A Knight of Shreds and Patches

Ballroom Dancing

Episode Summary

The Patina has experience disarming bombs, right?

Episode Notes

The Patina has experience disarming bombs, right?

Content Warning:
- Gunshots

Cast:
- Professor Jupiter is played by Bee Zelda. Bee, your non binary busy bee, can be found on twitter @bee_zelda. They are a podcaster, a member of the Broadswords, the host of Anime Attache, and a player on the Power Play podcast. They are a twitch streamer, they have co-produced their own show on Roll20 called Indie Showcase, they host Tabletop Otaku for Origins Game fair, and they are the community manager for D&D Adventurers League. 
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She also edits the show. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13. and on Instagram a @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. 
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support Patreon.com/TabletopSquadron.

Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License
- bullet train.wav by Snapper4298. Link & License
- 44 Magnum.wav by dcsimon. Link & License
- Coachgun » Coachgun_Fire1.wav by PhreaKsAccount. Link & License.

Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.

Find Us Online:
- Our Website
- Twitter
- Join our Discord

Episode Transcription

A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Episode 21: Ballroom Dancing
Transcript by Cameron Robertson

Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –

Bee: Bee Zelda as Professor Jupiter.

Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood.

Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.

Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:

Looks like they’re still counting ballots for the Audio Verse Awards, so we’ll continue to keep our fingers crossed and keep hanging out. In the meantime, drop by our Discord, or give us a follow on Twitter, and we can swap bad jokes while we wait.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into episode 21: Ballroom Dancing. And so...

Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.

[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]

[over radio]
Sydney (as Cassidy): Last time on A Knight of Shreds and Patches, bandits decided to rob our train. Unluckily for them, the Patina (or at least a couple of us) happened to get in their way. Emma hit a guy in the face with some tea, and Professor Jupiter is also known as Mo’nae, and seems to know some of the bandits, which is probably a bad sign...at least I'm the one using their gun.
[radio static]

Episode Start:
Nick: The four of you are gathered in the luggage car of the Rondaxe line. You’ve fought your way here against bandit hijackers, and having learned their plan decided that you needed to stop them before anyone else got hurt. We see the sparse luggage car with racks and suitcases on either side. Light filters in from the top of the car, painting your faces with illumination and shadow.

Cameron: Are there any like, I don't know, thin long cases in this luggage cart? You know that may appear to be holding weaponry.

Nick: [Cameron laughing in background] If you flip me a story point you can have something disposable. Yeah.

Cameron: Okay.

Nick: For the cost of a story point you'll find something that - Do you want a gun? Or a sword? Either way, it's in a trombone case, so

Cameron: I open up a trombone case, and I find a small dagger.

Sydney: Inside the trombone. Like there is a trombone in IT, but it's in the bell.

Cameron: Yeah, she picks up the trombone and tilts it to the side and a knife falls out, because that's always how it happens in stories. That's totally how she knew to look there. [laughing]

Sydney: Cassidy just makes a face at this like,

Sydney (as Cassidy): Why? Why would you try to open a trombone case?

Cameron: And then a knife falls out. [laugh]

Sydney: Because Cassidy knows what a trombone case is. [laugh]

Bee: You're just getting nothing but enthusiastic thumbs up from Mo’nae, like

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.

Sydney: Cassidy also is looking back and making angry eyes at Modem who is too far behind. I assume he's staying at a safe distance, but he's so out of it from the whatever he's doing.

Nick: Yeah, he's been strolling so far, but from the face that you're making at him, he walks up close. And he looks at Emma and he says,

Nick (as Modem): Ah, the old knife in the trombone trick. Good looking out, child. Cassidy, did you need me for something? Combat is not normally my forte.

Sydney (as Cassidy): No, you just need to stay close cause you said you didn't want to die.

Nick (as Modem): I will stay closer. I was attempting to stay in cover and I thought the train had been cleared to this point, but I -

Sydney (as Cassidy): It had been cleared but remember when we saw rocket engines pulling up to the side. Don't be like three cars back.

Nick (as Modem): Noted and thank you for your concern.

Sydney: And Cassidy starts moving towards the door.

Nick (as Modem): Ah-Oh-Okay.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): So what is the deal? Like, did you just pay them a bunch of money so they can kind of keep you alive and then you hang out? Is this something that's an offer on the table?

Nick (as Modem): I would hope that you would not attempt to outbid me.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I mean I'm thinking about it. I am a betting person.

Nick: He squints at you for a second and says,

Nick (as Modem): I paid for passage. They were headed this direction anyway, and I needed someone to travel with. I-I must report some new findings to the Advantia. Knowledge is our pursuit.

Nick: And he stares off into space for a second then shakes his head.

Nick (as Modem): Plus, I enjoy not getting shot.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Which is why I - Yeah, you know you're giving me a lot to think about. How about you want to hang out just we'll hang back a little bit, how does that sound? We'll be a little bit safer back here.

Nick (as Modem): If that is what you wish, then we can stay where it is safe. For I, being a man of knowledge, do not fear being called a coward. I do not fear the scorn and hatred of others as they learn that I avoided danger. And surely you as an academic also do not have any reputation upon which you must hang yourself, so that you can function being also admired.

Sydney: Cassidy is leaning against the walls in the front of the cab with Emma drumming her fingers.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Wait why do you think I'm an academic? Oh, cause I have professor in my name. Right. Right. Um. You know what, on second thought, I'm gonna go hang out with those two.

Nick: Modem just shakes his head and as you're walking away,

Nick (as Modem): I thought it was polite to assume your cover story still stood.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I mean, I'm not doing the professor accent anymore. But yeah, no, you stay true to you, Modem.

Nick (as Modem): I am always true to me, for I

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): [interrupting] Oh gosh. No I gotta turn my back on this person.

Nick (as Modem): [quietly in background] - am a member of the Advantia.

Nick: And you you all walk away as he ducks behind some luggage, still pontificating to himself. He looks kind of smug, having gotten everyone to write him off and leave him alone, that maybe that's what he wanted was for people to leave him alone is like just a crazy old Advantia guy. Also as a reminder, he's like 35. So you all are by the door. There are obviously people on the other side.

Sydney: In Cassidy's impatience to get the door open. She is listening because she's just trying not to listen to Modem. There were angry voices on the other side?

Nick: It's hard to make out exactly what they're saying because it's a door, that long connecting walkway, and another door. But you can tell that there's a disagreement and it sounds like it's not necessarily escalating to violence but based on the snippets you're hearing some of them are not sure how to go forward with whatever plan they're supposed to do and they're arguing about what to do next.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Cassidy, you kind of look like the one who's in charge here - Could you maybe give me some guidance? Because like, I... my my skill sets very limited. Like you you need money, I got money, I can knit that up in a stitch. But um... if you need literally anything else, I don't know what to do.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Stay by him.

Sydney: And Cassidy points over at Modem.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): No no no. You cannot make me do that.

Sydney (as Cassidy): He's gonna be safe. You know he's gonna be safe.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I mean I can talk my way to getting shot, I'm not worried about that. I just don't know how to talk myself out of getting an entire train bomb disarmed.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, we're gonna talk ourselves forward into the cab and we're gonna keep talking with this,

Sydney: And Cassidy gestures with Mo’nae's revolver.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Until there's not a problem anymore.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah. Wow. Wow, that's probably a really solid solution. I never thought of - Do you just like pull the trigger and then it works?

Sydney: This is your gun.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I've never used it. Look at - it's terrifying. Terrifying.

Sydney: And Cassidy rolls it in her hand and looks at the nice pretty engravings down the side of this thing. It's overly fancy.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): I chose it because it looked good.

Sydney (as Cassidy): It does look good.

Bee: Mo’nae is gonna swish their long hair.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Okay, I'm ready. I'm just gonna like hanging up behind. Emma. Emma are you good?

Cameron: Emma has just been kneeling next to the lock on his door to open it and has now leaned back to where she's sitting on her heels, has both of her hands crossed on top of the baseball bat and has her head resting on it just waiting for everyone to finish talking so she can open the door. [laughing]

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah, you look good. Okay.

Bee: And they'll step right behind you.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): All right, ready!

Cameron (as Emma): You good, Cassidy?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yep, let's do up.

Cameron (as Emma): All right.

Cameron: Emma opens the door.

Nick: The door slides open. There's another walkway and the other door is open, so you can see into the car. It looks like some sort of engineering car. And there's a group of six bandits. They all have handkerchiefs pulled down around their necks. They've clearly been arguing. There's an assortment of hats. One of them even appears to be wearing armor, and they're all armed, some with long knives, one with a rifle, a couple with pistols, and they all turn in unison as the door swings open and are peeking through this other door. You all get a moment of staring at each other.

Cameron: Emma and Professor Jupiter had been to the side of the door that had the lock to the side so that they didn't get in Cassidy's way as she did the sweep. So if anyone is standing out in the open, it's just Cassidy.

Sydney (as Cassidy): How long is this hallway?

Nick: It's probably like six feet. It's just a connector between the two cars. And there's a door so like some of them are in cover on either side of the door, but you can see into it and you can see people.

Cameron: So Emma had been crouched down to the side of the door, unlocks it, quickly tucks the lockpick into her hair, and then has the baseball bat hugged against her chest as she's kneeling down and then pulls out the gun that Cassidy said had a better chance of going off, and had prepped waiting for Cassidy to motion that it was okay to go into the tunnel. And then the door opens and Cassidy doesn't move immediately, but also isn't shooting anyone immediately, so Emma peeks around the side of the door and sees that the other one is already open and goes

Cameron (as Emma): EEK!

Cameron: And shoots down the hallway. [laughing]

Nick: Roll me a story die, please.

Cameron: One fortune dot.

Nick: Okay, so the gun goes off. Go ahead and make me a Ranged attack at Easy difficulty because...

Sydney: They're unsuspecting.

Nick: Yeah.

Cameron: I'm aiming in general down the hall, who knows if there's a person where I'm aiming but...

[dice rolling]

Cameron: A success and two advantages.

Nick: Okay, so you hit one of the guys who's holding a pistol. He's standing next to a, what looks like a large engine that has had additional stuff bolted to the side and you hit him in the chest and he just drops. Drops his pistol, collapses to the ground, is holding where it's bleeding and is completely out of this fight. And I need you all to roll initiative for me.

Cameron: Emma doesn't see that happen because she ducked back around the side of the door as soon as she shot.

Sydney: Yeah, and I think Cassidy is expecting it but she's expecting it because she's expecting the Patina to lead off. It happens so she doesn't think too hard about it. Her reflexes literally go Yeah, that makes sense. But it was Emma and it wasn't done in the same way because there was a squeak. [laugh]

[dice rolling]

Sydney: I got a success.

Cameron: I got two advantages.

Bee: Two successes.

Nick: I need you to roll me to yellow die, Cameron.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: Four advantages.

Nick: Roll me a yellow and a green.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: Two advantages.

Nick: And roll me two yellows and a green.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: Three successes.

Nick: Okay. So the order is going to go: an NPC slot, a PC slot, a PC slot, a NPC group, the last PC slot, and then one more NPC. Just so y'all know what the combat is, there is a group of minions, a pistol guy and the two knife guys are operating as a unit, and then rifle guy's working independently and shotgun guy is working independently. So that guy drops, you all lock eyes for just a second and bullets and weapons start to fly as people start to dive for cover and attack each other. So first up one of the guys with a rifle dives into cover and from there takes a shot at Cassidy because he identified very quickly that that was the -

Sydney: Cassidy is still the one that's watching this angle with Emma having ducked back behind.

Nick: So she's the one that's most visible from cover and he's going to take a shot at her. You do have cover so that's black die added to the shot.

Sydney: Yep, and I'm gonna take another strain to Sidestep again, so add one more difficulty on whatever he's doing.

Nick: And he's going to aim.

Cameron: Uh he ducked into cover that's his maneuver.

Nick: That's fine. He'll be in cover, whatever...

[dice rolling]

Cameron: An advantage.

Nick: Mm. So the bullet pings off of the train car doorway. Cassidy you duck back, the doorway is very thick metal, and you see him curse and duck back behind part of the engine and cycle a bolt and load another cartridge. And next up is a PC slot.

Sydney: Cassidy is gonna shoot someone.

Nick: Okie dokie.

Sydney: Bullets were flying. Emma shot first. Cassidy is prepared to immediately follow up with apparently Emma shooting first. So who is not in cover shotgun guy and then the group of mooks?

Nick: Yeah, they're not in covered. They're further back in the room. They're in medium range, but they're not actively ducked behind stuff. It's just sort of an awkward angle is the thing because you're shooting like from a doorway through another doorway.

Sydney: Gotcha. So rifle guy is closer but in cover?

Nick: Rifle guy is further back. He ducked back when he got into cover. He's back behind the engine.

Sydney: So who's closest?

Nick: The pistol and knife mooks?

Sydney: Okay, then yeah, Cassidy is gonna shoot for the pistol guy in that group.

Nick: Okay. It's going to be medium range.

Sydney: Okay. She's going to stay in the doorway and aim. So I'm rolling two yellows, two greens, two purples and blue.

[dice rolling]

Sydney: Three successes and two advantages.

Nick: How much damage is that?

Cameron: Seven damage, Crit three, Pierce two.

Nick: So it's seven plus the three is ten. Okay, you actually can shoot two of them if you would like.

Sydney: What happens is, again, Cassidy's going for center of mass. They're not super far away and this is still an unfamiliar gun, but she's feeling more comfortable having shot it at least once, being successful that first time. So she goes for center of mass on the pistol guy because he is the most immediate threat because he can shoot. So she hits this guy, and he spins as the bullet hits him a little bit off center, and he spins and then in his shock and maybe lack of discipline, he pulls the trigger on his gun and shoots one of the guys next to him. And both of them drop and the third guys left looking at his ally who just killed his other ally, and he's not having a good day.

Nick: And up next is another PC slot.

Bee: Mo’nae is getting a feel that we're falling into a bit of a pattern and whether it's noticeable or not, so Mo’nae stands up, rolls a shoulder rolls, the other one cracks their neck, cracks their fingers and then steps out into the threshold. And with a slight clearing of their throat

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): [clears throat]

Bee: They begin,

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Well well well, what do we have here? Seems like a lot of your allies are getting their fucking asses kicked. Is there perhaps something we can do to let you survive?

Bee: And they'll look over at the what, two surviving?

Nick: Three. Two well armed ones and one dude splattered in his friend's blood with a knife.

Bee: And this is a lot of posturing too, hands on hips, chest puffed out, head held higher. They have no weapons, who needs weapons when you have bluster?

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): So uh what do you three here gonna do? You want to run for your lives? Do you want to spill your guts? Or do you want to have your guts spilled?

Nick: Roll me a Coercion check at hard difficulty with a black die because their adrenaline is super up so they don't necessarily want to talk to you right now.

Cameron: But also with two blue die because this is a social check.

Nick: Also, I might recommend flipping a Story Point to upgrade your check.

Sydney: I would also like to use my advantages to roll a blue die forward.

Bee: All right rolling! One failure, three threats?

Nick: Okay. So you notice that the guy that is holding the shotgun is someone that you recognize. You had originally just seen their outlines because of the light from outside the train, and as you step into their train car to threaten them into surrendering, you see a large guy. He's also wearing a tweed suit, kind of like yours. He's got large ginger, mutton chops and is balding on top, and he has a shotgun pointed straight at you. And he says,

Nick (as Mutton Mike): What do you know? It's Mo’nae. They owe me so much money. Get them boys!

Nick: And they go to shoot you [laughing] with a shot gun. Gonna be a yellow and two greens, Cameron, at average difficulty, and I would say with a blue die because of all those threats because Mo’nae kind of bet it all on this one and is flat footed.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: We have one advantage and a triumph, but no success.

Nick: It doesn't hit. We get the shot. Mo’nae's suit coat flaps wide, pellets scatter through it. Sunlight is going through all of the holes in the coat, but none of them hit. They just shread the sides of your clothes. The triumph... Ginger, mutton chops guy looks towards his remaining compatriots and says,

Nick (as Mutton Mike): Well, boys, I guess the decisions been made for us.

Nick: And hits a big red button on the thing that's been bolted to the engine and you start to hear a digital beeping as something is counting down.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Mutton Mike, you didn't!

Nick (as Mutton Mike): Oh Mo’nae. I did.

Nick: And he smiles at you. And you could see he only has four teeth that are hanging from the top of his gums. He is, it's a gross smile. And he cocks his shotgun threateningly and it is a another PC slot.

Cameron: So there's one knife guy, mutton chops, and the rifle dude?

Nick: Yep.

Cameron: And so rifle dude is hiding by the gun, mutton chops just pressed a button so I assume he's over there as well?

Nick: Yep.

Cameron: And then where's - knife dude's just chillin?

Nick: He's to the side of the doorway, closer to y'all than the other two.

Cameron: [long sigh] Emma needs to get to that bomb. Emma takes off down the hallway and comes in swinging and goes to hit a homerun on the knife guy's head.

Nick: All right, that's two purple's for a Melee attack.

Cameron: Yup. Hopefully aiming it to where he gets hit and falls towards the other dudes.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: A success, a threat, and a triumph.

Nick: Do you want a crit on this guy? Or you could use that triumph for other stuff? How much damage do you do?

Cameron: I do five damage.

Nick: Okay, so you can take that guy out without using the triumph.

Cameron: So Emma has taken off down the hallway, is holding the bat with her hands in the correct grip, but has it to the side as she's running. And then as she crosses the threshold into the other car slides a bit. And then as she's sliding takes a proper baseball form for a swing and then swings towards... stomach of the knife guy, actually. So he just collapses in half and cannot breathe because all of the wind just got knocked out of him.

Nick: Yeah. And he's totally down.

Cameron: And continues sliding and is then over by the bomb. [laughing]

Sydney: What was the triumph?

Nick: Yeah, if you want to save it for the check being much easier when you disarm the bomb.

Cameron: Yeah, they very much did not put any contingency planning into this raid at all. So it is incredibly simple to turn the bomb off when she gets over there because they were not anticipating anyone getting to it and having the chance to try to turn it off.

Nick: Yeah, the bomb seems pretty simple. It doesn't have an off button. But it doesn't have fake wires or trigger detonators or any of the stuff that, what you would imagine would make disarming a bomb harder. You've never done this before. And then also with the triumph, you're in cover on the other side of the bomb and these two remaining guys are not going to shoot at you because there's a high explosive between them and you. So you're safe for now unless they change position. Next up would be an NPC slot, but they're dead. So next is another NPC slot, and it's the rifle guy and he sights down his rifle again and takes a shot at Mo’nae who is still crouched in the doorway and frankly they can't really see Cassidy behind Mo’nae because Mo’nae is taking up the whole doorway. So -

Sydney: Yeah, did Mo’nae freeze getting shot at or is this just dramatic stance of power?

Bee: It looks good like a power stance but they are frozen in fear.

Nick: From the front they still look intimidating and scary but the back is just drenched in sweat. So I need you to roll me a green and a yellow versus one purple with a blue die because they're aiming.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: Oh dear. Three successes.

Nick: Ow. How much damage does your rifle do, Cassidy?

Sydney: Oh the sniper rifle? Nine.

Nick: Okay, this isn't that nice of a rifle. This only does eight, plus three successes is eleven damage minus your soak of three. So that's eight damage coming at you, Mo’nae.

Bee: Okay.

Nick: So you're not down, you're still alive.

Bee: Oh, it's absolutely movie scene. They have their arms raised out and with a coat flaps of their already gunshot riddled, beautiful tweed jacket, they'd remain in my possession and that just made them the perfect target. So when the bullets fire out their body shakes with the impact until they're eventually knocked back through the back of the threshold and probably on top of Cassidy. Do you catch me?

Sydney: Mo’nae stumbles back. And Cassidy reflexively has to, she passes the gun over to one hand, to her hand more behind the door like her left hand and then catches Mo’nae stumbling back with her right hand, basically redirects them and grabs them and then slings him around behind them so that Mo’nae is now in cover. But there's only one second of not watching this doorway, where she makes sure that they're safely down. But there's not a status check.

Nick: Mo’nae, you can't help but be reminded of ballroom dancing with a very competent partner as you were spun out of the way.

Bee: I feel like I'm in very strong, capable hands. As their hands touched me and I feel those calluses. Wow, this is a good person.

Sydney: Cassidy is basically wearing a nice ballroom dress, like for that moment it's that scene. And then the bloodstains on everything are revealed. [laughing]

Cameron: It pauses slightly the background shifts to a beautiful marble floor with sparkling lights.

Sydney: There's a really nice marble print case in the background just for the camera to get that shot.

Nick: And up next is a PC slot.

Sydney: So there's two guys left - there's the shotgun and the rifle?

Nick: Yep, Mutton Mike and rifle boy.

Sydney: So rifle boy is still in cover, Mutton Mike is not?

Nick: Yeah, he's crouched by something, but he's not mechanically in cover.

Sydney: Okay, then yeah so Cassidy is just gonna aim and shoot at Mutton Mike, seeing that he's now the most accessible target and knowing that Emma is in the room with him. The rifles a little bit unwieldy that close, but the shotgun maybe I mean, Cassidy can see it's a bomb. She doesn't know any of the details of it, but shotguns are used for home defense, because they don't over penetrate things because it's just a bunch of pellets instead of one big thing. So maybe this guy would be foolhardy enough to try that shot. And that's - Emma is her one person left here, so she just goes to the shotgun guy.

Nick: Alright, take your shot.

Sydney: So same pool as last time.

[dice rolling]

Sydney: A success.

Nick: How much damage is that?

Sydney: So seven Pierce two and then I am going to - how many story points we have left?

Cameron: Two.

Sydney: Okay. Yeah, so I'm going to spend a story point on my Lucky Strike ability, which lets me add my Agility to a successful hit. So I'm gonna add four on top of that total.

Nick: Oh, wow. It's really lucky you did that. He was not going to go down. And now he does. I don't think you kill him. But he's out of the fight with where you hit him. So.

Sydney: So what made it my Lucky Strike?

Nick: I think you actually hit him in the hands and jack up his hands so bad that he's in shock. And he can't hold a weapon.

Sydney: So clips his trigger hand and then hits him in the shoulder. So he's down, and he's not going to be shooting anytime soon.

Nick: Yeah. And so he's down, yelling and clutching at his wrist, his hand is not going to be useful anytime soon. And that just leaves the rifle guy and another PC slot.

Bee: Okay, so Mo’nae is trying to get their bearings again, with the shock setting in they haven't really fully absorbed that they were shot. And you see them reach into the left side of their tweed jacket and pull out the thinnest, thinnest knitting needles you've ever seen, almost impossibly so they just catch the light every now and then and twinkle ever so slightly, but you know that they are sharp. And they - you know that thing, it's very like Gambit from X-Men where he pockets the cards and flips them back out of the sleeves. So they're kind of doing that movement as they stumble back into this luggage room. They see Emma so close to disarming that bomb, Mutton Mike with his hands mangled and his shoulder bleeding. There are bodies all across the ground and the train is still shaking ever so slightly, creating that slightly natural and unnatural vibrations that remind you that you're still in a train. And with a deep breath.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, wow. Okay. Today has been a day, hasn't it? You you there with the rifle? Yeah. What was your- I've seen you around before. Ahh yeah. Ignatius thats you isn't it? Good old Iggy. What the hell are you doing here?

Nick (as Ignatius): I owed Mutton Mike some money.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Okay, well, Mutton Mike can no longer count money because he has no hands.

Nick (as Ignatius): This is a good point.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Mhmm.

Nick (as Ignatius): This is a very good point.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): You want to just leave your rifle there and get the heck out of here? I don't care if you jump off the train. I don't care if you disconnect one of your really, really kind of cool bikes. But we have a bomb to disarm and um I'd rather you not be around.

Nick: Roll me a Charm check.

Bee: Alright, um, two yellow, one green.

Nick: This is going to be an average check, but you can have two blue die.

Cameron: Plus the other two blue die because this is a social check.

Sydney: Is it a good or a bad thing that this rifle guy was the one that shot Mo’nae?

Bee: Mmmmmm.

Sydney: To just have it get totally no-selled because Mo’nae is still in shock.

Bee: Um [fancy throat clearing] Six successes and two advantages.

Nick: Yeah when you said throw your rifle down and get out of here, you could tell he was going to want to bargain to keep his rifle because that's his whole career. But thinking about it looking around, you hear the clatter of a gun hitting the ground and sliding away and a groan as it looks like Ignatius spiked the rifle off of Mutton Mike in his haste. And he takes his coat off so that you can see that he's just wearing his shirt sleeves and doesn't have any other weapons. He has his hands up and he starts walking towards Cassidy and Mo’nae, and then says

Nick (as Ignatius): All right, yeah. Fuck Mutton Mike, fuck this plan. I'm getting out of here.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Take off those colors as well. They look terrible on you.

Nick (as Ignatius): Yeah, you're right. You know -

Nick: And he pulls the handkerchief off and throws it down and then starts taking his loafers off and hopping up and down on one foot trying to get the matching socks off. And is throwing those on the ground as he's walking past you and you could see him stomping back into his loafers.

Nick (as Ignatius): Like, you know what, screw this group, screw this hiring, screw everything. I'm so done. I'm going to just go to the back of the train and hope when that bomb goes off that I can stay in one piece. Y'all have fun. Please don't shoot me.

Nick: And he starts inching past you all.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Bye Iggy.

Nick: And he starts running and then makes eye contact with Modem who's still hiding behind the luggage. He's like,

Nick (as Ignatius): Who the fuck are you?

Nick: And Modems like,

Nick (as Modem): I am Modem. I -

Nick: And he's like,

Nick (as Ignatius): Okay, cool.

Nick: And just keeps going. [laughs] and runs to the back of the train.

Sydney: Yeah, I don't think that Cassidy would let him go by because he says he's gonna go to the back of the train and their stuff is at the back of the train. So he gets up to Modem who starts giving the thing and Cassidy just basically clears her throat at this guy. And he's in an obedient frame of mind right now, because Mo’nae's very persuasive. So I think he turns around and just sees Cassidy looking down the barrel of this gun at him and she goes,

Sydney (as Cassidy): No, I don't think you're going to get to go to the back of the train. You're going to have a front row seat while we disarm the bomb.

Sydney: And just gestures to an empty spot, probably an empty spot in the luggage rack where he has to sit in a ball on it to keep him from being mobile.

Nick: Hey, Cameron. Roll me story die, would you?

[dice rolling]

Cameron: One misfortune dot.

Nick: He sticks his tongue into his cheek, looks at you, looks at Modem, inches backwards a step and then jumps off the train in between the two cars. You hear a yell that's very quickly drowned out by the wind and you have the car to yourself. Everybody is either unconscious or bleeding and in a lot of pain.

Sydney: Cassidy blinks, and then goes to join Emma in the front car to see what she can do to help.

Cameron: As soon as Ignatius passed Emma she was around the other side of this bomb and was starting to look at it.

Nick: Modem after seeing this guy jump off the train hurries up and says,

Nick (as Modem): There appears to be a bomb.

Cameron (as Emma): Good observation.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Wow, Modem.

Nick (as Modem): I am here to offer my assistance. Although explosives are not the focus of my knowledge, I do have some.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Um Modem - It's not that I trust you. It's just Emma looks like she's a little bit more capable at disarming things. Have you seen her open up a locked door? Like legit locked door. I just think the dexterity that she provides is a little bit more than your theory.

Nick: He looks very contemplative, and like strokes his beard and says,

Nick (as Modem): You're right.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Mhmm.

Nick (as Modem): Emma is a very intelligent woman and I would only offer my help in this instance. I have absolute faith in her.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Oh, I thought you're gonna say you have absolutely nothing to offer. But having faith in her is good, too. Good. Good job.

Nick: He frowns and opens his mouth like he's gonna argue with you. And you just talk over him and he just resolves into silence.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Okay, Emma you got this. Cassidy have you, have you ever seen her disarm a bomb? I'm sure this isn't like your first -

Cameron (as Emma): [nervous laughing]

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): - bomb disarming right?

Sydney: Ah, it'll totally be fine. Just trust the hot hand.

Cameron (as Emma): Ehhhh...

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Yeah! That.

Cameron: Emma has her little tool set back out, has been looking through lifting up wires, seeing where things connect, and the amount of sweat coming from stress that has been happening, really since she first took off with the bat into this train car. It's increasing the more that these people around her talk.

Sydney: Cassidy sees it a little bit and just goes off to start checking on the rifle that that guy dropped and make sure that Mutton Mike is not in a spot where he can do anything to interfere here.

Nick: Yeah, he's not really sensical. But you busy yourself, do you bind up his arms so that he doesn't bleed out?

Sydney: Yeah, tie his arms probably just like roll him on a stomach and hog tie him. Just the quickest, easiest way. She does have to move the tie down the wrists a little bit because he doesn't have good anchor point.

Cameron: But it's also serving as a tourniquet.

Sydney: Yeah.

Nick: So Emma, I need you to roll to disarm this bomb. You can see that there's a minute on the timer. It's been beeping down regularly. It seems straightforward. It should be simple. Unless what if they made it that simple, so that people would underestimate it if they were trying to disarm it?

Cameron: Looking at it, just knowing how things should be attached to make the power move through it and able to actually make this bomb explode, Emma quickly identifies where she thinks should be the cut to just disconnect that current so that nothing's going to make it actually to explode. But then starts being like, Wait, that seems way too simple. It can't be that because I wouldn't have noticed that immediately. But what else would it be and is looking at all of the other things that she passed over to get to that particular spot. And is like uh I don't know how this could... looks very studious from everyone watching her. She's like, Yeah, she's just really trying to figure out how this bomb works. But inside her head, she's like, Surely it can't. No, it has to be more complicated than this. It's a bomb.

Bee (as Professor Jupiter/Mo’nae): Um not to pressure you there, but um that timer is really counting down. And I thought we would have this resolved by now. I do have a midnight tea party to attend. You're all welcome. But that's assuming we survive.

Cameron: Emma just starts nodding as you're talking. It's pretty obvious that she's not really comprehending what you're saying. [laughing] She's like yes, voices are occurring. And then we get the dramatic shot of she's looked over everything on this bomb and it has to be that first spot she saw. The dramatic shot of the little tiny baby pair of scissors, going towards the wire and then hovering over it and then snipping it. And what am I rolling for this Mechanics check?

Nick: It's gonna be hard difficulty. You can have two blue die for having taken your time and analyzed it.

Cameron: What do I get for my triumph that this is a really easy bomb?

Nick: Okay, it'll be average difficulty.

Cameron: Thank you. Yep and I'm going to flip a story point.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: Two successes, five advantages.

Nick: We see these little scissors inching towards the wire. It should be so obvious, but that's what you worry about. And you almost hear a voice in the back of your head telling you sometimes the simplest solution is actually the solution. And you snip the wire... and the timer stops.

[hurdy gurdy music swells]

Outro:
Aly (as Zee-o): End of episode. Commencing end credits. The following information will be placed in the show notes for your added convenience.

This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:

Bee Zelda as Professor Jupiter. Bee, your non binary busy bee, can be found on twitter @bee_zelda. They are a podcaster, a member of the Broadswords, the host of Anime Attache, and a player on the Power Play podcast. They are a twitch streamer, they have co-produced their own show on Roll20 called Indie Showcase, they host Tabletop Otaku for Origins Game fair, and they are the community manager for D&D Adventurers League.

Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt.

Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.

And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support @ Patreon.com/TabletopSquadron

This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.

The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.

You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com.
Until next time…

...Audio Offline.
[hurdy gurdy fades]