals twist up in two coils. It's green and tan.
Penn (as Marathon): This one's actually, I was when I was setting up here, somebody has helped me out just a little bit, this one's actually genetically spliced or something - they they made this one like from scratch.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well it's a Sasnak Special?
Penn (as Marathon): Well, I was asking if they had a name yet and they're still voting. Apparently the botanical club gets to vote on what they're going to call this one. I did suggest a vote.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Oh?
Penn (as Marathon): I put a name in the box. I don't think they're gonna pick it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, I will say that - I would guess that it's probably like the two people who were in charge of the lab that now are having some kind of political showdown and -
Penn (as Marathon): I'm sure.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - it's gonna be named like the Bob flower.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah they had a suggestion box. I did put in Cassidy's Coil.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [flattered laugh] Marathon.
Penn: And Marathon gives a little finger from her forehead to Cassidy's.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah. Flow- yeah. Yeah? Was that was that smooth, Miss Cassidy?
Sydney: Cassidy's cheeks are slightly pink again.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't think they need a flower named after me.
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, I don't think they need it but I think it would be a lot better the, you know, the botanical garden would be a lot cooler, a lot better for it.
Sydney: Cassidy looks around to try and find a fitting riposte.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay, what about what about that one?
Sydney: And she points to a flower with small almost teeth like looking blooms on it. And Marathon you see it just in time to see a fly land on it and watch the bloom close around the fly, catching it.
Penn (as Marathon): Hmm, that one's pretty cool. Wish - Do you know that one?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, that's the um, Marathon Maneater.
Penn (as Marathon): [surprised laugh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): It's a very, you know, commonly known - they name it the Marathon one because it runs too.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh it does, does it?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Mhm. Actually it's an ice derby playing flower.
Penn (as Marathon): What what other fun facts do you have about this flower, Miss Cassidy?
Penn: Marathon has leaned in pretty close to Cassidy.
Sydney: Cassidy is still looking at the flower and she bites her lip to think.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Um this flower sometimes uh, when th- when this flower manages to get away from its friends, and all of its its pollinators, uh, sometimes it changes colors.
Sydney: And Cassidy looks back and gestures to Marathon's suit and also notices close Marathon is.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Um and uh,
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, Miss Cassidy?
Sydney (as Cassidy): It has a, a specific um, one specific type of creature that it tries to attract.
Penn (as Marathon): Hmm, what kind of creature does it try to attract at that point, then?
Penn: A Marathon's starting to get a little smug smile.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't know one with curly red hair, probably a squirrel.
Penn (as Marathon): [laugh] Yeah, yeah. Something like that, I'm sure. Well, I'm sure the squirrel makes this plant want to be better, want to change its colors for the better, you know? To be more advantageous in the wild, of course.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Ah yes. Yes. It's all evolutionarily adaptive.
Penn (as Marathon): Mhm. But yeah, that well that's a very cool flower, Miss Cassidy. Uh, appreciate you - yeah, I think it's really cool that you thought it was cool, you know?
Sydney: Cassidy has looked back to Marathon and licks her dry lips.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, I know - there are things I know things about.
Penn (as Marathon): You do know a lot of things, Miss Cassidy.
Penn: There is a anticipatory energy between the two of them with a lot of eye contact.
Penn (as Marathon): Um, Miss Cassidy, I hope this isn't too forward, but would you be alright if I gave you a little kiss?
Sydney (as Cassidy): [breathy] Sure.
Penn: And Marathon slides one hand onto Cassidy's cheek as if her hand was already guiding itself there and gives Cassidy a soft peck for maybe just over three seconds, but it's hard to count when you're in the moment like that, and Marathon pulls away.
Penn (as Marathon): I hope that was all right, Miss Cassidy.
Penn: The look on her face is as if she's trying to tamper down a wild amusement.
Sydney: Cassidy's cheeks are now a deep red, and she nods and then reaches forward to return the kiss back to Marathon.
Penn: As Marathon catches herself with one of her back hands, she finds herself a little surprised before leaning back in and bringing her other hand back onto Cassidy's cheek.
Sydney: Several seconds later, Cassidy pulls away from Marathon almost surprised at herself, and then looks at Marathon, biting her lip.
Penn: Marathon, as Cassidy pulls herself away, lets her hand drift down Cassidy's cheek before going back to push her hair back out of her face.
Penn (as Marathon): [bashful laugh] Hi, Miss Cassidy.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Hi Marathon. So you said there were snacks?
Penn (as Marathon): [brain restarting] Oh, yeah, yes, yes. Yes, I packed fruit because I thought that would be an appropriate date snack.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Makes sense.
Penn: And she reaches far behind, her trying not to break eye contact, and her arms stumbling a little as she grabs the picnic basket and pulls that between them and starts to pull out little skewers of fruit.
Penn (as Marathon): You prefer kiwi or strawberry?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Strawberry.
Penn (as Marathon): Here you go. I got the strawberry mix skewer coming right up.
Sydney: As Marathon is pulling it out of the basket to hand it to Cassidy, Cassidy snatches it from Marathon's fingers before any sharp objects get towards her face in Marathon's hands and then takes a slow bite of the strawberry looking at Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Now, I would be mildly hurt that you didn't trust me but the sharp object, but you look great eating fruit, Miss Cassidy. [laugh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well thank you, Marathon.
Penn: And Marathon reaches down into the basket to pull up a skewer with green fruits topped with a kiwi.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Good job being sneaky so that the other two weren't here.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, you know, I I tried to be as sure as possible, but they could be snickering behind the bushes.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, at least they're quiet.
Sydney: And Cassidy gives a quick scan and then flicks off an innocent looking tree that had enough space to conceal something.
Sydney (as Cassidy): There. If they're there, it's - they know what they did.
Penn (as Marathon): Mhm. And they shouldn't be sneaking on this, you know? Cheers, Miss Cassidy.
Penn: And Marathon holds her skewer over the basket but not too close to Cassidy, trying to keep the pointy end not pointing towards her.
Sydney: Cassidy cheers with her half eaten skewer of strawberry.
Penn (as Marathon): To a peaceful date.
Sydney (as Cassidy): To a peaceful date.
Nick: So we leave Marathon and Cassidy to their date in the Botanic Gardens having a quiet picnic, and we see the rest of the conspirators of Sasnak. Emma and Vaus have departed on an errand. We see them walking through Merchant Alley carrying shopping bags and stop in front of a shop, a quick signed conversation, and they turn and enter the store and we see that it's a tattoo parlor. And we also see Winifred, Birdie, and Janus entering a section of the Guts looking to recruit their last conspirator.
Cameron (as Janus): I'm glad I changed shoes.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Winifred): Why does Juno live down here?
Kit (as Birdie): Wait, he lives down here?
Cameron (as Janus): They don't. They're just - they still do a lot of jobs down here. I don't know. They split their time, like 50/50 between like the really fancy domes and the Guts.
Sydney (as Winifred): Mm.
Cameron (as Janus): I think it's because of all the octopus.
Sydney (as Winifred): Ah that makes sense.
Kit (as Birdie): Ugh. This is really gross.
Sydney (as Winifred): So are we going into like the lair of the octopus, then?
Cameron (as Janus): No.
Kit (as Birdie): Ugh.
Cameron (as Janus): No, he's he's got like an office.
Sydney (as Winifred): Okay, good.
Kit (as Birdie): What's -
Cameron (as Janus): I I - don't ask me questions. It's Juno, okay?
Kit (as Birdie): I'm not - I'm not asking you questions. It's questions to like the ether.
Cameron (as Janus): Oh okay. Fair.
Kit (as Birdie): Like this is -
Cameron (as Janus): Fair.
Sydney (as Winifred): Rhetorical.
Cameron (as Janus): Fair.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Winifred): Sasnak, why is Juno this way?
Cameron (as Janus): [tired twin sigh] That is - that is a question that no one can answer.
Kit (as Birdie): I don't know if I want to talk to the city.
Kit: Are the walkways we're going through right now cramped at all? Or is it like a pretty open walking space.
Nick: So the three of you are heading into the Guts. There are main walking areas where not a vast population of the public goes but it's not unheard of to visit, and you're walking through some of the more traveled thoroughfares but quickly Janus turns down a narrow corridor where you're forced to walk single file as you approach wherever Juno is holed up.
Kit (as Birdie): [tiny voice] Can we go through this part faster. Sorry.
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. It's real close. It's just as just a little bit further, but yes, I will hustle.
Kit: Birdie is condensed into herself and is very obviously uncomfortable.
Sydney: Winifred gives Birdie a comforting squeeze on the shoulder.
Kit (as Birdie): [quiet] Thanks.
Sydney (as Winifred): So does Juno know that Birdie's not dead?
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm. Yes, they do.
Sydney (as Winifred): Okay, good.
Cameron (as Janus): Do they remember? That is the better question, Winifred.
Kit (as Birdie): [soft laugh]
Sydney (as Winifred): Well I sure hope so it's kind of important.
Cameron (as Janus): Yes, but also wasn't immediately something that needed to be dealt with, thus [laugh]
Sydney (as Winifred): What luxury to be able to ignore it.
Cameron (as Janus): I don't know if it's ignoring as much as hyper focusing.
Sydney (as Winifred): Yeah.
Nick: You come to the end of this narrow corridor and find yourself in a room that is roughly 15 by 15 feet. It is dark, lit only by a overhead light bulb in a metal cage that casts strange shadows. There is a metal table that is missing a leg that has been propped up with a stack of moldering books and seated at a partially decomposed desk chair is an octopus with half of its legs sprawled across the desk.
Kit (as Birdie): [implied shudder] Oh.
Cameron (as Janus): [calling out] Knock knock~.
Nick: The octopuses eyes shift laconically to you all as you enter the room, and it makes a squelching noise as it pulls itself further up onto the desk looking at you curiously.
Cameron (as Janus): Yes hello to you too, Biscuits.
Sydney (as Winifred): Juno did you accomplish your mission to turn into an octopus?
Nick: From behind you you hear a voice as Juno apparently was following you for a while down this thin hallway.
Nick (as Juno): No, I'm not an octopus yet. That's just Biscuits. They like to keep my seat warm while I'm gone, [talking to dog voice] don't you?
Nick: And Juno pushes his way through the three of you and does the equivalent of grabbing and shaking a cheek but on an octopus it's more of a squelchy deformation. And you get a look at Juno. Birdie. You haven't seen him since you were ejected from Sasnak. He looks very similar to how you saw him last. He's grown out what used to be a buzz cut into a severe undercut - buzzed on the sides, long on the top and slicked back. He has a narrow face smudged with grease. Juno used to have rounded cheeks and still some baby fat even though he was in his mid 20s when you saw them last but they have clearly matured and become more angular as time has passed. It looks like they've been doing some hard living and not been as comfortable and food hasn't been as available to them. They are still wearing a mechanic jumpsuit with a stained lab coat over it. They have a line of piercings along their left ear and the same eyes as Janus and they turn around and lean back against the desk and regard the three of you.
Nick (as Juno): Hey Birdie you're not dead. Good job.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. Yeah, nope. I'm here. It's good to see you.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah. It's been a while. Janus it's been a while, right?
Cameron (as Janus): [said on a sigh] Seven years, Juno.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah~. Huh. Time is a flat circle. So I'll kind of a- who are you? [pause] Oh, Winifed!? My god!
Cameron (as Janus): Oh my gosh.
Kit (as Birdie): [giggling]
Sydney (as Winifred): You don't remember me either?
Cameron (as Janus): Holy shit, Juno. [laugh]
Nick (as Juno): Well, I mean, at least Birdie had the excuse of almost dying, Winifred it's been forever. You look like, how- white picket fence-y. Like, emotionally fulfilled.
Cameron (as Janus): [laugh]
Nick (as Juno): It's weird.
Kit (as Birdie): [laugh]
Sydney (as Winifred): Sorry, it must be the white picket fence.
Kit (as Birdie): It's really cute. You should go and see it Juno.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah~ I can -
Kit (as Birdie): The white picket fence and the baby.
Nick (as Juno): [laugh]
Sydney (as Winifred): Oh and there's a baby.
Nick (as Juno): Little little tiny, tiny human. Nah, I got I got enough octopus. Should be fine.
Sydney (as Winifred): Yeah, you can see Janus' kids, too.
Cameron (as Janus): [sigh] Mhm.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, I've seen Janus' kids. I go over for dinner. Like, -
Cameron (as Janus): Mhm.
Nick (as Juno): - you know, Janus always says that you're going to go but I figured like maybe you were dead. I don't know. I haven't seen in a long time. It's been weird.
Kit (as Birdie): [awkward shudder exhale]
Cameron: Janus shoots and apologetic look towards Winifred.
Sydney: Winifred gives a wave.
Sydney (as Winifred): Well, I'm not dead.
Nick (as Juno): So are we done being all like estranged and dramatic now that we're all back together? Are we like going back - I can't move back into the container. I've kind of got my own thing going on. But like,
Kit (as Birdie): No...
Nick (as Juno): We doing the family thing again?
Kit (as Birdie): No one's moving back into the container.
Nick (as Juno): Vaus -Vaus spends a lot of time there.
Cameron (as Janus): Well, except for Birdie. That's where she's staying right now.
Kit (as Birdie): Temporarily.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah. No requirement for you to move.
Nick (as Juno): Okay, cool.
Nick: Juno holds an arm back and Biscuits the octopus starts to shlurp its way up his arm and sits on his head, mussing his hair.
Kit (as Birdie): Ugh.
Nick: And you can just see the arms undulating wetly.
Kit (as Birdie): [shudder noise] Is that a new Biscuits or is this the same one?
Nick (as Juno): Um. There's only ever one Biscuits,
Cameron (as Janus): But this is three? iterations of Biscuit -
Kit (as Birdie): What??
Cameron (as Janus): - later.
Nick: Juno lifts his hands up and put them on either side of the octopuses head and says,
Nick (as Juno): Octopuses don't live that long.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh~.
Nick (as Juno): But this Biscuits is more of a state of being, an emotional attachment and Biscuits is good. It's a good octopus. We're besties.
Kit (as Birdie): Sure, yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): This one does seem weirdly better trained. I'm not sure how exactly.
Sydney (as Winifred): Is it the octopus or your training skills because I know you've been bit multiple times and so have all of us.
Cameron (as Janus): I believe it is the octopus.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Nick (as Juno): Look, we're not here to talk about like octopus behavioral proclivities. You're in my office. Welcome to Juno Incorporated. I can only imagine that you're here because you need something from me, otherwise we could have waited till family dinner or whatever, so what's up? What do you need?
Cameron (as Janus): Maybe Birdie just wanted to see you.
Nick (as Juno): Birdie, did you just want to see me?
Kit (as Birdie): You're really too good at this still Juno. Yeah we wanted to talk to you about something but I did still want to see you. I did really want to see you. And
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, it's just the operative word being 'just' - you you all tend to multitask.
Nick: And they smile baring their teeth at you all.
Kit (as Birdie): [fond sigh]
Kit: Birdie will take a couple of steps forward and strategically move her head a little bit away from Juno's to avoid the octopus, but will wrap her arms around Juno and give them a tight squeeze.
Nick: Juno hugs back. Birdie you are surprised by how easily, even through multiple layers of clothes, you can feel their bones sticking out in various directions. They're very thin. And then you feel a slimy tendril rest on the back of your neck from the octopus.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, nevermind. Yeah. Okay, glad we got a sibling hug. Woohoo!
Kit: And Birdie will take the tentacle off of the back of her neck with two fingers and backup.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, yeah, sorry about that.
Nick: And with a shlurpy pop, Juno pulls the octopus off the top of his head -
Kit (as Birdie): [relieved sigh]
Nick: - and sets it on the desk and pulls out of a pocket a fish that looks like it's decomposed a little bit and tosses it on the desk behind them and says
Nick (as Juno): There's lunch. Eat up Biscuits.
Kit (as Birdie): [shudder] Let's talk about what we're here for now. I've seen enough of the octopus.
Sydney (as Winifred): Doesn't smell great, no.
Kit (as Birdie): That was in your pocket. [grossed out mumbling]
Cameron (as Janus): All right. Winifred - you're the mastermind of this operation. Take it away.
Sydney (as Winifred): [sigh] Well, before we do business right away, I mean, Birdie hasn't seen you in seven years. What are you up to? I ask for Birdie's benefit, because I have an idea.
Nick (as Juno): Oh uh~, running Juno Enterprises, Inc, the corporation and training octopuses. Let's see... uh doing Guts repairs - it's good to stay in with the Drain Boyz because they have good rates on parts and who knows what they'll find. It's a good -
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm.
Nick (as Juno): The kids they hire to work through this the small areas see all sorts of things that's good to know. And then uh making really good money repairing Domes and being a security adviser up there. So
Kit (as Birdie): A security adviser?
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, like you know, like fixing their their hardware and their infrastructure and making sure that the unwanted people can't get into the Domes unless they have enough money to pay for the front door.
Kit (as Birdie): [distressed noise]
Sydney: The corner of Winifred's lip has turned down slightly.
Kit (as Birdie): You're working on the Domes, but you're still living down - like well working down here?
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, I~ - it's useful to be involved with both. I don't think either side really gets what I'm doing and that's okay. You know me; I am an enigma.
Nick: And he wiggles his fingers.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, just I thought that we kind of, I don't know, maybe things have changed over the last couple of years and I get that work as work but - we were always really against working with the Domes.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, yeah, I'm uh - Janus will tell you, I'm a hypocrite, turns out.
Cameron (as Janus): [laugh] Yeah Juno just has a wealth of knowledge for what security things need to get patched up because they know how I got past them growing up. So
Nick (as Juno): Yeah I've been spending a lot of time plugging holes, making sure nobody else can, you know,
Cameron (as Janus): [sigh]
Nick (as Juno): - take advantage of the rich people and their magnanimity.
Cameron (as Janus): [annoyed in thief] Mhm.
Kit: Birdie's face has gotten a certain look of slight betrayal and looks down and twists the toe for boot into the metal ground underneath them.
Kit (as Birdie): Um, yeah. Uh.
Sydney (as Winifred): Yeah, no reason to benefit the city when we can benefit the rich people.
Kit (as Birdie): St- or, you know, make it - I don't know. That's - I - anyways, it's - money's money. I get it. I've done work I don't like.
Nick: Juno's eyes have gotten a little harder as he sees the judgment from the Foundlings and
Nick (as Juno): Look, I have my reasons. Okay?
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. As you said, I have done work that I don't like doing either. It's how it is.
Cameron: Janus is just good naturedly rolling her eyes.
Nick: Juno claps and rubs his hands together and says,
Nick (as Juno): Anyway, we could skip through all that - you son of a bitch I'm in. What do you need?
Sydney (as Winifred): Well, it turns out we need to poke a hole in some rich people security.
Nick (as Juno): Hmmmmm.
Cameron (as Janus): [twin mocking] Hmm.
Nick (as Juno): What's the cut?
Sydney (as Winifred): Well, you're already in.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah. Yeah you're asking your questions in the wrong order, Juno.
Sydney (as Winifred): It's too late now, Juno.
Nick (as Juno): No, but I mean, like you - clearly were doing something to get payment right? And that's risking a lot of contracts if I were to get caught, so like you're paying for stealing.
Cameron (as Janus): Yeah but you're - you're not gonna get caught because you're not gonna be there and it's gonna be me and I'm not gonna get caught.
Sydney (as Winifred): We just need a jammer to get past some vent security. Too much active sonar and thermals and everything.
Nick (as Juno): Hm. Yeah, I can make that happen for old times sake. You judge the hell out of me until you need something, huh?
Kit (as Birdie): I -
Cameron (as Janus): The only reason I'm judging the hell out of you is because you're not eating.
Nick (as Juno): Oh not you Janus. We're good.
Cameron (as Janus): We'll be good if you eat something.
Kit (as Birdie): Neither Winifred nor I knew until just now.
Nick (as Juno): Well, you were dead and Winifred was in intense grief ridden denial, so I don't really see how finding out my life decisions is really any reason to judge me that hard. You don't know everything going on. You've never really known everything going on.
Kit: Birdie's face sort of clams up and she runs her tongue over her teeth and nods.
Cameron: Janus walks over to Birdie and throws an arm up around her shoulder - it's a little awkward since she's shorter than Birdie.
Cameron (as Janus): Well, you gotta remember Birdie, Juno's an enigma.
Nick (as Juno): I'm an enigma.
Nick: And he smiles real big, the seriousness forgotten.
Cameron (as Janus): They're not for us mere mortals to understand.
Sydney (as Winifred): Of course not.
Nick (as Juno): The only one who gets it is Biscuits.
Cameron (as Janus): Yep.
Nick (as Juno): Either way.
Sydney (as Winifred): There's actually only been one Biscuits and you hide that you you say you change them out but Biscuits has been immortal and is with you forever.
Cameron (as Janus): That's why they understand!
Sydney (as Winifred): Yeah.
Cameron (as Janus): [as if it all makes sense now] Oh~.
Nick: Juno's brow furrows.
Nick (as Juno): A magician never reveals their secrets. Look, uh this got kind of weird and intense. I I'm kind of weird and intense.
Cameron (as Janus): [le gasp] What?
Nick (as Juno): Sorry. [directed at Janus] Oh hush you.
Cameron (as Janus): [giggle]
Nick (as Juno): Winifred if you could just get me the specs on exactly where you're trying to go in the vents I'll make sure that you get a nice little box that will get you through whatever security you need to get through.
Sydney (as Winifred): Yep, I'll send it to you.
Nick (as Juno): Great. And I will make sure Janus has it. And we should~ we should get back together sometime, huh? Like now that everybody's here and back. It's like one big family and it might be beneficial.
Sydney (as Winifred): Family dinner.
Cameron (as Janus): We've peer pressured Winifred into coming to dinner.
Sydney (as Winifred): Yeah, sounds like -
Nick (as Juno): Ho-ly shit.
Sydney (as Winifred): I gotta go make faces of the kids.
Kit (as Birdie): It was a group effort.
Nick (as Juno): Who did that? Was that you Janus? Did you finally get over it?
Cameron (as Janus): Okay, it was it was a group effort.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, Birdie. Birdie good job. I'm glad you're back. I really am.
Cameron (as Janus): Vaus didn't contribute much, but they were there.
Kit (as Birdie): [laugh]
Nick (as Juno): Vaus contributes so much through their aura of love and understanding. They're really the best of us I think.
Sydney (as Winifred): [overlapping] Well let me know when you see them.
Cameron (as Janus): [overlapping] That is true.
Nick (as Juno): All right. I will make you a gadget. I don't want to be associated with the crimes because I've got my own thing going on. So
Sydney (as Winifred): Yeah you mentioned.
Cameron (as Janus): If anything goes wonky I'll glitch out.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, be careful with that.
Cameron (as Janus): It's fine.
Nick (as Juno): Mmm. Defies the laws of physics.
Sydney (as Winifred): If her glitch glitches then I'll pull her out of there.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, glitches get stitches. Haha.
Cameron (as Janus): Um~. I don't know.
Nick (as Juno): All right. When you all leave, can you make sure you're not followed and that no one observes our association. I will use the proper back channels to get you the gadgets you need and I will provide an invoice at a later date. You can owe me a favor. I'm very happy that you're all back. I will see you it family dinner.
Cameron (as Janus): By the 'back channels', do you mean you're going to bring it to family dinner?
Nick (as Juno): I mean, yeah, I could do that. I was going to like do a dead drop and -
Cameron (as Janus): Let's not do that. Just bring it to dinner because -
Nick (as Juno): [Janus never lets me be a cool spy sigh]
Cameron (as Janus): - that seems way less risky and also who is going to follow us out of your office Juno?
Nick (as Juno): Well not out of the office, but you have to make it back to the upper level. I'm imagining you're not staying in the Guts and I don't really want the Drain Boyz selling the information of who I have coming in going.
Cameron (as Janus): [annoyed sigh]
Nick (as Juno): Look, operational security is very important. Winifred understands this.
Cameron (as Janus):
Oh, no, your sisters came and visited you.
Sydney (as Winifred):
Yeah, but one of them's -
Cameron (as Janus): Oh, no!
Sydney (as Winifred): As it turns out, the cameras went down on our way out. I don't know how that happened, but no one saw us leave.
Cameron (as Janus): Weird.
Nick (as Juno): Hey~! I've always missed that convenience. Yeah uh, Birdie - do me a favor and don't die.
Kit (as Birdie): I will do my best.
Nick (as Juno): I was sad.
Kit (as Birdie): I know. I know.
Nick (as Juno): Look that's a big deal for me to admit, okay? I'm glad that you're here. And Winifred I'm giving you a hard time because I don't know how to express my joy at our renewed relationship. And Janus - Shut up.
Cameron: Janus has her hands crossed over her upper chest and is just like looking proud mom at Juno expressing their feelings.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, that reminds me.
Nick: And Juno dives behind his table and you hear rummaging in a box and he pulls out two action figures that look like they're shoved together and welded out of bits of metal and bobs, but they're articulated and very loose and floppy. And they look like x bikes riders, and he hands them to Janus very quickly. He's a flurry of motion and is also seemingly unconsciously brushing octopus tentacles away as he walks around the desk so he doesn't get stuck to Biscuits. He says
Nick (as Juno): These are for the kids. I said I would bring them some stuff. They deserve the best, so make sure the kiddos get that please.
Cameron (as Janus): Thank you. I shall pass it on. Do y'all want to do a non octopus interrupted hug?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Sydney (as Winifred): Sure.
Cameron (as Janus): We could do like a group hug!
Kit (as Birdie): And we could put Biscuits...
Cameron (as Janus): Not in the hug? [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): Please.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah Biscuits is on the table. It will probably stay there. Just don't make eye contact - they consider that a territorial threat.
Nick: And then Juno holds his arms out really wide and waits for the sisters to come in.
Cameron: Everybody piles in.
Kit: Birdie has her arms around Juno and Janus and is giggling that at least Janus is now the shortest of them.
Cameron: She wouldn't be if she didn't have to change out of her shoes to come down here.
Nick: And the Foundlings newly reunited, share a hug, setting aside whatever actions they may have done in the past and enjoying each other's company before they take their next big risk.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind