The Patina kicks off their heist against Ramp Girl HQ.
The Patina kicks off their heist against Ramp Girl HQ.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
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- Meadow Walz (ID 1337) by Lobo Loco. Link & License.
- Live-It (instrumental) by Ketsa. Link & License.
- Running Eiskrokodil (ID 01) - Remastered by Lobo Loco. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
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A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 36: Already Off to a Bad Start
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
[narrator voice] Game’s tied, it’s the bottom of the ninth, you’re up to bat, there’s two outs, runner on second, you’ve got a full count, and the closer’s about to throw some heat. Do you:
A. Swing with all your might, believing it’s coming down the middle? [turn to page 49]
B. Bunt down the third base line and make them make a play? [turn to page 87]
C. Take the pitch and hope your earlier mind games make them throw a ball? [turn to page 6]
D. Back the patreon? [get access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards, then choose another answer]
[back to normal] If you’re here listening, I believe in you, and I’m sure whatever you pick will give you the outcome you want. You got this, on and off the field.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 36: Already Off to a Bad Start. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Penn (as Marathon): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, we planned our big heist of the Ramp Girl Headquarters. We have three objectives and I’m gonna break them down for you here. Objective one: Acquiring the Entry/Exit Ramp Logs for Opal - that will be done by me, Marathon Messenger or should I say Crashout, my epic cool skater alter ego that is always rolling on the hype with the ScavengeHERs. [confident laugh] Yeah Crashout is pretty cool, they also have a Ramp Girl alter ego and ope- sorry, no I’m getting back on track. Sorry. Um. [clears throat] Objective two: Locating and acquiring Procedure documents about security procedures for Opal - that will be done by Birdie, coming in through the Guts with Juno, and Emma, coming in with a Ramp Girl uniform after getting a tour with Riley that [short laugh] that nice little twinky figure that works for the Ramp Girls. And Objective three: Modifying contraband evidence logs to reassign new people to the contraband locker - and that will be done by one Miss Cassidy Shard who is going to be sneaking in through the vents after doing a masterful job of surveying the ventilation landscape beforehand. The way things are looking, everything is going to go perfect. Everything is gonna swim swimmingly. I just can’t wait to see it all happen and uh, well I should say Crashout can’t wait to see it all happen. I gotta get ready to dive off this building and wall ride up to the window. Skate you later, as Crashout would say.
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: Sunset over Sasnak Traveling is a time of orange light and long shadows. The city itself seems to pause in this liminal space between day and night. There are many changing of shifts and commutes to and from work as not only the day changes, but personnel changes as well, and the Patina intends to take advantage of that as they begin their mission to steal from the Ramp Girls, among other things. We first see Cassidy deep within the vents of Sasnak Traveling approaching the region of the Ramp Girls Headquarters that she was not able to explore before without looking a little bit too suspicious, no longer having a way to talk her way out. She is on a mission to the evidence cage deep within the basement of this headquarters. How is Cassidy dressed? And how is she approaching the beginning of this mission?
Sydney: After Cassidy got through the very first part of the vents where she needed to maintain the cover of being maintenance, she had shucked her coveralls for what, in this case, is just the most practical gear for the job to be quiet in the vents and to blend into the background when she can get away with it. Hopefully no one will have a chance to even need to be sneaky, but she's wearing black leggings, black somewhat form fitting hooded sweatshirt with a black cloth wrapped around her face, leaving only her eyes exposed, so that even if she is seen, they will have very little to go on. And she's carefully bracing against the sides of the vent as she moves forward using the technique that she developed while doing her maintenance slash scouting for moving quietly in these vents that are otherwise extremely loud.
Nick: The first thing Cassidy that you start to realize as you go deeper into this facility is that this is a particularly challenging technique to use over long distances, and there are a lot of vents to go through, so I need a hard Athletics check with two black die to see how well you make it there without exhausting yourself.
Sydney: Fortunately, Cassidy has a Knack For It for Athletics, so I will be removing those two black dice, and that leaves me with my two Brawn and my four in Athletics, with a pool of two yellows and two greens against three purples.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: Two successes and four advantages.
Nick: So with those successes, you have really gotten this technique down to a science. You've been practicing while you were scouting out the area and you're able to move along very efficiently. You do not find yourself fatigued as you continue deeper into the vents. Cassidy, based on both your scouting and the scouting of the rest of the group, you know that the evidence cage is in the third basement all the way in the bottom of this facility. You are going to have to go down quite a bit as you go further in. Is there anything that you are trying to do as you go deeper? Or are you just trying to move as quickly as possible? Are you looking out into the hallways? Are you trying to map things? Just curious about what your priorities are.
Sydney: I think the initial scouting gave enough of an outline of kind of what was on the floors that at this point, Cassidy is more concerned with the mission than trying to gather any more information, and is just trying to go quickly and quietly, because she knows that being seen in the basement is a lot harder to make a quick escape compared to the higher floors with windows, and so her job is to do this quickly and quietly, and if she needs to take some steps to, like, support a team member or something later that can be handled at that point.
Nick: Makes sense. There are several vertical shafts that you have to climb down which are probably the closest to a actual rock climbing experience out of this infiltration. You are very good at making your way deeper into the facility, and you find yourself in the third basement and climbing through the horizontal vents to get towards where you know the evidence cage is. Looking through one of the vents, what you see is that these air vents are not in the walls. They are suspended from the ceiling along other electrical conduits. You're not visible in them, but you are not as hidden as you would be and noise would transfer further down here, because this is not a very finished space. But looking through one of the air vents, what you see is a very large room with steel racks stacked up to the ceiling with different boxes and detritus scattered all over it. And then on the far side of this wide open space, it almost looks like a full warehouse - there is an area that has been blocked off with chain link fence from ceiling to floor, and has a solid wall in the middle of it where there is somebody actually seated at a counter that looks to be filling out paperwork - the person who manages the evidence cage. So there is a big area that is much less secured and you are already basically over and then there is a lockdown area where you would imagine the more sensitive investigative material and evidence is kept, and there is somebody actively working on the logs that you know you're going to need to modify. What is your plan? Because you've basically fully infiltrated it. You have had so many successes and your advantages skipped the laser grid in one section, so you're just there, but you're gonna have to figure out what you want to do to try to actually get to the logs now.
Sydney: Cassidy, not having seen this specific room and set up directly, is gonna take this opportunity to let her weight settle down onto the bottom of the vent so that she's not holding any tension, and watch out the vent, exercising some of those sitting still, patient sniper vibes that she has cultivated over the years, and is going to see how this person works, as far as like, if they get up to fidget, if they get up to walk around, especially if they get up to leave the area to go use the restroom, that would be a perfect opportunity for her to take a further action, but for now, she will wait.
Nick: And as Cassidy settles in to observe and wait for her opportunity, we cut away to Emma. Emma, your plan to infiltrate was to go the same direction that you went when you visited Riley, coming in through the parking area and bypassing some of these security checkpoints. As you are working your way through this facility, you do blend in. You're in a uniform, but you are having to stay out of direct line of sight of people. You don't want them to wonder who you are, if you're new or anything like that, so I need either a Streetwise or Stealth check from you at average difficulty, but you do have two blue die because of your disguise.
Cameron: All right, I'm going to do Streetwise because my Cunning is better than my Agility. So for Streetwise I will be rolling a yellow, two green, two blue and two purple.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: One success, one advantage.
Nick: Nice. Brings you up to four advantages. That's very good. There is a threat counter and there is also an advantage counter that you might be able to cash in later - we'll see how that goes. So you are very successful at just blending into the background as another member of the Ramp Girls. What is Emma's approach as she makes her way through this facility, heading up, trying to get upstairs to where she is pretty sure the security procedures must be located based on the group scouting up to this point?
Cameron: Emma has made herself look like a tired Ramp Girl at the end of her shift, but is just kind of trekking through looking like she's got one last task to do before she's able to get out of here for the evening. Since she didn't see a room specifically labeled like Security Procedures, like Document Storage or anything when she got the tour from Riley, she's walking around subtly looking at the rooms as she's passing them, just working her way up while avoiding everything near the front entrance on the first floor, where she knows that Riley had to speak for her during the tour, and is trying to hunt down the most likely document storage space. So just kind of wandering, but trying to look like she's got a purpose.
Nick: And so you're able to make it up to the second floor pretty easily. Tired and trying to get finished for the day is pretty much the pervasive attitude of people that you find around here. And as you are walking around, looking through open doors, trying to look unobtrusive, you hear someone snap their fingers at you from an open doorway, and you look into an office. You see somebody with officers insignia on the chest of their uniform, sitting at a desk, writing hurriedly. She is attempting to get your attention and says,
Nick (as Officer): Hey, private, come here. I need you for something.
Cameron: As soon as Emma heard the snapping, she jumped to a still tired looking, but a much more focused attention stance, and makes her way towards the desk and then stands in the at ease position.
Nick: The room is lit by a single lamp on the desk. You can see heavy bags under this officer's eyes and a almost comedically high pile of paperwork on the 'in' box on the desk and a much smaller pile of paperwork on the 'out' box. It looks like she has been extremely busy. She looks up at you, grabs a sheaf of paperwork, and then does a little bit of a double take at you and says,
Nick (as Officer): I - I don't recognize you. Are you new?
Cameron (as Emma): Yes, ma'am. This is my second week.
Nick (as Officer): Oh, okay, fine. I guess I haven't noticed a new induction class in a while. Um if you could take this down to the evidence locker, please. I need this to be filed with the clerk down there. Tell them it's more important than whatever they're working on right now.
Nick: And she hands you what looks to be like 500 pages of paperwork bound with gold bradding into - it almost looks like a big movie script or something, and as she hands it over to you, it is surprisingly heavy.
Cameron: Emma takes it with both hands, and then, since both hands are now full of paperwork and she cannot salute, she does a nod as a replacement, and then pauses to make sure that this officer doesn't need anything else.
Nick (as Officer): And when you're done with that, I need you to come back. There's more I'm going to need you to do. You're going to be busy until probably a couple hours after your shift. I'm sorry, but my normal help isn't here, but that's why you take the oath, right? Whatever you got to do. So get down there and then get back here.
Cameron (as Emma): Yes, ma'am.
Cameron: Emma does the head nod again, and then turns around and walks back out to the office.
Nick: So Emma, the question becomes, are you going to do this extra task for this person, or are you going to try to dump the paperwork somewhere and keep working on your objective?
Cameron: For the moment she's gonna hold on to it, because now it looks like she has a specific task that she's doing. She's gonna use it to keep looking around, but look even more official than she did it before, so that she can at least try to find the place that they need to end up so that she can, if she needs to, hand off that information to someone else for them to accomplish that part of the job, but also realizes that this new task could potentially provide a distraction for Cassidy down at the evidence cage. So I think she is still gonna do it, but she's not speeding off to accomplish it. She's still looking around as she makes her way back all the way down. I want to know what is on the second floor, and then, armed with that information.
Nick: Yeah, go ahead and make me a Perception check, please. It's going to be average difficulty now that you have a prop for your disguise, but it is going to be two black die added to it because you are trying to look as nonchalant as possible, which makes it harder for you to look around.
Cameron: So for Perception, I'm rolling two yellows a green, two purples and two blacks.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: One success, one advantage.
Nick: Nice. So you are able to figure out where these procedure documents are being held. You unfortunately realize that they seem to be through the office of the person that you were talking to. You caught a glimpse of another door behind their desk, and there were rows and rows and rows of filing cabinets in there, and after looking through the rest of the floor, you see that there isn't really anything else that looks like document storage besides this person who handed you documents. And as you can't help but flip through what she handed you, you can see that these are also the kind of documents that you would expect that would be kept around the security procedures that you're looking for. So you now know where the documents are being held, but unfortunately, you're going to have to figure out some way to get past this person to get there, or Birdie and Juno are going to have to figure that out, one way or another.
Cameron: Coming to this realization, Emma then hurries off down to the evidence cage to try to regain the time spent on her perusal.
Nick: And as Emma hurries to the main staircase to head down into the basement, we cut away to Birdie and Juno, who are standing by what was once a door from the Guts, but is now a open gap that has been cut by a plasma cutter that Juno brought along. Juno is wearing a Ramp Girls uniform with a surprisingly high rank on the Insignia. Birdie, you are behind him as you enter into the facility from the entrance in the Guts. You are in one of the basements, and you're not sure exactly where yet, but Juno looks confident. Birdie, how are you dressed since you were not wearing a Ramp Girls uniform?
Kit: She's conveniently wearing something the same color as the Ramp Girls uniform, but just - she looks more like a rebellious Ramp Girl breaking dress code than a complete civilian in her normal get up just in case anyone looks a little too close for a little too long, even though she is with someone in a Ramp Girls uniform.
Nick (as Juno): So uh, I'm gonna be honest, Birdie, when we went from infiltrate through the Guts to Ramp Girls HQ, I sort of stopped listening, and I don't entirely remember what we're doing. Could you please remind me before we end up in the midst of our enemies so to speak?
Kit (as Birdie): Juno!? You were - you were like being all mysterious during planning and stuff. I thought you were paying attention.
Nick (as Juno): No, I was thinking about how susceptible to food octopuses are for training, and I got kind of distracted.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm gonna tell Janus that you got distracted during a mission.
Nick (as Juno): [nervous laugh] No, there's no reason to do that. Especially I'm the one who's official here. I am a senior officer. You wouldn't want to end up in a bad situation in Ramp Girls HQ, which I am obviously very comfortable in being a senior officer here.
Kit (as Birdie): [said on a sigh] Okay.
Nick: Juno raises his eyebrows and wiggles his head back and forth in a self important way.
Kit (as Birdie): [sigh]
Kit: Birdie takes a really deep breath and nods a couple of times and is like,
Kit (as Birdie): I'm on lookout duty and kind of searching duty, because Emma's got the main locating and acquiring procedure documents job.
Nick (as Juno): Right.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm just meant to be a minor distraction if need be, as well as aiding in that process for her. You are going to the camera room between shifts, which is any minute now, so just walk with me, but look like you're leading.
Kit: And she starts walking in the direction where she remembers the main camera room being for the floors that they're going to be conducting their business on.
Nick (as Juno): Oh, right, yeah, totally I remember that now. I appreciate the reminder.
Kit: And Birdie definitely doesn't mention how she was kind of hoping that Juno paid more attention, because she was gonna ask Juno to make sure that she knew what she was doing, but it's okay she remembers, and there's nothing to worry about.
Nick: So Juno leads you, Birdie, to the main staircase and starts to head upwards because you are in the basements and the camera room is further up, as well as if you're supposed to be supporting Emma with her job, you know she's up somewhere on the second floor. And as you make it up to the first floor, you see Emma heading down, holding a massive sheaf of paper, and the three of you stop and look at each other on these stairs. No one else is around at the moment, but this was not the plan.
Nick (as Juno): [normal volume] Oh, hey, Emma! Hi!
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] Hello. So I have located the room that we need to get into.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly in background] Great. Great.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] Good news, good news. Bad news, it's through the office of one of the officers.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Oh...
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] And she gave me this stack of papers to take down to the evidence cage, so I'm headed that way to see if I can be of any assistance to Cassidy -
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Shoot.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] - since I was specifically called out, and she knows what I look like, so I'm gonna do what she tells me to, but it's on the second floor, approximately three quarters down the first hallway that you enter into.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Mhm. Yeah. Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] Middle aged looking lady with really cool gray streak in her hair, but she - yeah, we're gonna have to get past her to get to the documents I think.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Okay, I guess that's where distraction is going to come in handy.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] Yeah, she said she'd have more jobs for me. So one of those could potentially be sending me back into that room, but [shrug noise]. I don't know. I could just be being a fun messenger.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Oh, gosh. Okay, yeah, update Cassidy on the situation downstairs, and I'll monitor the cameras with Juno for a few minutes and wait for you to come back up, if that's okay?
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] Yeah, just watch for me. I'll be headed back this way.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Yeah, and I can just hang out with Juno and use it as an excuse of bring your sister to work today or something like that.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] Mhm. It's an internship.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Yes, of course.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] College, college credit. Mhm.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Definitely in college.
Nick (as Juno): [quieter than normal, but not all that quiet] All right, well, I'm getting extremely anxious just standing on the stairs discussing things. So we should get moving again, please.
Cameron (as Emma): [quietly] Okay, bye.
Cameron: Emma heads off down the stairs.
Nick (as Juno): Okay, bye~.
Kit (as Birdie): Good to see you!
Kit: And Birdie returning to being in character, will wave off very friendly and will accompany Juno to where the shift change in the camera room is about to happen.
Nick: Yeah. So you continue upwards. No one really stops to challenge you, and the camera room is easy enough to find - it's labeled, and Juno looks in and then angrily ducks backwards out of the way and looks to Birdie and says,
Nick (as Juno): There's like, a lot of people in there. Like both shifts are currently in there right now.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh.
Nick (as Juno): I can walk in and just start trying to order people around, but I don't think that's like a great idea~.
Kit (as Birdie): Um.
Nick (as Juno): I am open to suggestions. You're pretty good at things.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm good at distractions, and I'm good at lying. Um
Nick (as Juno): You could lie about a distraction, I don't know.
Kit (as Birdie): Unfortunately, I really -
Nick: And as you're talking, you are interrupted by two or three Ramp Girls leaving the camera room. They see you and Juno standing by the doorway talking, and then Juno puffs up their chest and indicates their insignia, and they all salute very hurriedly. And Juno says,
Nick (as Juno): As you were, cadets, uh privates, uh fellow Ramp Girls.
Nick: And they give him kind of a strange look and then head away.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] You gotta be more confident than that.
Nick (as Juno): Hey, it worked.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Yeah but not -
Nick (as Juno): I find -
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] - calling them three different things... Never mind. It's okay.
Nick (as Juno): Yeah, but like being weird also makes people uncomfortable, and then they don't want to talk to you, at least in my experience.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Okay.
Nick (as Juno): So now there's like three people in there instead of six.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Okay, they're likely a lower rank than you. We should make it so that it's a um, one - you know, like those drop ins that they do at work of like, progress checks, or making sure that everyone's doing their job and stuff? They probably have those here, of making sure that everyone's staying on task. And like maybe you can - here.
Kit: And Birdie is going to turn around and take out a notepad, just a spiral at the top, plain yellow paper notepad and a pen, and will hand it to Juno.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Just write things down about them, make it feel like you're the one watching them. Okay?
Nick (as Juno): Okay, sure. Are you coming or are you staying out in the hall?
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] I can come with and say that you were giving like, yeah, we're related, so I'm allowed to be at you like your work. I guess it's nothing massive, right?
Nick (as Juno): Sure.
Nick: And Juno, looking bemusedly into this whole plan, just spins on a heel and walks into the room and says,
Nick (as Juno): As you were Ramp Girls. This is an inspection!
Nick: And I need to roll a yellow and a green versus two purple with two blue die, please. He's not the best liar, but he's in a uniform.
Kit: Can I assist in this?
Nick: Yeah, you could absolutely assist. How are you assisting with the original convincingness?
Kit: Birdie is stepping in alongside Juno and giving a friendly wave and saying,
Kit (as Birdie): Don't mind us. Just my sibling here wanted to show how the procedures are done around here, so you won't even know we're here.
Kit: And she'll give a very winning and convincing smile.
Nick: Sure you are better at both aspects of lying, so what is your Deception score?
Kit: I have two ranks in it, so it's two yellows and a green.
Nick: So that'll upgrade the check, so it'll be two greens and a yellow, versus two purples with two blue as the check, because we'll use the total pool from Birdie but his skill, because that's how assisting works when somebody's better at stuff.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: One success, four advantages.
Nick: Huh! Yeah so especially with your help, Birdie, as they were looking a little confused in this room, you see that there are three low rank Ramp Girls. It is a man and two women wearing just standard uniforms. All three of them have matching haircuts. One of them is standing around looking at the cameras, and the other two are seated at swivel chairs in front of a bank of monitors, and they look confused. And then when Juno pulls out the notepad that you handed them and writes
Nick (as Juno): [dictating as writing] Did not salute upon beginning of inspection.
Nick: They all salute and try to look really busy and distracted. Juno elbows you, Birdie, and gives a big smile and nods like, hey, it's working. This is great.
Kit: Birdie will giggle a little bit, to add to the shame of these three Ramp Girl recruits and then lean up against the wall very confidently and wait for Juno to do the same, because it's just better to be relaxed.
Nick: Juno leans back on the wall. He is scribbling periodically. Birdie you can see on the notepad that he's not even writing. He's just drawing random lines, and he is very closely watching the cameras, and you can actually see looking from monitor to monitor Emma heading down across different camera feeds towards the deep basement where the evidence cages are, and we are going to cut away to Marathon. Marathon, you are still well outside of the Ramp Girls Headquarters, where are you and what are you up to?
Penn: Marathon is grinding across one of the edges of the buildings elevated above the Ramp Girl Headquarters. She's gaining momentum and starting to move faster and faster. Right now she's in a busted up version of one of Zan's old Hellcat X Bike crash uniforms, and has some crash goggles up on her head, and has what would be messy bangs tied up behind her hair.
Nick: The route that you picked out with your skating compatriots when you were scouting out this area is pretty long and highly elevated, and you find yourself picking up speed very quickly as you approach Ramp Girl's Headquarters, and there is a break in the line that you are grinding that is about a story drop to the next part of the rail, and I need you to roll me a hard Athletics check to see how well you are able to stick this route.
Penn: I'm rolling four yellows versus three purples.
[dice rolling]
Penn: I rolled more failures than successes on this first roll, so I'm going to use my Natural talent to re-roll Athletics this session.
[dice rolling]
Penn: Two successes and a threat.
Nick: Okay, so that threat will go towards the threat counter, but you are successful on this first piece of this infiltration line that you have scouted out.
Penn: As Marathon approaches this gap in coverage, we see her - to continue the momentum, she starts to crouch down and then time slows as a palm hits the very corner of this building and she twists into a handspring and launches herself off of her arm up into the air and across this ledge before landing with the sound of her skates just barely sparking up the concrete as she continues with these grav skates down the path.
Nick: The next part of this route brings you to a rooftop that you wouldn't have been able to get to any other way and this is the last stretch of this planned infiltration that will get you into the third floor of the Ramp Girls Headquarters. What is that going to look like? What level of acrobatics are you about to do to get through a window that nobody should be able to reach?
Penn: As Marathon's momentum has almost reached the height of what she needs as she reaches the end of this building, she plans to follow it down vertically and use the momentum once she hits the ground to continue forward and back up the side of the Ramp Girls Headquarters.
Nick: And right before you drop in, you have the errant thought that you're happy that Cassidy didn't have you explain what your plan was before you did it. Go ahead and roll me a Coordination check at hard difficulty, and I am going to flip my GM Story Point to upgrade that difficulty to two purples and a red.
Penn: I am rolling two yellow and two green against a red and two purples.
[dice rolling]
Penn: Three successes and three threats.
Nick: [joyful GM laughter] Okay, so with those threats, you're going to make a decent amount of noise, Marathon, on the way in. Not so much that it's going to completely blow your cover, but enough that you're going to need to rush to get away from the location of entry. So otherwise, you are successful.
Penn: As Marathon launches off of the edge of this building, grabbing the corner again to carry her momentum downwards in a pivot - as she free falls, her skates come off the side of the building just a little bit before she tucks and is able to adjust her position in the air to re-establish ground between these grav skates and the building. As she's about to hit the ground, we see a tiny little half pipe that looks just like some sort of loose metal or detritus that was placed there long before. She scoops off of that and continues just about 20 yards and slides before jumping up and continuing her momentum up the side of the Ramp Girl's Headquarters. And as she approaches the window on this top floor that she's trying to reach, her skates just start to stall out, and she just gets her fingertips onto the ledge as gravity starts to reclaim her downward and she pulls herself through this window - it's very fortunately open - unzips this crash suit, stuffs it in the corner of this hallway that she's just entered, and brushes off a very cleanly pressed Ramp Girl's uniform.
Nick: You hurry away from the window because you know there was a decent amount of noise made as you clattered in and you don't want to be standing next to that if someone comes to investigate. But otherwise, you have pulled off your plan completely scot free, and you are free to begin looking for the custom logs that you were supposed to be stealing.
Penn (as Marathon): All right, time to peek through some rooms.
Penn: Marathon takes a breath in out, lets her hair back down and whispers to herself,
Penn (as Marathon): You're Crashout. It's Crashout's time to shine.
Nick: We get a quick view of Juno and Birdie in the camera room. Luckily, the window that you entered is not on a direct view of the camera, but Juno, very subtly, points out a camera screen where you can see Marathon in a freshly pressed uniform, working her way around on the third floor, checking rooms in a very nonchalant and subtle way.
Kit: Birdie will use the sign language that the Foundlings and Vaus had developed for Vaus specifically, and will sign to Juno.
Kit (as Birdie): [signed] Where the fuck did she come from?
Nick: Juno does a sign back to Birdie that you haven't seen since Zan used to do it, and does a complicated hand gesture that just means sick tricks.
Kit: Birdie will just sigh again and continue watching.
Nick: And we are going to cut back to the basement as Emma arrives down deep in the basement of the Ramp Girls Headquarters in a large warehouse like room with steel shelves covered in boxes, and in the far end of this big, cavernous room a cage made of chain link fence, and you were supposed to deliver this somewhere down here.
Cameron: Emma, knowing that Cassidy was entering through the vents, and is probably down here somewhere at this point, is not moving as quietly as she probably normally would. She's scuffing her feet as she walks a little bit to try to make enough noise that it would cause people, including Cassidy, to notice that she was there. Emma makes her way back towards the cage at the other side of the room, peeking around as she does to one, continue her story that she's new and maybe she hasn't been sent down here before, so while she may have seen it during the official tour that I assume that they give the Ramp Girls when they start, she didn't have a lot of time to peek around and also just seeing if she could figure out if Cassidy is out of the vents yet. But she makes her way back towards the cage.
Sydney: Cassidy is still in the vents, although as she hears incoming footsteps from another person, she does slightly reposition trying to get an angle to see what is transpiring.
Nick: You can see from your position that it is a Ramp Girl and then as she turns around a corner and starts heading towards the main counter, you can see that it is Emma carrying a very heavy looking bit of paperwork, and Emma, as you approach the counter, you see what sort of looks like a mummified person. She has gray hair that's been stained yellow with nicotine, and she seems almost a part of the furniture, and there is a cigarette in an ashtray just looping smoke up as you approach. And she locks beady eyes with you Emma, and waits for you to explain why you're down here without saying anything.
Sydney: As Emma starts approaching the desk, Cassidy starts looking around at the nearby vents for which one is gonna be best to drop down, expecting that since Emma is here, she'll probably be able to provide an opening.
Cameron (as Emma): Good evening. I was told to deliver this down here?
Cameron: And Emma holds up this giant stack of bound papers as an offering.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): The Colonel couldn't be bothered to come down herself, huh?
Cameron (as Emma): She seemed very busy.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Well, put it there on the counter. Let's take a look.
Cameron: Emma thwomps it down on the counter.
Nick: The bang of the paper as it hits the counter makes the lady jump, and then she gives you a slight glare and starts fingering through the pages at a high speed.
Cameron (as Emma): I am so sorry. It is - it was heav- [tired short sigh] I kind of lost feeling in my fingers.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): This is weeks late. Weeks late, and she turns it in now? That's ridiculous. How could you bring this to me in such a state? Look, she's missing things on rows A through F, just on page two. It's an embarrassment to the Ramp Girls.
Cameron (as Emma): I'm terribly sorry I didn't look at it. I just brought it when she told me to.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Well, you have two options. Either you could try and fill it out correctly, or you can march it right back up there and tell her to fill it out correctly herself. Although I can tell you, the Colonel is not particularly helpful or kind to people who point out her mistakes. You seem new. Are you new?
Cameron (as Emma): [suddenly sounding nervous] Yeah, I've been here two weeks.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Well, you drew a crap detail, I'll tell you that. Anybody who has to bring stuff down here to me is already off to a bad start. What did you do that got you stuck on this duty?
Cameron (as Emma): Well, my my shifts actually over. Um, I think I just I happened to walk by her desk at a inopportune time.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Oh, it's bad luck, but you're not gonna be getting any help from me, because it'll just make my job harder. So are you gonna try to fill this out correctly yourself?
Cameron (as Emma): I -
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Or are you gonna go tell your boss's boss's boss that she sucks at her job?
Cameron (as Emma): I definitely not doing that second one. Do you have a pen I could borrow?
Nick: She takes a long drag on the cigarette before tapping it back into the ashtray and putting it down, and then reaches under the desk, and there's a clatter as she puts a pen on the counter that has one of those little ball chains that has it affixed somewhere on the floor.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Just don't try to walk off with it.
Cameron (as Emma): Of course not. Um sorry, what did you say was missing from page three?
Cameron: Emma now has the pen in hand and is looking at this page upside down, where this person's holding it.
Nick (as Evidence Cage Boss): Look, there shouldn't be any empty boxes and there's so many empty boxes. I think she maybe even missed this page entirely. So you're gonna need case number, evidence number, reference number, signature here, initial there, and if the signature looks close enough, I won't say anything, because it's not worth the hassle.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay. Okay. I'll just scoot to the side and do this then.
Nick: Cassidy, you don't catch all of this, but you catch enough of it to realize that Emma is now a hostage being forced to fill out paperwork down here, instead of being able to do what she was planning on doing.
Sydney: While Emma is asking questions and trying to get clarifications, seeing how terribly thick this document is, Cassidy works forward to a vent that would drop her down into the central evidence cage behind this officer in charge of documentation, hoping that the evidence logs that she needs will not be on the desk that is currently manned, but she expects that Emma entertaining her or bothering her is enough that she can drop down and move about somewhat freely.
Nick: Yeah. So go ahead and make me a hard Stealth check with a blue die, because Emma is providing a distraction. You should know that it would be a much harder check, except that you did so well in the vent so far, you know how to remove the grating silently, which is a big deal.
Sydney: So then I am rolling a yellow and four greens against three purples plus a blue.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: A success and an advantage.
Nick: So you were able to drop down into this area without creating any noise or drawing the attention of the clerk. Emma, you actually see Cassidy come down out of the ceiling silently and work to not give anything away while you're continuing to do paperwork. Cassidy, I need a Perception check from you to search through this area and find the specific logs that you were supposed to modify, and Emma, I need a Charm check from you to keep the clerk distracted. They're both going to be hard difficulty.
Sydney: I am rolling two yellows and a green against three purples.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: Two successes and a threat.
Cameron: Can I have a blue die for obviously trying to make sure that the paperwork is correct to make her life easier?
Nick: Sure.
Cameron: Thank you. And then I'm still gonna flip a Story Point [laughing], because Charm is not my strong suit. So I've got two yellows, a blue and three purples.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: Two successes and a Triumph.
Nick: Wow. So yeah, you're able to keep her very distracted and Cassidy, you are able to find the logs that you need to modify. What do you want to spend that Triumph on?
Cameron: While I'm here filling out what I'm assuming is multiple pages that were missed in this giant packet, Emma starts questioning the evidence cage boss about how long has she worked with the Ramp Girls? Has she always been in charge of the evidence cage like, what's the craziest piece of evidence that's ever come in? The goal with this line of questioning is to acquire information and have her say information out loud that would be beneficial to Cassidy when she is modifying these logs. So like shift information, is it always one person who does the logs, or are they in shifts? Whatever any information to help with the accurate copying and modifying.
Nick: Yeah, that is very doable, especially with the Triumph. So Cassidy, you are able to find the logs that Opal specified. You are supposed to be changing who checked specific evidence in and who it belonged to. Opal gave you a list of specific case numbers and specific evidence details that you are supposed to change. You are surprised at the level of detail that the information you already had provided by Opal, because it shows a level of understanding where you wonder why you have to be the one to modify it in the first place if she already knows all this, but that was the job. And you are able to find the appropriate log pretty easily. Luckily, it is not the one that was on the desk being worked on by the clerk, do you got pretty lucky there. I need you to make me a Classical Knowledge check at average difficulty, but you do have two blue die because as you are trying to change this information and fill it in, you keep noticing that the clerk is talking about similar things to what you're doing and basically giving you tips indirectly about how to fill it out in a way that it looks like it was modified officially, rather than spoofed or falsified.
Sydney: I'm gonna use my basic human talent Ready For Anything to once per session move a Story Point from the GM pool to the Player pool.
Nick: Rude.
Sydney: And then I'm gonna spend it on - spend a Story Point to upgrade this roll. So that takes me to two yellows and the two blues against two purples.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: Two advantages.
Nick: Okay, so you're not going to fail necessarily. It's just a lot more information to get down than you thought. So you find yourself just really hoping that Emma is able to keep this clerk's attention long enough for you to finish it up.
Sydney: So Cassidy is doing her best to try and imitate the handwriting that the other people that were around it in the evidence log. She brought in a crappy, mass produced pen in an attempt to not be anything specific, but it annoys her when she has to try and use it, because it's not one of her fancy calligraphy pens. And she's just spending a lot of effort trying to make it perfect, and it probably doesn't need to be, based on some of the conversations that she overheard snippets of, but until she gets pressured off of being able to do it, she's gonna try and do it as right as possible.
Nick: And Emma, you noticed that Cassidy is spending a lot of time writing. She's not within direct line of sight of you, but you haven't seen her climb back up into the vents. She's been spending a lot of time back there and you are running out of paperwork to fill out with this lady, and we are going to cut away back to Marathon. Marathon, you are now up on the top floor of the Ramp Girls HQ, and you are in the process of looking for the customs logs that you are supposed to steal.
Penn (as Marathon): Okay, Mary, you gotta find entry, exit logs. Where would they put papers that say where people come in and come out?
Nick: Go ahead and make me a average Perception check, but with a black die because you are trying to look nonchalant to see if you can find the correct room.
Penn: So I am rolling three green against one black and two purple.
[dice rolling]
Penn: One threat.
Nick: So Marathon, you start looking around. You start at one end of the building and making your way towards the other, but a lot of these doors are locked, a lot of them don't have lights on, and you're just struggling to find any sort of room directory, or anything like that, so it's kind of a struggle. And you turn the corner down a new hallway and bump straight into two other Ramp Girls that are of moderate rank and look kind of confused about why you're up here.
Penn: Marathon snaps into a practiced salute, like she'd talked about with Birdie beforehand, fingers at her forehead and her arm down in 45 degree angle, and in her head she's repeating
Penn (as Marathon): [in her head] Like a ramp. Like a ramp.
Nick: One of the officers looks at you and does a salute back and says,
Nick (as Ramp Girl): At ease, Ramp Girl. What are you doing up here? This isn't your assigned location at all.
Penn (as Marathon): No, it isn't actually. Um. Crashout, ma'am. I was assigned to find some entry exit logs for Major Karma.
Nick (as Ramp Girl): Private Crashout? I haven't heard of you, but,
Penn (as Marathon): [bit panicked] Um uh, well, actually, I'm, I'm pretty new. I'm launching up the ranks. Uh, I'm one of Opal's nieces.
Nick (as Ramp Girl): Huh.
Penn (as Marathon): So
Nick (as Ramp Girl): Interesting.
Penn (as Marathon): I'm just looking to make a name for myself.
Penn: Marathon stands up straight and puts her hands together in front of her.
Nick: Go ahead and roll the a hard Deception check please with a blue die, because you are wearing a uniform.
Penn: I'm rolling three greens and a blue against three purples.
[dice rolling]
Penn: That's just a failure.
Nick: Okay. They both look at you kind of suspiciously.
Nick (as Ramp Girl): I feel like we would know if a relative of Opal was assigned here.
Penn (as Marathon): That's because um, Wander was also involved because if Wander catches wind of me being here, I might, I might be dead. So it's kind of, it's kind of secret.
Nick (as Ramp Girl): Wow.
Penn: And Marathon is sweating right now. [laugh]
Nick (as Ramp Girl): What a tangled web of council people that you seem to find yourself stuck in, Private Crashout. That's very interesting.
Nick: And I'm going to flip my other GM Story Point that I have, and the other officer that's been quiet so far says,
Nick (as Other Ramp Girl): Are you Marathon Messenger?
Penn: At that Marathon does a quick jab in the face of this Ramp Girl, and then will try and quickly dispatch the other one in a headlock and punch.
Nick: All right, make me a average Brawl check.
Penn: Well luckily, I'm good at punching, so I'm rolling four yellows and a green against two purples.
[dice rolling]
Penn: Two successes, two Triumphs, and three advantages.
Nick: Wow.
Penn: And because Marathon is so quickly able to drop her knuckles from her sleeve, I'd say that this will be probably some devastating hits.
Nick: Yeah, pretty devastating. Those Triumphs can be Crits and Crits can just straight knock these two people out, so how do you knock these two people out in one quick flurry, and then what do you do with them?
Penn: As she punches this first person in their face, their glasses crack and bend and they just fall from straight standing, and before they're even tipping backwards, Marathon has this other ranking member of the Ramp Girls headlocked and just chokes them out slowly, bringing them to the ground.
Nick: From there, we cut to Birdie and judo in the camera room. Birdie, you were watching the screen with Marathon talking to these two people. You don't know if the other people monitoring the cameras are looking at that screen, and you see the brief flicker of motion that is Marathon dropping the brass knuckles out of her sleeve. What do you do to try to cover for her before she's seen fighting these two people on camera?
Kit (as Birdie): You guys are doing a really great job so far. This is really interesting. I'm doing a project on Ramp Girls for my business operations class, and I wanted to ask, if you guys know where the restroom was? Juno doesn't normally work on this floor, so figured I'd ask?
Kit: And she's just gonna give another winning smile and urge Juno mentally to not say anything.
Nick: Okay, make me a hard Charm check please to see if you can distract all three of them from the cameras in a very quick time.
Kit: So that is going to be two yellow, one green and three purple. Two successes and the threat.
Nick: Yeah, you're able to get everyone's attention, looking over their shoulders as you are chattering at them, trying to keep them from looking at the screens. The last thing you see is a pair of boots being dragged off of the camera as Marathon tries to find somewhere to put these people who are now unconscious. And then the next thing you see Birdie is Karma, who is walking from screen to screen, and you can see is rapidly approaching the camera room, actually.
Kit (as Birdie): [in her head] You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Kit: That is what she's thinking to herself right now. Birdie will quickly remedy the situation by being like,
Kit (as Birdie): Sorry, you guys are on duty. I'll find it myself. I'm sure it's not too far away.
Kit: And will just leave to try and intercept Karma as soon as she deems Karma to be close enough to conveniently intercept.
Nick: Yep, you have just enough time to duck out of the camera room. You hear Juno say,
Nick (as Juno): Well, bye. I guess I'll just maintain supervision in here.
Nick: Birdie, you quickly shut the door and Karma bumps into you.
Sydney (as Karma): Birdie, what a surprise. You're in the office. In my office.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, I had no idea that you'd be in right now, it's really late. Um, hi, Karma.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind