Marathon and Birdie make some impulsive decisions and the Patina races their hearts out.
Marathon and Birdie make some impulsive decisions and the Patina races their hearts out.
Cast:
- Marathon Messenger is played by Penn Van Batavia. She can be found on Twitter at @acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram at @john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE *IT* OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
- Cassidy Shard is played by Sydney Whittington. She is our wonderful editor. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast. Find her on Twitter at @sydney_whitt.
- Emma Blackwood is played by Cameron Robertson. Find her on Twitter at @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram at @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
- Birdie Foundling is played by Kit Adames. Find her on Twitter at @venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor and writer on Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
- Our GM and narrator is Nick Robertson. Find him on Twitter at @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron and can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
Music & Sound Credits:
- This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
- old radio Channel search sound effect by Garuda1982. Link & License.
- Cardiff Indoor Market by odilonmarcenaro. Link & License.
- Hypocritopotamus by Doctor Turtle. Link & License.
- Today’s Special: Jam Tomorrow by Doctor Turtle. Link & License.
- Remember Alexis Zorbas (ID 1340) by Lobo Loco. Link & License.
Art Credits:
- The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.
Find Us Online:
- Our Website
- Twitter
- Join our Patreon
- Join our Discord
A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 39: Adrenaline Junkie Hobbies
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
One bit, two bits, three bits, a dollar. All for the listeners, stand up and holler. [sound of standing up and hollering(?)] That’s right, you deserve to be hollered about. Even if somehow this is the first episode you’ve listened to, all of our listeners deserve a holler or two. How could we deny you when you’re that awesome?
But if this isn’t your first episode, and you don’t want to wait two weeks for more, consider backing our Patreon, which gives you access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 39: Adrenaline Junkie Hobbies. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Penn (as Marathon): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, [singing] I got a girlfriend and her name is Cassidy Shard and she is so awesome and cute and sweet and smart and funny and cool and~ [singing stops and now it’s just sappy] just like all around amazing. Oh my god and she’s all my girlfriend. Oh baby! She likes me back! We’re going to have adult conversations about shit and like, oh my god Cassidy Shard is my girlfriend. My girlfriend Cassidy Shard.
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: Merchant Alley is bustling this afternoon, as we see Birdie and Marathon walking arm in arm down the street, dodging crowds and chatting. They find themselves in front of a unassuming looking shop that just says 'Modifications' across the front. What does the inside of the shop look like?
Kit: The Modification interior is very much in the vein of an old dive bar - decades of posters stapled on top of one another, there are random neon signs and bras are hanging from the rafters. It almost reads more as a dive bar than as a place where people go to get insert modification here done.
Penn: And on top of that, just to add to the energy, there is a deeply stained carpet going throughout the whole of this building, only disrupted by futuristic looking machines for different sorts of body modifications that we might not even be aware of.
Nick: The walls of this hangout are lined with mirrors in between the posters and leather reclining chairs that can swivel and the receptionist wants to know what sort of modifications you all have arrived here for. There are chalkboards posting the names of the different modifiers and what services they're offering for the day. You all have many options.
Penn: Marathon rubs her hands together excitedly and tilts to Birdie to whisper quietly,
Penn (as Marathon): [quietly] Time to make some bad decisions.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how bad. Should we limit the severity, or she'll be like, just go all out?
Penn (as Marathon): [quietly] No, full. Let's go all in.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Okay.
Penn (as Marathon): [quietly] It's a time of celebration,
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] Mhm.
Penn (as Marathon): [quietly] - [soft laugh] and you gotta get that jank hair cut fixed. I am sorry.
Kit: Birdie pets her minorly lopsided bob that occurred after the acid incident in the Guts incident.
Kit (as Birdie): Ah, yeah. Okay, okay. Um,
Kit: And Birdie will lean in to the receptionist and say,
Kit (as Birdie): Do I need three different things of paperwork for a haircut and two piercings?
Nick (as Receptionist): Oh, no, the forms are all combined. It's just one thing. In fact, we've got a piercer who also does haircuts in towards the back.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, hell yeah.
Nick (as Receptionist): We strive to be a convenient one stop shop.
Penn (as Marathon): [laughing] Convenient.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. I mean, my friend Vaus really recommended you guys. So I'm -
Nick (as Receptionist): Oh, you know Vaus?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, they're like my older sibling's - we're close.
Nick (as Receptionist): Vaus is a legend around here. You should have said something sooner. Right this way.
Nick: And you are led to two chairs towards the back.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh I - okay, yeah um. Cool.
Nick: Marathon you're shepherded along without really getting a chance to say anything.
Penn (as Marathon): But I didn't sign - okay. Mhm.
Kit (as Birdie): [quietly] What, what are you getting done?
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, I don't know yet. [laugh] Um, I guess I did need a haircut.
Nick: The person behind your chair Marathon huffs and puts a bone saw away and pulls out some scissors instead.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh [slightly uncomfortable laugh]. Um, yeah, of course. Um~, I think - is it too tame for me to just get my lip and my eyebrow done and a haircut? I'm not gonna go like crazy.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh come on~. Go crazy!
Kit (as Birdie): I have to race soon. I can't get anything like super out there done, especially like, if I wanted to do like, dermals or something, I would worry about them getting like, torn out or something.
Penn (as Marathon): Ah okay.
Kit: And she holds her hands up to her collarbones, where she's often thought about getting dermal piercings and just cringing inwardly.
Penn (as Marathon): Okay, how about we play something then. I'll make sure to pick something safe. You get, you get, you get your plans. I'll pick something tamer for you.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay?
Penn (as Marathon): And you can pick anything for me. I'm down.
Kit (as Birdie): Any-? Marathon that's dangerous.
Penn (as Marathon): [laughing] I - it's it's only dangerous if you're gonna make it dangerous.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay. Okay, okay, I'll - okay.
Kit: And Birdie will reach out and put her hand out to shake.
Penn: Marathon goes for a very strong handshake and flexes.
Kit (as Birdie): Do you flex every time you have handshakes?
Penn (as Marathon): Just when I'm trying to flex.
Nick: So Birdie and Marathon swivel their chairs away from each other and fill out each other's paperwork before handing it across to their respective modifiers and the artists get to work while the two of you have some time to burn as haircuts and various other things take place.
Kit (as Birdie): [energetic inhale] Fuck, Marry, Kill: Gwen, Contagion, an Acidmouth.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, tough. Okay, hmm. [blows out breath] Gwen kind of scares me, but she seems responsible so marry, I guess. She overworks it seems like as well, but um [deep breath] and Contagion has too much chemistry with Cassidy, so kill.
Kit (as Birdie): [choking on laughter]
Penn (as Marathon): And then, oh yeah, don't worry - I got plenty of attention for Acidmouth.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh! Okay. [loud giggle]
Penn (as Marathon): How about you?
Kit (as Birdie): Um, you know, yeah, so Gwen is responsible, but like, I feel like she's too responsible, like she would be miserable, so I would be like a mercy killing.
Penn (as Marathon): [chuckle]
Kit (as Birdie): So I think I would have to marry Contagion, because I feel like they seem like a good balance of, like, has adrenaline junkie hobbies, but also seemed like pretty down to earth - was rightfully a little bit miffed, or, you know, kind of was like, I'm not going to, like, feed into your trash talk to me when we were in the match, which is very fair - I just like getting caught up in the moment, because that's what X Biking is about. Whatever it's fine.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, [overlapping] you're in the hype.
Kit (as Birdie): - [overlapping] so marry Contagion - [end overlap] yes! Exactly. So yes, marry Contagion and I, yeah, Acidmouth all the way.
Penn (as Marathon): Aw shoot, that's a lot of hair on the ground. [deep breath]
Kit (as Birdie): [laugh] For which one of us? Both, I guess.
Penn (as Marathon): They both look like a shade of red, so I can't totally tell.
Kit (as Birdie): [giggle] [mock yelling] Why are we both ginger?!
Penn: Marathon shifts awkwardly in this barber's chair as she notices all of the hair on the ground.
Penn (as Marathon): Can we do something like unique up top with this?
Nick: And after a little more time and some more sessions of Fuck, Marry, Kill, you two are both turned around to reveal your new styles. What sort of modifications have been done?
Penn: Marathon's new haircut is definitely unique compared to her last haircut. Before she had the cool, shaggy mullet, and now she has her sides shaved, the top of her head is in a broccoli head perm, but she was a little bit scared to lose the length in the back, and so she's still got a straight mullet going on down the back a little bit to go with this strange half permed cut.
Kit (as Birdie): [slightly strangled sounding] Oh~. [giggle]
Penn: She looks at Birdie with wide eyes and a big hopeful smile.
Penn (as Marathon): Ah? Ah~?.
Kit: Birdie looks at Marathon for a second, and her face is a little just dumbfounded and then she's like,
Kit (as Birdie): You know what? It's growing on me. Second by second, it really is. I like it. I like it Marathon. It's very you. I like it.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, thank god. I didn't really know what a - I knew my nana got perms. I was hoping I don't look like my Nana. Well, I'll have to see in the mirror soon, but you look amazing. Oh my god.
Kit (as Birdie): Aww.
Kit: And Birdie will run her hand over the back of her neck, which is now bare because she's not used to having this short of hair at all. Her hair is cut very short all the way around, with her temples shaved and she kept a little bit of her baby bangs in front so her hair all around is no longer than 2 to 2.5 inches in a sleek pixie cut mohawk. And she will feel at all of the ends of her hair, and will only look mildly perturbed at how light her head is when she moves it now.
Kit (as Birdie): This is, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I had like, really short hair as a kid um,
Penn (as Marathon): This is a big change for you.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, I've had, I mean, I've had, like, the braids since I was like 14. So it's been like 10 years since I've had anything shorter than a bob, but I think, I think it looks nice. I think we both look nice. This is good. This was good.
Penn (as Marathon): Yes, it's a good idea. And, you know, it may be drastic, but there's more to come.
Penn: And Marathon gives a devious smile.
Kit (as Birdie): [scared laugh] Yeah?
Penn (as Marathon): I think we were scheduled for some some piercings and such?
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm.
Penn: Marathon calls to the barber.
Nick: And we see a exuberant flurry of needles and piercing paraphernalia before jump ahead post additional modification. What piercings did Birdie and Marathon get for each other?
Kit: Marathon received from Birdie two sets of lower lip piercings, so four piercings in total, with two closer to the outer corners and then two slightly in from those - they're formerly called shark bites and snake bites. But Birdie takes one look at Marathon and goes,
Kit (as Birdie): [squeal] It's so good!
Penn (as Marathon): Thank you. My lip kind of hurts, but
Kit (as Birdie): I'm sorry. [so pumped] It looks really good.
Penn (as Marathon): I feel like I look sick as hell. [long exhale] I also got a belly button piercing in there too. I hope that was all right. I saw yours - I was kind of jealous when we went swimming a while ago.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh my gosh, yes. Everyone should have belly button piercings. They're so fun.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh my gosh, I love these.
Penn: And Marathon brings her fingers up to her lip and accidentally taps them when she's admiring them.
Penn (as Marathon): Ah oh [clears throat to ignore pain] Well, thank you. I -
Kit (as Birdie): Of course!
Penn (as Marathon): I don't want to use the word - well, I'll just have to use the word feel, because I don't like how that feels on my lip right now, but anyway, oh. Thank you, Birdie. I love it.
Kit (as Birdie): [all of Kit's dreams of Marathon piercing fan art coming true] Of course! Yes, of course.
Penn (as Marathon): I hope you're ready for some surprises as well.
Kit (as Birdie): [sure sounds totally ready...] Yeah! [nervous laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): [laugh]
Kit: And Birdie will try not to look frightened.
Nick: And we flash forward yet again, what did Birdie end up with?
Penn: As Birdie turns to see the mirror, Marathon is very eagerly awaiting with a devious smile behind her shoulder, and she can see she has a couple of small new gages that are some light green, tiny gages for now that can be sized up later, as well as something a little bit more drastic. It almost looks like a face tattoo, but it's raised a little bit and glowing. There's six little silicone stars implanted along Birdie sideburn area and jaw line, going into her jawline, shaped in the pattern of one of the common constellations that surround Sasnak's view of the broken moon - the Rider, one of Sasnak's favorite constellations for obvious reasons.
Penn (as Marathon): Okay, I know it's extra drastic, and I know that probably hurt to get those things in there, but as soon as I saw somebody rocking it in here, I was like, 'Oh, I'm stealing that for Birdie.'
Kit: Birdie is leaning in close to the mirror and gingerly touching the raised areas, like not enough to where any pressure at all is applied, but just to feel the raised bumps. And she's like,
Kit (as Birdie): This is so cool. Oh my gosh Vaus is gonna freak!
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, okay, I'm glad you like it.
Kit (as Birdie): They've been wanting stuff like this for a long time.
Penn (as Marathon): [so pleased with herself that she's slightly hyperventilating]
Kit (as Birdie): These are so cool Marathon. [giggles]
Penn (as Marathon): [overlapping] Yeah you look cute in it.
Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] I was always scared of [end overlap] getting gages because I was, I was kind of afraid that they'd like, I'd like mess them up or something, so
Penn (as Marathon): Nah.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm really excited about them.
Penn (as Marathon): Nah, they look sick. I've always thought you'd look great with gages, so I was very happy for this opportunity. What are those other piercings you got on there?
Kit: Birdie will pull her lower lip back a little bit to show that she has one new formal piercing in the center of her lower lip, just above her chin, and say,
Kit (as Birdie): [very difficult to understand cause said with mouth open to show off piercing] I got a labret.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh my god matching lip piercings!
Kit (as Birdie): [excited yeeee noise] Yea- oh god, Emma and Cassidy have no clue that we are doing this. [laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): Wait how long till I can kiss?
Kit (as Birdie): Oh~, whoops.
Penn (as Marathon): Shoot.
Kit (as Birdie): You can kiss - you can kiss a couple, like, like a like, a couple of days, or, like a week. It's just like -
Penn (as Marathon): And we just became girlfriends!
Kit (as Birdie): Wait what? [shrieked] You what?
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, shoot. [laugh] I broke it.
Kit (as Birdie): I didn't know you guys were actually -
Penn (as Marathon): I - yeah, yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): I heard you yelling the other night.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, I meant to tell you over dinner. Um~
Kit (as Birdie): I thought that you were like sleep talking about how much you wanted to be girlfriends with Cassidy.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh no, no. [short laugh] No.
Penn: And Marathon looks a little sad at her piercings, but then it's like,
Penn (as Marathon): No, I look I look cool.
Penn (as Marathon): Uh yeah, yeah, things are working out pretty well right now.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm really glad. Oh my gosh - I'm so glad for you Marathon.
Kit: And she'll lean in and hug Marathon congratulations, and then bump the side of her face that she just received.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh ouch.
Kit (as Birdie): Sorry sorry.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): Sorry.
Penn (as Marathon): [clears throat]
Kit (as Birdie): And then what - did you get anything on top of your piercings and your haircut?
Penn (as Marathon): Uh, I was thinking about getting some glowy eye stuff, but I think I'm gonna save that for next time.
Kit (as Birdie): Well, if you, I mean, if you're curious about you can always talk to Vaus about it.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, maybe I will before we get out of here.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, because they got theirs inked.
Penn (as Marathon): I think I trust Vaus near my eyes a little bit more if you know, you know. [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): [snort] You shouldn't. I'm joking. Mostly. Um, oh, this was so fun.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): Yay~
Penn (as Marathon): Oh my god, thank you. Let's go get some sunglasses and bust out of here like were the coolest cats in Sasnak.
Kit (as Birdie): Hell yeah.
Nick: And we see Birdie and Marathon kick the door to Modifications open wearing cool new sunglasses with new piercings and haircuts, like they're the coolest people in Sasnak, and they spend the rest of the afternoon drinking cold drinks and eating snacks and wandering around Merchant's Alley and end the day together. Where do we find Birdie and Marathon as the sun begins to set?
Penn: I think we're near where the ScavengHERs like to practice, and Birdie and Marathon are kind of on a higher vantage point overlooking some of the late night practices for the ScavengHERs X Bike team, and they're just going up and down hills and ramps and turning in pipes and doing all sorts of stunts and technical practice in what looks like almost a pit of junk and fallen debris from the last few Turnings.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, I'm feeling kind of exhausted from all the piercings earlier, but damn we looked cool.
Kit (as Birdie): We still look cool.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, very.
Kit: I think they're both in a game of let's try to move our lower lip as little as possible as they talk. So they do look, at least Birdie looks, really silly trying to move her face very minimally.
Penn: Marathon is doing the same positioning, and her eyes are also a little droopy since they've sat out here.
Penn (as Marathon): Will you - how you - how are you feeling about your family here? You ready for the big are you staying talk?
Kit (as Birdie): Mm uh,
Penn (as Marathon): I just, I just need to know, you know, friend to friend, what you're thinking, because I really miss you on the road.
Kit (as Birdie): I I think they know that I'm not staying, you know? They know that, since I'm - enough time has passed, I'm, you know, I'm my own person, and all of them have their own lives and their own jobs and I don't think any of them would expect me to stay just because, you know, I came back. But I don't know if it's a, I mean, I'll definitely have a conversation with them, just to make sure that they know so that we can try to maybe do some bucket list things, or hang out, spend time together as a family.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah there's, there's no blessing like when you know that something's gonna change than being able to savor the time before it.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm. Yeah, so I'll definitely now kind of be more prepared to visit in the future, and now I know that we can, you can communicate more easily, because now I also, I think I was really worried about my transmissions for so many years because I didn't know if anyone even still lived in the shipping container. So,
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah I mean, I don't think it will be as hard as I'm preparing myself for it to be to say goodbye, because I know it's not like forever goodbye, at least. Um, so yeah. I don't know. I'm not like, I don't think any of them will be upset about it, so there's nothing for me to really prepare myself for on the like super negative emotional front.
Penn (as Marathon): No, but have you told them yet?
Kit (as Birdie): No. I mean, I'll tell them maybe once the Finals are over. It'll probably take us a couple weeks to finish up, unless things go terribly wrong, and we still have to do everything with tie up loose ends with Winifred and stuff like that, make sure that -
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): - she has everything. And, you know, the Finals aren't like, the end of everything, especially if we don't win, which I have every faith that we can win the Finals, that's more just, you know.
Penn (as Marathon): [chuckle] Yeah, of course. You and Cassidy.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm. It's just up to fate a lot of times with X Biking, you never know. So it won't be - the Finals won't be like we're leaving the next day. So I'll probably tell them around then and we can have a talk about it. But I think I'm leaving them in a better place than when I found them, right? That's like the goal?
Penn: And as Marathon and Birdie are sitting there, and Marathon leaning back on her hands, we see one of the X Bikers not have enough momentum going up a ramp and start to free fall backward and launch themselves off the bike as they wipe out semi gracefully.
Kit (as Birdie): Ooo.
Penn (as Marathon): I think I think so. Think you're leaving them in a better place, and I'm - I just think they're probably grateful to know you're alive and kickin' and I know they would probably be grateful for the opportunity to have goodbye time with you, ample goodbye time, if you were thinking of leaving again - not that you have to leave forever.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, I guess it's more like anticipation for for me, it's bitter sweet, but you know, it's also nerves about anticipation for what we're gonna do next, I guess.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): Still gotta find where your things coming from, right?
Penn (as Marathon): Ah, my treasure. Who knows? Maybe somebody already picked it up. But we'll find - we'll get there. Maybe we'll steal back.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm. We are ruthless mercenaries.
Penn (as Marathon): [laugh] Yes, we are. We're proficient ruthless mercenaries.
Kit (as Birdie): With morals.
Penn (as Marathon): With morals, exactly.
Kit (as Birdie): [soft laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): But nah, you got this. I think you're getting really good at not just picking up and leaving. And I think as long as you keep up that pattern, we're all gonna be like, I mean, with them too, you know? I'm looking forward to what we got going next, and if you need any help, I know Emma is here, I know I'm here, I know Cassidy is also here, but you know, those kinds of conversations may be a little bit tougher for her, but -
Kit (as Birdie): No I -
Penn (as Marathon): - we're all here to help you give your goodbyes.
Kit (as Birdie): Thank you.
Penn: And Marathon tries to give a cheesy smile, and then puts her hand up to her lip.
Kit (as Birdie): [understanding laugh] Yeah. Pretty sore?
Penn (as Marathon): Mhm.
Kit (as Birdie): I bumped my with my tongue, like 20 minutes ago, and I thought I was gonna die.
Penn (as Marathon): Okay, but that one that you have,
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah?
Penn (as Marathon): Okay, um - I'm just gonna say so many good kisses. [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): [laugh] Uh huh.
Penn (as Marathon): Mhm.
Kit: And Birdie will punch Marathon's shoulder very lightly.
Kit (as Birdie): Well, I hope that yours heal fast so that you can give very many good kisses to Cassidy.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh yeah, I can't wait to show these off.
Kit (as Birdie): I think she'll like them.
Penn (as Marathon): I'm sure. [laugh]
Kit (as Birdie): [giggle]
Penn: A drip of sweat on the side of her head that Birdie can't see falls down as she gives a dismissive gesture, and more X Bikers continue to do flips down below.
Nick: The next thing we see is a external view as Marathon and Birdie return to the shipping container and Emma and Cassidy get their first look at their new styles.
Penn (as Marathon): - and we played this game where we picked some piercings for each other. So I didn't choose to not kiss you for a while, this is - but it does look cool, right?
Penn: And Marathon gestures to herself and Birdie in like a showing off a prize.
Sydney: Cassidy puts down the dish that she was cleaning and makes quick eye contact with Emma before looking back.
Sydney (as Cassidy): If you're happy with it, it's good.
Cameron (as Emma): Cassidy!
Kit (as Birdie): Cassidy~.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You look like a long run messenger.
Penn: Marathon holds her hands to her chest and stumbles backward, pretending she's been shot.
Cameron: Emma has just been sitting unmoving on the couch from when they first came in, and has her mouth slightly open and is running her tongue back and forth on the inside of her lower lip, just making a slightly pained looking expression.
Kit (as Birdie): It's, it's nice. Yes? [laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): You see the stars, right?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Penn (as Marathon): They glow!
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm.
Cameron (as Emma): I mean, I think, I think you both look adorable. My my lip hurts looking at you.
Penn (as Marathon): Thank you.
Cameron (as Emma): Especially you, Marathon, with the four.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm.
Penn (as Marathon): I don't look too much like, like orange cauliflower with this haircut?
Cameron (as Emma): Uh no.
Penn: Marathon gives puppy dog eyes to Cassidy. [laughing]
Cameron (as Emma): I think it looks fluffy. What do you think, Cassidy?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, you got a lot of volume there.
Kit (as Birdie): [surprised laughter]
Penn: Marathon kind of doubles over before giving a pained expression to her lip.
Kit (as Birdie): [kinda sounds like she's about to start crying from laughing] Cassidy~.
Cameron (as Emma): It's a lovely curl pattern. Lovely curl pattern.
Kit (as Birdie): [laughing] Cassidy is so stoic.
Penn (as Marathon): It'll grow.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Thank you. No, it's I once I get used to it, it'll be good.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah!
Sydney (as Cassidy): As long again, as long as long as you like it, it's all good.
Penn (as Marathon): I just can't get it wet for a while, but you should feel it with your hands. It's so fluffy.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [short laugh] Okay.
Sydney: Cassidy walks over and gives it a fluff.
Penn: Marathon bends her head a little bit.
Penn (as Marathon): Ey?
Sydney (as Cassidy): You know it's pretty fluffy.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, there we go.
Kit (as Birdie): Yay. [laugh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): Looks like an eventful day for y'all.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, kind of painful.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Mhm.
Kit (as Birdie): Ow.
Penn (as Marathon): I don't think I can use a straw for a while.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh, suction. Ow.
Kit (as Birdie): You can actually, you know, if you wrap your tongue around it and then, like, suck up through your tongue, you can actually use a straw. That's what I do when I have lipstick on on like, mmm
Kit: And Birdie will go
Kit (as Birdie): Ow!
Kit: And then stick her tongue out and it's folded in half.
Penn: Marathon gawks.
Cameron (as Emma): It all just depends, Marathon. How flexible is your tongue?
Kit (as Birdie): [very surprised it was Emma making that joke] [choke laugh]
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, Birdie, you're gonna have to teach me some tips.
Cameron: And Emma looks over at Cassidy. [laughing]
Sydney (as Cassidy): I'm just gonna, let's see how long it takes to heal.
Penn (as Marathon): [laugh] I promise it'll grow on you. Thanks for being my girlfriend.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh huh.
Kit (as Birdie): I think she likes it. I think she likes it secretly.
Penn: Marathon scans Cassidy's face.
Sydney: Cassidy has a small amount of smile break through her stoicness.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, there it is. I see it. I see it. You're right. You're right.
Kit (as Birdie): Mhm.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, it's a shame that you're not gonna be able to kiss me for a bit then, huh?
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, my god!
Sydney (as Cassidy): And no suction? Tragic.
Penn (as Marathon): [sad exhale]
Sydney (as Cassidy): Missed opportunities.
Penn (as Marathon): [sad] Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): [very apologetic] I swear I didn't know.
Penn: And Marathon puts her head down.
Sydney: Cassidy turns around and goes back to cleaning dishes.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm sorry, Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): It's okay. No, it's worth it for the cool.
Penn: And Marathon has had her hand outstretched towards Cassidy as she turned away.
Penn (as Marathon): That's cool. It's cool.
Cameron (as Emma): I mean, just, just think about how much you'll want to kiss Cassidy by the time you can without causing your lip immense pain.
Penn (as Marathon): That's too easy. I'm already doing it.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. How many weeks is it?
Penn (as Marathon): [laughing] Oh they didn't give us a sheet.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Get some advice from Vaus.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah. Luckily, Vaus still lives here. Vaus~! Come look at Birdie's new mods.
Kit: Birdie straightens up as Vaus comes into the room and will swish their tea around in the very dainty teacup that they're holding, and look between Marathon and Birdie several times and then go
Kit (as Vaus): Nice.
Nick: What follows next is multiple weeks of back to back to back X Bike racing. The bookings were made by Opal with the eye to give you all as much public exposure as possible and climb the rankings as much as possible as quickly as possible, before the finalists for the season are announced. The races are varied and dangerous, and it turns out that each race ends up depending on one person's particular skill or specialty. To start off, I need a hard Mechanics roll from Emma with one black die.
Cameron: So I do have the Talent Knack For It for Mechanics, so I'm gonna remove the black die.
Nick: [disappointed GM noise] Mmm.
Cameron: So this is based on how Emma modded the bikes?
Nick: Yeah, so either how she modded the bikes or how she prepared them for the race. It's bike centric.
Cameron: So I was going to look at using the Inventor skill, because it's construct new or modify existing items I get a blue die.
Nick: Okay.
Cameron: And so if we're going with the bike mods that I made, may I have a blue die?
Nick: Yes.
Cameron: So for this Mechanics roll, I'm going to be rolling three yellows, a green, a blue, and three purples.
[dice rolling]
Cameron: Two successes, five advantages.
Nick: Wow. Okay, so we'll say those five advantages you can pass on as two blue die on the next race check if you would like.
Cameron: Yeah. I made those bikes so good, they're doing good into the future.
Nick: Yep, that makes sense. And with two successes, Team Patina does win the race. So set the scene a little bit of what the race looks like, and tell us how your bike modifications clinch the victory.
Cameron: So this first race in this long sequence is sponsored by the Logging Dome, and all of the obstacles are either incredibly hilly or very heavily wooded areas. So some of the mods that Emma made to the bikes that played well into this track was the enhancements in beefiness to Birdie' bike made getting up the big hills a quick piece of cake for Birdie to help maintain the lead place-wise in front of others. And then one of the obstacles is within one of the dense treed areas and required the riders to weave between the trees and random images of wild animals would pop out from behind a tree to like judge your quick reaction time and the amount of focus that Cassidy and Emma put in their spreadsheet and graph on speed and reaction time make it so Cassidy is just zooming around all of these creatures popping out at her and easily leading the pack through the forested area.
Nick: And we see Birdie and Cassidy at the top of the podium as they win this logging themed race. There is a ranking board on the side of the stadium, and we see the Patina slide up several positions. There are more races in between that race and the next one that we see in more detail. But a scant week later, I need Birdie to roll me a hard Driving check with a black die, but also two blue die from Emma's advantages.
Kit: Birdie will be rolling three yellow, one green, two blue, three purple, and one black. Two successes and two advantages.
Nick: Nice. So what kind of theming did this race have, and how does Birdie's Driving specifically help the Patina to win?
Kit: This track is very unique in its setup. Instead of three obstacles, it's two halves of a elimination style, who can stay up the longest, as the track is based off of children's games. In the first half, the racers have to manage to stay upright and not smushed by six foot tall white marbles rolling around a bowl shaped track that's completely circular in nature, while large mechanical -seems to be hippos, every once in a while, will extend out and up and then clamp down on the track and pull the racers that it catches back into its corner. And the second half is more of a track style race to the finish as the racers are placed in a Rube Goldberg machine with one of the giant marbles from the last round chasing them through the track. They have to basically evade each obstacle as it comes up and causes the next obstacle in a chain reaction to the end which these two games are, while unpredictable in their own ways, both Birdie and Cassidy have the brains to recognize patterns and timing for this track and are able to avoid being stuck underneath or in any of the traps along both halves, unlike many of their more unlucky and ill timed competitors, and end out on top.
Nick: And once again, we see Birdie and Cassidy on the top of the podium and the Patina rises even higher in the rankings. We also see the Patina walking through the streets of Sasnak Traveling and starting to be recognized by people on the street as they gain renown. Cassidy and Birdie both get stopped multiple times for autographs and asked to regale small groups with what to look forward to in future races and what their strategies are. How do Birdie and Cassidy feel about this new found fame, as people are starting to waylay you whenever you try to go anywhere publicly?
Sydney: Cassidy finds it novel the first two times. Like signing autographs isn't too bad, but if they want her to talk, it quickly drains her. And I think there's a point where she stops wandering around so freely on her own, relying on Marathon in a tall, dark suit, now more imposing with her new piercings to dissuade people from casually running up to her without deciding that it's worth it.
Penn (as Marathon): Space for the talent!
Penn: Marathon walks with wraparound sunglasses as well, stonewalling fans that try to approach Cassidy without the go ahead nod from her first.
Kit: Birdie, does really well with the attention. She may find it kind of tiring after a while, I think, as anyone with a normal social battery tends to find happening, but especially as she's garnered the reputation of carrying on Zan's legacy and now being this newcomer, after a very long time of basically having no persona in Sasnak, I think she takes it to her advantage to really solidify that people have a great impression of both the Patina and the former Foundlings siblings that some people still remember.
Nick: The whirlwind schedule of races continues as the Patina doesn't seem to be able to lose, racking up victories and climbing the ranking. Marathon can you roll me a hard Charm check, please, with one black die, but you also get a blue die for Birdie's advantages in the last race.
Penn: So I am rolling three purple, three yellow, one black, and one blue.
[dice rolling]
Penn: Five successes, including a Triumph and two threats.
Nick: Huh. That's really good. So Marathon, you are widely successful in your Charm, which helps to motivate the Patina to yet another victory in this series of races. How has Marathon used her Charm to assist her friends?
Penn: Well as we know, part of X Bike scoring is determined by how much the crowd is interested, how much the judges are interested. It can be very subjective sometimes, and to assist the Patina's team with getting more recognition and being more charming with everybody, Marathon has jumped in as the team's mascot. Marathon has just been going by her own name for the mascot as Marathon is not a very common name in these parts or any parts, and so it's apt to an X Bike racing team. And so during this race, which is a pretty standard X Bike race, except for the fact that blinding lights are going on and off and into the contestants faces throughout the race as they're going up ramps and over trap doors. As this race is going, Marathon unveils her new act, practicing some skills she learned in a past life, juggling a large chainsaw and as her confidence builds, adding in other chainsaws, wooing the crowd in between feats of racing daring do.
Her outfit may also have something to do with the success of her cheerleading - she's wearing a tight cropped, short sleeve leather jacket cropped in all the right places, showing just enough cleavage and muscle and bicep, along with some suspenders and leather trunks, making sure that her abs are showing in between and long boots that go all the way up to her knees, fingerless gloves and a collar just to up the tantalization of the crowd as she juggles these chainsaws. And we can hear as the crowd roars for her and she's able to move their energy in whichever direction she needs, distracting them when other racers are being too successful, and redirecting their attention to the racers when Cassidy and Birdie are leading. She's able to manipulate the crowd in a much more direct way than she's used to in the past, and a large smile has started to creep over her faces during these games.
Nick: Marathon, you are wildly successful at swaying the audience and the judges in the Patina's favor, and we see that they win the current race with a lot of bonus points being awarded for style points and the judges choices, helping them to put together a victory when the race itself wasn't necessarily going as well. And with that Triumph, the Patina has the added advantage of you all have climbed the rankings enough at this point that some of the teams you are racing are some of the professional teams, and one of your opponents from this race actually gets into a big crash and they are unable to continue for the season, meaning that if you make the Finals, there will be a another backup team in the competition rather than one of the top competitors, making the field a little more forgiving for you.
After five weeks of racing multiple times a week, you all are tired, but it's hard not to pull energy from the successes that you've had. You have been winning race after race, climbing through the ranks, watching other teams misfortune as they fall behind and every race the stadium is more full as not only the competitions are more important and influential, but you have a growing fan base making a point of coming to see you ride whenever they can. And you come to the last X Bike competition before the end of the regular season and the announcement of which teams will be in the Finals to compete for the X Bike Championship Trophy, and I need a Driving check from Cassidy with two black die and I'm going to flip my GM Point to upgrade the difficulty - one of the purples to a red. It will be a hard Driving check.
Sydney: All right, well, I have no relevant skills, and I can't flip a Story Point because you already flipped a story point, so I'm rolling three yellows and two greens against two purples, a red, and two blacks.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: Two successes and two advantages.
Nick: Man. Cassidy, your driving propels the team to victory. What does this race look like, and how do you win and help to secure a spot for the Patina in the championship?
Sydney: The course for this is a giant incline where one side of the arena, the first few rows of seats have been blocked off because the terrain has been built up, and the course starts with a hill climb over very rough terrain with a trick segment at the top, and then a downhill race down a different portion of the slope. Everything is riddled with rocks, berms, short wood half bridges that leave holes where the bikes are forced to take them fast enough to catch air just to make it to the next bit of solid ground without falling a dangerously far distance. But while this is a very challenging terrain for the local racers who are more used to a less natural, more artificial construct type build, this is exactly the kind of terrain that Cassidy learned to ride in the first place on, because it is outside. And in fact, the sight lines are even better because the tree foliage, such as it is, is artificial, because they couldn't pick up a bunch of trees and bear that expense. So Cassidy feels at home. Birdie also, as a veteran of the outdoors riding, the Patina performs quite well. The chainsaws that Marathon juggles are conveniently on theme for this more natural environment, and the judges approve.
Nick: We see yet again, Cassidy and Birdie, who are becoming quite comfortable on the top of the winners podium. On the winners podium, again. The crowd is chanting for the Patina. The final standings before the Championship are set and we see Emma and Marathon and Surge and Audrey all pulled up onto the winners podium so that the team can celebrate together a unprecedented season of success in such a short time with so many races. And all that's left is for the Patina to wait to hear from Opal if she is able to pull the right strings to get you into the Finals race and give you a chance to go after the Championship Trophy.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind