The Patina scopes out the bandit camp and attempts a daring rescue.
The Patina scopes out the bandit camp and attempts a daring rescue.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She also edits the show. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support at Patreon.com/TabletopSquadron.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- natural area - central european - upland forest [4CH surround sound] » campfire in the woods front by craftcrest.Link & License.
- A Tree Falling Down.wav by ecfike. Link & License.
- Centerfire_Rifle_Gun_Shot_01.wav by MATRIXXX_. Link & License.
- Blasts » ExplosionBombBlastAmbient2.wav by zimbot. Link & License.
- Hitting baseball w. wooden bat.wav by CGEffex. Link & License.
- FORD LTL 9000_engine start and idle.wav by Broken_Head_Productions. Link & License.
- Great Horned Owls by TheNaturalWorld. Link & License. Molotov Cocktail/Fiery Explosion by SilverIllusionist. Link & License.
- "Flag of No Country" by Julia Kent. Link & License.
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
- Our Website
- Join our Patreon
- Join our Discord
A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Episode 33: Deliver the Mail
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
We’ve got some great news to share this week, all thanks to you, our loyal listeners. The Audioverse winners were finally announced, and we took home a win in all three categories we were nominated for! A Knight of Shreds and Patches won New Improvised Production. Nick, for his wonderful GM work won Player Direction of a New Production. And Rhi, our dearly beloved Pallie Fisher, won Player in a New Production!
And while we’re thanking all our supporters, it’s a great opportunity to give a shoutout to our lovely patrons that have already backed the show! These good, good humans are: Nikolas, Jorien Hattink, Chris Russell, Barak, Jackie, Anthony S., Bob Hopp, and Waels R. Bigg. If you want to join their noble ranks, and get access to some fun bonus content, including a new bonus episode featuring a scene set before the Patina’s main story kicked off, check out the link in the show notes.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into episode 33: Deliver the Mail. And so...
Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
Cameron (as Emma): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, we arrived in the town of Grapes and we met a great guy named Dale, um who was kind of leading the reconstruction efforts after their town had been attacked by bandits. And very succinctly found out from Dale that Ananda is not here and he was the one person in town who was kidnapped by the bandits, so the person we need to deliver the package to isn't here. So after eventually escaping Dale, we synched up and I think we're gonna go rescue him.
Nick: We open on a scouting mission in progress. The three of you have made your way to the enemy camp and are assessing the challenges ahead. Where do we find you and what do you see?
Sydney: Cassidy is up in a tree. She picked an evergreen where she's got some cover from the ground, and she's inched forward out on the top of one of the higher branches that looked stable enough to hold her and is looking through her spyglass at the camp that, in theory, holds the person who they have a package for.
Nick: So you're up in a vantage point that not many people would ever have. What's something that jumps out at you about this camp that no one else would notice?
Sydney: The thing that is able to be seen uniquely from this high up vantage point is that the paths that have been worn in the dirt are pretty established now, the plants have been trampled enough that they're starting to thin out. Even though everything is still tense, except for a small ramshackle outhouse on the edge of the encampment, they've been here for a fair bit, but it's still not a settlement in a place that someone would may be happy to live like it's a temporary thing that just didn't get left.
Nick: You can see that the bandits have cook fires, but that they're more established. They're surrounded by stones and have metal racking to hold pots of food. It really looks like a temporary settlement that has just gotten more comfortable over time through lack of movement.
Kit: Birdie can't climb really well, so I'd say that she in order to keep up communication would probably be with Emma or at least somewhat near so that if something happened, they would be able to communicate decently easily. She's changed into a more pragmatic outfit with a tactical looking vest and sturdy pants and boots so that she can also blend in with the woods that are darker greens and browns.
Cameron: So here's the thing, I think Emma happily sent Cassidy off to go do the scouting by herself.
Sydney: Cassidy happily went off to go do the scouting by herself.
Cameron: Emma is aware that this is one of Cassidy's peak skill sets, she's way better at it than she would ever be, so she's just gonna let Cassidy handle it. Cassidy will tell us whatever is important and Emma has remained at the rig and is oiling all of the joints on the Exo-suit so that it does not creak with the grit that's gotten in it from the several days of road travel.
Nick: So Birdie, you're prepared to go and see what you can find out about this camp and you see Emma clearly not planning on going anywhere. Do you stay to keep her company? Do you decide to set off on your own to see if you can contribute? What's your plan?
Kit: Birdie is going to turn to Emma and she's going to kind of hook her thumb at the camp and just go
Kit (as Birdie): I'm gonna go try and see if I can do some more mobile scouting. I think Cassidy is in a tree.
Cameron (as Emma): That would not surprise me.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, um, do you guys communicate um over distances? Do you guys you - do that? I'm gonna -
Cameron (as Emma): Oh, yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): Good thinking.
Cameron: Emma takes her necklace radio off and tosses it to Birdie.
Kit: Birdie catches it.
Nick: Birdie, you're struck by the nonchalance of this, because portable radios are extremely rare. They're expensive.
Cameron: And this is a tiny one.
Nick: Yeah, this is one that is very small, is clearly in good condition. You know, if you sold this to the right person, you could probably live comfortably for six to eight months. And this girl who's about the same age as you while distracted just handed you a small fortune. That level of trust you haven't seen in a long time.
Cameron: And not even handed, she threw it.
Kit: Birdie did catch it with some urgency. She went a little wide-eyed at seeing that it was not just a normal - it didn't strike her as a radio at first I think, because she hasn't really seen very many of these. And so she just sort of hesitates and then puts it on and is just like,
Kit (as Birdie): Thanks. Um...
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, if you if you press that button, you should be able to reach both of us. Cassidy should have hers turned on.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. Yeah. Cool. I'll be back soon, then.
Cameron (as Emma): Alright, stay safe.
Cameron: Emma's very distracted. Emma has gotten into the cleaning mode to try to get this running as smoothly and silently as possible and is just trusting everyone else to take care of all of the actual figuring out what this situation looks like that we're about to go into.
Nick: So Birdie, your goal now that you're in communication was to try to get a different view of this camp. How do you go about it?
Kit: So Birdie after shaking her head a few times to be less dumbfounded at the interaction she just had with Emma. She keeps a good distance from the camp itself in order to lower the risk of being seen until she can get closer after a few minutes of staking out and just seeing if there's any bustle going around. If there's any people coming in or coming out or moving around, especially much.
Sydney: What side does she come from? Does she come from like behind or across from where Cassidy is?
Kit: I'd say since Cassidy is in a more stagnant place, she's going to try and come from a different approach across from Cassidy.
Nick: Birdie, you find yourself moving very slowly through the underbrush, being very careful where to set your arms and legs, belly to the dirt, and you hear the voice of one of your siblings, Janus, saying 'slow is smooth and smooth is fast' as you move closer to this camp. You know, nobody has seen you. At least nobody from the camp. Cassidy, you see Birdie inching her way towards the outskirts of this camp, trying to get a better view. So what I'm picturing is that you all talked about scouting, and you were so eager to get a view before this time goes by that you said, Okay, we're going to scout and Birdie said something like, yeah, I can help and you were just fixated on other stuff and Emma was like, yeah, yeah yeah, go and so this is sort of the side effects of y'all doing a quick break without talking through every aspect of the plan.
Sydney: Mhmm. Cassidy whispers not well, talks that low vocalization that's just enough to carry through a radio without turning to the whisper that gets lost sometimes. And just goes,
Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] Welcome to the camp, Birdie.
Kit (as Birdie): [over radio] Glad to be here. Cassidy.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] Emma not coming this time?
Kit (as Birdie): [over radio] I think she's planning on staying by the rig as far as I can tell.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] Probably fine. There's stuff to get in shape, I think.
Nick: And Birdie, as you're having this conversation with Cassidy keeping your voice low in a way that feels very natural, what is something that jumps out at you about this camp?
Kit: A lot of the tents are beaten up in certain places, not necessarily, like ruined, but they have patches where there needs to be or things have been substituted where they've needed it, like a tent pole has been swapped out with a stick here or there. But there is one or two tents that are significantly nicer. They look newer, but not in a way that they look brand new, but just as if they haven't taken as much damage or these were the nicer tents to begin with. And they look to be where the more important members of the group would be. If she could guess.
Nick: You spend some time, Cassidy and Birdie, looking at this camp. Things have clearly been built up over the time that they've been here but there's very little that you would describe as in good repair. A few things jump out at you. It's early evening, cook fires are currently lighting large portions of this camp. You can see more people than you're probably comfortable with wandering around. There's clearly a hierarchy. Birdie, just from your low angle, you see 10 to 15 different people walk by at various points as they set about preparing for the night. Cassidy you see 20, maybe 25, and you know there's more in the tents. The other thing that you see is that around the edge of this tent, there are metal stakes the size of a person driven deep into the dirt, and there's barbed wire strung in a nasty looking fence around a majority of this camp. That could cause a problem.
The next thing we see is these three would be rescuers gathered by the rig. Emma is still doing last minute maintenance, Birdie and Cassidy make it back at about the same time. Cassidy has further to go and has to go down a tree but Birdie needs to move slowly and carefully. And the three of you have a moment to make a plan for this assault, this robbery. This mission.
Sydney: Cassidy's got out a piece of paper that she was sketching the camp from above. She was up there for a fair bit but it's a good detailed sketch of the layout of the tents and the gaps in the barbed wire that the bandits can come and go through. Even a couple of marks of paths or spots where the guys that looked like they're patrolling were, as opposed to the ones that are just sitting and eating or sleeping. And yeah, so Cassidy has got the map there. It's probably done in the back of the rig by one of the workbench lights so that the light is clear, and there's no drifting shadows to muddy any of the pathways, but she walks through the basic layout of the camp, explaining it to Emma.
Kit: I think Birdie since she does know that this isn't really her mission as much, she does, let Cassidy takes a lead. And if there was anything that Cassidy didn't cover that she saw, which I don't think there would have been because Cassidy did have the better vantage point, she would have cut in or supplemented.
Sydney: So then probably just at the end of briefing, Cassidy looks at Birdie and goes
Sydney (as Cassidy): Anything I missed?
Kit: Birdie chimes in and it's a pretty little thing, but she just says,
Kit (as Birdie): Uh no, not really. I mean, the only thing I guess that I could see was, the guards didn't seem like they would be expecting someone necessarily, because I think a lot of the town's people are pretty afraid of them and they don't really think that a direct attack could be coming. So that might work to our advantage. I mean, they were talking about how bad the food is. Apparently this one guy cooks and he's just really bad at it and he cooked tonight. It was just really bad. So...
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well maybe they'll be you know, throwing up outside the fence [Birdie laughing] instead of fighting us.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, they can always hope for food poisoning.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [sigh] So you guys still want to just go smashing in and just take our neighborhood clockmaker right out of the middle, because that's a lot of dudes to try and flatten their camp.
Cameron: While Cassidy and Birdie have been having this discussion, Emma, while paying attention to them, has been donning her armored vest and gauntlets for the combat rig. And I think she finishes closing the gauntlets and they shink together as Cassidy asked this question, and I think that sound answers it.
Kit (as Birdie): I mean, there's not really other ways to do it as far as I can see. So -
Sydney (as Cassidy): It'd be hard to sneak in.
Cameron (as Emma): Which tent do we think uh, Ananda is in?
Sydney: Cassidy points to one of the slightly nicer ones.
Sydney (as Cassidy): This one they weren't coming in and out of so I don't think it was an active barracks tent. Every other one had someone enter or exit at least once, and that includes that tent,
Sydney: And Cassidy points to a different one.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - which was a supply tent, because I got an angle on it. But I would give it 90% that he's in here. Who knows? Maybe they're, you know, [sigh] interrogating him or something, but I think if their goal is to leave him to do whatever science work they're trying to pressure him into, that's probably the one.
Cameron (as Emma): All right. So if I'm in the suit, and you're up high - Birdie, do you want to go in and get him?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. I can do that.
Cameron (as Emma): I don't think that I'm going to be that effective doing that, but I can very much provide a distraction for you to get over there.
Kit (as Birdie): Yep, I can also kind of provide some sort of distraction, maybe distract them in two ways instead of just one. So yeah, I can run in and do the grabbing.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Last chance to uh, not be involved in this fight.
Kit (as Birdie): Well, you'll find that I'm particularly meddling so I think I'm not going to back out at this point.
Nick: Birdie, are you doing runners stretches getting ready for this while you're having the conversation?
Kit: Birdie looks up at Cassidy while doing that leg stretch where you're holding your ankle running in place a little bit. You got to hype yourself up.
Sydney: So Cassidy takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, breathes in and out.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [deep breath]
Sydney: And then opens up again and just nods decisively and goes
Sydney (as Cassidy): All right, well, let's get to it then. Everyone's got radios?
Kit (as Birdie): Yep.
Cameron (as Emma): I will in a minute.
Nick: And we cut away. We get one last moment of peace in this bandit camp. People are settling down to eat dinner. The bandits who have been set to watch are chatting quietly staring into the progressing night.
Cameron: The camera remains on these bandits as they're chatting and eating dinner and then they slowly start to realize that it has gotten very quiet. All of the night time forest creatures have ceased their hooting or whatever other noises they were making, and all you hear at this point is the crackling of their fire, their companions, and the wind through the trees - and right as that's dawning on them, one of those trees comes flying into their camp.
Nick: Emma, make me a Ranged Light attack to throw a tree. The strength that the combat rig gives you is enough that you don't need to roll to see if you can pull a tree out of the ground, but if you throw it where you intend to, will take a check.
Cameron: I think Emma does try to find a fallen tree and not just rip up a perfectly healthy tree. So much less work to just pick up one that's already laying around.
Nick: Well, this check will be hard difficulty.
Cameron: Would you say that since I am throwing a tree at people that this is a combat check?
Cameron: All right. The Exo-suit gives me a blue die to combat checks.
Nick: Oh, okay.
Cameron: And all of these bandits have not yet gone in combat, thus, I shall use my talent of Quick Strike to add an additional blue die. The suit also gives me plus one Agility, so my dice pool is a yellow, two greens, two blues, and three purples.
Cameron: Two successes, a triumph, and a threat.
Nick: Okay, so with the successes you are able to - are you throwing this directly at the guards? Are you trying to smash down the fence? What are you trying to hit with this?
Cameron: So I am throwing it so that it goes through part of the barbed wire fence to make a wider opening for myself to get through in the suit, but also so that it continues on to just hit other things as it bounces across the camp in a direction that is not towards the tent that we think Ananda is in. So it's probably jumping through tents and attacking cook fires.
Nick: The tree smashes through the sentry picket lines easily. Bandits are diving out of the way. The barbed wire fence is actually wrapped into the tree making it more terrifying as it goes crashing through the camp. It drags lines of sharp metal behind it. And the threat is that these bandits, while comfortable and pretty relaxed, are quick to rally at their assault as you go charging into this camp, but they have been pretty thoroughly scattered to begin with. You still have that triumph that you rolled. What would you like for that to be?
Cameron: I think the tree's final resting place, having tumbled through the barbed wire and several of these campfire areas, it lands across the supply tent and is slightly on fire because it is a dead tree and it went across fire, so anyone who didn't have their weapons on them and needed to like go fetch them from the armory, um it's on fire. It didn't immediately go up in flames, but there's definitely a tree that's on fire on top of it.
Nick: [laugh] Well, we see Emma charging into camp. Immediately there's screaming and yelling. You hear a couple of panicked gunshots whizzing off into the darkness as these bandits try to figure out what is happening, what metallic monster is charging them alone.
Kit: So Birdie is going to, as soon as the barbed wires out of her way, very quickly dart into camp and hopefully with the distraction that was very helpfully provided by Emma, not alert as many people of her presence as she makes a break for the tent that we think Ananda is in while trying to light a lighter, but she just is like
Kit (as Birdie): Screw it!
Kit: And just sticks the tail end of a Molotov cocktail that was premade by her before this into one of the cook fires and then just chucking it at where the tree is now laying.
Nick: So is your priority to cause a bigger fire or is your priority to not be seen while you do this? It's possible to do both. It's just which one is more important to you at this time?
Kit: Right now I think it would be to raise more alarms by causing a bigger fire because she does have the ability to fend for herself while running as soon as the fire is getting bigger because if she gets caught now she's not gonna be able to make the fire bigger.
Nick: Okay, so make me a Ranged Attack Light. How close do you get to the tent before throwing this flammable bottle?
Kit: [laughter interspersed throughout] Birdie is employing what is colloquially known as the serpentine and she's sort of running everywhere to avoid getting caught and so she gets as close as possible.
Nick: Okay, so this is going to be an easy check then, but I would like to flip a story point to upgrade the difficulty so it'll be one red instead of one purple.
Kit: Okay, gonna aim with that. So that's going to be two greens, one yellow, one red and one blue.
Kit: That is one success, two advantages, one triumph, and one despair.
Nick: So, be thinking about what you want that triumph to be. The success, you're able to throw this bottle onto the flaming log on to the weapons tent and with the smell of burning bacon, it explodes into a fiery wave. The despair is that it turns out these bandits were a little more well armed than you would expect and they must have had some explosives or fuel in that tent as well, because a secondary explosion happens scattering flaming remnants throughout the camp, drawing everyone's eye, and there's one single glorious frozen moment, as 30 panicked bandits all make eye contact with Birdie at once. And Birdie is perfectly outlined by most of the tents in this camp, also burning behind her.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Welp. [laughing]
Nick: So that all happened, but you do have a triumph that you can use.
Kit: The triumph is that the tree itself had only pretty recently fallen, so it didn't get completely blown to smithereens in the explosion, and it lands at a very nice angle to where the bandits would have to cop the tree to get to birdie. It creates a barrier of some kind between Birdie and the bandits and I think that it was a good sized tree, so it's a good size barrier.
Nick: Yeah, from the angle that you came at the camp, there are not any bandits behind you and this flaming barrier will keep anyone from attacking you immediately. Cassidy from your vantage point, you immediately see a flying tree followed by fire, explosions, and chaos.
Sydney: Cassidy, I don't think, expected the rapidity of how fast everything escalated up into fireballs, but the level of violence and chaos by the end of their attack, this is within the realm of where they would reach. There was going to be fire based on Birdie's armaments, there was going to be some kind of big splashy entrance with the combat rig because that type of distraction is how you get eyes away from their captive and towards the people who are showing up to cause problems for you. So Cassidy is firmly planted up in a tree, harnessed safely in with her quiver of arrows at her waist and her bow in her hands. This is a little bit closer of a vantage point than the previous one because a hit and run mission that's planned like this is not the occasion for bullets. So as the group of bandits that has now all very obviously seen Birdie silhouetted behind the fire, Cassidy doesn't get the silhouette effect from her spot. With all the fires now there is clear enough lighting in the camp to show everything that's going on, so she sees Birdie standing in the middle looking a little bit surprised, maybe that her Molotov exploded as opposed to burned, but Cassidy's goal here is - she's looking to keep her people safe. So watching to make sure that no one is sneaking up behind Emma and that no one is going to rush Birdie. And I think them rushing Birdie is the first thing that happens. So there are a couple of very, either brave or stupid bandits push forward to try and vault this flaming log, not wanting to try and go all the way around and try to pick through the barbed wire, especially the barbed wire that had been strung halfway across the camp with the tree following the tree's path of destruction. But Cassidy as soon as someone starts making a move starts unloading arrows.
Nick: And the bandits aren't able to attack quickly. You have plenty of time as they try to leap onto a pile of shattered freight to get over this burning log and you have a perfect shot. Make me a Ranged Light attack to see how well you do keeping back these bandits.
Sydney: What range?
Nick: So I would say if you're up in a tree and close it's probably long range. If you were at the fence line I think that would be medium range, if that makes sense.
Sydney: Do I get bonuses for being at elevation?
Nick: Sure, you can have a blue die for having given yourself a nest to fire from.
Sydney: Can I have a blue die for they haven't gone yet this is counter?
Sydney: So Cassidy has got this vantage point where she's lined up a clear shot. She also has in her quiver where she's reaching there are a couple of arrows sectioned off for even faster drawing so that rather than navigating through by touch and by the feel of the fletching they are placed there to be grabbed quickly. And I'm going to use Cassidy's Rapid Archery talent as a maneuver, so this will increase her next attack and we'll see if it comes into play. Activating that takes two Strain. So I am rolling three yellows, a green, two blues, against three purples.
Sydney: Four successes and three advantages. Cassidy's Rapid Archery talent needs two advantages to actually kick in and I'm going to spin those two.
Sydney: She only had two advantages to activate it once but this attack now does hit twice at the full damage of everything, so that is 12 for each of those arrows.
Nick: Wow. So Cassidy, you see a bandit looking to jump over the log and hit them with an arrow and are drawing the next one before the first one even strikes home, before this person falls. And you see that there are two more already preparing to vault over the log and to where Birdie is still looking around for where to go next. And you delay the release for just a second for them to overlap and let the arrow fly and see it go through one target and into the other, dropping three attackers with two arrows.
Sydney: The arrow that goes through the two of them on the side of it is labeled 'Good Riddance'.
Nick: And Birdie you hear the whizzing hiss of arrows flying just past your head and see bandits taken down from out of the dark buying you some more time. The noise is getting so loud.
Kit: Birdie definitely flinches at first with the sound of whizzing. She's not really used to working in a team, so that was a nice surprise. But she's going to just try and do whatever it takes to get to the tent and because there's no one blocking her, she's gonna just barrel in there. Element of surprise.
Nick: You charge into this tent and you see an entire scene laid out to you that tells you a story in the time it takes to inhale. This tent is scattered with work benches and scrap and tools. You see a man with long dark hair, just a little bit of white and silver at the temples. His arms are tied behind his back. He's laying against the wall of the tent, and a large muscular man wearing a sweat stained tank top and cargo pants with combat boots and what looks like a welding visor on over his face is standing over who you can only assume is the Ananda the clockmaker. Ananda's face is a little bruised, he's hunched over as though he's recently been kicked. These bandits have been threatening him and holding him hostage here for a lot longer than you think you could have held up and they're in the process of keeping anybody from rescuing him.
Kit: Birdie is going to very quickly assess the situation and then upon seeing that there is indeed a person in the way of her goal, she is going to have to whip out the hockey stick. So I don't think it's even something that she hesitates to do. She just has a goal and she's just going to whack this guy with a hockey stick.
Nick: As you prepare to swing at this bandit, what is your hockey stick look like? What does the audience see as they get a good look at your chosen weapon?
Kit: Birdie's hockey stick is definitely well loved. She found it a few years ago and has definitely been putting it to use. There's what looks to be a leather strap around where the old handle grip wore off and so she's been using that to get more of a steady grip on the stick whenever she has to employ it. There is a red scarf tied around the middle of it and on the bottom, there's the translucent yellow tape that just is labeled danger wrapped around the part of the stick that's actually used to play the sport that it's for, and also around the bottom it's wrapped in barbed wire because this is her main weapon. It's a little gnarly looking.
Nick: Go ahead and roll me a Melee attack at average difficulty, but you can have a blue die because this bandit was not expecting anyone to charge into the tent.
Kit (as Birdie): So that's gonna be two yellows, two purple, and one blue.
Kit: Three advantages.
Nick: Oh, so you don't actually manage to hurt this bandit. So Birdie, your adrenaline is up. This escalated a lot faster than you were expecting. And normally, you try to do things with finesse, you use the technique that you've learned over the years of fending for yourself. But this time you just haul back and smack this guy on the side of the head as hard as you can. And unfortunately, the hockey stick while it connects solidly doesn't seem to bother this large muscular bandit that much. He slowly turns to face you. But what would you like to spend those advantages on?
Kit: The bandit that Birdie has hit but not necessarily injured, his attention is definitely not on the tied person in the room. So Birdie is definitely backing away while the bandit is approaching her and she's trying to keep equidistant from him from when they started. And so Ananda has definitely managed over time to either loosen or to fray the ropes enough to where he can either one, assist Birdie or two, run.
Nick: And this bandit looms over Birdie, the differences in their height are frighteningly apparent as he reaches towards you. And there's a loud clang, and the bandit stands up straight before slumping to the ground. And you see Ananda, the man that you've come to rescue so you can deliver his mail, standing holding a tea kettle that now has a large dent in the side of it. And he smiles at you, drops the tea kettle onto the now unconscious bandit and says,
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): Well, I hope that we're getting out of here soon.
Kit (as Birdie): Well that was the plan. Uh. Appreciate your help.
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): I was about to say the same to you. Maybe next time, aim for something a little less hard, huh?
Nick: And he knocks at the side of his head with his knuckles.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, that's a [awkward laugh] good idea. Sorry, things are a bit crazy out there, so we're going to be doing a lot of running very soon.
Nick: He nods and starts to scoop tools into a satchel and throws it onto his shoulder. Emma, what does it look like outside?
Cameron: So Emma is now in the not quite the middle but firmly established in the camp at this point still on the far side of the burning log from Birdie and has her baseball bat out and has become a spinning whirlwind of baseball bat. So it is very difficult for anyone to go in to try to hit her because she's able to spin faster than she normally would be able to because she has mechanical assistance. So it is very dangerous to go near her but she also appears to be the largest threat so everyone's kind of hesitant to stop paying attention to her and she's just spinning.
Nick: I think one bandit tries to grab the bat and there is a hollow crack that you recognize as when you hit the ball just right and they fall back clutching at their now broken arm and I need you to make me a Melee attack at average difficulty with your bat to see how well you do keeping them at bay because you are the biggest threat. You are the focus.
Cameron: So the combat suit also gives me plus one Brawn, so my dice pool is going to be two yellows, two greens, a blue, and two purples.
Cameron: Two successes and two threats.
Nick: Yep. So with the successes you don't get hurt, and you're able to keep them at bay doing as much damage as you choose. But with the threats, I think the suit does take some damage that will be expensive to repair.
Cameron: So this is not normal behavior to be doing in a combat suit. Combat suits were not designed for intense dance, which is essentially what's happening right now, and I think it's one of the ankles of the suit cracks. So it's still walkable and it doesn't hurt Emma, but it definitely does not have the strength that you would want a piece of machinery to have if it was very heavy, and you were going to be running on it.
Nick: Yeah, that makes sense. And Cassidy from where you're standing, you see Emma keeping the bandits back, starting to back towards the hole in the fence. The bandits, while following don't seem eager to engage again. And do you see Birdie, taking full advantage of the distraction caused by Emma, leading a hunched figure under the cover of smoke and flame towards the gap in the fence caused by the tree at the beginning of the engagement. What do you do?
Sydney: Cassidy actually seeing her teammates starting to get to the edge of the situation where they can just pull themselves out, sees that they're not in immediate direct danger in need of intervention, and starts peeling herself out of the tree and starts doing the quick climb down, getting on the radio and going,
Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] All right. We're going out. Split up and get back to the rig.
Sydney: To let them know that she's not covering them anymore. It is now escape time. We're in the next phase of the mission. There's no good left in just continuing to hit bandits because there's so many of them that it's not going to make a difference. All it's going to do is exhausted resources and make them more likely to want to come look for them maybe or give them more evidence to have a chance to find them. Leaving now is the way to go.
Nick: Okay, so Cassidy disappears into the trees and the dark heading back towards the rig. Shortly after and from a different angle Birdie and Ananda break the perimeter of the camp and limp away. Emma, you are standing at the hole in the fence that you made by throwing a tree to begin this fight. You're holding your baseball bat, there's a semicircle of bandits silhouetted by their burning camp behind them. No one is eager to charge you but you struggle to see them letting you just leave.
Cameron: So while spinning, it is very difficult to spot in a suit that only has a screen facing forward, so Emma hasn't really been able to see much beyond just the blurred bodies of the bandits as she spins. So when she hears Cassidy say, Alright, we're good. She knows okay, we can leave now, but that's her only sign that we're good. So she starts to slow her helicopter spinning and the bandits are standing in this semi circle, she ends the spin towards the end of the semi circle and reaches out and grabs the bandit that is that last person in that line and then throws him towards his friends and then takes off the other direction.
Nick: All right, make me a Brawl check at hard difficulty to throw someone at everybody else.
Cameron: All right, I'm going to flip a story point and I get my blue die for combat checks, and that makes my final pool a yellow, three green, a blue, and three purples.
Cameron: A success.
Nick: So you're able to move much more quickly than someone would expect with your bulk in the combat suit, grab a bandit around the shoulders and throw him into the clustered group, creating enough confusion and panic that they barely register you disappearing back into the trees. So we see the rig running, headlights turned low. Birdie hops into the backseat pulling Ananda behind her, shutting the door and Cassidy you fight the urge to rev the engine as you wait, each second stretching out interminably as you wait for Emma and then you feel the slight settling of the rig on its shocks as a heavyweight jumps into the back and you peel out into the trees having gotten away. The rig is smashing through undergrowth. You know it's dangerous to drive quickly in the dark through the woods where it's difficult to see the trees.
Sydney: It's a good thing we've pre scouted this route too.
Nick: You've made sure there's a clear way to escape. And from the backseat, you hear a pained voice ask,
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): It's not that I'm ungrateful, but why did you rescue me? I'm - I'm not rich.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You've got a package, and we were assigned to deliver it.
Nick: The last thing we see is him looking baffled as you drive through the night back towards the town of Grapes. The next thing we see is Cassidy, Birdie, and Emma seated around a comfortable wooden table in a small round room. There is a pleasant clicking, and the sound of gears moving finely together, and outside the window, you can see blue sky, and that's all as we see the group being served tea in the clock tower by Ananda. He slides chipped china tea cups to you all before pouring out of a steel tea kettle that looks remarkably like the one he knocked out a bandit with the night before and smiles at you three and says
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): It's been pretty whirlwind, but now that we've all gotten a little bit of sleep, and I'm back and have the clock working again. You said you had a package for me?
Sydney: Cassidy reaches down from under the table and gently places this twine and brown paper wrapped parcel that they'd been tasked to bring him.
Sydney (as Cassidy): It was cash on delivery. Your aunt said you were good for it.
Nick: He grimaces a little and says,
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): Yeah, I - how much did she promise you?
Cameron (as Emma): One green stitch.
Nick: He nods and before even opening the package opens up a cookie jar set on the shelf of the small kitchenette that's off to the side of this room and you hear a rustling noise and the clink of maybe some squares, maybe some spheres, and he comes back with a green stitch and slides it across the table to you.
Cameron: Is the cookie jar shaped like grapes?
Nick: Yes, it's a bunch of purple grapes. And he says
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): Well, cash on delivery.
Nick: And he pulls on the bow of twine unwrapping the package quickly. And you can see it's a simple cardboard box that's easy to open. And he grimaces and pushes the box over to you all. And he nods down to the box and says
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): She keeps sending me these ginger snaps and I don't have the heart to tell her that I don't like gingerbread. Do Do you want some cookies?
Cameron: How appetizing do these cookies look?
Nick: The cookies look like the definition of mediocre.
Kit: Birdie happily takes two and says
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, thanks.
Cameron: Emma takes a cookie and eats it because it's ginger and her stomach is still slightly upset from all the spinning she did.
Nick: There's bags under Emma's eyes from seasickness essentially,
Sydney: Cassidy takes one and bites off a small piece and then tucks the rest in her pocket.
Nick: The cookies are dry and crumbly and break away in a fine cookie dust as you bite into them. Cassidy you can't help but be reminded of biscuits from trail rations just with a little bit better flavor and you understand a little better this man's grimace.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, at least the bandits shouldn't be bothering you for a little bit. They lost all their weapons, we think.
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): You've done the town a great service. I'll have to tell Dale to do something in your honor.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah do you mind waiting to do that until after we leave?
Nick: He can't help but give a deep laugh and then puts a hand to his ribs where you assume he's been bruised and he says
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): Yeah. I get it. I'll wait until you all are gone. But don't be surprised if next to some of these grape statues there's a statue of well, it'll still be grapes, but it will say in honor of some mercenaries.
Cameron (as Emma): Grape.
Kit (as Birdie): Some mercenaries.
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): Well, what should we call you then?
Kit: Birdie just looks at them.
Cameron: Emma takes a look at Cassidy not 100% on if this is something, not not like a an act that we wouldn't want to associate ourselves with, but just like do we want this town to actually know who we are given the people that we know in this town? And given that if the bandits ever come back and they have our group name...
Nick: I would say the town has a lot more to worry about with the bandits than you all do. The resources it would take to move a large group far enough to keep up with you are more than they will probably do once you've gotten out of their territory.
Sydney: Well, they don't have a lot of resources right now either.
Nick: Like if you came back through here, they'd probably hold a grudge, but also the general life and attention span of a bandit isn't particularly high.
Sydney: Cassidy just shrugs and looks back at Emma and goes,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Do we want to take credit?
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): I think you should you risked your lives to deliver the mail, that's pretty noble of you.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, we also went off and slayed bandits for free. And that's not good mercenary work.
Nick: He pointedly taps a finger on the green stitch on the table next to the box of cookies and says
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): You were paid a lucrative fee.
Nick: And smile self deprecatingly like he understands the situation that you all are in.
Cameron: Emma raises an eyebrow.
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): Well, you were paid.
Cameron (as Emma): [laugh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): Fine. Lucratively in the retelling so that when [laugh] we come back through, they're not expecting us to do whatever heroics. We're the Patina.
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): Well, thank you, the Patina.
Cameron (as Emma): Can I look at your clock?
Nick: He smiles widely and says,
Nick (as Ananda Mallard): Um. Yeah, most people aren't interested.
Nick: And the two of you head down the stairs to where a lot of the machinery is that keeps this large clock running. The three of you continue onward to Tree All Mountain over the next few days. You eat together, you set camp together, you drive together, and whether you try or not, you all get to know each other a little bit more.
Asking around Tree All Mountain during the rush of early spring trying to find your friends is an exercise in frustration. We see small glimpses of each of you talking to people around the train station and the temple of Aranabis with little success. The more details you give of what you know of that day and your friends, the more suspicion and fear you're greeted with. As you all are about to give up, a small child wrapped completely in coats and scarves pulls on Birdie's sleeve and whispers in her ear. The child saw a metal person and a man leave town and head into the woods to the east over the bridge.
The child points you to the east and so you go. The road is weirdly well traveled and you begin to hear the sound of battle as you get deeper into the woods. You cut the rigs motor and hurry your way to a fight. A clearing soaked in the blood of fallen Aranabis priests and standing in the center, poised to strike down the last of the assassins of the god of memory, you see a man - older and less steady than before, but still dangerous and a slender figure with a face posed in neutral wonder behind him, like a guardian angel of chrome and carbon fiber.
Aly (as Zee-o): End of episode. Commencing end credits. The following information will be placed in the show notes for your added convenience.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support @ Patreon.com/TabletopSquadron
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com.
Until next time…
[hurdy gurdy fades]