The Patina wraps up their heist at Ramp Girl HQ.
The Patina wraps up their heist at Ramp Girl HQ.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- Pampa Salitrera » Stones tossed in the desert by Diegolar. Link & License.
- fax.wav by LG. Link & License.
- Labyrinth by Sergey Cheremisinov. Link & License.
- A Hard Reality by The Oracle Of St. Vincent. Link & License.
- What Is It I Know by The Oracle Of St. Vincent. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
- Our Website
- Twitter
- Join our Patreon
- Join our Discord
A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 37: Criminal Masterminds
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
Welcome back to another year’s edition of Pride, where we affirm that you have the right to be proud of your identity and to find your own happiness in the world. And when we are forced to think of those out there who dare to disagree with that, remember that Stonewall was a riot.
If the situation allows it, you may also be able to tune out those thoughts by putting on some headphones, backing our Patreon, and listening to the wealth of bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards you get in exchange. Gotta know your options.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 37:Criminal Masterminds. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Cameron (as Emma): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, we began our infiltration of the Ramp Girls headquarters to try to accomplish Opal’s tasks. My journey started out pretty good - I made it in with no questions asked and got up to the second floor to search for the procedure documents. Then it took a slight turn when I got snagged by a random Colonel and got sent on a mission down to the evidence cage to deliver a giant packet of paperwork. I ran into Birdie and Juno on the stairs and gave them a heads up on the change of plans and the location of the procedure docs before they continued on their way to the camera room. Since I was down at the evidence cage anyway, I tried to provide a distraction for Cassidy to give her time to find the evidence logs, which turned into a much longer distraction when the clerk informed me that my new boss the Colonel didn’t even fill out all the paperwork in the damn packet so that was my job now. No idea how Marathon is doing up on the top floor, but I’m sure it’s going great.
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: The mobile city of Sasnak Traveling never really stops with the falling of night. Not only is the city always in motion, but the population is always in motion. However, there is a change to the atmosphere of Sasnak as the sun finishes setting and the last vestiges of light fade from the horizon. Lights flicker on across the metropolis, and people go about their more private and personal lives with business concluded for the day. Some business, however, has not yet been entirely concluded, as we find ourselves in the Ramp Girls Headquarters, where Birdie has just found herself thrust into an interaction with Karma, one of the Colonels of the Ramp Girls. Birdie - you know that if Karma manages to see Juno inside the security room behind you, that your cover very well might be blown.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, I had no idea that you'd be in right now - it's really late. Um. Hi, Karma.
Kit: And Birdie is just immediately trying to adrenaline rush smack on some sort of mask while she comes up with a story of why in the world she's here at 8pm in the middle of the Ramp Girls Headquarters.
Sydney: Karma tilts her head.
Sydney (as Karma): Oh, you weren't here looking for me?
Kit (as Birdie): [flustered laugh] Um, I had no idea that you'd be in right now. Um, though I'm not upset about being able to see you while I'm here. [giggle] I - are you still on on shift right now?
Sydney (as Karma): I'll be off soon, but we can walk. Where are you going if it's not to me?
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, um.
Sydney: And Karma starts walking forward to catch Birdie’s momentum.
Kit: Birdie will stand her ground outside of the doorway so that Karma doesn't get close enough to see Juno as an unfamiliar face in that camera room. And she'll say,
Kit (as Birdie): Well uh, the Patina and I are on a mild job for someone in the area and there was, it was some sort of breaking in and entering thing that happened, and the Ramp Girls got involved - it was a couple of weeks ago, and I think there just was no closure. And so we were hired to look if there is any evidence that the Ramp Girls had that could help us round the thing out. And I realized that a friend that I had when I still lived here had gotten promoted in the Ramp Girls, so got a little distracted, but I have got completely lost looking for the archives room? I don't really know where I'm going.
Kit: And she'll just give a winning smile up to Karma.
Sydney: Make me a roll!
Nick: Because you didn't lie this doesn't seem like a Deception check to me. The thing that you're worried about would be follow up questions, so this would be a Charm check to see how curious Karma gets about this job. It'll be two purples and a red, because Karma’s Perception is trained. She knows how to listen to people talk.
Kit: Can Birdie have a blue die because she knows people in the Ramp Girls and she can spit out names if she needs to?
Nick: Sure.
Kit: Okay, so I am rolling two yellows, one green, one blue, one red and two purples. Two successes, one advantage, and a Triumph.
Nick: Wow. So I would say Karma is very distracted by your appearance. She doesn't latch on to you talking about that job. She's much more interested in the fact Birdie is here. Is there anything specific you want to use that Triumph on?
Kit: Could I use that Triumph to let Karma just lead Birdie to the place where they need to go? The things that we're looking for in that area, before Emma got taken out by outside forces, they would look innocuous enough to Karma if I asked for them.
Nick: So you just need the documents about the security procedures or like, the information from it. You don't necessarily have to steal the documents. You could copy it or something, but they would sort of be like if you were outside of airport security and were like, ‘so how exactly would you respond if I had, I don't know, tried to smuggle something in?’ Like, that's a suspicious thing to ask, but a Triumph is also like, the story is working for you in this regard, so it could be a coincidence that Karma is already headed there for a different reason and you can tag along. I am fine with mechanically the Triumph being used to get you past the annoying Colonel that gave Emma a job into that room.
Kit: Yeah, I'd be happy to use the Triumph to get into that area.
Sydney: Karma nods and goes,
Sydney (as Karma): Sure, the archives. It's this way.
Kit (as Birdie): [in slight disbelief that this worked] Thank you.
Sydney: And she sets off down the hall.
Kit: Birdie will do a little skip skittering to catch up with Karma, and inwardly is going, ‘oh, thank god.’ She looks very relieved, at least to some degree, but will take this opportunity to do a little bit of flirting.
Nick: So as Karma and Birdie walk away, we see Juno still inside the security camera room, and he's watching Birdie walk away, and starts to scribble furiously on his clipboard to look busy and make sure that the other people in this room don't pay too much attention to him, so that they look busy. And he says,
Nick (as Juno): Well, I guess I'll just continue the audit myself.
Nick: And goes for his most confident look, which is questionable, and we are going to cut away from that to Marathon.
Penn: We see Marathon dusting her hands off, looking behind her nervously and sweatily as she closes a door, and we can see the unconscious feet of these two guards through the crack as she closes it.
Penn (as Marathon): [deep breath] Okay. Okay. Gotta find the records. There's only like 15 rooms up here. Crash out Messenger. Crash out - nope, just Crashout. I'm just Crashout. Okay. [centering/pumping up breaths]
Penn: And after taking a couple breaths, Marathon takes a confident step forward and then immediately turns towards the closest door and starts just trying to force the doorknob. I'm assuming there's not really like or at least not that she can notice ways to figure out what room is what and I think she's going into panic burglar mode. So
Nick: Okay. Marathon, go ahead and roll me a hard Athletics check to force this door open, and part of this result will determine how loud it is.
Penn: Well, Marathon is not very stealthy, but she's rolling three purples against two yellows and two greens.
[dice rolling]
Penn: Three successes and one threat.
Nick: Well, that threat adds to the running threat counter, but you have not yet hit a threshold where it's going to come back to bite you. And with those three successes Marathon, it's sort of like trying to open a jar that is stuck where you're trying to put enough force to pop it open, but not so much over force that you throw the lid across the room, and you do a great job, actually, of shouldering into this door and popping the mechanics of the lock just through the door jamb, and it only makes a little bit of noise. You would assume that nobody who's more than 10 or 15 feet away would have really heard it or registered that above the hubbub of an office that's still functioning. Go ahead and roll me a Fortune die, please.
Penn: I rolled one Fortune Pip.
Nick: Well, that's good. As you start to look around this room, you see that it's actually full of filing cabinets, and as you open up the filing cabinets, you see that there are lots of documents and logs, and you are pretty sure that you have actually found the room where they store all of the customs logs.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, hype. Hype. Oh~.
Nick: Now next up, though, you're going to have to find the specific ones that Opal wanted, so I need you to roll me a hard Classical Knowledge check, please.
Penn: Marathon, after she busted open this door, has her hands on her knees and is taking some more centering breaths, trying not to go full burglar mode, and she's about to roll three purples against two greens.
[dice rolling]
Penn: Two threats.
Nick: Oh boy. Well, that is not good for your threat counter. I think that looking through this is taking you a long time. You really struggle, Marathon, to figure out what this filing system is, how they organize things - it's not by date, it's not by type of product, - it almost seems random to you. And with those threats, as you are searching frantically, we cut back to Juno in the security room, and one of the monitors off in the corner has Marathon, having shoved open this door and digging through all the files. Did you have a disguise?
Penn: Yes, I'm in a Ramp Girl uniform.
Nick: Very good. So that means that, at a glance, this doesn't look too suspicious, but Juno sees that, and you are moving pretty quick, moving stuff around, looking through here, it doesn't look particularly routine, so Juno starts to try to distract the people monitoring the cameras so that you don't raise any further alarm. And I need him to roll a Deception check, so that'll be three greens against two purples for Juno.
Cameron: Okie dokie.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: One success.
Nick: [so proud of his little guy] Hey~! So Juno is starting to sweat a little bit. He just starts to spout as much jargon as he can at the Ramp Girls that are in here until they're forced to turn around and pay attention to him.
Nick (as Juno): Pop quiz time, everybody! Why do we monitor our internal cameras? Faster! Come on talk. Tell me. Tell me, tell me. Tell me. This is very important. This will affect your year end review. Hurry up! Talk!
Nick: And he just starts brow beating these poor Ramp Girl technicians to try and buy Marathon time, as she continues to look and is fairly successful at it. And we are going to cut away from that situation to the evidence cage. Emma, you are working on filling out the paperwork for the Colonel, and the lady manning the desk says,
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Well, as long as you're working on that, I'm going to go and pick up some more documents from the back. I'll be right back.
Nick: And she turns to leave, heading in the direction you're pretty sure Cassidy is.
Cameron: I want to quickly scan through the next few pages that I haven't gotten to yet, until I find one with a lot of blanks.
Nick: Okay, you're able to do that. This paperwork is a mess, so it's not that hard.
Cameron (as Emma): Wait before, before you do that, could I quick, just quick question on this page. I'm pretty sure I have answered all of these questions at least two times, probably, probably three at this point actually. And I know in the last time that I answered the same round of questions, you said that they had to be written in a certain format. Is, is that the same for this form?
Cameron: I want to try to get her to come back to me.
Nick: All right, how willing she is to help you is related to how friendly you've been and forming a relationship with her over this time, so go ahead and roll me a hard Charm check, but you also have a black die, because this lady does not like people.
Cameron: Can I have some blue dice because of how long we've been talking and I've been being really respectful and helpful and asking her questions about her job?
Nick: Yes, you may have a blue die for having laid the groundwork ahead of time.
Cameron: So Charm, definitely one of Emma's premier skills - a yellow, a green, a blue, a black, and three purples. [laugh]
[dice rolling]
Cameron: One success, one advantage.
Nick: The clerk gives a deep sigh.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): [scratchy sigh] All right.
Cameron (as Emma): I'm so sorry.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Let me take a look at what you're talking about there. What - line 17 A - is that, is that what's given you trouble?
Cameron (as Emma): That's the first one, yeah.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Wha-? This one's not even filled out.
Cameron (as Emma): I know! That-that's why I'm trying to fill it out, because it's not.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): This is,
Cameron (as Emma): I don't, I don't know what short form essay format they need this in, though.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): I'm gonna be having a word with your commanding officer about being thorough.
Nick: So Emma, you managed to distract her and work through this paperwork. Cassidy, at this point, you have finished modifying the logs. They are about as good as they're going to get. What is your plan now? Are you going back into the vents?
Sydney: Yep, back up into the vents. Leave no trace, in and out.
Nick: It's a little bit harder to get quietly back up into the vents than it was to get down out of the vents. So I'm going to need you to make me a hard Stealth check, as the only sound currently covering your movements is the scratch of a pen and the grumbling of a clerk up front.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay, what about 17 C? Because this seems like the same question as B.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): It is.
Cameron (as Emma): What? Why? Why? Why though?
Sydney: Can I have a blue die because Emma is getting plaintive with her complaints about the incompleteness of this paperwork?
Nick: Yes, you can. Emma is very clearly trying to make noise and cover for you, so you may have a blue die.
Sydney: So that means I am rolling four greens and a yellow and a blue against three purples.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: Two advantages.
Nick: This is fine. Emma, you're borderline shouting about this paperwork and how it makes no sense when the clerk holds up a gnarled finger to you for silence and says,
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Did you hear that? I think I heard something. It's probably those rats again. I'll be right back.
Cameron (as Emma): You have rats?
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Yes, they're everywhere.
Cameron (as Emma): Isn't that bad for the paperwork?
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): It's not ideal.
Nick: And she starts to bustle back into the stacks to investigate. Cassidy for the two advantages, you have left no trace behind you, but the noise was you kicking something as you were trying to climb a shelf to get back in. Something pretty small, but it fell and rattled, and it turns out that this clerk has very sharp hearing, interestingly enough, so I'm going to need you to make me a hard Athletics check to get up into the vent and close the way behind you before she ends up in your aisle of the evidence cage. You have two black die because you're still trying to do it quietly.
Sydney: All right well, I have a Knack For It for Athletics, so I'm gonna remove those two black dice. I'm gonna be rolling two yellows and two greens against three purples.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: A success and an advantage.
Nick: So describe how you very quickly get out of this area and back up into the vents.
Sydney: So Cassidy had left the vent cover on the top of the bookshelf. It was out of sight, but rather than trying to fit it back into the vent, especially with that, it has an extra bezel around it to be attached. It was out of sight enough to not attract attention, seeing that the clerk was at the front, but it also meant that it was in a good position to be pulled up after her. But as she gets there, she realizes that the vent is a little bit further away from the top of the bookshelf than she thought it was, and rather than easily being able to climb up into the vent and then reach down to grab the vent cover and pull it up after her, she does half of a handstand to put her waist up into the vent, and then grips pushing out on the sides of the vent to brace herself, and grabs the vent cover and yanks it up with a big inverted sit up and lands up in the vent, flexed, holding the vent in place. She will probably have to stay like that for a few seconds to make sure that the coast is clear before working the fasteners back through and attaching everything.
Nick: So Cassidy, you get this pulled up, and you're holding still, trying to be quiet, maybe holding your breath, and you see this clerk shuffling underneath you, and she stops and looks around and scratches at her head. You hear her saying,
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Those dang rats. If they've been eating my paperwork, they'll be hell to pay.
Nick: And she stops, and she's still looking around, and a single bead of sweat starts to roll down the side of your face, and you can hear her still talking to herself.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): I'm so tired of all this paperwork, and that Ramp Girl seems nice, but I just I don't care anymore.
Nick: And she finally turns to leave as the drop of sweat falls off of your cheek and lands and hits the ground, but it doesn't hit her, as she has already shuffled on and Emma, you hear the clerk returning to help you finish the paperwork without any alarm being raised, so you assume you must have bought her enough time to finish what she was doing. And we are going to cut back to Birdie and Karma. You have just arrived at the office of the Colonel that sent Emma scurrying to fill out paperwork instead and Karma you have escorted Birdie to the room she wanted to see.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh um, this is it?
Kit: And Birdie will gesture inside.
Sydney (as Karma): Yeah, Blanco, here is manning the desk. Blanco. She's looking for someone.
Nick (as Col. Blanco): Uh okay. What is she looking for?
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, I'm just looking for something you might have in your archives, record of an incident report?
Nick (as Col. Blanco): Well, that's nice, but you're not a Ramp Girl, so you are not permitted access to these archives without express permission from a commanding officer.
Kit: Birdie will look back at Karma and bat her eyelashes just a hair and go,
Kit (as Birdie): I'd hate to ask - it is important to the job, but if you, if you can't, I don't want to ask for special treatment or anything like that.
Sydney (as Karma): If you tell me who the job's for, I'll treat it as a favor to them.
Kit: Birdie will have a moment of going a little wide eyed and then scuff the toe of her boot against the floor.
Kit (as Birdie): It's for um, Councilwoman Opal.
Sydney: Karma nods as this tracks with her existing knowledge and looks back up to Blanco.
Nick (as Col. Blanco): So I guess that's express permission from a commanding officer then.
Sydney (as Karma): Yep, put it under me.
Nick (as Col. Blanco): Okay, I'll fill out the logs, and I'll make sure you get the packet of paperwork for accessing the archives later, Colonel Karma.
Sydney (as Karma): Thank you.
Nick: The other Colonel gives you a big smile.
Kit (as Birdie): Thank you so much.
Sydney: Karma does the gesture of ‘after you’.
Kit: Birdie will enter the archive room, and she's just a little all over the place trying to figure out how the hell she's going to pull this off now that she has Karma breathing down her neck, and not in the fun way.
Sydney: Karma follows Birdie into the room, gets a small cone shaped cup from the water cooler, takes a swig, crumples it, puts it in the trash can, and then sits down with her feet layed out in front of her in one of the chairs in the room. She looks relaxed at Birdie.
Nick: Birdie, this archive room is bigger than you expected. You were hoping for maybe twice the size of Colonel Blanco's office. It is probably eight times the size of Colonel Blanco's office. It is a large piece of this floor on this side of the hallway, and it is set up like library stacks - so the shelves go floor to ceiling, and to save space, they press up against each other, and you can slide them in and out to access individual parts of it. So there is potentially ways to break sight lines here with Karma, but doing that without looking suspicious may be a bit challenging.
Sydney: Am I allowed to flip a GM Story Point when I'm playing an adversary?
Nick: Sure.
Sydney: I flip a GM story point and Karma points at the line in the stacks directly across from her.
Sydney (as Karma): That should be the two weeks ago logs.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, thank you. Yeah, it's anywhere from two weeks to a month. And so if - does it go further back, if it's in that range?
Sydney (as Karma): A month might be around the corner.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, just want to cover all my bases in case, you know, Councilwoman Opal, she's not too keen on specifics,
Sydney (as Karma): [small laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): - and she really likes it to just send people on wild goose chases I think.
Sydney (as Karma): I hope you find what you're looking for.
Kit (as Birdie): [laugh] Me too.
Sydney: And Karma has taken out a notebook and is scribbling a couple of things in it.
Nick: So we're going to cut away from there. So Emma is pretty sure that the basement stuff has been accomplished. Emma still has a big old packet of paperwork.
Cameron: Yeah, she's speed running it now that Cassidy is gone.
Nick: Would Emma take the opportunity to get out clean and leave other people to do stuff, or would she try to go back up to the archives?
Cameron: Her plan would be mosey her way back out of the bottom, bottom basement, just slowly work her way up to the first floor, knowing that Juno and Birdie had been headed to the camera room, and in theory, could see her as she was leaving, and that hopefully, if she needed to go somewhere else to help someone, one of them could come and intercept her and give her information. Otherwise, she's probably just gonna make a smooth exit when she gets to the first floor rather than go anywhere near that Colonel again.
Nick: Same question for Cassidy. Cassidy has achieved her mission - would she work her way back out of the vents and trust everyone else to do their job, or would she try to do other things?
Sydney: Based on the initial planning, Cassidy knows that she basically volunteered herself for the hardest task, but also the most self contained one. And because she was able to come in on the sub basement and go straight to the evidence room, trying to climb multiple stories vertically through these air ducts, would be loud and potentially physically challenging, and she is just going to trust that her team is going to figure it out, and will go ahead and head back out and go back to the rendezvous point, which is probably a cafe pretty close to the Ramp Girls HQ that has some outside areas so that it wouldn't be unexpected to linger a little bit, but it also provides a little bit of an alibi. And if they wait there for a period of time and someone doesn't show, then that's a sign that it might be worth figuring out what the situation is. They're close enough to act because it's in the area.
Nick: So Cassidy's withdrawing, Emma, you are making your way slowly and obviously up the stairs as an available outlet. Let's check in on Marathon.
Penn: As you return to the room with all of the file cabinets and custom logs that Marathon is churning through, we see many papers scattered about, and some of the cabinets have been left open as she is pouring through each of these papers, moving very quickly from sheet to sheet, trying to stay calm and focused, but not in a necessarily neat way.
Nick: You actually do find the packet of customs logs that you're supposed to find. It turns out that these were organized by case number, which does not necessarily have anything to do with what was checked in, or the date that jumps all around. So this is a organizational system that's supposed to be used in partnership with an index somewhere which you didn't find, but you managed to find the packet you're looking for after having made a bit of a mess. It is a light enough set of logs that you could tuck it into a bag or into your uniform without it being obvious that you're carrying around paperwork.
Penn: Marathon slides this file into her Ramp Girl's uniform, and takes just a very brief moment to lean back onto one of the desks in this room and just take a breath out.
Penn (as Marathon): Found it okay. Mission is salvaged. Mission safe.
Penn: And pushes herself back up, and then takes note of the chaos that she's left in this room, and we see her eye twitch a little bit as a drip of sweat continues to move down her temple. Marathon is going to start trying to put some papers back, not just shove papers back into file cabinets, but maybe not respecting the organizational system. She is going to try and slip all of these papers back into these file cabinets so that it doesn't seem so much of a burglary.
Nick: Yeah, so Marathon, you're able to cover your tracks a bit. Obviously, getting everything back to exactly where it was is out of the question in any sort of time, but at least the room doesn't look tossed anymore, and as you go to peek through the doorway, you see that there are two more Ramp Girls in uniform walking along the hallway, talking to each other. It looks like they're on some sort of patrol duty up here.
Penn: Marathon hugs the wall a little bit and tries to keep the door closed as much as possible, except with a little crack at the end. She is weighing in her mind whether it's worth it to go back for her extreme stunt dive suit or to just try and escape out one of the nearest windows.
Nick: And as Marathon decides how she is going to affect her escape, we cut back to Birdie in the archives. The first thing we see is Juno's perspective, watching Birdie through the security cameras and then the next we see is Birdie herself in the stacks, looking through files.
Kit: The way that Karma worded it, it's done by time, like, how long ago the document was created?
Nick: Mhm.
Kit: Is there an alphabetical way to look through the documents and stuff as well? Because the security procedures would not be in a timeline.
Nick: Yeah, this is mostly records and staffing things. The procedures are in a separate shelf where they just keep procedural documentation. If you want to flip a player Point that can be close to where you are. You can get to the file - the question is going to be, how are you going to distract Karma or do the lift without getting caught and then get out of there.
Kit: Yeah, I'm gonna flip that Story Point to allow the procedural documents to be somewhat close to where she is fake looking for the incident report, so that if she like leans the right way and isn't making too much noise it sounds like she's in the right section.
Nick: Yeah. It's not directly in the same stacks section as where Karma indicated, but it's close enough to the around the corner section, where you would break line of sight that you could appear to be somewhere non suspicious, based on what Karma is expecting.
Kit: Birdie will just start looking in order to establish that she is making an effort to try and find these fake incident reports. And will also try and keep an eye out for any incident reports that include breaking in and entering, stolen property, or anything involving luxury goods that could be owned by Opal.
Nick: Yeah. So I'm gonna need a couple of checks from you. I am going to need either Stealth or Skullduggery - if you are trying to not be seen, or if you're trying to be very nonchalant to keep Karma from being suspicious and coming over to see you. And then I'm also going to need a Classical Knowledge check to see how well you do at finding both the documentation you're looking for and the documentation that you are trying to use as cover. One note is, technically, you're just supposed to get copies of the security procedures, so stealing them is not a failure, but it's not a perfect success, because then they'll probably change their procedures when they realize it's missing. So like, you're not gonna get in like huge trouble, but Opal will be mildly disappointed if you end up with the originals. The Skullduggery difficulty is going to be hard, but you will have two blue die because Karma is distracted by your wiles.
Kit: Okay, so I'm gonna be rolling three yellows, two blues and three purples. One success, three advantages and a Triumph.
Nick: Great. So you are very successful at being nonchalant and getting to exactly where you need to be. I'm gonna make you roll the Classical Knowledge check first, because you could potentially use the Triumph to cancel out failures there or whatever. So the Classical Knowledge check will also be hard.
Kit: Okay Classical Knowledge is gonna be two green and three purple. Two successes and three threats.
Nick: Perfect~.
Kit: With this knowledge, could I possibly use my Triumph - could there be a universe in which Birdie manages to double up the security procedures and the incident report that she's supposed to be finding, and make copies of both of them by just like having their page like the backs of their pages against one another, or just like having the pages mixed in between each other?
Nick: Interesting. So, yeah, double them up sneakily wise, which I think you can do with your Triumph. Basically with all of your successes and solutions and everything, you are able to get both the cover documentation that Karma thinks you're getting and the procedures that you're supposed to copy. And you have rifled them together like cards to where, unless you're going page by page, it looks like the documentation that you said, but now you have to figure out how to get a copy of this to Opal.
Kit: Birdie will poke her head out, and it's easy to assume that between an incident report and the standard security procedures, it's a pretty thick packet of papers that she's holding. And so she gives a little sheepish look at Karma as she's rounding the corner to face her again and will say,
Kit (as Birdie): Um, I hate to take up all your time. I just I, I should probably copy this over in one of my notebooks really quick, just so that we can have it as a reference going forward.
Sydney: Karma stands up and gestures for the file.
Kit (as Birdie): Um, okay.
Kit: And she'll hand it over.
Sydney (as Karma): If I'm putting my name on this, I need to know what is being pulled under it.
Sydney: And she opens it and copies down the incident number and scans the first page. It does appear to be a burglary that happened three weeks ago on holding of Opal's.
Kit: Birdie will slowly tense back up again just a hair as she watches Karma rifle through some of the papers.
Sydney (as Karma): You said you're sending this to Opal?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. Yeah, I am.
Sydney (as Karma): Okay. Let's go this way. You don't need to manually copy things.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Sydney: And Karma walks into a side room. There's a machine with an input tray, several numeric buttons and other buttons labeled with settings, and what looks like a almost a radio handset and Karma gestures,
Sydney (as Karma): This will go straight to Opal.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh!
Sydney (as Karma): We've got her numbers here.
Kit (as Birdie): Thank you.
Sydney: And Karma finds on the wall the directory of the current council people who are apparently the ones important enough to have access to this direct connection from the Ramp Girls HQ.
Kit (as Birdie): Um.
Sydney (as Karma): I'll take care of it.
Kit (as Birdie): Are you sure?
Sydney (as Karma): You just hang out.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Sydney (as Karma): Just sit over there.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. [giggle]
Kit: Birdie will look on in curiosity as Karma goes through each of the pages and will ponder to herself how much this Ramp Girl machine compares to the one Juno mentioned as they were planning.
Sydney: Karma loads the whole stack into the input and dials the number to Opal's office. And then as the pages start being fed through, she leans against the desk that this is sitting on and look back over to Birdie.
Sydney (as Karma): So you're done for tonight then?
Kit (as Birdie): I am. Do you have any plans?
Sydney: Karma shrugs.
Sydney (as Karma): I can make time.
Kit (as Birdie): Well, then it looks like you do have plans. [giggle]
Kit: And she'll lean forward and start thinking of places to go to get a drink in Merchants Alley, probably.
Nick: And as Birdie and Karma begin to plan their date, we cut back to Marathon. Marathon, did you decide to go get your starting clothes, or are you just out a window?
Penn: Marathon has gotten to the opposite side of the room as this door and is crouched next to one of the windows that lead outside. She's very, very slowly trying to lift the window so that it's almost silent, and she's going to start to turn on her grav skates, and is going to try and swing feet first out of the window of this building and try to skate down the wall.
Nick: All right. Go ahead and roll me a daunting Athletics check with one black die, because it's dark outside now. So that's four purples.
Penn: And I think this is gonna be especially dangerous for her, because at least before she had the padding of the X bike crash suit. Versus - is this Coordination?
Nick: Coordination or Athletics. Whichever you wanna do. Depends on your skating style.
Penn: I think Marathon is going to use Athletics, because she's not attempting to be as cool as she was, at least in her head, before. And I'm rolling four yellows versus four purples and a black.
[dice rolling]
Penn: Four successes and three threats.
Nick: Oh~. Well, that does tick over the last of the threat counters that I was watching for. With all those successes, you do escape out into the night without being hurt. You skate very well. As you were sliding out of the window, you hear someone shout
Nick (as Ramp Girl): Hey!
Nick: From the doorway as the two Ramp Girls that were walking up and down the hall peeked in and saw just the silhouette of your retreating form. If you had not left, that would have become a very loud altercation very quickly, but now you're gone, and they are probably very confused. What does it look like as Marathon skates away like a badass?
Penn: As Marathon skates starting down this building it moves very quickly because gravity is taking her. She tries as she's about 10 feet from the ground, she quickly - from a horizontal vantage point it's hard to tell, but she is crouching down on the sideways wall, pushing herself off and trying to shoulder roll right back into skating away.
Nick: You disappear into the shadows of the city as you hear one more call of alarm from the window,
Penn: She gives a little fist pump.
Penn (as Marathon): Crashout! Crashout!
Nick: And you escape into the streets. And the last thing we see is Juno watching all of these successes from the camera room. He slaps his clipboard on the wall, making the people monitoring the cameras jump and says,
Nick (as Juno): Well, this concludes our observation. You're doing a wonderful job.
Nick: And pivots on a heel and walks out of the room and begins to busy walk his way back to the part of the headquarters where he can get to the Guts. And the Patina and friends get away clean with every objective that Opal had posed them. We next see Cassidy, Emma, Marathon, and Juno at the rendezvous point, looking around for if everybody got away successfully.
Penn (as Marathon): Y'all that could - that went about as smooth as it could have.
Penn: Marathon's almost careening in.
Cameron: Emma is sitting there, just shaking out her wrist and hand because she hasn't written that much by hand in a very long time.
Cameron (as Emma): Ow.
Sydney: Cassidy takes the last bite of her slice of pizza, as she's been here for several minutes waiting for everyone.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, we all seem to be here, except for Birdie.
Penn (as Marathon): Y'all seen Birdie? Ah, shoot. Do we need a rescue mission? I can't go back. I was made.
Cameron (as Emma): I thought you said it went as well as possible, Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): [awkward throat clearing]
Sydney: Cassidy closes her eyes.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We're gonna have to do a debrief, I guess.
Nick: Juno swallows a over large bite of pizza.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, Birdie was on distraction duty. She got out as well. So everything's good. Nothing went wrong. We are criminal masterminds.
Penn (as Marathon): Wait. Then where is she then?
Nick: Juno just makes a meaningful look at Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, come - again??
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind